"Table for…uh, two?"
"Yes. Is there a problem?"
"Ah, no, of course not! Right this way."
"Thank you. Come along, dear."
"…w-what? The wait's over?"
"Yes, Hecarim, you can wake up now. Let's go before our seats are taken."
The undead warhorse nodded at his companion's suggestion before walking with her towards their table. The waiter who was leading them looked very confused and rather frightened. He had just begun working again after recuperating from a painful accident, and he was wondering if the painkillers he was taking were making him see things. After all, it wasn't very often he had an unearthly beautiful woman and her…centaur asking for a table. Not wanting to get fired and noticing that the woman appeared to be a wealthy noblewoman, he decided to avoid making a scene. He did want that big tip when this was all over.
"Here you are, uh, sir and ma'am."
"Thank you, waiter."
"Hey, why is my seat a little stool?"
"Hecarim, dear, a normal chair won't fit you."
"Ah…I guess so."
Hecarim looked over at the waiter and made a ghastly smile. It took everything in the waiter's power to avoid wetting himself.
"Thank you, little…er—Elise, what did you call him?
"He's a waiter, dear."
"There we go. My thanks, little waiter."
The waiter nodded with a terrified, stretched smile of his own.
"My pleasure. Here are your menus. I will return shortly with some bread."
Once the menus were out his hands, the waiter dashed away, Hecarim nodding approvingly at the employee's speed. The undead centaur then looked behind where the stool that was supposed to be his seat was standing and quickly plopped down his hindquarters. It was surprisingly comfortable, though he felt a little silly. He looked up at Elise to see her reaction, but her face was hidden behind a menu. He didn't know it, but she was smiling and giggling softly to herself at the sight.
The restaurant the two were currently dining in was one of the fanciest, ritziest eating establishments in all of Demacia. Only the wealthiest and most powerful people could dine regularly at the restaurant, and an ordinary man would have to work for months to hope to get a reservation. How Elise managed to get a table less than a few hours ago was beyond Hecarim's imagination. The horse lord voiced his curiosity.
"Let's just say one of the nobles who has influence in this area owes me a few favors. More importantly, I'm surprised you actually knew about this restaurant. Fine dining is not exactly…in line with your interests."
"Yorick mentioned it the last time we talked. When he was doing a concert here, he and the others met a noblewoman who happened to be a musician. She apparently joined the band and treated them to a meal here as thanks."
"Ah, yes, I heard about Pentakill obtaining a fourth member recently."
"Mmm. I'm actually a little surprised no one has panicked over my appearance. I recognize some of the people here."
Hecarim looked around and pointed at a few of the other diners.
"I think that's one of the merchants whose fleet I've raided in the past. And there's the commander of a battalion I trampled into the dirt about a month ago. And that's…"
Elise rested her chin on a folded hand, her eyes wandering around the room while she subconsciously listened to her companion identify the curiously large amount of people present whom he had inflicted tragedies upon. To no surprise, none of Hecarim's "victims" seemed to be personally affected by the horse lord's murderous deeds. After all, what did it matter if soldiers and followers died if you were still powerful or wealthy in the end? The spider woman chuckled at the thought as her gaze shifted towards her companion. LeBlanc's illusory magic had proven to be most useful again. An undead centaur might indeed have raised a great amount of alarm, but a "living" centaur—albeit one with a strange iron mask glowing with blue-green flames—could be seen as an exotic guest. She smiled amusedly as she noted the clothes he was wearing. She had never expected to see him wearing a dinner jacket and waistcoat in this un-lifetime. The black bowtie was an especially adorable touch. Well, as adorable as a bowtie could make an undead warlord look anyway.
"Elise?"
Elise snapped out of her thoughts and looked over at her companion. He gestured towards the waiter who had returned with their complimentary bread.
"Ma'am, have you decided on what you wish to order? Would you like to start with an appetizer?"
"Ah, we'll pass on the appetizer. As for the entrée…I'll have the sautéed leviathan."
"Very good, ma'am. And you, sir?"
"Er, I…don't really ea—"
Elise cleared her throat and tapped her menu with a single finger.
"I'll take the, uh, pastissada."
The waiter stared at the horse lord with a horrified expression before weakly nodding his head in response. He quickly turned his attention back towards Elise. Her expression was smooth and calm, but beneath the surface she had an incredibly strong urge to laugh.
"Uh, I…would you like anything to drink, ma'am…and sir?"
