THE NEED 2 SPEED
Amy: Accepting the Past
"Amy, quit kidding around."
"Amy, leave me alone."
"Amy, stop it."
"Amy, I don't love you."
Endlessly, the voice has been taunting me.
His voice...
It is but a small part of my suffering. The world moves in a blur around me. Only the static walls of the hospital room remain clearly visible to me. The sounds of the world around me are dulled to an indistinguishable white noise. With incredible focus, I can barely make out the passing of day and night.
I can't move, but I feel... All sense of time is lost. Has it been days? Weeks? Years?
Who knows...
Who cares...
This is all I know now. All I can remember.
Except for that one horrible month, when my happy life went straight to hell...
--------------------
So much had changed in a world that stayed the same...
Shadow had fallen from space, the Finalhazard was stopped from destroying the Earth, and we had made a new friend in Rouge.
But far below us, on that blue sphere, the lives of those people we saved went on unchanged.
But, one way or another, all our lives changed that day.
Sonic's outburst from after the battle was understandable. Shadow had been something he had never encountered before, someone who was very much like him. Brave, unyielding and fast.
Almost a long-lost brother, like the two of them somehow already understood one another on a level unattainable by merely talking to one another.
But something was amiss...
I've known Sonic for a long time, and watched him for the majority of it. Through good times and bad, I always watched with facination, and as such I could always tell how he felt...
It was his eyes...
The eyes are the window to the soul... It was always so true with him...
And then, in his rage, they weren't filled with regret. With anger or with sadness...
But jealousy...
He stormed off into the nearest escape pod and jettisoned it before we had decided on a landing area.
The rest of us returned together in silence. Some out of respect for Shadow, some out of sympathy for Sonic, and some in deep thought.
Upon our landing, Eggman surprised us all by turning himself into the authorities of his own free will. He said that on the A.R.K., he saw how his grandfather's similar quest for knowledge and power lead only to despair, loss, and madness. Within a few short days, G.U.N. quickly and quietly came and transferred him to their own facilities, offering a lessened sentence for his technological aid. Seeing it as a chance to redeem himself, he accepted.
Rouge was in worse shape than any of us. Apparently, Shadow had saved her life, and as such she had gained a sense of camaraderie between them. So with his "death" she felt that not only had she lost a friend and partner, but that she had somehow let him down. Like she was unable to return the favor, that it was her fault... I'm sure that Sonic's outburst didn't help, much as I tried to comfort her that it meant nothing... I often looked at her and wondered, would I be like that? Had Sonic fallen, and Shadow returned, is that what I would have been like?
Ah, but she had Knuckles. Her sly attitude always picked up around him. The two of them made me sick... Love is the most wonderful thing in the world, and anyone who shies away from it is a coward and a fool. It was plainly obvious that the two of them liked one another, but their own foolish sense of pride kept them from ever admitting it. I never passed any opportunity to make it known that I loved Sonic with all my being. That these two could feel the same, and not act on it sickened me. Holding back one's love only brings pain, uncertainty and sorrow. But somehow, those two will work it through their thick heads... Someday...
Tails was a mystery to me. He was the only person who knew Sonic better than me, and yet he seemed the most unconcerned that none of us had seen Sonic since that day on the A.R.K. Instead he seem to shut himself in away from the rest of the world, locked in his lab, constantly studying the only remaining copy of the A.R.K.'s data. Searching...
Though come to think of it, after stopping Perfect Chaos last year, he had vanished for a week then too. But then I had thought he had just gone after Eggman's Egg Carrier 2... But there was no enemy left to pursue now... And besides, it just wasn't his way... Sonic always prided himself on his cocky, aloof attitude... But I know it is just an act. In times of loss, for every life he failed to saved, every forest Robotnik destroyed, it always got to him... His eyes were always full of sadness and regret, like every life he couldn't save was one that he had taken himself. As an act to fool us, and maybe himself a little, he always acted indifferent and arrogant as usual...
But he was always around. Deep down he didn't want to be alone in those dark times. Did the loss of life make him cherish our friendships more? Did he just want to be close to protect us? I don't know, but he was never alone, not during times like this.
So I set out to find him...
You don't chase after the fastest thing alive for years without getting pretty quick yourself. Even though I have no idea what he is feeling or what is happening to him, much less what I could say or do to help; I just know I need to find him. That he needs a friend now...
So every day was the same. A quick breakfast and lunch packing, then I dash off in a random direction, not returning until it is dark again.
