Wow! This didn't take me forever at all! I don't know why, but it got very hard to write this last chapter. I hope it's a good ending, but with how difficult it was I'm a little worried. All I can do is hope that you guys like it though! Please like it!

Warning: Drug Abuse, Self-Harm, self-hatred, suicidal thoughts, Psychological Abuse.

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"My dear fellow," said Sherlock Holmes as we sat on either side of the fire in his lodgings at Baker Street, "life is"… Seriously, Jordan? Can you not sit still for one moment?"

"Seriously, Jonathan? Can you not talk like you're a part of the Holmes family after you read the books?" the younger man shot back his voice moving from one side of the room to the other.

"I most certainly do not do that."

"Sorry, Sweetie," Dina replied with a small laugh, "you do. You also pick up a British accent. If it makes you feel any better though yours is a lot better than Kay's."

Laughter filled the room at the woman's words drowning out the sounds of beeping machines. Something that Cameron was glad for. He never did like the sounds that woke him up whenever he was in the hospital. Though he had been enjoying his brother reading to him.

Surprisingly enough that wasn't something that Johnny did all that often. He wasn't a huge fan of just sitting around reading books unless they were teaching him something. Outside of books on magic Sherlock Holmes were the only books they agreed on.

At the same time though it was weird to be on the receiving end of it. He was usually the one that read things out loud. It had been awhile since that had happened though. Thinking about it it had been awhile since he had just sat and read a book.

That was the main reason he hadn't opened his eyes and shown everyone that he was awake and that they didn't need to worry about him anymore. Everything was just so peaceful and normal that he didn't want to break it just yet.

For the first time since his brother went to jail Cameron could almost believe that everything was back to normal. He had his brother and his team by his side. Nothing could touch him if they were next to him. He had everything he wanted.

Pretending that he was still asleep he allowed himself to revel in that feeling. His brother was sitting next to him talking and laughing and enjoying himself. His team was joking around without a care in the world. It was perfect.

Add to all of that the fact that Kay and Mike were there having just as much fun as everyone else… Nothing could be better. The little family that they had created for themselves was finally complete.

Even as he relished that feeling though he knew that it all had to be in his head. Jonathan was in prison and the team was slowly falling apart without him there. Anyway, Johnny, Kay, and Mike getting along was the last thing that would ever happened.

Oh how he wanted it all to be true though. His team was everything to him and the fact that he wasn't what they needed to keep them whole broke his heart. All he had wanted to do since they started their group was to keep them safe and happy so they'd stay.

Truthfully, that was all he ever wanted to do. Ever since he was a child he had had people coming in and out of his life. That was just a fact of living on the road and having to spend so much time pretending.

None of that was what he wanted though. The idea of settling down in one place and having people that truly cared about him was perfect. It was just a dream. Everything that he had ever wanted was just a dream.

He wasn't the person that anyone needed. That was Jonathan. Dina needed him as a boyfriend, Jordan and Gunter needed him as a leader, and Cameron needed him as a protector. There was no real room for him there.

Cameron could remember watching as his brother went up against their father whenever he came up with his more dangerous plans. He watched and wondered if he was ever going to be as strong as him. If maybe one day he could protect someone as well as he did.

Jonathan always was so much more protective than he was and he had loved that. Most of the time. It was odd though whenever he tried to step into those shoes and help his brother out. It always felt like he was pretending.

Still, he tried so hard to be that person when they were younger. From making his brother food whenever he was too focused on something to remember to eat to reading to him whenever he had nightmares. He tried to help whenever he could.

The only problem with that was the fact that he had no idea what Johnny needed. His twin didn't talk about his emotions all that often so he always had to guess to try to figure out if what he was doing was right.

More often than not he felt as if he was being nothing but annoying, but Jonathan never said anything so he continued and hoped he wasn't wrong. He did the same with the rest of the team. Doing small things that let them know he was right there if they ever needed him. They never did.

He always ended up feeling as if he was letting them down. That every time he tried to to help them he only made matters worse. Maybe that was why they never tried to talk to him about any real issues.

"Cameron," Jonathan spoke up sounding slightly amused, "Tell them that I do not talk oddly after reading Sherlock Holmes."

The younger twin had to force himself not to sigh when he realized that the jig was up. He didn't want to face the real world just yet. He wanted to spend some more time listening to the team and pretending everything was fine. Blinking his eyes open Cameron let the hazy room pull into focus.

For the first time since he woke up he took in the hospital room around him and tried to figure out what had landed him there. No matter how hard he thought about it he could not remember what had happened.

The last thing he could think of was finding out he didn't have enough drugs to make it through a few hours let alone the rest of the day. He could remember feeling as if he was frozen solid despite everyone saying they were in the middle of a heatwave.

