Chapter 7: Gail's Concerns
It was a Tuesday afternoon in late March when Tootie came into the lounge after class, kicked her shoes off, and propped her poor swollen feet up on the coffee table. She was almost thirty-three weeks along, with less than eight weeks to go until her due date in May, and she was now really starting to feel the symptoms of late pregnancy. Her feet and her back were killing her and to state the obvious, she was not in the best of moods. As she sat there in her large pink blouse and jeans, leaning her head back and closing her eyes, she tried very hard to just put all of her discomfort out of her mind. (Obviously, the school had made an exception about the school uniform in Tootie's case and now, she was attending all of her classes in everyday clothes.)
A couple of moments later, though, the payphone rang, which only worsened Tootie's mood as she contemplated the possibility of having to get back up on her feet again. Mercifully, just as she was about to struggle to her swollen feet to answer it, Blair happily strolled into the lounge.
"I got it, Tootie," she told her, and then she picked up the phone.
Tootie soon realized a few seconds into the conversation that it was her father calling, but that he was calling specifically to speak to Blair, not her. It was clear that he was calling because he had news regarding the adoption.
Several minutes later, Blair hung up the phone and came around and sat down next to Tootie.
"Good news or bad news, Blair?" she asked.
Blair replied with a smile, "Good news, Tootie. Very good news. Your parents and my mother have gotten everything all worked out. The judge is going to approve the adoption. All that's left is for us to sign the papers once the baby's born."
"I'm so relieved. I was afraid my parents and your mom might not be able to work things out. Then I'd be right back to square one."
"Not to worry. It's all arranged," Blair assured her, and then Tootie looked at her and smiled for a long, silent moment. Afterwards, Blair asked, "Are you really sure about this, Tootie? You know I wouldn't blame you or have any hard feelings if you changed your mind. I couldn't blame you for having second thoughts. I can only imagine how hard this must be."
Tootie shook her head as she responded, "I'm not having second thoughts. In a way, it's hard, sure, but in another way, it really isn't. I mean, yeah, sure, I'll probably fall in love with the baby when it's born and want to hold it and bond with it and never let it go, but yet, I'm also really relieved to be giving it to you. Mrs. Garrett's told me that I've matured an awful lot since all of this happened to me, and I guess I have, but still, I know there's no way I can take care of a baby now. I am way too young to handle something like that and I know it. I love this baby more than I can say with words, but I don't want to be a mother right now. I can't be a mother right now. And knowing that I'll be giving it to somebody like you, somebody I know and trust who really wants this baby and has the means to take care of it the way you do, makes this whole thing so much easier."
Blair smiled, squeezed Tootie's hand, and told her, "I'm so glad, Tootie. I never imagined that I'd become a mother at eighteen, but now, holding the baby in my arms, meeting it for the first time, bringing it home with me, singing it lullabies…that's all I can think about. Well, that and changing it several times in the middle of the night, mopping up drool, and dealing with temper tantrums." Tootie laughed at that, and then Blair added, "It sounds wonderful."
"Sounds like you've still been hanging around at Alison's a lot," Tootie observed.
"Absolutely. I am determined to try and go into this as prepared as humanly possible. I'm going to Alison's tonight to babysit Emily while Alison and David go out to eat, as a matter of fact."
Tootie shook her head and said, "I still can't believe you're spending all your free time babysitting instead of dating. You haven't been on a date in ages now. I can't get over it. You must really love this baby, Blair. Anytime Blair Warner gives up the dating world for somebody, that's true love!" Blair and Tootie laughed at that, and then a moment later, Tootie asked, "You're really excited about meeting the newest Warner, aren't you?"
"Of course I'm excited, Tootie. But since you brought the subject up, I just want to say that the baby doesn't necessarily have to have my last name. I'd understand if you wanted its last name to be Ramsey and not Warner."
