Finally I was able to get some sleep after this whole mess. In contrary to what I had expected, the bed was actually very comfy, to the point of if woken up, anyone who slept on it would have to unleash a series of serious whims, and not just me. I'm an actor, I need those sleeps to stay fresh and to keep my career in shape. Moreover, I promised that something interesting would happen in this chapter. But then again, judging by what was happening in the past few chapters (or from the beginning of this story, to be more exact), I learned that I should be careful what I wish for.

*insert a bunch of brief boom sounds here*

"What is it, what is it!? Kibinimat, what's going on!?"

More shenanigans, I suppose. Shortly after those booms, I could also hear some aggressive splashing. I run out of my room, still in my pajamas, towards where the sounds were coming from – the engine room. The clock says 2:00 AM, but I'm not surprised to find myself out there in those hours. I feel like something mind-scarring is going to happen. More than once.

"The engine! Something happened with the engine!"

This is what I managed to exclaim to myself when the only thing I found here was Knuckles' hat lying there with no explanation whatsoever. I couldn't tell whether or not anything with the machinery was damaged, because it's one of the last things I understand.

Soon Bunnie came in.

"Aw, what is this noise Ah was hearin'!? Brrrrr, like a broken mixer!" she gasped. Her strange statement was then followed by the arrival of the fox nerds.

"Hello uncle, hello creatures of the night," said Tails. "Indeed my ear has received an ear-deafening noise, as the noise of a sodium tincture that reaches a boil of 37 degrees Celsius."

"After we've dissolved the glutamate from the tincture, Tails," Merlin responded to him. Apparently he was sleeping with his usual clothing, while his mutated nephew was wearing strange matching clothes with mathematical formulas scribbled all over. Bunnie didn't change her clothes either.

The sadistic psychos soon made their entrance as well. Shadow was dressed in a crimson-colored robe, while Rouge was dressed in a bizarre nightgown which was poorly cut to expose her entire front side, with the exception of her private parts. I can only assume she loves being stared at, which doesn't surprise me.

"By my wife's aunt, ha ha ha! Here's a hat! Perhaps does anyone want to buy it from me?" Shadow chuckled. That's indeed a strange way to declare possession of something that doesn't belong to you.

Amy, Blaze, and Dr. Finitevus also made their way to the engine room. Blaze and Finitevus still had their regular clothing, but Amy was dressed in a white midriff-baring undershirt and a green miniskirt.

"Lamp-oil and bombs, Ryan McCombs!" Blaze gasped. "It is the force of Ripto in his glory! Here he is already flying towards us with his nails, and he shalt placeth us on the roof of Winter Tundra! At least this is what my Sol Emerald says."

Now it's my turn to say something nonsensical. That's how I am, I'm an actor.

"Toss me into boiling grease and call me a French fry if this isn't Knuckles the Echidna's hat! You know what they say, the thief burns underneath every hat."

My odd comment made everyone say random stuff, even though the only thing I could understand from this rabble was Merlin muttering "Why are you wasting my time? Why are you wasting my time!?"

All this "rabble, rabble, rabble" continued until Eggman came and silenced everyone.

"Hold it, hold it! Silence, silence! Let me check something!" he said and bended over for a second towards Knuckles' hat, before getting up again.

"YES!" he yelled. "It's my first time succeeding in crouching to the floor without bending my knees! Let's see you do it! Who wants a competition? Mwa ha ha! I want!"

"Oh, hold yer horses! This really is Knuckles the Echidna's hat!" Bunnie exclaimed.

"Why are you making such a big deal out of this?" I ask Eggman. "In kindergarten I would bend over to the tiles without budging a ring-finger! And since you asked, then you should know that my kindergartener Krystal has always told me that I'm so flexible that I could serve as a spring in a high-tech factory. But nowadays, if you're not a cockroach, nobody talks to you!"

"My entire life I wanted to be a shiny orange cone of VLC media player," Amy giggled.

"I remember dreaming of being the number 2 on a Bezeq public phone," Finitevus added.

"Ladies and gentlemen, what does this have to do with this case? Nothing! We are not making any sense! Let's just call Knuckles the Echidna, ask him if he lost a hat, and get back to sleep already!" I snapped.

"Bravo, bravo!" Shadow muttered. "Sign here, and here, and here, and I'm getting you all in a single-engine plane to Buttville, and sending you to the bottom of the spike pit with your lousy fiasco!"

"Maybe Knuckles the Echidna is hiding under the hat?" Eggman suddenly suggested. I wanted to remain angry at Shadow, but Eggman made me laugh with that comment as he crouched towards Knuckles' hat again.

"Knuckles, are you there?" he called. Then he got up and said: "Well, he's a little shy." Seriously, that's the last thing I'd say about Knuckles. "Hey you, Pikachu! Come out!"

