A/N: Here you are - sorry for the delay. I've had very little time to write this week, and I don't expect things to get any easier in the coming weeks, so my updating pace will unfortunately have to slow down.
I still don't own anything but any mistakes I've made.
'China says she's heard rumours that there are sorcerers who can turn into sheep, but that they've apparently always kept to themselves, and thus she doesn't really know anything else. Or even whether that is true or not.'
Skulduggery was quiet for a moment. 'Hmm.'
'It sounds a bit ridiculous, doesn't it? Why would anyone want to do that?'
Skulduggery shrugged. 'There are sorcerers who like to turn into spiders. Why not sheep?'
'True… Although at least with the Children of the Spider, I can sort of understand why they'd want that ability. It's pretty handy in a fight.' Valkyrie shuddered. She wasn't afraid of spiders, but she certainly didn't care for them – especially the kind the Children of the Spider used in fights. Or the kind the Torment could turn into.
'Maybe there are people who don't want to fight? Or to have any special abilities useful in fights?' Skulduggery sounded doubtful even as he said that. 'I know, it does sound strange – who wouldn't want to punch people, or maim them, or kill them? But I've come across people with entirely useless Adept powers before.'
'People who just want to munch on grass and say Baa?'
'As I've said before, stranger things have happened.'
Valkyrie rolled her eyes. 'I suppose people are strange. But even if we are actually dealing with sheep-people – sheeple? – then that still doesn't explain all the odd happenings. Why would they be using magic in a stone circle?'
'Some sort of sheep-people early summer ritual?'
'Now you're just making things up, aren't you?'
'Considering we don't even know for certain that sheep-people exist, well, yes. But I can't see why they shouldn't have early summer rituals. Other people do. Maybe they like to have midnight orgies in ancient places of worship, become one with the nature?'
'Eww.'
'Sorry.'
'Are you?'
'Well, not really.'
'It's just, well, I don't really want to think about sheep doing, you know, that.'
Skulduggery nodded. 'You're a modern girl, and you didn't grow up on a farm. I understand; this must all be terribly new and strange to you.'
'It is when you consider these might be people disguised as sheep.'
'Everyone needs a hobby.'
She groaned. 'Could we talk about something else?'
'Of course. We could always talk about me, and how amazing I am.'
She punched him lightly on the arm. 'I was thinking about breakfast, actually. I'm starving.'
'There should be some chocolate in the Bentley.'
'The Bentley's back at the B&B. We can just as well have breakfast there. Well, I can.'
'We should probably get back to the village then.'
'We probably should.'
'We should probably walk. At this hour, there are probably people up and about.'
'You don't sound very enthusiastic.'
Valkyrie sighed. 'I prefer flying.'
'It's a nice day. And walking's good for you.'
'It's just, well, boring.'
'Even in my company?'
'Hmm, you may have a point there. And it is a nice day, isn't it? How far from the village are we, anyway?'
'Half an hour's walk, no more. Weren't you paying attention yesterday?'
'I was distracted.'
'Ah.'
She took his gloved hand and gave it a squeeze. 'Come on then, let's get going before I collapse from hunger. Unless there's anything else you wanted to check on here.'
'I think we've got all the information possible. We do need to return later, though.'
'I don't suppose we could fix a camera or something on a tree, could we? If we keep coming back, and if the sheep are the culprits, they're not going to do anything when we're there.'
Skulduggery tilted his head. 'A camera is not a bad idea. I may have one in the Bentley, actually.'
'A camera?'
'A security camera. With all the wires and, well, other things one needs.'
'Why do you carry a security camera with you?'
He rolled the blue eyes his façade had given him this time. 'I'm a detective, and I'm very good at what I do, in case you haven't noticed. I like to be prepared.'
'Can you even install a camera?'
'I should think so. How difficult can it be?'