Tootie shook her head and explained, "I've been thinking about that for a long time now. The truth is, Blair, even though I am carrying this baby and even though I will be giving birth to it in several weeks, I won't be the one raising it. You'll be the one raising it. You'll be the one caring for it and providing for it all the time. You'll be its mother, not me. And if you're its mother, it's only right for the baby to have your last name."
Blair remined quiet for a minute or so, and then Tootie asked, "Is everything alright, Blair?"
Blair smiled and answered, "Everything's fine. It's just that it's only now beginning to sink in a little bit: I'm actually becoming a mother! I'm actually doing this. This is really happening."
"Yeah, it is."
"I guess it's time for me to officially begin house-hunting now."
"Speaking of house-hunting, I hope Dad finishes his soon."
"He's still looking, isn't he?"
"Mm-hmm. He tried to tell me before that when it came to looking for a house, he was a pretty 'straightforward' kind of guy, but the truth is, he's really very picky. I think he's driving the poor real estate agent crazy."
"I'll bet I drive my real estate agent even crazier. I can't wait to start looking. It'll be such fun! I'll call my mother and her real estate agent, Mrs. Thomas, and set up a meeting for tomorrow afternoon after school. She's sold Mom several houses and penthouse apartments over the years. They're old friends. When she gets ready to start showing me places here in Peekskill, you should come along with me, Tootie."
"I appreciate the offer, but with the way I'm feeling nowadays, I don't want to go anywhere."
"Oh, I'm sorry, Tootie. I guess I wasn't thinking. It's just that I figured you should have some input over the house I choose, too. I mean, I know you'll want to spend a lot of time over at my place with the baby. I was thinking you should have your own room so you can spend the night any time you want."
"That's so thoughtful, Blair," Tootie said with a smile. "I really appreciate that. But if there's one thing I know about you, it's that you have impeccable taste. I know that any house you choose will be beautiful, and so will my bedroom."
"Thanks, Tootie. The offer still stands, though, if you change your mind and decide you want to go out house-hunting with me."
"Thank you. Maybe I will if I have better days than today."
"Your back and your feet again, huh?"
"What else?" said Tootie with a roll of her eyes. "I'd go upstairs, lie down, and try to relax, only I've got so much homework to do."
"I know what you mean. I have a big homework assignment, myself. It's this essay for English class. It's a pretty major part of our final grade, as a matter of fact."
"What's it about?"
"It's basically the Eastland version of the age-old assignment where you have to talk about what you want to do when you grow up. She wants us to write specifically about our plans for the immediate future after we graduate from Eastland. We have to talk about what colleges we're applying to and what we plan on majoring in and what our hopes and plans and goals are for our future careers. It's a pretty big deal, but not just because of how it impacts our final grade; this is the last assignment Miss Gallagher's giving us before she leaves."
"Miss Gallagher's leaving? I didn't know that."
Blair nodded, and then she told her, "I overheard her and Mr. Bradley discussing it in the hall. She'll be gone by the end of next week."
"That really makes me kind of sad. I was always looking forward to having Miss Gallagher as my English teacher. For a teacher, she's really a lot of fun. I was even looking forward to Beowulf because of her."
"It makes me sad, too. I think I can honestly say that Miss Gallagher is the best teacher I've ever had. As much as I hate to admit it, there have actually been times when I've looked forward to going to English class. With her leading the class, it never takes effort to pay attention. She actually makes it interesting and intriguing…even fun. It just won't be the same at Eastland without her."
"I know," Tootie agreed.
"I think this is going to hit Jo harder than anyone, though. She thinks the world of Miss Gallagher."
"Yeah. She probably will be pretty angry and upset. I don't think I want to be in the same room with her when she does find out."
"I know how you feel. I don't want to be in the same room with Jo when she first hears about it, either."
"Anyway, you said a moment ago that your assignment for Miss Gallagher was to write an essay about your college and career plans after you graduate from Eastland. What are you going to tell her in your essay?"
