Author's Note: Hi everyone, thanks so much for reading and I appreciate the comments. I was shocked to see how many people were reading this so soon after I posted. Anyhoo, just wanted to let you know I updated the summary. I just wanted to clarify that although the backstory is mostly canon, some aspects of the past have been reinterpreted to fit the love story. It's not enough to be called AU, but liberties have been taken. So thanks again, and I hope you all continue to enjoy my doccubus fantasy. :-)
"We need to get back to talking about how we got here. About the things I've been doing or not doing that made things weird."
"Bo, you can't take all the blame. I know that most of this comes down to my insecurity issues."
"But my behavior has been feeding into it. So we both need to figure out how to avoid it in the future. When do you think we started getting out of sync?"
"It was actually my fault. I pulled away after what happened with Kenzi and the kitsune; I was so ashamed of what I did to you. As your girlfriend I should have been the one to listen to you no matter what, and I didn't believe you. Of all people, it was Tamsin who believed you, and I left you locked in a cage."
"Sweetie I forgave you. It turned out that we were both right and we were both wrong. I was right about Kenzi, but you were right that I was acting weird and your blood test proved there was something physically wrong with me. We may never have caught the devolution in time if you hadn't run those tests. And I was out of control and hysterical. You all probably would have listened to me more if I had explained my suspicions calmly and rationally, but for some reason I couldn't articulate beyond screaming, 'I just know!' Kenzi had been acting kinda detached and spacy for a while, and had said some un-Kenzi-ish things, but I knew it wasn't her when I watched her scarf down noodles with peanut sauce – which should have immediately landed her in the hospital; she's deathly allergic to peanuts. So I freaked out."
"But Bo, even without knowing that, I still should have tested Kenzi to be thorough. The fake Kenzi would have refused, but then we would have at least known something was up. Bo, I know you forgave me… but I've had a hard time forgiving myself. The memory of you looking at me from that cage and telling me you would never forgive me – it just haunted me so much I started to shut down. So there I go again with the insecurity. But after that, it's like we could never catch a break. When I found out you had to go back to Grimley, I really wanted to come with you. I wanted to share that bonding experience with you, to get to know your past, and also try to reconnect after things had been so strained. But you didn't want me to come with you, and that hurt."
"And that was one of my big clueless moments. I'm so sorry, baby! I thought about it last night and I realized you may have really wanted to go. At the time I was so angry about facing my mom I just wanted it over with so I could get back to my training. So when I told you to stay in the lab and keep working on a treatment for my devolution, I was thinking practical strategy, not emotional bonding opportunities. But then I unexpectedly made peace with my mom and my past, and on the way back I wished that you had come with me, since it had been special after all. Although I'm glad you didn't have to tangle with Lady Polly and her sickle of daytime death. But I'd like to take you back some day. Maybe if all goes well, we can go to the Cherry Festival next year?"
Lauren smiled demurely. "I'd like that." Bo beamed with relief and pressed a kiss to Lauren's temple. Bo sighed and continued to stroke her hair for a minute before launching into the next point of discussion.
"We still need to talk about one of the biggest elephants in the room. The night I missed your award banquet. I know that I hurt you terribly and it must have confirmed to you that I didn't really care about or respect you. I was so ashamed that I just sent you a bunch of texts – which I don't blame you for not answering – when I should have sucked it up and tracked you down to speak to you in person."
Lauren looked down for a moment then sucked in a shuttering breath. "Yes, Bo. That really, really hurt." She swallowed hard. "I was so crushed that I didn't even go to the banquet. I just sat at home all night and got drunk. Then a colleague came by to drop off my award and invited me for a drink. I wasn't in any shape to have more alcohol, but I was so depressed I was willing to do anything to shut it off for a while." Her sad tone quickly shifted and she rolled her eyes. "And don't worry, he was a perfect gentleman."
"Oh baby, you didn't even go? God, and I thought I couldn't possibly feel any worse…" Horrified, she covered her face in shame.
"It's over and done with. We should just move on." Lauren had become unsettled from the painful memories and just wanted to leave it before she got more upset.
