BPOV
After Jake and I watched movies and a few television shows, Charlie walked in around 6 o'clock with 2 boxes of pizza; one doubtfully for just Jake.
"Hey you two… I got dinner. Come in and help me set it up?" he asked as we was walking into the kitchen.
The pizza was pretty good. "Dad, where did you go to get the pizza?" Surely it wasn't in Forks; I couldn't recognize the box.
"Umm, Port Angeles," he looked at me confused of why I asked. The realization hit his eyes. It must have been the way I dropped the pizza and was looking down trying to catch my breath. No one said anything after that; I didn't pick up my pizza after that, either.
I cleaned up my things and Jakes. I straightened out the living room and made my way upstairs with Jake not far behind.
"Night Charlie," Jake said.
"Night Jacob," Charlie said while whispering something to him.
As they conversed in their conversation I took a look at my book collection. Of course they would be all romantic of such a time when he was around and shadowed the way he spoke. Instead of getting more disturbed with myself and noticing how much I have not done in a while, such as make my way to a bookstore… I checked my email for any news from the other parent.
It turned out that Phil won 3 games in the past month and was keeping up with the rankings. She was starting to do a large spring cleaning and thought if she should redo the living room.
I quickly replied with more of a slouchy response. A few sentences of how school was and me as well; of course I lied about how I was more than fine now. What is wrong with me?
Jake came in to see me staring at the black screen of the now sleeping monitor. He put both his hands on my shoulders.
"Bella, are you okay?" he really sounded worry.
I nodded. Without looking at him I got up and went to the bathroom. There I wept in the shower and dressed myself in pajamas. My eyes couldn't produce that many tears anymore. They were worn out, just like my heart…
As I climbed into bed and just laid there numb, I just looked at the wall ahead of me.
"Hey, I'm going to run for an hour or so. Can you keep from getting killed?" Jake asked.
I managed to give him a sour look, "More faith please?"
"Okay Bella," he chuckled. "Are you okay? I mean what he said down there during dinner seemed to hurt you a lot…"
I nodded, "Just hit a little more than usual. I will be fine soon as I get some sleep. Come back soon, okay?"
He smiled and nodded as he went to jump out the window. My room went dark and really quiet without Jake here. From these few nights of him being here, I have gotten used to him living here and I liked the feeling of it. It was like having a big brother that I never had and never will have. But he is no Emmett… A tear fell down my cheek and I whimpered and sunk deeper into the covers…
I felt a warm arm pull me onto my cold pillow and drag the covers over my body. As soon as it was done clawing me to my rightful position I followed that arm to the edge of my pillow against a warm body and fell back asleep once again.
The sun shining in my window was welcoming and beckoning me to open my eyes. As I did, Jakes snoring ripped through the peaceful moment and disturbed my moments of peace. It was freezing at this point and snuggled close to Jakes body which woke him a bit; his breathing paused then didn't pick up as heavy.
"Morning…"He said muffled by sleep.
I chuckled, "Morning Jake."
He was more awake now. "You seem better since last night…"
"Yeah, told you the sleep would help," I told him.
"Last night was odd. Sam just said they were running around catching a scent. They ran all the way to Canada last night. I stayed here. He wants me to go with him for a day or so…" He looked at me.
"Okay, I could take it. Be safe though. Come back… Alive!" I tried to look stern.
"Of course, because I got to protect you," he looked down at me.
"I am not that small and helpless… Okay, maybe just a little," I chuckled.
"Well then I need to go. Are you sure you are going to be okay?" he asked again.
"Even if I wasn't, Sam is in order so I wouldn't have reign over you like the alpha does."
"Well if you don't feel safe here… go to Emily's. You are always welcome she said."
I nodded. We both got up and I hugged him before he jumped ran down the stairs this time, due to the time of day.
Something came to mind. What was I going to do with a big empty day in front of me without Jake? The house was to quiet. It was a symbol of his voice. Forgotten, silenced and long forgotten. I need to hear it again. People say that Love hurts, but that's not true; its only if you had experienced and now experiencing the hardships. Loneliness hurts, not love. Rejection hurts, not love. Losing someone hurts, not love. Everyone confuses things with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that we all convey in some way to cover up the pain and make us feel wonderful again. But I didn't have love. I was going to find that long lost love's voice.
I need a place to think where danger might be. I might even read a book there. I dressed in good hiking clothes, threw on some sneakers and a grabbed my rain coat. The sun can't outshine the rain for long.
Before I knew it, I was walking through the last of the trees. I bet the reason it took me so fast was the fact that I needed to hear it. It's been to long.
I finally reached it. The sun covered it, it was the ocean of light that kept the circle alive. It made everything bright, full, growing. I looked as I saw the same colored flowers as before… It looked the same as ever. I thought it would be different then before because he wasn't here. I was confused. My heart wasn't the same, my soul, my whole being, my life, even Charlie wasn't the same without him here. But the meadow was.
As I was looking at the grass the whole time with the budding flowers, I closed my eyes. I took a few steps forward and sat where I was. I held my book close to my chest and let a few tears spill over. I wanted to just breakdown here. This was a place of emotion and now I was grateful it was here for all the flowers to hear me, the grass, trees, the sun.
I stood up after an hour of tears and opened my eyes, I turned around.
Not a mirage… I thought my eyes were closed but they were wide open. My mind was playing tricks then? I have waited so long… and now… he was here. I blinked a few times. Could this be true?
I heard it then. It was beautiful. It was pure and just magical. Like it has always been, just amazing and set my thoughts in a whirlwind and I tried to keep my balance. His voice…
"Bella," Edward greeted me.
Edward.