"I'm glad you brought that up. I was going to ask you about that. I know you and I agreed that we would keep the adoption between us for a while, but I just wouldn't feel right telling a bunch of lies in my essay. I could claim that I'm applying to Langley and planning on being an art major, but obviously, that's not the truth. In the past, I wouldn't have cared; I would have just thought of it all as a harmless little white lie, but now that my relationship with Jesus has changed so much over these past few months and we've gotten so much closer, I–"
"You don't have to explain. I know what you're talking about. Jesus and I have been getting a lot closer through this whole thing, too. I don't mean to sound corny, but I think it's my relationship with the Lord that's given me the strength to survive all of this inside. And I don't have any problems with you telling the truth in your essay. I know it wouldn't be right if you filled your assignment with a bunch of lies. Besides, I don't think Miss Gallagher's the kind of person who would just blurt out private information like this to Mrs. Garrett or anybody else. I think she's smart enough to know that what you write in your essay is confidential."
Blair nodded and said, "I agree. I think she is, too. Okay, then. That settles it. I'll write in my essay all about how I plan to become a stay-at-home mom."
"You always look so happy whenever you talk about how you're going to be a stay-at-home mom, Blair," Tootie observed.
"That's because it does make me happy to talk about it, Tootie. I'm really looking forward to being a full-time mother."
Tootie then put her hands on her round stomach and said, "This baby is going to be the most spoiled little baby in all of Peekskill." In the next moment, they laughed together a little bit. Then Tootie said a little more seriously, "I'll never forget everything you're doing for me."
Blair dismissed it with a wave of her hand and teased, "Oh, please! This is entirely selfish! I'm doing it for myself more than anyone else. My life was getting way too boring, anyway. I was just wasting all my time playing the field, which will get pretty dull in Peekskill pretty quick. Once you date one Bates boy, you've dated them all. It'll do me some good to shake things up; focus on something else for a while."
Tootie wasn't having it, though, as she shook her head. "No, Blair, seriously," she said. "I know you never had to agree to postpone college and your art career just to take care of my baby and give me peace of mind. I know that no matter what you say, this really is a big personal sacrifice you're making. I'll never forget that. I really owe you one, and that's putting it mildly."
It was now Blair who shook her head, and then she told her friend, "Tootie, you owe the gas company. You owe Bloomingdale's. You don't owe your friends. Besides, I know that if the tables were turned; if I were fourteen and had gotten raped and then pregnant, and you were eighteen and you had my wealth and connections, you would do the same thing for me."
Tootie nodded and said, "You're right. I would."
"And if Natalie or Jo were in my position, we both know that they'd do exactly what I'm doing. That's just the way this family works. We help each other whenever one of us is in trouble."
"We do have a great family, don't we?" Tootie mused.
"The best," Blair agreed.
Blair and Tootie continued talking for a few more minutes, and then they both got started on their homework. Blair in particular put in a lot of long, hard work on her essay for English class, which was due the following Thursday.
However, Blair's class was also expected to turn in a rough draft of their work that Friday, and on that Friday afternoon when Miss Gallagher first got a chance to look over what Blair had written, she was utterly flabbergasted to say the least. As it turned out, Tootie's prediction that Miss Gallagher would respect the girls' confidentiality did not hold true at all. After she read Blair's rough draft, she immediately called Mr. Bradley into her classroom.
When Miss Gallagher called for Mr. Bradley to come see her over the intercom, he practically ran down the empty school corridor to her classroom. Mr. Bradley was one of only a handful of people who knew the real reason why Miss Gallagher was leaving her position at Eastland soon. When Blair had overhead them talking in the hall about her departure, she assumed that her English teacher had simply accepted a better-paying job at another school. The tragic truth of the matter was, Gail Gallagher had been diagnosed with a malignant, inoperable brain tumor several weeks ago, and she was not expected to live much longer. Thus, when Mr. Bradley heard she wanted to see him, his active imagination caused him to fear the worst-case scenario. He was terrified that this had something to do with her illness and that perhaps he would need to call in a doctor, maybe even an ambulance.