Valkyrie didn't think it would be too easy, but if Skulduggery said he could do it… Well, she could always point and laugh at him if he failed. Or perhaps hug him. Yes. That sounded like the better option, even if it was fun to tease him, too. A hug, and then perhaps some more kissing, and…
She sighed. It was going to be a long few months.
xXx
She felt considerably more refreshed after a quick shower, even though she'd found to her dismay that she had two dry leaves – probably hiding in the thicket since last autumn – and some grass stuck in her hair, which Skulduggery, of course, had neglected to mention. At least they hadn't met anyone on the way back, so she didn't need to feel too embarrassed.
They had breakfast in the tiny breakfast room, with a family and a middle-aged couple there before them. Skulduggery had a cup of coffee in front of him, which he pushed over to Valkyrie when she was done with her own.
'So, what's the plan?' she asked, lingering over the last bit of yoghurt. 'We drive back to the stone circle, make sure there's no one around, including the sheep – just in case – and you fix the camera to a tree? And then we leave?'
'Sounds like a good plan to me.'
'And if there are people – or sheep – around?'
'Then we drive around some more and enjoy the beautiful day. I'm sure there is something to see around here.' He paused for a moment. 'I hope so, anyway. God I hope so.'
'Afraid of getting bored?'
'Maybe we'll find someone we can punch. Break up a fight, or something.'
'Or we could just have a picnic somewhere again.'
'That we could.'
'You're not very good at this whole holiday thing, are you?'
Skulduggery smiled. She still hadn't got used to how strange that looked on him. 'I can't remember when I last had a holiday. Possibly right after the war ended. I don't think it lasted long, though; maybe a few hours. Then I got bored.'
'We should have a proper holiday somewhere. Maybe go somewhere in Europe together. Do sightseeing, play tourists, keep busy.'
'I wouldn't mind that.'
'Really?'
He gave a slight shrug. 'It's not the idea of a holiday that I mind.'
'You just need constant distraction.'
'See, you do listen to me sometimes, don't you?'
She grinned. 'Only sometimes. But I agree. This is nice, but I'm so used to, well, doing stuff all the time, that the idea of doing nothing for several days, apart from keeping an eye on a place where something may or may not be happening, is just, you know…'
'I know. Believe me, I know.'
'What do you do at home when we're not on a case and you don't have me there to distract you? Or when we're not training or you're not teaching me magic?' She kept her voice low, making sure that her words couldn't be overheard.
Skulduggery tilted his head. 'You know, I don't think you've actually ever asked me that before.'
She felt a bit guilty. 'Fletcher told me I'm selfish. Self-absorbed. I guess he had a point. I mean, I have wondered about it before, but it's usually when you're not around, and then by the time I'm with you again, we always have something else to do, and then I just forget, as it's never seemed all that important…'
'It's fine. Really. You don't need to explain. I mean, I am a little insulted that you've taken so little interest in me, considering what a fascinating person I am, but it's fine.'
She winced. 'Ouch. I guess I deserved that.'
'I'm joking.'
'You are?'
'Of course. I got over the being insulted by it thing ages ago. Months, in fact.'
'You're so silly.'
'And yet that doesn't seem to stop you from wanting to do unmentionable things with my person.'
'I must be out of my mind…'
'See, I told you that you'd come to your senses and realise that.'
'Don't get your hopes up. Just because I realise I'm out of my mind, doesn't mean I don't want to do – what was it? Unmentionable things with your person? Because I do.'
He pulled his chair a bit closer and rested his elbows on the table, leaning closer to her. 'I'm a skeleton, Valkyrie. A charming, sophisticated, suave, intelligent, witty, daring, spectacularly good-looking skeleton with an impeccable dress sense, I admit, not to mention modest, but a skeleton nonetheless. Get these clothes off me, and I'll look like – well, something you might find hanging in a cupboard in your biology classroom. You can't possibly find that appealing.'
Valkyrie wanted to reach out and touch his shoulder. 'You're not just a skeleton, you know.'
'Physically, I am.'
She hesitated for a moment, fiddling with her spoon. 'Did I… Did I ever mention that, when we were fighting the Jitter Girls, and Darquesse came out… Did I mention that she saw you? I mean that she saw your consciousness. The real you.'
