a/n: Sorry it's late but I've been struggling with this story (not the words or the plot), but with the motivation to keep going = this was only meant to be short (and still might be in comp to my other stories) but my wordiness is getting in the way...anyway, thanks for reading...much love xxx


The rest of the laborious drive was filled with a fraught self-induced silence and by the time we finally parked up in front of an unsurprisingly opulent house, I simply didn't have it in me to produce any of the usually expected platitudes.

All along I had pictured myself leaping to my freedom once we finally pulled to a stop, but if anything, now that the time was here the very opposite was true. I had told myself repeatedly that once we left this journey behind, whatever weird emotion I had tied to Jasper would be cut free. I wanted to share my thoughts with him, to let him know that I was moving on from our nothing moment in the woods and the only way I knew to do that was with distance, but I didn't open my mouth to speak and he made no indication he wished to leave. So we sat silently for a few minutes longer, each absorbed in our own world of thoughts.

Jasper moved first and instead of feeling like I'd let something important slip through my fingers, I watched his muscular body climb the wooden stairs to our new home and felt like I'd finally done something right.

I knew for sure now that I had been too stuck on the strange way I seemed to react when he was around and I was weaker for it. It was time to let go of what could never be and place my energy into something that had to be. So with one steady breath, I turned my focus from the man in front of me, to one who was avoiding me from thousands of miles away.

No doubt having been instructed by Esme on the rules of etiquette, Jasper gave me a brief tour of the property and like a good little guest I trailed behind; nodding and making small nonsensical noises when it looked like he needed a response.

"So this one is going to be yours I guess." Jasper offered as we slowed to a halt outside an unremarkable dark wood door. I reached my hand out with uncertainty to touch the grain; feeling like that final step to integrate myself into their world was poised on the other side. I could feel Jasper lingering behind me, so even though I didn't feel like I wanted to, I pushed the door open revealing a large open room within. There was no furniture inside, but a soft light poured in from large French windows and the view beyond was spectacular.

I felt Jasper retreat somewhere else in the house and so with a small mental nudge I pushed my feet into the space that he'd called mine. I wasn't sure whether it was right or wrong to feel a tingle of happiness as I imagined just how it would be to curl up on a large soft bed, to sit reading with the doors wide open and a cool breeze flowing in. My body automatically pulled me to the doors leading out onto a small veranda, where I found much like their previous home, the back yard was immense; though without Esme's strict gardening regimen it was wilder, more heathen in its honesty.

Leaving behind the safe confines of my room, I wound my way quickly through the house to find myself down at the back porch. I had only seen it from a distance, but sat just at the corner edge of the garden was an immense, enchanting tree. Walking closer I spotted my branch immediately, higher than the roof of the imposing house and offering a great view of the world beyond. Though my room was nice I knew instantaneously I had found my new home.

Lying out on the branch I'd coveted from the ground, I closed my eyes and listened to the familiar sounds of nature. From a few miles back in the forest I could hear the dull distinctive roar of a waterfall and judging from the sound of it not a small one. Animals meandered unassumingly and leaves rustled in the melody of the wind. While I was aware of almost everything around me, it wasn't hard to miss Jasper talking quietly on his cell phone indoors, telling Alice all about the trials of our laborious journey.

I tried to focus back on the roar in the woods but it was no use and as I heard lingering words of love followed by light footsteps, I knew my solitude wasn't going to last for long.

"Bella, do you want to go and see Eleazar soon, the Denali's live a few hours run from here and Carlisle thinks he might have more insight into your anomalies?"

I didn't ask how he knew where to find me, as I'd sensed no hesitancy in his steps, but I found I didn't particularly want to look his way either.

"Can we go tomorrow Jasper? If you wouldn't mind I'd like to just be alone." I replied coolly but he made no steps to move and I forced my eyes to focus solely on the branch above, hoping to wait him out.

Days of almost entire silence had clearly been wearing on Jasper and in truth the distance between us had been exhausting, but I knew that it was necessary. Each moment of each day seemed to be spent either trying to keep my distance from him, or chastising myself for thinking about him in any context at all.

"Please come down, I spoke to Alice and she told me Edward's back. Emmett and Rosalie were held up by Esme asking for their help, but everyone should be arriving in a few days and I don't know about you but I think I'd like to spend at least some of that time not feeling like shit."

The coarseness of his words turned my head immediately and I found him sitting below me, leaning casually against the tree as he picked at the grass beside him.

"What do you mean?" I asked, my words so quiet that a part of me almost hoped he wouldn't hear.

"C'mon Bella, I'm not a fucking idiot. I know somethings up with you, and if you don't want to share, that's fine. But you're running so hot and cold that I can't…" He stalled and I found my body twisting even further to catch the nuances of his movements, not realising I would be caught out when he lifted his head, his eyes meeting mine with a hard honesty.