"I know it won't change that I hurt you, but I really need you to know what actually happened that day. Out of the blue Tamsin invited me to lunch," Lauren visibly bristled at the mention of the Valkyrie's name. "and apparently her idea of 'lunch' was a bloody mary at a Dark Fae bar. She said she had to warn me about the Dawning and that I was being lied to, that the Dawning was deadly dangerous and she didn't think I would make it out alive, blah, blah, blah. Like that was supposed to help me! Then these Dark Fae assholes started harassing me and started a fight. But there was this guy there who helped us escape and when we got out I thanked him and shook his hand and said I owed him one, at which point Tamsin yelled at me. Lo, do you know what a Spriggand is?"
"A Spriggand? …oh wait!" Lauren lit up in recognition. "You got trapped in a binding IOU didn't you?"
"Yeah and he demanded to call it in immediately. So I told him I had to get back to my girlfriend and he would have to wait. But no matter which direction I turned to get away from him, he just rematerialized in front of my face and wouldn't let me leave. He said he needed help rescuing this girl named Hannah who had been kidnapped and her powers were being exploited."
"Oh Bo – why didn't you just tell me when I called? I would have been really disappointed and upset you had gotten trapped by an IOU – but still, you were trying to rescue someone in trouble and I would have understood you couldn't get away. Why did you let me think that you just blew me off?"
"Remember I mentioned that I'm an idiot? The Spriggand kept saying that it would be over soon, and I didn't want to upset you since I stupidly kept believing him that we were almost done. I didn't want you to think that I wasn't coming, but by the time we rescued the girl it was too late. I was mortified. But the real kicker? It turns out that the entire surreal scavenger hunt from hell was an elaborate orchestrated trial I had to pass in order to earn my invitation to the Dawning!"
"Holy shit. You needed a damn invitation?"
"Talk about worst timing ever!" Bo groused. "It was so bizarre and ridiculous. I would come up against these stupid obstacles and I find out later that all the twists and turns were being controlled by this magical machine that Trick was operating. He had gotten sucked into this crazy-ass game and he was controlling my fate. Like at one point he had to feed the machine my least favorite drink and then all of a sudden I'm drunk and I had the disgusting taste of that gnome nectar elderberry swill in my mouth."
"Oh god. And I called you while you were drunk! I was so pissed…and it wasn't your fault."
"I'm so sorry that I was just too out of it to explain. On the other hand you probably wouldn't have believed me if I told you that while I was out with Tamsin I got drunk on imaginary alcohol."
After a brief pause, Lauren asked in a small voice, "Is that when you kissed Tamsin? When you were drunk?" She looked away, avoiding eye contact, not sure if she wanted to hear the answer.
"What? But how did y –"
"Tamsin came by yesterday for the express purpose of telling me that you kissed her, and that it wasn't even to feed." Lauren slowly looked up at Bo with a pained and expectant expression.
"That BITCH! And to think I called her one of the good guys. And I guess she was right, I do suck at reading people…"
"Are you saying she lied? It never happened?" Lauren asked with a tiny bit of hope.
"No! I mean yes! I mean yes, she lied – but no, we did kiss – but, but it wasn't like that!" Bo sputtered, with rising panic.
"Bo, you either did or you didn't," Lauren accused.
Bo took a deep breath. "I was planning to tell you, please believe me! Then everything just got fucked up and I never had the chance… ok, first of all, she kissed me – completely out of the blue! I just froze I was so shocked. And it was like less than two seconds, closed mouth, no tongue. We were both so surprised we didn't say anything and pretty much tried to pretend it didn't happen. So it wasn't my fault! Actually, it wasn't even Tamsin's fault."
"What's that supposed to mean? You said she kissed you."
"It was actually Trick's fault!"
"You lost me."
"That damn machine that was controlling everything! I actually found out yesterday when I was talking to Trick and moaning about all the horrible things I'd done to mess up our relationship. And then he confesses that it's his fault that Tamsin kissed me. See, I had to fight in this stupid duel. When I won, Trick and Stella were so relieved and excited I was still alive that they got carried away and kissed each other. Trick was smooching Stella while he was supposed to be controlling the game! And that's the exact moment Tamsin kissed me. She was just as surprised as I was. But I just don't understand why she would go to you and twist the story just to be mean and cruel and – oh my god, you thought I cheated on you! And after everything that happened yesterday – god, no wonder you were a wreck! Oh, baby I'm so sorry! I never meant to hurt you!"