'Did she? No, you didn't mention it.'
'It was all a bit foggy at the time, when she went away and left me in control again – I was confused and disoriented for a bit, and I only got the chance to sort through some of what she saw and did later. But yeah, anyway, she did. And it was…'
'Spectacular?'
She grinned. 'Yes. It was, actually. It was shimmering all around you – all around the bones, I mean – sort of like an effervescent shell. It sparkled, actually.'
'I sparkle,' Skulduggery repeated, doubt clear in his voice.
'You sparkle. Sorry, but it's true.'
'Well. I can't say I ever expected to be told that, to be honest.'
'It was very pretty.' She paused for a moment, not sure if she should continue or not. 'Darquesse likes you, you know. She finds you intriguing.'
'I'm not entirely sure I should take that as a compliment. But at least she has good taste.'
'She liked Vile, too. A lot. A bit too much, really.' She wrinkled her nose. 'But you as well.'
He looked at her. 'Don't tell me this is all because Darquesse took a fancy for me.'
'No!' She looked around, but no one was paying attention to them. 'No, it's not that. I mean, yeah, knowing that – well, that part of me finds you fascinating, that's something that's been lurking in the back of my mind for a while, but no, it's not why I'm, um, taking an interest. I just mentioned that because she saw the real you, the part that makes you you and not just a heap of old bones, and it was so beautiful. And it means I can't ever see you as just a skeleton, not even physically, because I know what's around those bones, even if I can't see it normally.'
'So you fancy me because I sparkle.'
He sounded amused, so she just grinned and shook her head. 'Yes, if that makes you convinced that I do, in fact, fancy you, then I agree. It's all because you sparkle.'
'I can't say that I'm entirely convinced yet, but adding a sparkling shell to my sparkling personality – well, yes, I suppose I can see why you'd fall head over heels for me. It's a wonder it took you so long, really.'
'What can I say? I'm a bit slow at times.'
'Yes. Yes, you are.'
'Oh, shut up.'
'You are aware that it's practically impossible to get me to shut up, yes?'
'Oh, I am. Believe me, I've noticed.' She looked around. They were the last people left in the breakfast room. 'Anyway, now that we've established why I fancy you, and now that I'm finally done with my yoghurt, we should probably leave.'
They passed the elderly landlady on their way out. She gave them a clearly disapproving look but didn't say anything.
Valkyrie sighed once they were outside. 'She probably thinks I'm after your money and that you're some sort of middle-aged pervert who takes advantage of young girls, seducing them with your fancy car and cool looks.'
'That is probably the way it would look to an outsider, yes. Does it bother you?' he asked, unlocking the Bentley's doors.
She climbed in, fastened the seat belt and shrugged. 'I can deal with it. I don't like it, and I don't like to be judged, especially when she's wrong – although I do have to say that you used to impress me when I was younger, especially with the Bentley, although I tried to make sure you wouldn't know, so maybe there's a point there somewhere – but it's none of her business anyway.'
'You do realise that this is the way most people would be viewing us, yes? Those who don't know either of us?'
'I don't care what strangers think of us. Not much, anyway.'
'And the people who do know us?'
'They'll understand. And those who won't, well, why should I care about what they think?'
'So you wouldn't want to hide our relationship? If we were to have one?'
She considered the question, while he climbed into the driver's seat and started the engine. 'China will probably know anyway – she'd only need to take one look at me and work it out. But then she said she knew it already, that it would happen one day. You and me, that is.'
Skulduggery harrumphed and manoeuvred the Bentley onto the road. 'Ghastly is not going to be happy about this.'
'I know.' Valkyrie was silent for a bit, staring out of the window. 'Are you suggesting we should keep this a secret?'
'Not unless you want to. To be honest, I don't think I'd be comfortable about flaunting it in public – there are already plenty of people whispering behind our backs about the nature of our partnership and I don't think we need to egg them on, and I prefer to keep my private life private, in any case, but I don't think we should hide it from our closest friends.'