"Are you alright?" was the first words that came out of a breathless Mr. Bradley the minute he set foot in Gail's classroom, and as she sat in her chair behind her desk, she almost had to stifle a laugh. His blatantly obvious concern for her really did touch her heart.
"I'm fine, Mr. Bradley," she assured him as he approached her desk.
"Are you sure you're alright?" he persisted, and again, she smiled.
"Mr. Bradley, I assure you, if anything goes wrong with me here at school before I leave next Friday, you will be the first person to know."
Mr. Bradley's stiff body visibly relaxed when she told him that, and then he asked her, "In that case, Miss Gallagher, what can I do for you?"
Gail then handed him Blair's rough draft and replied, "You can read this. You know about the last assignment I'm giving my students that's due next Thursday, right?"
"The essay about their plans for the future after they leave Eastland."
"Yes. Well today, I had them all turn in a rough draft. I think you ought to read Blair Warner's."
"Why? Is she planning on living off the family fortune for the rest of her life so she can spend all her time polishing her diamonds or something?" he teased.
"Oh, come on, Mr. Bradley. You know you shouldn't talk about a student like that," Miss Gallagher scolded him. "And you know perfectly well that there's a lot more to that young lady besides that silly spoiled princess act she's always putting on."
"I know; I know. I was just kidding. I know that underneath it all, Blair really is a good kid with a big heart."
Gail locked her eyes with Stephen's then and told him seriously, "You have no idea how big."
"What do you mean?"
"Just read her rough draft. You'll understand what I'm talking about once you've read everything she's said."
"Alright," Stephen agreed, and then he sat down in one of the students' desks and proceeded to read Blair's rough draft over the next few minutes. Once he'd finished reading it, he slowly set it down on the desk and blew out a low whistle.
"Exactly," said Gail, who was still having the same emotional reaction herself. A moment later, she got up from her seat, walked around to the front of her desk, and leaned back against it with her arms folded across her chest.
"I…wow. Just…wow. I…I don't even know what to say."
"Well I do. I can't believe Blair's mother is being so irresponsible. What kind of mother says yes to something like this? What kind of mother agrees to letting her daughter become a mother at age eighteen and flush her entire college career down the drain?"
"Do you think Blair's wrong to want to help Tootie like this?" Stephen questioned.
Gail vehemently shook her head, and then she told him, "It's not a question of right or wrong. It's not that simple. There's no doubt about it that this would be the ideal solution for Tootie and her baby, but think about Blair. Blair may be legally considered an adult now, but like Tootie, she's still just a teenager, herself. She is way too young to take on this kind of responsibility. She still has so much life left to live. She should not be thinking about buying a house and taking care of a baby now. She should be filling out college applications and thinking about what classes she wants to take next semester. She should be thinking about boyfriends and school dances. She should still be enjoying what's left of her teenage years."
Mr. Bradley sighed and said, "Yeah, I see your point."
"It's not that I don't want Tootie's baby to go to a good home and for Tootie to have peace of mind. Of course I do. But I think that Blair deciding to put off going to college so she can adopt Tootie's baby is simply insane. She'll be playing Russian roulette with her education and her future. Lots of people decide not to go to college at first and they always claim that they'll go back to school later, but then, guess what? Life happens. They get married. They have kids. They go to work full-time to support all their kids and then they have no time for college and that dream for their life is officially dead. Blair may be filthy rich and it may not be financially difficult for her to go back to college whenever she wants, but who's to say that two, three, four years from now, she won't fall in love, get married, and then have baby number two, which she will also want to stay at home to take care of? And after baby number two, how long will it be until baby number three arrives? I've seen this kind of thing happen to so many of my friends. They put off going to college for some reason, and then they simply weren't able to go back to school because life got in the way. I just don't want to see that happen to Blair. She may act like she's not the sharpest tool in the shed sometimes, but I know that that is not the truth. Blair is a very intelligent young woman with a promising future. I don't want to see her throw that away."