But after a week, I came home to a surprise. A small contingent of G.U.N. troops are waiting in a humvee outside my apartment. They looked up and approach me. I quietly drew my piko piko hammer.
"Amy Rose?" The apparent leader asks, but does not wait for a reply, they already know who I am. "We would like to request that you to come with us."
"Do you request?" I ask warily, a little sore from running all day, and hoping to avoid a fight. "Or do you demand?"
"Request." He says stiffly. "We've been ordered to offer you escort to HQ. It is about Sonic."
It had only been a week since I had seen him, but with no news from anyone, I was desperate for any news.
So I went with them...
After countless checkpoints, hallways and security doors, I was led into a dark room, lit only with the pale light from the hall, and a simple projector in the center of the room. As such the only visible features were a white screen for the projector, and a chair to one side.
The door closed behind me. "MISS AMY ROSE," a scrambled voice said from the darkness behind the projector, it's light blinding any attempts to see the source. "BEFORE WE BEGIN, I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND YOU ARE IN NO WAY A PRISIONER HERE. IF AT ANY TIME YOU WISH TO LEAVE, YOU MUST ONLY SAY SO AND YOU WILL BE RELEASED."
I was a bit startled by the voice. I was fairly certain that no one had followed me into the room, so whoever was using the voice-masker had been waiting for me in the dark. And though I couldn't see, I heard the sounds of only one other person, so I was fairly confident my host and I were alone. So I decided to at least hear what this mystery-person had to say.
"Okay," I said. "Now what about Sonic, what's going on?"
Instead of a response, the projector began to whirr, and the light filled with color, so I turned to face the screen.
There he was. In some sort of forest.
"Sonic..." I gasped.
He crouched down into a runner's starting position and held it for a moment, before running.
But instead of a blue blur flashing off into the distance, he moved at a much slower, stumbling pace. He must've gone about one hundred meters in about thirteen seconds.
There was no way he could be that slow...
"WHAT YOU ARE WATCHING HAS NOT BEEN SLOWED DOWN IN ANY WAY," the scrambled voice said as if it could read my thoughts. "THIS FOOTAGE WAS RECORDED BY A SPY DRONE EARLIER TODAY. FOR ONE REASON OR ANTOHER, IT SEEMS LIKE SONIC HAS LOST HIS INCREDIBLE SPEED."
It couldn't be true... Sonic without his speed?
He would sooner die...
Don't misunderstand. Sonic has many amazing qualities, and I would love him no less if he were without his trademark speed.
But that is not how he views himself...
Speed is everything to him: power, control, peace, joy, life... To say he sees it as all of what he is would be an understatement... To lose his speed would be to lose all sense of himself...
"Why..." I said in growing anger. "What did you do to him?!"
"I ASSURE YOU," the scrambler squawked. "WE HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT OBSERVE. IN FACT WE WISH TO HELP HIM. BUT TO DO SO..."
"You need my help..." I guessed.
"Correct Miss Rose." the voice said without its masking as the lights raised slowly to reveal to me too late who I had been alone with for far too long...
"Eggman!" I drew my piko piko and braced myself for an attack...
An attack that never came...
"I can hardly blame your reaction..." Dr. Robotnik said with what may have been genuine sadness... "But believe it or not, I truly do wish to help him. I've done so much wrong in my search for knowledge, it is time for me to do some good."
I did not put my hammer away, nor did I relax my tensed muscles. "Why?" I growled. "Why should I trust you? You've done nothing that didn't serve you in some way. What is there to gain by doing this?"
He looked away for a moment. "Redemption," he said quietly.
In spite of myself, I relaxed a little. Could he be telling the truth? Does he truly regret all the evil he's done?
"I wish I could tell you more," he said after a brief pause. "I really do, and I know I'm the last one who should ask this, but I need you to trust me. For Sonic's sake."
I glanced again at the projection screen out of the corner of my eye. There he was, still trudging at a comparably slow pace. His disappointment and self-loathing evident in his eyes.
For Sonic, I would work with the devil himself...
So I did...
--------------------
I played my role...
I said my lines...
And I did my part in the greatest lie Sonic had ever suffered...
And I did it in the darkest hour of his life thus far...
And somehow, I knew that thanks to me... it would only get darker...
I don't know what happened after I fled Eggman's "base", but I regretted my actions immediately. I had helped our worst foe capture the one I loved. So I truly did run off to seek our friends. We had taken down Robotnik and G.U.N. before, we would do it again.