"Hey you, Pikachu? That's a different game," Amy replied.

Eggman then picked up Knuckles' hat. "Knuckles, get out of here now, immediately! I have no spare time for your games!" Eggman said before putting the hat back down on the floor. I guess he wasn't taking this oddity seriously after all. For a moment I thought he was sick or something.

"Guys, I have a huge puzzle in my room of two Siamese cats, 2,000 pieces," he continued. "I've been taking my eyes out on it. Who wants to come and help me?"

"That's odd! I have a 4-piece puzzle in my room of the Turtle Mafia," Finitevus suddenly responded. "And up to this day I've been boggling my mind on it, and my kishke."

"The sleep quota of a living metabolism from the mammal family, implying that it is a mature being," explained Merlin. "This implies, Tails, that it is between 6 and 8 hours and at night. Any deviation from the aforementioned sleep scope will cause a long-term neural volatility in the behavior of Tails, who is not used to being in a wakeful state of matter after 7 o'clock! Here, observe! Watch how he commences!"

We all starts looking confused at Tails as he starts spinning his tails around and marching in place. "Hello uncle, morning, night creatures!" the living headache exclaimed insanely. "I am Tails, a little celery! On February 29th I shall be celebrating 18 years and 2 days of age! Joy and happiness in Mobius cities! Daughters of Mobius shall come out dancing!"

"I suggest that all of us split up to a group of 8 and search for him in the ship's sterns, where the wheel is," I said. "Don't ask how I know this, because until I answer, the spirit exits!"

However, I can answer you this question. I noticed that there was a large window showing the horizon, and water drops were falling down. But some of them were darker than usual. This seemed very suspicious. Therefore, I figured out that this should be the first place to search for him.

And so we all exit the engine room and walk towards the sterns of the ship...

Only to find Knuckles lying dead inside the wheel.

I knew it, I just fucking knew it. It is not necessary to peek at the script to figure out that Knuckles was scheduled to die.

"He's here on the wheel!" Bunnie gasped in shock. "Spinning around like a carousel, like a Ferris Wheel!"

"Holy moly, Buddy Holly!" Blaze exclaimed. "You bunch of ugly monsters, don't you see!? Ripto has already lifted up the soul of this deceased! What shalt happeneth to us all!?"

"That's not the question. What you need to ask yourselves is who murdered Knuckles the Echidna."

A lot of crazy stuff has been happening to me in this cruise, but a talking corpse!? Yes, a talking corpse! Even after death, Knuckles actually talked to us! Once again, everyone was surprised, except for me. I'm just trying to blend in with you and the rest of the crowd.

Knuckles just said he was murdered, so should I be scared? What I need to ask myself is why I even asked that question, because the description of the story already states that there's a "mysterious" murder on the ship! So yes, I'm scared as hell!

"He's alive!" Blaze gasped.

"You dumbass, he's dead!" I snapped at her. "There are some people who talk after death!"

"Who told you this poppycock!?" Merlin suddenly blurted.

"Shut up, don't argue with me!" I responded.

"CHOLERA! I shall not tolerate nonsense!" the headache's uncle boomed.

"Enough! Enough! Enough! Let us hear already!" Amy interrupted. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to barge in."

"Well, Knuckles the Echidna was busy operating this tub," Knuckles' corpse explained, "and if I may note, and I may indeed, very skillfully. Until all of a sudden, someone had emerged behind him and FLAGRANTLY bashed his vertex. The next thing that happens is that Knuckles the Echidna faints, and several minutes later, Knuckles the Echidna wakes up and finds himself dead on this wheel."

Yep, that makes perfect sense. If there's something I should have known since the first chapter, it's that nothing is supposed to make sense in this story. The fact that I'm aware that it's a story is already a clear enough hint. However, what I need to ask myself right now is the following:

"But who did that, who did that!?"

"That's not the question," Knuckles responded. "What you need to ask yourself is if Knuckles the Echidna saw who did that, and the answer is no. He did not."

Anger inside builds within my body once again after that useless response.

"Well, get him off the wheel! Why can't anyone help!?" I snapped. "So you just don't give two shits about anything that doesn't regard your own wallet, is that how it is!? Bunnie, can't you move yourself here!?"

"Ah actually can move mahself," the rabbit responded. "Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi!" she chanted while dancing in place. Just to make her stop, I push her backwards, causing her to gasp. I accidentally pushed her on Merlin, and this prompted Tails to come over and kick me again.

"Daughters of Mobius, come out and dance!" he declared.

"Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi!" Bunnie chanted and danced again for a while.

I guess Tails was being turned on by this. Raging hormones, I can forgive him for that. OK, back to the dead Knuckles. I'm gonna be serious now.

"Knuckles, I'm taking your hat as a clue to solve the mystery," I said. "I need it, I'm an actor. You know, I need a varied cloakroom and accessories."

