Human's Ruin .
Cassie didn't eat while staring blankly at the front door .
Kamaria ate a tiny bite , cried and repeated those actions on a loop of anguish .
Leo only ate when his sister was and vice versa with the majority of the time passing slowly .
He held up a forkful of cut tomato and bright yellow cooked egg yolk mushed together and tried to place the blob inside his mouth .
His arms were as uncooperative as many of his body parts that day .
For some reason , his eyes worked normally but everything else was off .
His heart had stopped making funny drum sounds and he had no clue where his brain was .
There were five chairs around the kitchen table and only three were used for sitting anymore .
Cassie forced her body into motion and filled a plate with the eggs , bacon and wors , grilled tomatoes , mushrooms and toast .
She poured the coffee and tea , landed the dishes onto a big tray and walked sightless and mind blank , into her sons bedroom .
The bundle wadded into depths of blankets keeping him invisible stayed still and his mother groaned lightly , sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed - what she guessed and hoped - his back and shoulders .
" Love , I brought your brekkie . And I'll make whatever else you want to eat , if you'll get out of the bed . "
The hidden form shifted but did not reveal itself when he responded .
" Has Dad came home yet ? "
" You know that he isn't - "
" Then I'm staying here until he's back home . "
Cassie breathed , remembering how to during upset and imitating calm over the chaos , left his meal that like the rest would be ignored and uneaten by her firstborn child .
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Leo nervously gnawed on the end of his tie , watching the saliva plummet onto the knees of his dark dress pants when he wasn't solemnly staring out the window of the black car that had drove them to this strange , silent and depressing location .
He frowned at the weird looking stone squares protruding from the clipped short lawn , his brother's everlasting sulking and his mother and sister's expressions of defeat and total gloom .
Wrestlers that they knew by way of Dad , friends and neighbors spoke to him , hugged him and smiled tearfully at his deafness , blind eyes and his body that had numbed to the sensation of touch .
Everyone wore black and other dark colored clothes and he hated them for it .
His brother , he soon learned was the angriest , hissing curses and pushing icily and bitter through the crowd .
Paul junior ripped the tie from his throat , stomped on it once the cloth touched the ground and shed his sport coat , dress shoes and light grey socks before climbing into a tree .
He ascended to the top , rested on the thickest limb and glared at the people below .
" I'm sorry for his misbehavior . " the remaining living parent looked hopelessly at Steve , who patted her back immediately .
" Don't fret or apologize , Cass . He has to get the pain off his chest . Hell , the entire community will be dealing with their stress and heartache in various ways from the tragedy . "
Leo had deduced by this time why his Vader was nowhere to be seen and what the ' tragedy ' precisely was .
Dad was with other women again , typical .
He'd return home and like always , Mom would yell at him and argue with him . They'd fuss and squabble back and forth , Mom would cry and Dad would apologize . She'd forgive her spouse as she did each time and Leo would lose sleep while his parents made the sounds that meant they were creating more babies for their household .
Dad's messing around explained Mom's distraught facial features , her in despair expression and the gallons of shed tears .
Now why Kams was endlessly wailing was another complex puzzle to solve .
That and his own nausea , sorrow and terror nestled and suffocating his insides .
' Uncle ' Tornado and some other male wrestlers he recognized all looked the same behind the blur from tears , dark clothes worn and furrowed brows as they somberly toted the long , funny looking wooden box that resembled a chocolate bar made out of a tree trunk .
Mom was shaking and crying and he wanted to make her feel cheerful again which was impossible because now he no longer could find joy anywhere , especially while staring at that long box - thing .
" Dad , don't leave ! Go home and stay with us ! " Kamaria wept , squatting beside the rectangular deep hole .
Leo frowned and pondered why his sister was crying and calling the tree trunk candy bar their Vader .
She had to have been discombobulated from the same stab wound torn into his heart , the one that had made him lose his mind .
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
PJ lingered in bed , vacating only when his brother wasn't in their shared bedroom .
He squinted out the window and saw his siblings in the garden , throwing seeds around for the birds ( although the monkeys would take the majority of them ) and Mom's safari vehicle gone from the front .
The young man slumped into the desk chair , nearly bruised his features when crashing his face onto the scratched , lightly dust coated wooden surface and he wasn't crying because the tears hadn't stopped in the first place .
He had crusted bits and slimy strings in the corners of his eyes , matted hair and clothes growing on him as cotton blend fungus glued by days of dried sweat and he didn't care .