But for all his evil, the doctor was a genius, and anticipated my actions. After I had run for about half an hour, a black G.U.N. helicopter zoomed overhead and landed in front of me. A small platoon of soldiers climbed out.
Then Eggman himself exited the vehicle, a slight smirk on his face...
And suddenly fearing the worst, something inside me snapped...
I leapt at him, brandishing the piko piko.
The platoon was on me instantly, and thought I was vastly outnumbered they could only barely hold me back.
"You bastard!" I snarled as I hopelessly struggled to free myself. "What did you do to him?! If you've hurt him, I swear you shall pay!" But my screams of anger quickly turned to sobs of despair as I remembered that it was as much my fault as it was his. If not more so.
"I assure you," he said. "Sonic is fine. The experiment was a, limited, success..."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" I shouted. "No wait, you can't tell me, but you wish you could, right?"
He ignored me. "We could not restore his speed. But he will get back up to speed on his own with time. Do not concern yourself. The whole experience will seem little more than a dream to him."
"Oh yeah?" I said between sobs. "Well what's keeping me from running right back to him and telling him everything?!"
His answer surprised me. "Trust, nothing more. You trusted me and my intentions. I trust you to do what you think is right."
I stopped fighting and fell limp, unsure of all that had happened and what to do next.
"Just..." he said after a pause. "Make him happy. Make his next days happy, he has rough times ahead..."
And with that, they all reentered the copter and took off. Leaving me there like the spiritually-broken animal that I was...
--------------------
In the end I did trust him. I went home and cried myself to sleep every night.
As he had predicted, three weeks later, Sonic came back of his own free will. I wanted to cry... To tell him everything... To beg for his forgiveness...
But then something amazing happened...
He hugged me...
To him it must've been little more than a courteous gesture, like throwing scraps to a begging puppy.
But it meant everything to me...
Such an open showing of affection and care without provocation...
And his eyes shone with that familiar happiness...
I couldn't do it...
Though it would've been for the best, though I regret not telling him to this day, I could not bring myself to break his joy... Especially if Robotnik was telling the truth...
I feigned my usual upbeat attitude, but I was crying inside. Already it had felt like I continued to fail him, to betray him...
But in the end, all I ever wanted was for him to be happy...
So I held my peace...
--------------------
And then came that day...
The day Shadow, still in his Super form, returned to face Sonic for reasons none of us could understand.
The day I died...
We arrived in time to witness Sonic shattering the Chaos Emeralds and becoming Chaos Sonic. The sound was deafening as he crushed the gems, and a wave of invisible force threw me backwards. I looked up and gasped in surprise.
His eyes glowed with an unearthly power, what ever he had become, he was no longer the Sonic I loved.
I watched in horror as he took to the sky and fought his former ally, flying off in some random direction.
And I knew this was all my fault...
So I ran after them.
"Amy?!" Knuckles called after me.
But I didn't slow down. "They're going to kill each other!" I simply shouted. "We have to stop them! they shouldn't be fighting!"
I didn't look back to see if they followed me...
I didn't look down at where I was going...
I just looked at the soaring lights in the sky...
And I followed them wherever they flew as best I could...
After a few minutes, the two clashed together and plummeted to earth a short distance away behind a pile of rubble.
I gasped as the force of their landing threw me back. But only for a moment, as I began to run on again.
But something held me back...
I looked behind me and saw Knux holding my left arm, gasping from the effort of chasing me. The others were fast catching up to us. "Amy..." He gasped. "Those two are fighting with so much power and energy... It's not safe..."
He didn't understand... Something was about to happen, something horrible...
Something I had helped cause...
To Sonic...
I couldn't let that happen...
I wouldn't!
With my right arm, I drew my hammer and struck Knuckles, causing him to let me go long enough to run on...
There he was... The thing Sonic had become.
It's right arm, a misshapen claw of multicolored crystal, had clamped onto Shadow and began to shake slightly. More and more gems tore through Sonic's flesh, slowly covering him like a spreading plague, while Shadow's brilliant aura faded...
And he laughed...
Chaos Sonic laughed in a horrific otherworldly voice...
"He's IS going to kill him..." I realized in terror.
I charged down to them. "No Sonic! DON'T!"
But he didn't listen, he couldn't hear me...
And he kept laughing...
Not knowing what else to do, I smashed my hammer into a large diamond jutting out of his back.