"Take it, I've finished my job here," Knuckles replied. "Gray! Order a taxi for me, I'm going."

"What a terrible mystery! The entire reputation of my ship will be soiled!" Eggman exclaimed. "Who's up for completing a puzzle?"

"Wait," Amy interrupted again, "why don't we let Sonic solve the mystery? Yo, he's the champion of mysteries! The champion of the champions! He's a cult, a cult I tell ya!" She then bowed down before me twice.

"I am not a detective! The fact that I played a detective in an exemplary manner only testifies my acting skills! So don't open your mouth, you might give them ideas! Sonic does whatever he wants, whenever he wants, and right now I WANT TO BEAT THE LIVING HELL OUT OF YOU!" I roared and knocked Amy to the floor.

"Amazing, you were chosen!" Eggman chuckled. "And make me some herbal tea as well!"

"Why me!? Why me!?" I boomed. "You sit all day and warm up your seats, and only I need to run around here! And now you force another case on me!? Kibinimat! Gray, look, it's... Gray, listen, it's unbelievable! You're not fine! This isn't OK!"

My complaints didn't help. At least I can finally return to sleeping again now. However, barely an hour passes, and suddenly this is what I get.


*insert motorcycle sounds here*

"Is the rope tightened, honey?"

"Step on the gas, darling!"

I wake up to find Rouge and Shadow driving a motorcycle and holding a rope which is tied around... me.

"Hey wait a minute, what are you doing!?" I shout as the psychos drive all the way to the top deck while ignoring my shouts. Shadow then gets off and walks towards the edge while dragging me by the leg. Damn, those two are much crazier than I thought!

"Dear, I hope we didn't wake you up," Shadow snickered as he held me over the edge of the deck, as if he was threatening to drop me down towards my death, "Undernet forbid, it's just that my wife and I had a little argument."

"My dear husband claims that you don't have the Chaos Emerald, and I actually claim that you do," Rouge smirked. "Do you have any suggestion how to save Shadow and me a deadly argument?"

"So we'd both be satisfied?" Shadow continued while shaking me over the edge.

"And you should make sure we're both satisfied," Rouge concluded.

"As if I give a fuck about your satisfaction!" I snapped. "Get me back in bed before I start screaming!"

"If you start screaming here, you will keep screaming all the way down!" Shadow glared.

"Well, I won't," I replied nonchalantly.

This is simply another one of these situations when my sense of judgement is depraved, and this one is justified for a change, because I'm hanging upside-down and my life is at stake, and it's impossible to think straight when those two lunatics are glaring at me like this!

"Damn, I didn't know it's permissible to board motorcycles on the deck!" I suddenly blurted. "Man, if I'd known, I'd have gotten a license, bought one, and put it here on the deck."

"Damn it Rouge, how much is he talking!? My hand is starting to hurt," Shadow muttered, shaking me again.

"You had better tell us where you hid the Chaos Emerald," Rouge said in a seductive tone while walking towards Shadow, "my husband is very ticklish."

The perverted bat then takes out a feather and starts tickling Shadow, and they both laugh while the latter keeps shaking me in the air and almost causing me to throw up. This is really getting on my nerves.

"If you put me down just for a second I'll kick your ass!" I shouted angrily.

Surprisingly, Shadow indeed puts me back on the deck, and both he and his whorish winged wife start glaring at me again. My eyes move back and forth between Rouge and Shadow, and I realized this situation was even scarier. I had only one choice left.

"OK, put me back there."

Shadow grins and holds me and above the edge again. "I knew you had no courage! I knew you had no courage!" I shouted at him, but he shook me again.

"The next time Shadow lets go of you, it won't be just for a second! Where is the Chaos Emerald!?" Rouge growled. I seriously don't know how to answer that. They could have seen for themselves that I wasn't interested in that stupid emerald, nor was I the first to arrive when the vault was broken. Because they're too dumb to understand that (or maybe just Rouge, because she stated that Shadow didn't think I had the emerald), I'm going to say something irrelevant.

"Wait, but if I want to board a motorcycle on the deck, is there a special tax?" I asked. "It's just, I've been thinking about doing this long ago, but I didn't know if it would be worthwhile for me in terms of costs. No no no, I'll tell you... I'll tell you, I just thought that... no, you see, I just feared that there was some special tax, I'll tell you, I don't need this brain-scrambling, I'll go by foot. I mean, how many decks are there in this ship anyway? I'm rational, huh?"

"This is the last thing I would say about you," muttered Shadow.

"Then perhaps you should say that and we'll go, Shadow!" Rouge responded to him, finally getting it through her thick skull that I don't have the Chaos Emerald.

"Listen, he's a rational guy!" Shadow chuckled and dropped me.