Screaming out loud at last the storm of grief that had been soft spoken until that second , he yanked open his closet door roughly , breaking the knob loose .
The medium size , meant to be used for a jewelry box clonked him on the head with its peeling , faded fake velvet texture covering .
The eighteen year old cursed and snarled , rubbed his bumped noggin and opened the fallen container .
His future was inside it , assorted papers and ID cards and his passport .
Paul junior groaned a tad , instantly dizzy . His brother had one also , from their Dad's preparation so that they could have their wrestling careers around the world .
" And be the greatest tag team of all time . " he said , shaking and weeping .
He sat and gave his desk globe on the fingerprint spotted stand a hateful glare .
Things changed , time and people alike .
When was his time ? Where could he find it ?
" I - " PJ coughed when the tears gagged him . " won't know until I look for it . " he muttered , slithering back under the covers at the sounds of the front door opening .
He listened in to his siblings chatter before spitting curse words and insulting comments at his own laziness and cowardice , then didn't look back at the bed as he escaped through the little home's added on side door , running through the grass to the turnbuckles and ropes and apron , his security and sanctuary .
It was an easy thing to sleep in the sunshine and fresh air , dreaming of shark teeth and cumulus clouds before the interference of his living parent awaking him from unconscious bliss frustrated him .
" It's lunchtime , dear . " Cassie at her short height could barely see above the ring apron , even when she stood perched on the steps .
" Who says that I want any ? ! "
" I say , that you should stop being hateful and impolite ! "
" I'm ... sorry . "
" And there's news ! "
" Unless it's good , I don't care to hear it . "
" It's very good ! "
PJ's heart anticipated the happy reunion . He was surviving and outlasting a nightmare , worst of the worst and the damn thing . Very soon he'd slip out of the ring , head back into his residence and there would stand his Vader , laughing and smiling and back with his family , rejoicing .
" There's going to be a special wrestling event to take place and raise money for our family . "
" Yeah ? And ? "
" It would be nice to see you participate , particularly in an event to pay tribute to the memory of your father . "
" Memory ? ! Meaning something to remember him by ? ! I'm the only one who hasn't forgotten him ! " Paul junior's voice cracked , raised and rumbled .
" I understand you are using anger to mourn but I'm not tolerating anymore of your attitude problem ! You aren't the only person who has lost a loved one , not the only one from our family who misses your father ! " his mother barked back , face red and overheated as a steamed lobster .
" Yeah but were you there when he was killed ? ! I was with him when he died and I had his blood on me ! "
Cassie seemed to shrink , to wilt and blow away with dust in a fast wind .
" I can't ... I don't know what to say or do anymore - "
" Then I'll tell you what you may do for me , Mom . Go away . Leave me alone and go away . That's what I need . This ring and nothing , nobody else . "
PJ continued to no longer care and coldly turned from his mother , leaving Cassie to sob quietly and pace in tears , returning home .
He unrolled the crinkled paper bag and faintly smiled at the contents .
She'd brought him chicken wings and fish bites , a fruit salad and a Greek one with extra olives and cheese and mini tarts with fruit or nut fillings .
An act of kindness and unselfishness had him blushing and feeling guilt that rarely ever hit him .
The young man reminded himself to thank her for caring , plus the added goodies and now left with privacy besides the onlooking animals , he laughed weakly while he popped the lid from the water bottle , chugging .
A packed lunch , as if he were a child once more .
Which , he mused as he ate , wouldn't be horrible because Dad would be alive and not -
The eighteen year old made the mistake of giving in to the flashback .
He shuddered and choked , glancing up at Table Mountain and felt the blood rush to his head .
Gagging , he moved to vomit onto the ground and past the ring apron , careful to not let it get splattered with the mouthful of chewed lunch .
Now when he saw black and red streaks behind his eyelids closed , they were mixed with silver stars and gold bursts of fireworks and sparklers .
His eardrums popped from the sound of the ocean and memories of faraway , lingering screams .
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
" What's with the clothes mountain ? " Leo eyed the mound of skirts , blouses , dresses , shirts and pants piled on his sister's bed and dresser , falling off onto the floor .
" I cannot decide what to wear ! " Kamaria wailed , effect enough to get her brother to shrink from her teenage created noise pollution .