The scream was ear-splitting, and like no sound any living creature had ever made...
But slowly, almost unnoticeably, the voice changed to his own cry of agony.
His claw had released Shadow, who flew off into the distance to recover.
And slowly the monster turned to face me...
Eyes full or rage, vengeance and pain...
But they were HIS eyes...
"Sonic..." I whispered ever so softly.
I wanted to tell him...
To tell him of my part in the horrible lie that had been played on him...
To beg his forgiveness...
But somehow, I could tell...
He already knew...
He knew I had lied, had betrayed him, the one he thought I loved...
But I did... I do... I just...
Suddenly, the claw whirled around and gripped my throat and lifted me off the ground...
This was no monster... It was Sonic...
Sonic truly wanted to kill me...
...
If that is truly what he wanted... It was certainly what I deserved...
Knuckles, Rouge and Tails fought fiercely to free me, but Sonic ignored them.
Didn't they realize this is what I wanted?
I would gladly give my life to Sonic...
So if that's what he wants...
Then I shall...
My one last regret was that I lacked the strength to warn him of Shadow rapidly approaching as my life spiraled into darkness...
--------------------
I wanted to die...
I thought I had died...
But my foolish body kept on living...
So here I lay in purgatory...
Not alive, but not dead...
Awake, yet unconscious...
Praying for a release that will never come...
Yet welcoming the punishment I have been given...
Day in, day out...
Forever...
--------------------
I truly did love him...
"Amy, quit kidding around."
Despite the fact that I only seemed to bring him discomfort...
"Amy, leave me alone."
All this time I loved him so much...
"Amy, stop it."
That I never saw, or refused to see...
"Amy, I don't love you."
That he never loved me...
He always hated you...
He always ran from me...
You were never more than an annoyance...
But it always felt so right... I loved him... I DO love him so much...
Yet all these years, your love has gone unreturned...
There is nothing worse than loving one who despises you...
He wanted to kill you... Wanted you to die...
And I failed him, even in that...
You love him so, yet all you ever do is fail him...
...
So the question is, if he loathes you so, why do you love him?
I don't know, love is not something that can be turned on or off, you simply love who you love...
Exactly, love cannot be forced. One cannot be made to love something they don't...
Yet, I tried. I hoped that I could change him, could make him love me...
When deep down you knew, you always knew, that could never happen.
He never will love me, will he?
No...
...
So why do you struggle to live? You want to die, but somewhere you want to live as well...
...
What reason do you have to live?
... Because, because I love him...
Yet knowing he can never love you back, you wish to go on with your hopeless affection?
... Yes. It is his determination, his truth to himself that I love. And this love, one-sided as it may be, would be enough for him...
Will it be for you?
It has to be. Even if he won't love me, he is suffering. He needs his friends... Even me...
...
I love him. I love you Sonic! You hear me! I love you! And nothing you can do will ever change that!
...
--------------------
"Amy, you need to wake up..."
--------------------
"Sonic...?"
"Huh? AMY?!" A voice I thought long forgotten fills my ears.
"Tails," I reply weakly. "Is that you?"
"Amy! You're awake!" Overcome with emotion, he hugs me gently.
I try to return the embrace, but my muscles have atrophied from disuse. It is painful to speak, and anything needing more effort than breathing is near impossible.
But I am back...
I am alive...
For better or for worse...
"Hey Tails," I say in a raspy voice. Millions of questions fly through my head. 'What are you doing here? How is everyone? How long has it been?
But one question takes priority over all others. "Where is Sonic?"
His elated face quickly turns into a sad frown. "He... He's here Amy... He's in the hospital. He's in real bad shape..."
"Please Tails," I say. "Can I go see him?"
"Amy, please," be begs. "You just woke up, you should be resting. And seeing him like this would be quite a shock."
"I know..." I wheeze with a pleading look. "But please, I need to see him... please..."
He sighs, the internal conflict obviously disturbing him. I pains me to pressure him so, but I needed to see him. I had to see Sonic...
"Okay..." he finally says, his head hung in defeat. "I'll go get a wheelchair..."
"Thank you..." I say, but it comes so softly he doesn't hear me.
That or he just ignored me...
In a matter of minutes, we are outside a large door.
"Are you sure about this Amy? He's in real bad shape..."
I want to say no. I'm tired and woozy from being upright for the first time in too long. And for Tails to repeat himself like that... I must be terrible...