Mr. Bradley then got up from the desk and told her, "I don't want to see that happen, either. You are absolutely right. Underneath Blair's silly little princess act, she really is a very bright and talented young lady. I've seen some of her artwork. She could go pretty far as an artist if she chose to pursue it, and I'd hate to see her sacrifice that. However, here at Eastland, we teach these girls more than just their courses. We teach them values. We teach them friendship and generosity. We teach them to give help to somebody who's in trouble, and to put others before themselves. I'm not saying I agree with what Blair is doing and I'm certainly not saying that I agree with her mother allowing it. I don't. I think it's so sad that Blair doesn't have real parents to step in and put a stop to this. But I do have to admire Blair, and speaking as her headmaster, I couldn't be prouder of her. She is the living, breathing example of what this school is all about."
"I hear what you're saying, Mr. Bradley, and I do agree that what Blair is doing is the perfect example of the true Eastland spirit. I admire her just as much as you do, and I am also very proud of her. It's because I'm so proud of her and admire her so much that I'm so worried about her. I don't want her to do something that seems good and noble now, that will only rob her of her full potential in the end. Blair's been robbed enough as it is. She may be financially wealthy, but she's been robbed of having real parents all her life. I don't want to see her get robbed of anything else."
"I know, Gail. I know," Stephen said sadly. "You're right. It is heartbreaking that Blair's never had parents in her life who actually act like parents. I know that as far as parents go, she deserves better; that she's always deserved better. And I don't want to see Blair ruin her future any more than you do. But whether we like it or not, this is a private family matter between the Warners and the Ramseys. Blair's mother has clearly chosen to support her decision. If perhaps Blair had decided to try to go through with something like this without notifying her parents, then we would have been able to intervene, but not in this case. Since Mrs. Warner obviously doesn't have any problems with this, there's nothing we can do."
After several moments of silence, Gail said, "Blair may not have parents who act like parents, but she does have a nutritionist who acts like a parent."
"Mrs. Garrett? But doesn't she already know about this?"
"Oh Stephen, grow up! Of course she doesn't know! Do you honestly believe things would have gotten this far if she actually knew what was going on? If Blair had told her about it, you know perfectly well that Edna Garrett would have nipped this thing in the bud like Barney Fife a long time ago."
"You're right. She would have. Do you want me to go tell her?"
Gail shook her head, and then she replied, "You don't have to tell her. Just ask her to read Blair's rough draft. If anyone can talk some sense into her, it's Edna, and I'm sure she will after she reads it."
"Right," Stephen agreed. In the next second, he picked up Blair's rough draft from the desk. "I'll go take this to Edna now."
A couple of seconds later, just as Stephen was on his way out the door, there was a brief knock, and then Edna walked in.
"Hello, Edna," Gail greeted her with a friendly smile. "We were just talking about you."
"I was just about to come and find you, as a matter of fact," Stephen added.
"Oh, really? Nothing serious, I hope. I'm not being put in detention, am I?" Edna kidded, and Gail and Stephen chuckled a bit.
"No, of course not," Stephen assured her.
For the next couple of minutes, the three faculty members joked around a little and had some small talk, all the while Jo was making her way up the hall to Gail's door. She was hoping to ask Gail to look over everything she'd written so far for her latest article in The Eastlander. It was true that Gail wasn't the journalism teacher, but she often had some very helpful suggestions for Jo.
Just as Jo stopped right outside the English teacher's door, though, she heard Mrs. Garrett say, "I know you've been having a rough go of it lately, Gail. I just wanted to come by and check on you."
"That's very thoughtful, Edna, but I assure you, I'm alright."
"There's no harm in keeping a close eye on our favorite senior English teacher, though," said Mr. Bradley. "A gem of a teacher like you doesn't come around every day."
"That's right," Mrs. Garrett agreed. "A person like you is a real gift, and we should look after all the gifts in our lives."
Gail chuckled at them for a moment, then reminded them, "We've been over this before, you two. My illness does not mean that you have to treat me as if I'm made of porcelain."
