Thank you to all who read and/or reviewed
How I Spent My Summer
Letter 2
Hey Spence,
So I dreamed about you last night. We were at the beach in our spot under the pier. It was getting close to sunset and the sky was this mix of pinks, purples, blues and golds. I was lying back in the sand with you cradled against my chest. My arms were wrapped around you and you were snuggling into my body. It was so real I could smell the raspberry scent of your shampoo. You looked up at me, smiled and then kissed me softly on the lips. That's when I woke up.
I woke up with the hugest smile and then as soon as I was fully awake I realized that you weren't lying in my arms and I cried. I wanted so badly to go back to sleep and stay in that dream so I didn't have to face reality. I hate the way things are between us Spence, and I hate the fact that it's all my fault. I really and truly am such a screw up!
After my dream I couldn't get back to sleep so I just sat out on the balcony of the hotel room and looked out over a sleeping London. It was kind of cool to sit there and watch as the city came to life. I really think you'd like it over here (well from the little that I've seen anyway).
While I was sitting out on the balcony feeling sorry for myself my Mom actually came out and asked me if I was ok. I know, huge shock right? Who knew that woman ever noticed anyone other than herself or her man of the hour? She even brought me out a coffee and a danish, I really think it's a sign of the coming apocalypse, I'm just waiting for the Hellmouth to open now, Buffy should be showing up any minute now.
I know what you would say if you were here with me. I can hear your voice like you're right here next to me. You'd tell me that families are precious and that I should give her a chance. You'd tell me to not be so cynical and that sometimes people surprise you. You'd tell me to give her a chance and that maybe she actually wants to make it all up to me. You'd say that for better or worse she is my mother and that I owe her the benefit of the doubt. You'd say all that with an adorable head tilt and that soft, secret smile that I know is reserved only for me and I would roll my eyes but ultimately agree with you because I can't resist that head tilt and smile combo, as you well know.
I remember all too well the first time I was graced with the Spencer Carlin patented head tilt. It was the day we met when I came and found you in the gym. I remember that morning when you tried to ask me for help and I got all bitchy and nasty and blew you off, which was business as usual for me at King High, but there was something about you that made me actually start to feel bad about it during the day. I couldn't for the life of me stop thinking about you. By the time school was over I felt this urge to find you and try to get to know you. Ok I'll admit it I thought you were hot, but it was more than that. Spencer I couldn't get you off my mind that whole day, or any day since to be honest. So anyway back to the first of many Spencer Carlin head tilts that have been thrown my way.
I wandered into the gym because I'd listened to the rumors about the new girl and heard you were a cheerleader (which by the way almost made me stay away, but I just couldn't it was like gravity) so I thought the gym was a good place to look for you. It must have been fate because there you were sitting with your notebook on your lap actually doing homework. I strutted over to you and made some smart assed comment asking you whether you were a basketball fan or just liked watching guys pat each other on the ass. You looked up at me with the most gorgeous smile I had ever seen. I sat down and you rather sassily asked me if I was on meds while throwing in that head tilt of yours. I was a total goner! Here you were the most beautiful girl I had ever (and will ever) seen, who has the most incredible blue eyes in existence and not only were you capable of stringing a sentence together but you were also sassy. A cheerleader with a brain and a mind of her own. I was immediately hooked. I knew in that moment that I had to have you in my life.
I guess I fucked that up didn't I?
So anyway after breakfast this morning my Mom took me on a shopping extravaganza where we spent more money that an entire semester of college at UCLA would cost. My Mom went psycho and brought like 57 pairs of shoes, it was scary. The poor driver (who I think wanted to cry at how 'American' my Mom was) had to call for another car to come and pick up all the shit my mother splurged on during our little expedition. I really have to wonder how she plans to get all this stuff back to L.A.
After shopping my Mom took me out for this really nice dinner where she had an actual conversation with me, shock horror she even remembered that I had a girlfriend and asked about you (she did think your name was Stacey though, I guess you gotta give her points for getting the first letter and a vowel right). I didn't really tell her too much about what's going on with us. I guess I'm still ashamed of how I left you and I'm still not sure where you and I are at the moment.
Well my lovely it's late and I need to get some sleep.
Please know that I'm thinking of you Spence.
Love Always,
Ashley
xoxox