A part of him expected to feel that way again, but it wasn't. He felt almost numb in a way. As if he could bash his head into a wall and everything would be fine. It was easy to tell that he was on something, but that provided him with little comfort.

"Cam?" Jonathan questioned resting a hand on the man's shoulder causing him to tense as his heart monitor picked up, "Hey, no. No, Cam, you're fine. You're safe. It's just me and the team."

Cameron had no idea why he was beginning to panic. He knew where he was and who was around him. He knew that he was safe. There was no reason for him to feel as if he couldn't catch his breath.

Shaking his head Cameron let out a small whimper his eyes clenching shut. Without thinking he reached up and gripped the hand on his shoulder holding on so tightly his knuckles turned white though he didn't notice.

"Shh, Sweetheart," Dina whispered right next to him her gentle fingers coming to wipe away tears he wasn't aware he was shedding, "You're alright. We have you."

He knew that they were trying to comfort him, but it had the opposite effect. Every word that fell from their lips just made him feel worse about himself. Them taking care of him was the last thing he wanted. He already took so much of that from them.

"Cam," Kay sternly spoke her voice rising above the others, "You have to calm down. Okay? I know that you're in your mind right now, but we need you here. Okay?"

Hearing the command in her voice Cameron let his eyes open once more. The FBI agent was leaning over him with that no-none-sense look of hers and he felt calmer for some reason. Keeping their eyes locked he forced himself to take deep breaths and do what she said.

"Good," Kay nodded her head as he calmed himself down, "Good. Now, I know you know you're in the hospital. Do you remember why?."

"Kay," Jonathan growled out glaring at her.

"No I get that you want to protect him, Johnny, but it's time for some tough love. Cameron, do you know why you're here?"

Licking his lips the man looked over at his brother wondering if he was supposed to answer that or not. Jonathan was still glaring at Kay, but whenever his eyes would flicker down to Cam they would soften ever so slightly. Still he didn't speak.

For a moment he kept quiet trying to get his thoughts in order. He hadn't felt like he was at the end of his rope since the first time his brother found out he was taking drugs. With everyone surrounding him though it felt so much more real than it did back then.

"I'm sorry," he offered his voice rough from lack of use.

Around him everyone kept quiet waiting for him to answer the question, but he had no words. All he wanted to do was crawl into a hole and never climb out. It would have been better for everyone if he just stopped existing. They'd be fine without him.

"Stop that," Jonathan cut through his thoughts giving a squeeze to his hand, "Whatever you're thinking stop."

"Johnny," Cameron tried staring up at his twin.

"No, Kay's right. I never should have let it get this far. I never should have let you hide this from everyone. If I had just convinced you to tell people that you used to-that you have a drug problem we wouldn't be here now. I thought… I thought that I would be there to protect you from it. I wasn't. I let you down, Cam."

Hearing the sadness and self-hatred in his twin's voice Cameron felt the panic start to return. The last thing he wanted was for his brother to feel like he was as fault for the situation. It was all on him. No one but him.

Attempting to sit up so he could latch onto his twin Cameron ignored the way the wire and tubes pull painfully at his skin. They didn't matter at the moment. Only making sure that Johnny and everyone else was fine did.

"Stop," Jonathan tried to command though his voice was weak as he moved to try to hold the man down as he panicked, "Cameron, stop! You need to stop before you hurt yourself."

"Don't care," Cameron panted out still trying to sit up his fingers digging into his brother's arm.

"I do! Okay? I care if you hurt yourself! So stop being so damn stubborn!"

He couldn't help but freeze when he heard his brother yell at him in a tone he had never heard come from him before. Johnny was always so calm and in control. The last thing he should ever sound like was as if he was losing all of that.

Going limp in his twin's arms he focused on the man above him taking him in. For the first time in a long time he saw tears in the normally calm eyes. With a shaking hand Cameron reached up and rested a hand on the side of his face causing his brother to lean into his touch.

"Jonathan," Cameron tried to soothe though his voice sounded broken, "Don't blame yourself. Please? Don't blame yourself for this."

Letting out a disbelieving snort Jonathan leaned forward to press his forehead to Cam's chest. Instantly he was wrapping his arms around the man holding him tightly like he used to whenever his twin had a bad dream.

"I'm sorry," Cameron muttered carding a hand through his brother's hair, "I'm sorry."

"What happened, Cameron?" Kay asked him once more dragging his thoughts from his twin.

"I.. I don't know. I thought I was okay. I mean, not 'okay' okay, but okay enough to function. Anyway, I had to find a way to get Johnny out of prison and keep the team together. I didn't have time not to be okay. Well, I mean, I was drinking a little more than normal and Dina had to pick me up from bars more often that no, but I was okay. I was. No drugs. I swear."

"That changed."

"I… They were in my pocket. I was going to bring them to you so you could get rid of them, Kay, but then I started to think and one thing lead to another and..."