'And you're prepared to lose Ghastly's good opinion about you?'
'He'll come around eventually. He won't approve, but he'll know that this isn't any of his business.'
'Gordon should know, too,' Valkyrie said. 'He'd find out sooner or later.'
'Agreed. Do you want to tell him or should I?'
'I can do it myself.' She sighed. 'I can't introduce you to my parents, can I.'
He slowed down to let an oncoming tractor pass. 'Not unless you feel like doing a lot of explaining, no. I hate to say this, but Fletcher did have his advantages.'
'He did.'
Skulduggery looked at her. 'Did you regret it? Breaking up with him?'
'A bit. I regret how it happened, and maybe that it happened when it did, and I regret that I hurt him so much he felt he had to leave completely, but it was never going to work in the long run. I was fond of him, he was a good friend, he was always good to me, but…'
'There's always that but, isn't there.'
'The things I couldn't tell him – the things I can't tell anyone else but you and Gordon – they're just too big. I don't think he'd have understood. At best, he'd have pretended to, maybe even tried to understand, but he would never really have got it. At worst, he'd have hated me forever.'
'He wouldn't have hated you. You cheated on him with a vampire and he still didn't hate you.'
'Yes, well… it's not really something I could have risked, telling him just to find out his reaction.'
'You told me.'
'You knew something was going on. But yeah, I'd already decided I'd tell you anyway.' She smiled, if a little bitterly. 'Who knows how things would have turned out if I hadn't found out there's a genocidal maniac hiding inside my brain.'
'You and Fletcher would have broken up anyway.'
'I know.' She sighed. 'But maybe not like that. And… If it hadn't been for Darquesse, I'd never have asked Caelan to taste my blood, and he'd never have fixated on me like that, and I wouldn't have cheated on Fletcher with him…'
'Caelan was fast becoming obsessed with you well before that. Probably already when you first asked him for help.' He put his gloved hand on her arm. 'Guilt is a powerful emotion, Valkyrie, and in this case, justified, but you have to put it past you at some point. You did some things which were less than admirable. You hurt Fletcher. You cannot undo those things now – all you can do is learn from them, and avoid doing them again.'
'Sometimes you actually sound all wise and stuff.'
'Of course I do. Wisdom comes naturally to me.'
'Wasn't this where we were supposed to turn left?'
'Oh. Yes.' Skulduggery braked, turned around and drove back. 'This was just a test, of course, to see if you were paying attention to your surroundings.'
xXx
Skulduggery stood back and admired his handiwork. Valkyrie had to admit that he certainly knew what he was doing – the camera, no bigger than her fist, was fastened securely to the tree growing closest to the stone circle, high enough that sheep wouldn't get to it. He even tied some small branches around it to hide it from sight.
'It's a good thing the sheep aren't here,' she remarked. 'If they'd been here, they'd know what we're up to.'
'Mm-hm,' he said, poking the screen of his phone with a specially altered stylus, which managed to imitate the touch of a bare finger. 'I think it needs a minor adjustment… Can you go and push the camera very slightly to the right? Five degrees, no more?'
She did so. 'Better?'
'Much better. Come and see.'
She was impressed. The camera feed was nice and clear on Skulduggery's phone. 'I've set it so that we can check on the live feed whenever we want, but it's only recording a still image every 15 seconds,' he explained. 'That should be enough to capture evidence of suspicious activity.'
'Sounds good to me. So we don't need to spend the night here again, do we?'
'You're missing that nice bed in the hotel, aren't you?'
'It was rather nice, yes. Especially compared to the tree I fell asleep next to last night.'
'When I was young, we were lucky if we got a tree to use as a pillow.'
She stepped closer, undid his top shirt button and tapped the symbols to make his façade disappear. 'I think I've found a way to make you stop saying silly things.' She grinned, and when he wrapped his arms around her, she kissed him right on his teeth.
Comments are, as always, appreciated!