"Illness?" Jo said in disbelief.
"You don't have to fret over me like a couple of nervous mother hens," Gail continued, "and you don't have to ask me if I'm alright every five minutes. You know that if I'm not feeling well, you two will be the first people to know."
"Oh Gail, we're not only concerned about you because of your illness," Edna told her kindly. "We're concerned because we care about you. You're our friend."
"That's true," Mr. Bradley agreed.
"Well thanks, guys. I really appreciate it. And it is true that this week has been rather taxing for me, but all I need is to go home, lie down, and relax for a little while. I'll be fine," Gail insisted with a valiant smile, which Edna and Stephen returned. However, it was hardly a secret to either one of them that Gail was downplaying the gravity of the situation and putting on a brave face. But no matter how much she tried to hide it, her friends could easily see all the fatigue in her eyes.
"Well you just be sure you get plenty of rest at home, huh?" Edna gently admonished her, and she nodded.
"Will do," Gail assured her.
"So what did you want to see me about, Mr. Bradley?" Mrs. Garrett asked.
"Oh yes, I wanted to ask you to read this," he responded as he held up Blair's rough draft.
"Blair's rough draft of her essay?" Edna commented, having immediately recognized it as soon as Mr. Bradley held it up.
"Just for the record, Edna, you haven't actually read any of this, have you?" Mr. Bradley inquired, and Mrs. Garrett shook her head.
"No, I haven't. I do know that Blair's been putting an awful lot of work into this, though. I'm sure the final copy she turns in next Thursday will be wonderful."
"There's no doubt that Blair did put a great deal of thought and effort into this, Edna," Gail told her. "It's clearly reflected in this draft."
"I don't see the problem. If Blair did such a great job with the draft, is there any reason why I need to read it? Or do you just want me to see what a terrific job she did?"
Gail shook her head and explained, "This has nothing to do with the quality of Blair's work. You should read what Blair has written about her plans for her future after she graduates Eastland. I was very concerned about what I read, and I think you will be, too. I'm hoping that once you've read Blair's draft, you'll sit down with her and have a long talk with her."
Uh oh, Jo said to herself inside. This is not good. I'd better warn Blair to prepare herself for a lecture…maybe even a fight.
"Alright," Mrs. Garrett agreed. "If you think it's that important, I'll have a look at it as soon as I can."
"It is important, Edna," Stephen concurred, and then he handed the draft to her.
"You two have certainly piqued my interest. I wonder what on earth this could be about," Mrs. Garrett mused.
"It's really best if you–" Gail began to say, but then the room suddenly started spinning and she couldn't keep her balance. Jo, who was watching through the tiny crack of the barely-open door, watched as Mrs. Garrett and Mr. Bradley reached out and grabbed her before she fell.
"Gail!" Mrs. Garrett cried out.
"Hold on; hold on," Mr. Bradley said anxiously as he and Mrs. Garrett started helping her over to her chair behind her desk.
"It's alright, dear. We've got you," Mrs. Garrett reassured her, and then they got her in her seat.
"Easy," Mr. Bradley whispered. Then he asked, "Gail, do you want us to call your doctor?"
"Are you kidding? What do I need a doctor for? You two keep acting like I'm dying of an inoperable brain tumor or something! You know perfectly well that I'm just drunk!" she kidded, and then Jo suddenly felt an invisible dagger plunge into her stomach. "You guys know about my drinking problem. I've been hiding whiskey in my desk drawer and drinking whiskey shots behind the students' backs all day. It's only now starting to get the best of me."
Edna, who was now kneeling in front of her, tenderly touched her younger friend's cheek and whispered, "Gail."
In that moment, Jo quickly took off and ran back to the kitchen, and from there, to the girls' room upstairs.