"We'll have two glasses of Demacian Mataró. That will be all."
"As you wish. Please do not hesitate to call me if you require anything else."
"Thank you, waiter."
The waiter quickly left the table with the menus, desperately wishing they didn't call him for anything else. The two dinner guests looked on as the poor young man stumbled in his steps.
"He seems troubled."
"I would be troubled too if I was in his shoes."
"Hmm?"
Elise giggled softly at her companion's confusion. She looked at him and remembered her train of thought from before.
"You certainly look handsome tonight, my dear."
Hecarim looked down sheepishly, a large grin widening on his face.
"Thank you, Elise. I'm surprised the king had an outfit like this. He was gracious enough to give it to me."
"So he was."
The undead centaur looked up at his companion and took note of the spider woman's own appearance. She was beautiful as always, but tonight she seemed to have gone the extra mile to look stunning. The form-fitting red and black dress she was wearing accentuated her hair and eyes in a lovely fashion, and the glow from the candle sitting on the table along with the dim lighting of the room further added to her otherworldly allure. The warhorse paused, wondering what exactly he should say to her. Perhaps something eloquent?
"You look…beautiful."
"Thank you, dear, that was much better. Simple, but meaningful."
Elise smiled gently at the horse lord, a pleased look resting on her face. Hecarim changed his mind. She didn't have to try to look stunning; that was something that came naturally to her.
"You know, Hecarim…"
"Yes?"
The undead centaur picked up a slice of warm bread and brought it close to his face. He wondered how it smelled.
"You surprised me when you asked me to accompany you to dinner tonight."
Hecarim sheepishly looked off to the side and absentmindedly took a bite out of the bread. The chewed morsel fell straight through his disguised body and landed with a soft splat on the floor.
"I must apologize, Elise. Even though I offered the suggestion of eating out, you took the effort to get us a table in this…fancy restaurant."
"No need for apologies, my dear. What's important is that you asked me to join you. Now…why did you ask me to dine with you this night?"
The Spider Queen already knew the reason she was here with the Shadow of War, but she chose to withhold such information in order to make her companion verbally reveal his intentions. She helped herself to a piece of bread and took a small bite, suppressing an urge to make a teasing smirk. The bread smelled of silver and tasted like gold. Her face remained still and elegant, but part of her hoped the main course wasn't also currency flavored.
"I…uh…heard that…"
"Yes?"
"…There's this celebration today."
"And what is this celebration called?"
"I overheard a couple Demacian soldiers talking about it during my last incursion into the mainland. They called today…Heartseeker's Day."
"Tell me, Hecarim, what does one do on Heartseeker's Day?"
"You…uh…"
The undead general mumbled under his breath. His bashfulness was endearing and Elise smiled warmly at the sight. Just one more push…
"I'm sorry, dear, I couldn't quite hear what you said. Could you…"
"You take the person youcareabouthemost and do something special for them!"
Despite Hecarim's attempts to speed over the most important words in that statement, Elise understood exactly what he was saying to her. She felt her heartbeat accelerate and her face became slightly rosy. She reached across the table and held her companion's free hand between hers. Soothingly caressing the large, metal gauntlet with one hand, she lifted the other to beckon the horse lord towards her. As Hecarim leaned in, he felt his embarrassment wash away. He put down the piece of bread he was holding and relaxed as Elise stroked his cheek. He felt her other hand entwine with his, and they soon became still, simply enjoying the candlelit moment. Elise glanced up at Hecarim with gentle eyes.
"Thank you, Hecarim."
The ghostly fire beneath Hecarim's mask softly and joyously flared in response.
"What is this stew made of anyway?"
Elise looked up at her companion and quietly laughed as he poked at his food. The waiter had eventually returned with their dishes and wine, and after glancing at Hecarim once more with curious revulsion, hastily left. Fortunately for Elise, the leviathan tasted much better than the bread, her mouth savoring actual food and not precious metal in edible form. The Mataró paired well with the dish, and overall she was quite satisfied with her dinner. Unfortunately for Hecarim, he was not quite able to share such sentiments. He tried the wine and attempted to savor the pastissada—the now wet slop resting beneath his body attesting to that—but as always, eating was little more than an exercise in futility for him.
"Do you really want to know?"
"What do you mean? I guess what's in here doesn't make a difference seeing as how I can't taste anything, but I am curious."