Why should I care? He doesn't love me anyways...
...But I do love him...
"Yes Tails, I'm sure."
He pushes my chair into the door, opening it inward. Immediately my ears are filled with a cacophony of beeps, whirs and clicks of countless machines .
Whatever it is that's laying there, entangled in a web of wires and tubes, it can't be Sonic.
It can't be...
"His right arm..." Tails begins as he turns away from Sonic and I. "It was nothing but bone and scar tissue. It had to be removed to hold back infection. He's got countless wounds where the emeralds were embedded in his skin. They're not healing too well... His heart's still beating, but he needs to be on a ventilator to help him breathe..."
I look away from Sonic, and see that Tails is shaking with the effort to keep from crying. With remarkable effort, I place my hand on his. "It's okay..." I whimper, trying not to make it harder on him by weeping too. "Thank you so much Tails... I'm thankful to you for bringing me to see him. I have only one last favor, can you leave us for a moment?"
He silently nodded and left without facing me. The poor fox must be crying his eyes out...
Not that I'm that far off, Sonic looks like little more than a blue blur... How ironic that he's not moving, but looks the same...
"Hey Sonic" I say with a slight sob. "I missed you. I wonder what had happened to you. What you felt, what you saw...
"I'm sorry Sonic," I choke out. "I'm so sorry I lied to you. That I hid the truth from you, even in your darkest hour. I don't know what Eggman did to you, but I wish I had no part of it...
"You probably hate me don't you?" I listened for his reply, but all I heard was the sounds of the hospital equipment. "It's okay. I'd hate me too. But you know what Sonic? It doesn't matter...
"Because I love you...
"I always teased how we would marry, flirted with you, and chased you wherever you went. But I truly do love you. That's why it doesn't matter how you feel. I love you, and I always will. Even if you never love me, you will always be a source of strength to me.
"But I will respect your wishes... Should you ask me to not chase you, I won't... If you tell me to not talk to you, I'll stop...
"And if you tell me you never want to see me ever again..." I paused and gasped at the mere thought of it. But if he ever did wish it...
"Then it will be so...
"But first," I finally said after taking a moment to regain my composure. "You have to wake up to tell me anything.
"So please," I say between gasps of sadness. "You have to wake up. Even if not for me, for Tails, Knuckles, Rouge and Shadow. They need you. I need you...
"So please wake up... Please..." I collapse in a sobbing heap on top of him. "Please promise me you'll wake up..."
And for a short moment all is silent. Then the only sound is an aquamarine Chaos Emerald that falls from my grasp and clatters onto the floor...
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A/N: Whew, sorry that took me forever, but it's been the month from heck. Between moving, two family trips, a business trip AND my laptop dieing (AFTER I wrote this chapter out, of course... It REALLY bites when you have to write a chapter twice, especially one as long as this...) I just took forever, sorry.
Also, I must admit, I've found a new vice. Final Fantasy XI. If you're ever in ol' Vana'diel, Slyph server, drop Thag or Redemption a line, you'd make my day.
Flabbergasted: Yeah, I worried Shadow wanting to kill himself over losing his speed wouldn't be too plausible. but like I said in chapter one, I think that Speed is more than his defining trait, he truly sees it as most, if not all, of what he is.
Kirby-Chan263: I know, sorry. I'm actually a Sonic fan too, but (obviously by now) I really wanted to save him for last. He's the star, and the largest focus of the Chaos Emeralds. I PROMISE, that he's next!
Pink Shimmer: Yep, Amy was next, YOU BEEN PEEKING AT MY NOTES?!?! But I'm using the more recent video game universe's rules with seven emeralds, so one emerald left, and a certain blue hedgehog whose fate hangs in the balance... Stay tuned!
Void99: You can't rush perfection, but you can't attain it either. I just try my best to make an interesting story. I'm glad you like it.
Az The Dragon: Yeah, Chaos rules! I'm hoping he'll come back in a future Sonic game, Tikal too. But yeah, it seems my stories are getting a little "preachy" with morals and stuff... Not my original intention, but I hope it works out for you, the readers.
Personally I LOVED writing this chapter, (and since you guys love the ones I hate, this one should flop...) even though I had to do it TWICE! Sorry it's so long, but with the story reaching its end (10 chapters, just like part one) there's a lot of ground to cover still. Keep reviewing guys and gals, I need your input to keep me on my toes!
Thanks for reading,
thag-the-upset
