Chapter 7:
2015
Christian walked into the garden holding a basket. He sees Ana weeding and clears his throat. She gasps and turns around. "I didn't mean to scare you." He says, apologising. He holds up the basket. "Picnic?" She gives him a small smile and nods. They walk to the side of the house and sit on the bank looking over the lake. After unpacking and setting up the food Ana finally speaks.
"What is this actually for?" Christian puts down his sandwich and looks at her.
"For yesterday. I'm sorry. I crossed the line with trying to kiss you. I shouldn't have done it and I apologise." She widens her eyes. She didn't expect a full blown apology like that, but she was grateful for it. She smiled and shrugged.
"It's fine. Thank you for apologising." He nods. Then he sighs.
"Ana. Please answer this question truthfully." She nods, warily. "Have you forgiven me?" She looks up at him and stays quiet. "Well?" She remains silent and he huffs. "Look Ana come one-"
"-No I haven't." He looks up at her and sees tears in her eyes.
"What? Why?" She breathes out heavily.
"I've tried. God knows I've tried. But every time I think about that day, when I stood for an hour waiting for you to come back and tell me you didn't mean it, it breaks my heart just that little bit more." She roughly wipes away her tears.
"I'm sorry Ana-"
"-Stop saying sorry! I don't want you to say sorry! I want you to say you were wrong! That you shouldn't have left me. That I shouldn't have had to try and see you once a week for two months, and then once a month for two years. Tell me that, and I'll try to forgive you." He looks down and sighs.
"I shouldn't have told you to leave. I thought I was doing the right thing by not seeing you."
"That was not your decision to make! If I wanted to waste my time waiting for you you should have let me. I waited for you to see me for so long. Every time I would go and have to deal with the officers walking up to me with so much pity in their eyes when they said you refused to see me. How do you think that made me feel Christian, were your actions worth that." She snaps, sitting up straight.
"Ana, you have to understand that I was and will never be good enough for you. You deserved so much better than waiting for your murderer of a boyfriend for eight years. It wasn't fair on you." She groans and pulls at her hair.
"God you are so exasperating! You were good for me! You were the best for me! No one was ever as good as you Christian! Not even my fucking husband was as good as you. When will you understand that you are one of the best men I ever knew? If anything, I wasn't good enough for you." He sits up and remains silent. "This is ridiculous. Why did I come here? I knew this was a bad idea." She gets up and he stands, grabbing her arm.
"Ana don't go I- God I don't know what to do! I want you to forgive me I want you to know how disgusted with myself I feel! How much pain I'm in over this." She shakes her head.
"I have enough pain of my own to deal with thank you. Pain that you caused me." He stands and looks at her, really looks at her, so much so that she has to look away.
"Ana. You need to understand me. I didn't have a future, you needed to focus on yours-"
"-You were my future Christian! I would have gone anywhere, don't anything for you just so that we could be together, you knew that!" She can feel the emotion rising in her chest, all these feelings that she hasn't let out since the day he left her. Everything she had kept in her was building and she wasn't sure how long she could last until she exploded. She decided in that moment to look up, with visible tears in her eyes. "I want to make you feel the pain you put me in. I want to scream at you, hit you, curse you until you feel what I have felt everyday for twenty years." She says, in a calm voice, as she tries to keep it together. He nods.
"Ana please-"
"-You want to know why I can't forgive you?" She cuts in. He nods and looks up at her. "I can't forgive you, because I am still in love with you. After all these years all I've wanted to do is tell you how much I love you." She turns and walks quickly back to the house and leaves Christian standing with his jaw hanging open. He gets up after a few seconds and runs after her. He sees her in the kitchen crying.
"Ana." She turns around.
"What." She snaps. He walks forward.
"You can't just- You shouldn't have-" His voice fades and she takes another step forward.
"What? What?" She says, still sounding angry.
"You can't-" His voice fades again and they stand, staring at each other for a couple of seconds. Christian grabs her face and presses his lips onto hers. It doesn't take long for her to respond. Soon her fingers are running through his copper hair and he moves her to the island, picking her up and sitting her down on it. Ana presses her body against his and she can feel his erection digging into her, she breaks the kiss and holds his face.
"Bedroom." She whispers, he nods and picks her up again, carrying her up the stairs and into his old bedroom. He lays her down on the bed and she sits up from underneath him and takes off her tshirt, he lifts the hem of his and takes it off. She runs her fingers down his torso and brings her to him, kissing him again. They both take off their jeans and underwear until they're both lying naked, kissing each other lustfully. Her legs part underneath him and he breaks the kiss.