" To go shopping ? ! This is such nonsense ! "
" It isn't ! I want to look lovely ! "
" Well , you already do . " the young man stated and shifted his gaze to the hallway decor so to not see his sister's adoring , thankful look or heating bright pink cheekbones . " I'll use the time wisely waiting for you to pick an outfit and check up on our brother before we head out . "
" Is he going with us ? "
" I'm not sure ... I'll ask him when I find him . But just because we'll talk for a few minutes doesn't mean that's your excuse to dawdle , okay ? "
" Oooohhh , no ! I'll hurry up . "
" I'm taking Kams to Woolworth's and whatever other stores she picks to shop at . Do you want to go with us ? "
" Join you for shopping ? ! No thanks ! "
There were papers and crumbs from a demolished chicken King Pie value meal , along with the emptied can of cola soft drink and bottled water near his brother's feet .
" Oooohhh , very good ! You're eating again ! "
" Yeah , I'm eating ! I'm a grown man and not a baby ! "
" I never said - I'm just happy to see that you're not starving yourself and maybe feeling a little better , okay ? "
Paul junior sighed and rolled onto his back , struggled into a halfway sitting position and barely smiled .
" Thank you , my brother . I'm not upset with you at all , only tired and I prefer to be alone . "
" Yes . I ... understand . "
He knew precisely the misery his siblings and parent felt , wanting to dig into the ground and hide .
Hide forever , away from the world and cry .
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
" Oh , these are beautiful ! " Kamaria ogled the fancy footwear collection loaded onto several display shelves .
Leo grimaced at the faux bejeweled sandals , the denim - look sneakers and the high heels with ribbon ties , sighed and readjusted the stores bag handles digging into his wrists .
" You've spent five hundred Rands already . " he groaned .
" Yes but that included sales tax . " Kamaria argued her point .
" You'll either have to call it quits for now or we can skip eating . " Leo commented dryly and his belly bickered , getting Kams to pause massaging the shoes textures and decorations .
" I wouldn't let you starve . " his sister promised , lifted her chin and beamed before taking lead to Steers . " Or have anything awful happen to you . "
Leo smiled , laughing just a little and followed , the protector and the protected .
He paid for a cheeseburger , ribs and chips , two bottled waters and a chocolate dipped cone for himself and a lime milkshake , chicken and chips and a bottle of water for his sister , along with a green salad apiece .
" I like this . It's fun and nice and we should do this every week . " Kamaria blurted after they'd found places to sit .
" Shopping ? Kams , we wouldn't have any money left ! " Leo replied , half serious . She could mow down her allowance in no time weekly , many times spent his before he caught on and stopped her .
" No , dating . "
" Kammy , we are not dating ! Brothers and sisters don't do things like that ... because it's wrong . Now , if I was with my girlfriend , that's different . Then it would be okay and acceptable . "
" You don't have a girlfriend . "
" Actually I do . "
" Then where is she ? " Kamaria scoffed , challenging him . " Invisible ? ! "
" No , I just haven't introduced her to my family yet . Dad never got to meet her - " Leo exhaled with anguish once his female sibling's eyes began to water and he had a sudden smack of heartburn that he couldn't blame the fast food grease on . " But you'll get to , today when we go and visit ... "
" No ! " his little sister screamed . Heads turned and shoppers gawked .
" Kams , calm down ! "
" Never ! You're insensitive and you hate me ! "
Passersby were whispering and pointing and the young , tall for his age man sunk in his seat while his female sibling wailed and grimaced .
Leo had a sudden odd thought , what his sister was feeling was similar to the emotions a woman felt when her husband betrayed her by being with what many wrestlers called , a ' ring rat ' .
" Kams , I do care about you and love you with my entire heart but only as my sister and best friend . I'm your brother ! We aren't a boyfriend and girlfriend couple , dating and in love ! "
She glowered and threw her beverage cup at him , missing by luck of terrible aim from hitting him with melting ice cubes .
Leo wiped the sticky puddle with a cluster of napkins , sighed and offered a dry hand .
" Come along , it's time now to head home . "
Kamaria's bitter silence and volcanic scowling on the return trip to their house altered tremendously and in hormone terrifying ways , her hot and cold attitude taken over by the bewilderment produced by puberty .
She stood on the top front step , looking down at her big brother and purred at him .
" If I was older , would things be different ? Would you like me then ? "
She captured his neck and reeled him in close , for more than a happy little sister's hug as he noted out of the corner of his left eye .
He wriggled to escape from her embracing clutches right before she was able to drop the kiss upon his mouth .
O hel ! Kak ! The nearly grown man took off in a rush , departing and retreating from the pouting younger female left standing on the doorstep .
That was the grand prize winner reason he had to get away , otherwise Dameon could effortlessly take advantage of Kamaria's topsy turvy and chaotic , confused adolescent emotions .