I just scream until I fall all the way to the bottom deck. Now all I have left is to just crawl all the way back to my bed. It's already past 3 AM and I barely have any time to sleep. I just hope the other nights won't be as bad as this one.


Day 2

*insert sounds of door-knocks here*

"What, what, who is it!?" I mutter in my sleep.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!"

Just when the last word was shouted, the door suddenly opened and I see Amy grinning playfully at me as she enters my room without any permission whatsoever. I just stayed in my bed as I watched her.

"Sonic, Sonic, it's me!" Amy giggled. "How is my impersonation of Raven?"

I looked at the clock and saw it was only 8 AM, and then I just tossed a pillow at Amy. How does she dare to wake me up in that hour!? Doesn't she know that actors don't wake up before 11 AM!? And her impersonation was even worse than Knuckles' impersonations in the second chapter! So what does Amy get? This!

"Traditional Armenian song!" I exclaimed and started singing and dancing. "Wake up! Grab a brush and put a little makeup! Hide the scars to fade away the shake up! Why'd you leave the keys up on the table? Here you go create another fable! You wanted to! Grab a brush and put a little makeup! You wanted to! Hide the scars to fade away the shake up! You wanted to! Why'd you leave the keys up on the table? You wanted to! I don't think you truuuuuuust, iiiiiiiin, myyyyyyyy, self-righteous suiciiiiiiiiide, Iiiiiiiiii, cryyyyyyyy, when angels deserve to die, die, die, die, diediedie die-die-die-die! DIE!"

Amy became speechless by my spectacular performance. This only means I managed to amaze her and show her who the boss is around here.

"Anyways," she said in attempt to hide her extreme amazement, "I am ready and steady to go out on an investigation! To discover secrets, intrigues, and vile scams, to unveil the dark side of humanity, to dabble in the waters of the public's filth, to sink in the humane gutter up to the neck!"

Only then did I notice that Amy was carrying a large picnic box. She put it down on the floor and continued: "I brought a canteen, I brought a thermos of hot juice and plastic cups, I brought shoes for hiking, I have a finjan, a small gas burner, a machete, rappelling pegs, a bungee rope, and a Hyrulian tambour to form the team! Come on, let's go!"

First she wakes me up so insolently, and then she has the nerves to drag me into a pointless hike around the ship against my will!? She has made me very angry.

Very angry indeed.

"What let's go, what let's go!? Search for someone else!" I snapped. "I ain't moving myself for anybody! What, am I supposed to wander aimlessly around the entire ship!? 'Excuse me sir, I wanna ask you a question, where have you been, what have you been doing, what was the nature of your relations with?' No with the genetivus absolutus and with stress on the N! Go alone, Amy!"

"Playing Trivia, eh?" Eggman suddenly came in.

"Sonic the Hedgehog doesn't want to come with me to solve the mystery," Amy told him. If I hadn't known better, I'd have thought that she and Eggman had planned this.

"What are you saying!? I didn't know that you're an insurance agent!" Eggman responded. "Do me a favor, give me something to eat."

Eggman then proceeded to purposely fall on the floor. "Wait a minute, wait a minute, don't you know who I am? I'm an actor! I appeared in the Megacon Festival! I was performing impersonations of Heat Man's flamethrowers! I appeared in Sargasso as a tile in the kids' play Super Smash Bros. School-fight!" I said.

Eggman then got up. "What are you saying!? I didn't know that you're an insurance agent! Do me a favor, give me something to eat," he repeated and fell back down again. I almost forgot that repeating unfunny jokes is one of his running gags.

"I'm not doing any investigation until you talk to my impresario Samus Aran!" I snapped. "Set up all the numbers between yourselves."

Eggman then got up again. "Here in our navy there are very stiff rules for those who do not fulfill orders!" he boomed. "I will pinch your ear!"

The crazy fat man takes a pair of pliers and starts chasing me around my room! "Hiya, hiya! Come back here! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!"

"Samus, Samus! I'm being beaten!" I shouted as I ran from him. Damn, this is worse than Dr. Kishke Finitevus' chase back in the first chapter! "I'm being assaulted!"

Luckily Eggman bumped against my TV and fell on the floor again. "OK, OK, I'll go with you! Just don't leave me with this cake of fruit!" I said to Amy in exhaustion.

"Yippee!" Amy cheered and exited my room. She then takes out a small Hyrulian tambour and starts playing it and singing: "Someday you'll see things my way, 'cause you never know, no you never know, when you're gonna go!"

I then get out of my room as well and take out my sunglasses. And so I go on an investigation against my will, accompanied with someone I never wanted to meet.

TO BE CONTINUED...


Author's note: And so the first day finally ended, and the second one started. So, after each day ends, I will ask those questions: Who do you think the mysterious murderer is? And whom do you think is going to be murdered next? Feel free to answer in your reviews. Anyways, please review and stay tuned for more!