"Wait. Your husband." He says breathlessly. She shakes her head.
"I'm divorced." A huge grin spreads on his face and he kisses her again, this time slower, as he pushes himself into her gently. She moans and he continues thrusting into her slowly, as he holds her face and kisses her. Christian then found himself clutching the bedpost and she was unaware that her fingers were gripping the sheets. Soon they found each other's hands and he held them above Ana's head, placing kisses all over her body, as they continued moving together, like they never had before. Christian had never felt so much pleasure from being with Ana, and he didn't know whether it was because they were both older, they hadn't seen each other in years, or that she just told him she loved him, but he knew he would savour the feeling of being inside of her as she started whimpering. She clung onto him as she started shaking and moaning, with him following shortly after. They lay for god knows how long, their foreheads pressed together, breathing heavily and looking into each other's eyes.
Christian woke up before Ana did, and seeing her laying asleep, naked, with her arms wrapped around him made him feel elated. He never wanted to leave this place, and he hoped she didn't want to either. He loved her, he had never stopped and she told him she felt the same. He smiles as he gently gets out of bed, slipping on some jeans and a tshirt and walking downstairs and outside on the porch. He remembered the dinner they had and sat down on Sawyers chair. He missed Sawyer, he missed Agatha, and it was at this point that he felt around in his pocket and sure enough, Sawyers' letter was still there. He opened it with difficulty, as it was slightly crumpled, and started reading it.
Dear Christian,
By the time you're reading this I'll be long gone, unless there's been some terrible mistake and in that case put this down you're not supposed to be reading it yet. If it is the right time then I hope life has served you well over these years, despite what others said and what you yourself thought, I always knew you were a good kid. You're not a kid now obviously and I know you're probably having a hard time being in the same house as Ana, and I hope that you find yourselves getting closer. I doubt she told you about the divorce but if she has then I would take that as a good sign. She still loves you Christian, she always has. I know this may sound a little out there right now but, you two were made for each other. You will be together, and I know as a smart boy you probably worked out why I got you two here. You and Ana are like me and Agatha, we were different in the mind but joined in soul. She was my soulmate, and I hope to see her again within the next few months. My time has come, and so has yours. So tell that girl you love her quick because although she seems changed and strong, she's still that eighteen year old girl, sitting and waiting for you at the station. And she's still waiting. So be the man I know you are and stop making her wait, be with her, and tell that ex husband of hers to get lost. You're meant to be together, and I will haunt you if you don't tell her how you feel.
Your pretend papa,
Sawyer
By the time Christian reads it all he is in tears. He wipes them away and breathes out heavily. He hears a noise and turns to see Ana in his short standing in the doorway. "Are you ok?" He folds up the letter and puts it back in the envelope.
"Be careful when you read yours. It's a humdinger." He says. She smiles sadly and walks forward. He notices something in her hands and he looks at it. "What you got there?" He pulls out the chair next to him and she sits down, holding the piece of paper to her chest.
"You know that drawing I did of you?" He nods. "Well I hid it down the side of your bed but I guess you never found it because-" She stops herself. "Anyway, I found it and it was still there so here it is." She shows it to him and he gasps. The drawing shows Christian's face turned slightly to the side. He hadn't seen a drawing like it, it looked so much like him it was as though he were looking at a photograph of him as a teenager.
"Ana, this is amazing. I hope you still draw." She shrugs.
"I kind of lost it after a while. Jose told me it was a waste of time." He nods and they sit in silence.
"Ana." She looks up at him. "What just happened. What was that?" She sighs and hugs her knees to her chest.
"I don't know. I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier, I know you were just trying to protect me. Honestly, when those officers said that you didn't want to see me I thought that was you telling me you didn't love me anymore. Now I feel like an idiot for getting on with my life and moving on. I mean Jose, he was so nice to me, but he wasn't you. He would do things and I would think what if you were here, would you do things differently. I don't know, I'm sorry Christian." He leans over and takes her hand, running his thumb over her knuckles.
"As long as you're with me now, I don't care." She smiled weakly as he leaned forward and kissed her forehead.
A/N - Hi guys! Sorry it's been so long, I've been super busy. People keep asking me how Agatha died as well as Christian's dad and I wrote it so that they were standing one behind the other and the bullet went through Christian's father and into Agatha. I don't know if that could actually happen but hey, it's a story, anything is possible haha. I hope you enjoy this update, and thank you to those who are waiting patiently for my next updates:)
Sophie x