"…I can't figure out if it's you, or it's me and normally I would just be able to fix whatever the fuck was up, but I can't and it's driving me fucking insane." He finished and I couldn't do anything but tear my eyes away.

"Fine, we'll go see Carlisle's friend." I offered stubbornly, ignoring every ounce of sincerity he'd just laid as my feet.

I couldn't help but be afraid of what Eleazar would say. According to Carlisle he would probably be able to tell me why I looked so different; so human. But I didn't want to know. What if James had been right? What if something had gone wrong and I wasn't what I was meant to be? Perfectly content to remain in my ignorance I hoped Jasper would find frustration in my unwillingness to indulge him, but his response was spoken brusquely before pulling himself to his feet slowly and stalking back to the house.

"We leave in five, be ready."

Jasper returned what felt like precisely five minutes later and a little begrudgingly I climbed from my branch, dropping down gracefully to the grass, landing a few feet from where he stood. His face was turned slightly from mine, staring at something unknown in the woods, but I could clearly see the tension in his features, his lips pressed together to form a thin line.

"Is everything okay?" I asked without thinking, his strange behaviour catching me a little off guard as he kept his eyes trained to the distance.

"Yeah I think so, I thought I could sense something but I guess I was wrong." He turned to me with his words and threw me a meagre smile, one which clearly stated that whatever words he was trying to fob me off with, they certainly weren't the truth.

I didn't have a chance to question his honesty though, as not a moment later I was watching his back as he flew off into the forest, leaving me fighting to keep up.

It felt nice to run in silence, the darkening dusk night heavy with life as we sprinted towards the moonlight. I felt my spirits lift and begin to soar with the freedom of running. I was happy to be spending time with Jasper in a companionable state, though I could think of nothing to relieve the tension that I felt the remainder of the time when I was with him. I watched him as he lithely moved around tightly packed trees and seeing him take on a new direction, I followed quickly behind.

From my new vantage point I watched as Jasper slowed slightly, before coming to a sudden stop.

"Were you watching me?" He asked as he whirled around and I nodded, his tone had been slightly accusatory and I wasn't sure if I had offended him.

I waited in silence as felt his eyes on me like fire. I had no idea why we had stopped, as I could sense no sign of life around us other than the small animals who inhabited the surrounding forestry.

"You're happy." He stated and I felt myself coil inwards as I immediately worried over how he knew and why from his tone this was clearly so wrong.

"I can feel it." He added in that same cold voice and I felt my insides turn directly to jelly. My first instinct was to stumble back, to put some distance between us so that he wouldn't have access to anything internal and my second was to feel a rush of fear strike my spine. I hadn't really thought about them for days, but with a flash of The Volturi's warning in my mind, suddenly my whole world felt like it was falling apart. If Jasper could feel my emotions then he would feel my contempt when Edward touched me, he would know that behind a feigned smile was something a little closer to repulsion; in short, he would know everything.

I couldn't pull myself back from a whirlwind of panic and so when Jasper took a step towards me with his palms raised in the air, I did the only thing I physically could, I turned and ran.

I could feel him chasing me and so my feet pushed me a little faster, my muscles burning just a little more. I didn't want him to catch me, couldn't face what he would know when he did, but it was also inevitable.

I had barely managed to put any distance between us at all when I felt a solid weight tackle me and push me unceremoniously into the forest floor. I kicked and scrambled, clawed and fought, but he was simply too strong to resist.

Finally I let my body go limp, but his arms didn't let go. He was holding me and all I could feel was a swirl of panic and desire, and then realising he would feel those things an added deluge of panic set in. I was completely out of control and the stern look of concentration on his face wasn't helping things either.

"Stop it!" I yelled and began to struggle once again but his hard grip never let up and I knew if I were human he would have broken my bones with his bare hands.

His eyes darkened as I stilled once again and this time I forced myself to calm, knowing there was nothing I could do. If Jasper could feel my emotions, then there was no reason why Edward wouldn't hear my thoughts. I was done.

Fear turned to acceptance and just as suddenly as it did, I caught Jasper's eyes flicker with interest.

"Please just let me go." I begged, meeting his gaze full on as he silently assessed each facet of me he had access to.

"Why do I get the feeling if I do that I'll never see you again?" He asked and I turned away.

"Because you won't." I answered plainly and his features contorted again, giving me just a glimpse of his concealed frustration.

"I won't let you go until you promise to stay, at least until Alice gets back. You guys are close and I know she can help you through this." I didn't want to tell him that Alice was the absolute last person I wanted to see but judging from the way his eyes narrowed slightly, he had already sensed that in my emotions.

"Let me go and stop doing that." I commanded angrily, feeling a little smidge of victory when his grip loosened slightly.

"Promise you won't leave." He retaliated and I had no reply. I couldn't promise because he would sense my lie.