Elise laughed again, a bit more loudly this time, and a sly smile formed on her face.
"Hecarim, dear, you're eating horse meat stew."
The warhorse stopped all motion for a second before looking down at his dish. He poked at the portions of meat and stared at the horseflesh. After a few moments, he looked back up at his companion before putting his fork down.
"I…uh, think I'm done."
Elise simply nodded with amusement before finishing her dish. While they waited for the bill to arrive, they chatted on about their friends and subordinates. Elise was in such a good mood that she even kept her disdain in check when Thresh became a topic of discussion. Soon enough, the waiter returned once more with the bill.
"And that's how Karthus blew up his house—oh, here with the bill, little waiter?"
"Uh, yes sir. Here you are, then. By all means, please, take your time."
"Thank you. Now let's see…"
As the waiter swiftly left once again wishing they took as little time as possible, Hecarim produced a pair of reading glasses from his waistcoat pocket and glanced over the check. Elise laughed softly at the amusing sight.
"Hecarim, dear, do you really need glasses to read?"
"Of course not! But apparently, I read in one of those Piltover magazines that it makes me look smarter."
Elise simply chuckled to herself as she imagined the warhorse perusing through the tabloids to find fashion tips. She reached over and plucked the glasses off her companion's face and smirked at him. Hecarim looked at her with shock as if she had stolen his glaive.
"You don't need glasses to appear intelligent, dear. I already know you are the greatest tactician the Shadow Isles has to offer."
Hecarim blushed—well, as much as an undead centaur could blush anyway—and quietly muttered a subdued "thank you" before looking back at the bill. He swiftly raised his head.
"Uh, Elise, does chopping off the waiter's head and running away count as payment?"
"Not in this society, Hecarim. Do you—"
"It's no problem! No problem at all…"
The horse lord muttered to himself about high society rip offs as he produced about a month's worth of wages and loot from his pockets. With great despair, he placed the bills onto the check.
"The things I do for you…"
"What was that, Hecarim?"
"Nothing!"
Knowing full well what he had said, Elise slyly smiled at her companion and patted his hand.
"And that is why I adore you, my dear. There is no one I'd rather be with than you this night."
Hecarim felt his inner flame flicker elatedly at her words, and he turned over his hand to hold hers. They smiled gently at each other.
"Um, sir?"
Hecarim looked over, feeling rather annoyed that the moment was interrupted. Upon seeing the waiter, he calmed himself and handed the poor lad the bill.
"Thank you, sir and ma'am. I, uh…"
The warhorse stared at the waiter confusedly before he felt a slight nudge on his shoulder. He turned his head and saw Elise pointing at the bill.
"You forgot the tip, dear."
The waiter visibly brightened at the spider woman's words and Hecarim grumbled to himself as he fished through his pockets for whatever money he had left. He pulled a gold coin with a dark gem embedded in its center out of his pocket and handed it to the young man.
"Here you go. Treasure that coin, little waiter; it's a magical one."
The waiter stared at the coin curiously before shrugging and pocketing it. He was sure he could sell it for a decent price at the market.
"Thank you, sir. Ma'am. Please, enjoy the rest of your night."
The two diners thanked the waiter in turn, and for the last time he dashed away, happy to be free from them. Elise looked at Hecarim, a curious look on her face.
"Hecarim, dear, wasn't that one of the coins Yorick uses for his ferry service?"
"Ah, yes. That coin's magic, alright. If I remember correctly, if a living man has one of Yorick's coins, the ghosts and ghouls wanting to ascend to the next tier of death will haunt him until he is…gone."
"Poor soul."
"Not as poor as me at the moment!"
The two laughed at the undead centaur's terrible humor before standing up to leave. As they exited the restaurant, a gust of chill wind blew past them. Hecarim took a moment to take off his jacket and put it around Elise's shoulders. She wasn't actually cold, but she looked at him appreciatively regardless and grasped one of his hands. Looking at the dark, foreboding sky, an idea suddenly came to Hecarim's mind. He turned to his companion.
"I think Morgana's bakery is still open. Would you care for some desert?"
Elise looked back at the horse lord and took a moment to think. A moonlit ride across Valoran to get something sweet to eat? Her hand squeezed Hecarim's and she smiled brightly at him. Without a doubt, she truly had the best date in all of Runeterra. The cloud overhead began to pass and the moonlight shined on her face. Hecarim paused at the flawless beauty before him.
"That sounds perfect."