"And you were shooting up instead of giving them to me to get rid of."

"I had to. I just... I had to make it stop."

Looking up at everyone else in the room he saw the confusion and worry in their eyes. None of them seemed to understand what he was trying to say. He didn't even really understand what he was trying to say.

"Make what stop?" Gunter asked crossing his arms over his chest.

"The thoughts," he answered look at the older man, "It was the only way I knew to make them stop. At least it worked the first time. I had to give it a chance. I had tried other things, but they didn't work. I tried. I really did. You have to believe that. I tried, but it hurt so much watching everything fall apart. I mean, I know that I'm not as good as Johnny, but..."

"What?" his brother questioned cutting him off as he pulled back to glare at Cam, "What did you just say?"

"It's just a fact," he shrugged trying to wave it off, "I'm not as good as you. I'm useless. I know that."

"You know that? Who the hell… Oh, and here I thought Dad was dead."

"Jonathan..."

"Don't even act like that wasn't something he said. That was him word for word. Always beating you down as if he was any better himself."

"It wasn't as if he wasn't right, Johnny. You are better than me in every way possible. It's just a fact. I shouldn't even be here. I should never have been born and everyone knows that!"

"The hell we do!" Jordan called out causing everyone to look at him as he stalked closer to the bed looking angrier than they had ever seen him, "We love you, Cameron. We need you just as much as we need Jonathan. Not just because you're the face of the show either. You're our brother. We need you here to keep us safe and to keep us happy. We need both!

"I know it sucks not having Jonathan around. I get that. I miss him every day, but ever since he left it's like you've become a shell of yourself. I know you're trying but I miss the old you.

"The man that used to stay up with me while I explained some tech that I know he didn't understand. The person that used to go shopping with Dina just because he loved seeing the way her face lit up at a good deal. The person that would spend hours in the kitchen with Gunter cooking anything they could come up with and forcing us to eat it. I miss my brother too!"

Staring at the younger man in shock Cameron felt like he couldn't breathe. He had never thought that anyone would say anything like that to him. He hadn't even realized that they treasured those moments just as much as he did.

"Jordan's right," Dina picked up after a moment, "You haven't been yourself and now you're talking like your father would. The last thing you should do is listen to that abusive asshole."

"He never hit us," Cameron denied instantly with a shake of his head.

"Abuse doesn't have to be physical," Mike pointed out calmly, "It could also be emotional. Like telling your children one of them has to pretend not to exist or telling one that they're useless and beating them down at every turn until they to believe that. Until they started to self-destruct because they believe in the lies."

Letting the agents words wash over him Cameron looked away from everyone. He had heard the argument from his brother more than a few times, but it felt different coming from everyone else as well.

The last thing that ever wanted to call his father was abusive, despite everything that had happened he did love the man, but what they were saying made sense. A part of him hated them for that.

"Johnny?" he whispered turning to the man.

"I'm sorry," his twin offered softly, "I'm so sorry, Cam. I tried, I really did, but I didn't know what to do. I still don't. Cam, all I have ever wanted was for you to see how amazing you are and to leave that man in the past."

"But… He's our dad."

Jonathan opened his mouth to say something else, but was cut off by Kay resting a hand on top of their entwined ones. Looking over at the agent he let out a sigh and dropped his head not looking at Cameron anymore.

"Cameron," Kay started drawing his attention to her, "How did you stop last time? How did you get through withdrawal?"

"Jonathan," he answered holding his brother's hand tighter, "It was the only way. Dad wouldn't have let me go to a hospital if he found out. He probably would have hit me if he found out."

"So sheer force of will. Cameron, your dad was abusive. I know you don't want to hear that, but it's the truth. Because of the fact that he hid you and your brother away for so long you both keep hiding even now. You don't have to do that anymore. You don't have to pretend to be fine when you're not. You don't have to do this alone."

"Do what?"

"Get clean. You don't have to get clean alone. We can get you help, real help."

"What?"

"You haven't faced why you turned to drugs when you were younger in the first place. You have to figure out what drove you to it and what made you go back this time."

"You want me to talk to someone."

"I want you to be okay, Cameron. I think this might be the way to do it."

Opening his mouth ready to deny what she was saying Cameron felt himself stop once more when he saw his teams faces out of the corner of his eye. They all looked so hopeful. Like they really thought it might help.

"I..." Cameron tried to start only to find words escaping him.

"I know you don't want to do this," Kay offered with a sad smile, "But do you remember why you're in the hospital yet?"

"No."

"You freaked out," Dina whispered tears clear in her voice, "You freaked out and ran into the middle of traffic. You… You could have died, Cameron. Please, give it a try. Please?"

"I… Okay. If-If you think it'll help. I'll try. I-I'll try."