And Leok would fight to stop him , would battle to protect her from a downfall made from the whirlwind of false romance .
He had to move on .
But couldn't bear to imagine how they'd feel about his betrayal . He was the oldest , the man in charge now and he felt that he'd miss his family as much if not more than they would without him at home .
Bounding into the driver's seat of his precious , unwashed Jeep , he fumbled with the small silver crescent moon and tiny dangling Africa continent pendant key chain before buckling in for the drive .
He parked a small distance from the waterfront , looked for the street performers specifically and once he saw Dyshiki , he grinned and waved .
She paused her dance and spoke quietly to her parents before beaming and racing into his arms .
" Have I ruined your day , my love ? "
" No and not interrupted it either , since we were finishing for today , darling man . "
" Yes , I am yours and you'll be my bride , I hope . "
" Aaaahhh , you know that I will agree ! "
The pair sat at an umbrella topped table on the patio deck of the closest restaurant and watched the boats docking and bringing in their catch .
" Except - "
" There is a problem ? "
" Dyshiki , you're the only woman I want as my wife and for us to marry , share our lives together and have a family but I think that I shouldn't leave home although I'm old enough . Without my Dad , my mother and siblings need me with them , mainly my younger sister and until they can live happily without me , I can't abandon them . "
His girlfriend nodded , her expression sad and supportive and he was thankful she didn't mention his father's passing or try to cheer him up .
" Ja , ek verstaan my liefde . I'll wait for you as long as it takes . "
" And I'll wait for you forever . If we're apart , I'll return to you , Ek sweer jy . "
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Ek is lief vir jou . Afskeid .
Paul junior wrote after the pause and the words born from pencil tip were for his family , his girlfriend , for the young man he was then saying goodbye to himself and morphing towards ... something new .
Glancing at his wrists , bare of animal fur , he grinned .
A Changed man , out the door with his small bundle of luggage stuffed with necessities .
The night was quite dark and he saw right through it .
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
" Would you like to join me on my outing to Boulders ? I'm tagging and numbering the penguins before they're rounded up and sent to the sanctuary . " Cassie asked , rinsing out the kitchen sink .
Leo shook open a fresh garbage bag and stuffed it into the bin . " I'll go . "
" Me too ! I'll wear my new sandals . " Kamaria chirped as she wiped the dining table top to shiny clean and smiling genuinely for the first time in what seemed like centuries .
" And where is your brother ? ! He'll attend or stay here and finally help with the chores instead of feeling sorry for himself in that damned wrestling ring every day ! " Cassie snapped and her children automatically frowned , Leo crimsoning and Kamaria casting her eyes downward at their mother's shocking outburst of using foul language .
" Well - he went out but he's usually back by now ... " the older boy replied nervously . He hadn't seen his brother once so far that day and was scared to admit it to his mother .
" Is he still in bed ? ! I'll drag him out by the scruff ! " the short , round bodied woman promised , stomping into her two sons shared room .
Kamaria gasped sharply at the sound of her mother's cry , too concerned to ask her curly haired brother what a scruff was .
" Wat de hel ? ! " Leo wondered out loud and trotted to his parent's trembling side .
She was holding an unfolded piece of paper which he skimmed quickly the message jotted down and penciled letters smudged from tears rolling over them .
" What is this ' Goodbye ' ? ! He's gone to end his life ! "
" Mom , no ! Look there , he took his backpack and his suitcase is missing . It's running away from home and his problems , I'd bet and not committing suicide . "
" But ... where did he run to ? ! "
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Home that wasn't and the London Eye resembled the Cape Wheel so well that his imaginative brain liked being tricked .
In the fog and anti - picnic weather , he strolled , tourist with his own tragedy .
He blanked his girlfriend Gabrielle from his thoughts , a tiny fleck of guilt in his mind for leaving her without saying goodbye or merely giving her his reasons to flee from the torment in his heart .
She'd forget him , she'd move on and that was best , safest , smartest . Not every woman could be as tolerant as Mom , a human who had no prejudice against loving a shape shifting human and bearing half - wolf offspring .
A drencher overhead soaked him with its cold shower and the overcast sky was an equivalent to his dismal mood .
" Gabrielle . Don't forgive me , just forget me . " Paul junior sighed softly and walked through the flood from the sky . " Find yourself a lover who will not wander . "
He walked on , without an umbrella , drowning alive and standing .
Alive and kicking .
An Afrikaner ' Weerwolf ' in London .