Later that evening when they'd all cleaned up after supper, Jo came into the lounge to have a private word with Mrs. G., who was sitting on the loveseat reading a book. As soon as Jo walked in, she noticed Blair's draft of her English essay sitting in the middle of the coffee table amongst a bunch of other magazines and papers. Jo couldn't say for certain, but she was fairly sure, judging by how calm Mrs. Garrett seemed, that she hadn't read it yet. Natalie and Tootie were upstairs and Blair had gone to visit Alison and Emily once again, so Jo and Mrs. G. had the lounge to themselves for the moment. The instant Mrs. Garrett saw Jo, she could easily tell that she had a lot on her mind, so she quickly set her book down on the coffee table and gave Jo her undivided attention.
Not one to beat around the bush, Jo simply walked into the lounge, folded her arms, looked Mrs. Garrett straight in the eyes, and asked, "Is it true?"
"Is what true, Jo?"
"I came around to Gail's classroom earlier this afternoon. I wanted to ask her for some suggestions about my latest article for the school paper, but when I got there, you and her and Mr. Bradley were all talkin', so I decided to hang around and wait until your conversation was over."
"Oh, Jo," Mrs. Garrett said in a deep, sad tone.
"Is it true what she said about havin' some kind of inoperable brain tumor?"
After a long, quiet moment, Mrs. Garrett nodded; in the next instant, Jo was visibly fighting off tears. Mrs. Garrett then said, "I'm sorry, Jo. I am so sorry. I know how deeply it hurts to lose a friend. I know this isn't easy for you."
Jo shook her head and said, "Who cares about me? Gail's the one who's dyin'. She's the one we oughtta be worryin' about."
Mrs. Garrett got up then, walked over to Jo, and told her, "We're all deeply concerned about Gail. What she's going through now is devastating, and we all want to do everything we can to help her. But what you're feeling matters, too. I know how much this must be hurting you inside, and it's not good to keep your feelings bottled up. It's also not good to try to run away from them," she said pointedly. Jo took the hint, and she shook her head.
"You don't have to worry about me, Mrs. G. I'm not gonna try to run away from this. If this had happened last year, before Tootie got raped, I'm sure I probably would've tried to run away. I'm sure I would've gotten all wrapped up in myself and how scared I felt about losing a friend, and spent all my time tryin' to avoid Gail or run away from her so I wouldn't have to face the pain. I probably would've been selfish like that and made it all about me and not Gail. But after watchin' everything Tootie's been goin' through, I know better than to act like that now. Despite the fact that she already went through a sexual assault and despite the fact that one of her own parents didn't even support her, she still had the strength and the guts and the decency to put her baby's needs ahead of her own. I can't imagine what it must be like, bein' pregnant at fourteen. If Tootie can be that strong for her baby, who am I to be runnin' away from my friend at a time like this like some selfish wimp?" Jo asked as her voice began to crack and a silent tear fell down her cheek.
"And I don't need to talk about all my feelings, Mrs. Garrett," she continued. "I've got a mom who's bustin' her butt constantly at two jobs to put me through this fancy school. I've got our family here at Eastland with you and the girls. I've got great friends. I've got a new boyfriend I'm crazy about. I've got two part-time jobs I love. I've got excellent grades; I'm at the top of my class and I'm probably gonna graduate as class valedictorian. I've even got a bunch of interesting classes I love. And on top of all that, I'm in perfect health and unless I get in an accident drivin' a race car one day, I'll probably live a pretty long life. God willing, I'll probably get to graduate college in a few years, start a career, fall in love, get married, have kids, have grandkids, maybe even have great-grandkids, and die an old woman. I'm blessed. I'm in great shape. I've got it pretty good. But Gail? She's not gonna get old," Jo said, and in that moment, she broke down and started sobbing. Mrs. Garrett quickly grabbed her and pulled her into her arms and held her tight while she cried. Mrs. Garrett even cried with her.
Mrs. Garrett kissed her cheek a couple of minutes later, and then with Jo still in her embrace, she looked into her eyes and said to her, "I know, honey. I know. I know how much it hurts."
"She should have more time," Jo said through her tears with gritted teeth.
"I know," Edna said quietly, and then their embrace ended.