Bo frantically pulled Lauren into a desperate hug, kissing the side of her head while repeating, "I'm so sorry," and "I love you." Both lovers' eyes sprang leaks again as they clutched at each other, rocking back and forth.
"Oh Bo, I was so hurt and scared! I just knew I was losing you!" Lauren whimpered. "I shouldn't have taken her word for it. I should have waited to talk to you before jumping to conclusions. I'm so sorry, I was so stupid!"
"Shhh... its ok, baby. I love you. It was just one more thing in a long line of stupid stuff that made you doubt me. I'm so sorry you've had to go through all this. And Tamsin is so going to regret messing with my girlfriend!"
"If it makes you feel any better, I slapped her."
"Oooh… I love it when you get all butch! Very hot."
Lauren giggled and started kissing Bo's neck. "Mmmm… maybe I should take up boxing."
Bo hissed in pleasure. "Oh, baby I would be more than happy to watch you do anything that makes you sweat."
Lauren continued kissing up Bo's jaw then murmured in her ear, "I'll be happy to take requests…" Bo moaned happily and captured Lauren's lips in an insistent kiss. Several endorphin-inducing minutes later, Bo once again reluctantly broke the kiss.
"Baby there's still something else I need to tell you, in the interest of full disclosure."
"Ugh! Why do you keep doing that when we're kissing! You're giving me emotional whiplash!" Lauren groaned in mock indignation.
"Sorry sweetie," Bo gave Lauren's lips a quick peck in contrition. "I just don't want to leave anything left unsaid, since it has a habit of coming back to bite us in the ass."
"Oh, this sounds fun." She took a deep breath. "Ok, hit me."
Bo took a moment to prepare herself for Lauren's less-than-pleased reaction. "During the Dawning, when we were in the metaphorical 'temple,' I kissed Dyson."
Lauren gaped at Bo, her expression equal parts appalled and defeated. "You put all this effort into eloquently convincing me you two are over, and now you tell me this? Is it any wonder that I'm insecure about your fidelity? What the hell, Bo?" She just looked away and shook her head, berating herself for her gullibility.
Bo gently grabbed Lauren's hands and held them tight. "Baby, listen to me. We were sucked into this elaborate hallucination where I wasn't me and he wasn't him. In fact, you, Kenzi, and Trick were there too, but you were all different people. It was so surreal. And you and Dyson practically swapped personalities – you were a cop and he was a sweet, nerdy doctor. It was like bizarro world!"
Lauren just stared blankly.
"You know, bizarro world? Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman had evil twins? Didn't you ever watch Saturday cartoons in the 80s?"
Lauren finally snapped out of it. "Yeah, uh… I got the reference. I was more of a GI Joe and Thundercats fan, myself."
"Oh my god, you were a total baby butch!"
"Hey, and I was damn cute, too!"
The tension broken for the moment, they burst into giggles, with the occasional snort and groan. Bo finally composed herself to bring them back to the subject at hand.
"But you know what? Dyson was the first to snap out of it and tried to convince me it wasn't real. He also figured out that he was the key to getting home and that I had to kill him. He finally forced me into stabbing him. I was so freaked out I could only pray that it was just another hallucination and he would be ok when we got out of the temple. So that added to my hysterics when we got back. I had just killed him! But I think that helped trigger my inner crazy super succubus so I could suck everyone's chi to save him. I guess I owe you and Kenzi an apology for that, since it hurt you humans so much more than the others."
Lauren looked absolutely horrified and barely managed to croak, "Oh god, don't apologize! Of course you had to save him!" Bo took a moment to scrutinize Lauren who seemed severely freaked out, but she let it go for the time being.
"So anyway, a lot of intense shit happened to us during the Dawning, and that in itself is sort of…intimate. So I confronted him yesterday. I was mad that he knew ahead of time that he was going on a one way trip. And despite his noble suicide mission, the kiss, and the other intense stuff we shared, I wanted to make it clear to him that I was in love with you. And he was actually totally cool. He said it wasn't some grand gesture to win back my heart, he just wanted to have my back and he knew that if necessary I would find a way to save him," She chuckled, "since you know, I don't play by the rules."
"No you certainly don't," Lauren admitted affectionately. "He bet on the right girl."