"The kind of neighborhoods Gail and I grew up in, you took your chances just steppin' outside the door. But she got out, Mrs. Garrett. She survived, and then after spendin' so many years of her life working and studying, trying to make something of herself, she graduated from college and became a teacher. But what's the point of all that hard work and dedication if it's only gonna be taken away from you at twenty-six? What does it matter? What's the difference?"
Mrs. Garrett then gently touched Jo's chin with her index finger, firmly held her gaze with her strong blue eyes, and told her, "You're the difference, Jo. You are the difference, and so is every other student who's ever been in her class. Gail undeniably has a God-given gift for teaching. Not every teacher has that gift, but Gail does, and she's used it to touch the lives of hundreds of Eastland students. You told me just last week that you'd recently decided you wanted to become a teacher and how you never would have even considered it had it not been for Gail. That's the difference. A person could live to be eighty years-old and have nothing to show for it. Gail. Has. You."
Jo cried silently for several more moments, and then she wiped away her tears and said, "I still wish she could have more than twenty-six years, an education degree, and a few classes of students. I still wish she could have the chance to grow old…have grandchildren. I just hate feeling so helpless. It's not fair that there's nothing I can do to stop it."
"I know, sweetheart, but the sad fact is, life on this earth is never fair."
"I know. But there's gotta be somethin' I can do. There's gotta be some kind of way that I can make all of this easier for her somehow. There's gotta be somethin' I can do to help."
"Sometimes, Jo, the only thing you can really do is just…be there. You don't have to try and fix this or make it better. You don't even have to let Gail know that you found out about her illness. Just go to her classes next week and be the best student you can be. Listen to her. Learn from her. Go out with her to the Beethoven concert tomorrow night. Spend time with her, and make every moment count. Let her know how much she's meant to you in your life. Let her know she's made a difference."
Jo nodded, and as she mulled Mrs. Garrett's words over in her mind over the next few long moments, she realized how right she was.
"How long is Gail gonna be here before…?" she asked, allowing the sentence to trail.
"She'll be going into the hospital this coming Friday, that is after she finishes up her last day here at Eastland."
Again, Jo nodded, and then she asked, "How's Gail doin' now? I know she almost collapsed earlier."
"The brain tumor sometimes causes problems with her balance and equilibrium," Mrs. Garrett explained. "Mr. Bradley told her that it was alright if she wanted to just go home and take it easy this next week; that she didn't have to worry about coming in to work if she didn't want to, but as you already know, she's as stubborn as you are," Mrs. Garrett quipped, which caused Jo to laugh a bit. "I stayed with Gail and Mr. Bradley for a little while after she lost her balance. She kept claiming she was alright, but Mr. Bradley drove her home just to be safe."
"Yeah, I noticed that she hasn't driven herself to school in weeks. She keeps takin' cabs or carpooling with other teachers," Jo noted.
"It's because of the tumor. Gail doesn't want to take any chances of anything happening behind the wheel, understandably."
"Who all knows about this? I'm guessing Gail probably doesn't want all of her students to know."
"You're right; she doesn't. If Gail had her way, none of us would know. After she was diagnosed, she only told Mr. Bradley at first for obvious reasons. She needed to let him know what was going on and why she would eventually be leaving Eastland. She didn't think it was necessary for anybody else to know, but you know Mr. Bradley."
Jo chuckled and said, "Yeah, when it comes to keepin' stuff in, he can be almost as bad as Natalie and Tootie."
"He ended up letting it slip to one of the teachers, and now several other teachers know, and I found out three weeks ago."
"You know you don't have to worry about me, Mrs. G. I know how to keep a secret."
"I know you do."
After a pause, Jo told Mrs. Garrett, "I've got a big history exam on Monday. I should probably go upstairs and start studying."
Mrs. Garrett nodded and patted Jo's upper arms, and then Jo turned around and left.
Once Jo had walked out of the lounge, Mrs. Garrett picked up Blair's draft, sat down on the loveseat, and started reading.