"Would Carlisle's friend know why you can do this all of a sudden?" I asked, clinging to a small iota of hope that maybe if he did, he might also know a way to make it go away too.

"He might." Jasper replied and as he sprung back easily to his feet, I knew we were both certain I wouldn't leave until I knew for sure.

"Let's go then." I said while waving my hand impatiently and as Jasper took off with only a hint of hesitation, I spent the rest of our run trying to concentrate on feeling absolutely nothing at all. But it was useless and was almost as though I could see every emotion I had ever felt flowing in the currents I created in the air around me.

When we finally arrived I found the Denali home was far more dramatic than either of the Cullen homes had been. We were welcomed in with bright smiles and found the beautiful white and silver furniture covered the interior, a minimalist extravagance that left me feeling cold. The Denali's clearly enjoyed a less homely and more modern twist to their abodes.

Three beautiful females stood watching us with interest as Jasper waxed lyrical with an handsome older vampire who I assumed was Eleazar. I didn't understand if they expected me to feel intimidated by their watchful eyes, because even though the welcome had been friendly enough, they certainly weren't sure about me. I took a small step to stand closer to Jasper and caught a flicker in Eleazer's attentions, seemingly intrigued by my movements.

"Eleazar, I would like you to meet Isabella, our newest family member." Jasper offered as he swept his hand back to include me in their conversation.

"Isabella, it is a pleasure." Eleazar outstretched his hand towards me and though I was done with the forced humanity I kept finding in this bizarre existence, I didn't want to appear rude. Taking his slightly cold hand in her own, I absently thought about much colder Eleazar felt than Jasper.

"Thank you for meeting with us." I managed to mumble out as I felt all the eyes in the room centre on me.

Eleazar motioned for us to follow him as he took a seat on a pristine white sofa. Sitting on the other side of Jasper, I noted that the sofa felt as uncomfortable as it looked, the Denali's obviously didn't have a video game playing Emmett in their midst, as he would never stand for this.

"Jasper, I would like to speak to Isabella privately, if she is comfortable with that?" I looked between Eleazar and Jasper and couldn't help but feel that Eleazar had been asking for Jasper's permission which baffled me slightly. Looking to Jasper to see if he could offer any insights, I saw he was looking at me, asking for my permission. What if I said no, I wondered.

"That would be fine Eleazar." Jasper finally responded and as I tried not to overthink everything I stood to show I was ready for our private chat. Eleazar followed my lead and then led me through the house to a study, very similar to Carlisle's, but more clinical in its projection. Watching Eleazar sit, I remained standing, feeling too restless to be static.

"Please Isabella, take a seat, I really would like you to feel at home here."

Reluctantly I took the seat directly across from him, his intense gaze keeping me from truly taking his words to heart and relaxing.

"Isabella, I am sure Carlisle has informed you of what my gift is. May I ask you some questions?"

As I nodded Eleazar began. "Do you recall if your eyes were this color when you were human?"

"I don't believe so, I was just as shocked by my appearance as everyone else seems to be, I believe they were brown."

He paused for several moments, looking me over in obvious interest before laying his hands down on the desk, his body pushing the chair back in relaxation.

"Your appearance doesn't appear to be a gift. Quite simply put I believe it is a defence mechanism. You look more human than any vampire I have ever seen, you're warm and you're scent is quite confusing. I believe you are, in a manner, imitating a human. You will probably find that humans don't fear you as they will others of our kind, but vampires will also probably be perplexed by you. Though we try to fit in with the human world, they are never quite sure of us; an age old instinct lingers in their instincts, warning them against us. You would be very useful in the wrong hands dear and I would warn you against those who might seek to exploit your differences."

"You look confused Isabella, am I not explaining very well." He asked when he was met with stony silence.

I couldn't help but feel a little lost, the Volturi had shown little interest in me and everyone else seemed to feel I was faulty, not special.

"Isabella, there is something known in the animal kingdom as Batesian mimicry; where a harmless species has evolved to mimic the characteristics of a predator species. Here let me write that down for you so you can do some research of your own." He reached for a pen and began to scribble down words on a blank sheet of creamy paper.

"So I'm harmless?" I asked, finally breaking my silence as I tried to gather the pieces of what he was trying to tell me.

Eleazar couldn't help but laugh aloud at what I presumed he saw as innocence.

"Hardly dear! You are quite possibly more dangerous than any of us. No, I believe your appearance is quite to opposite to the Batesian mimicry. You are the epitome of the predator imitating the prey. Quiet deadly I'm certain. But I believe it might be more a tool to distract vampires from your existence than to lure humans to it, especially if you are weaker in other ways. I could be wrong but as I said before I believe it is a defence mechanism so to speak"

I nodded understanding a little better, but anxious to return home to look up the Batesian thing Eleazar kept bringing up.

"So, would you like to know about your gift?" He asked politely and I nodded once in response knowing already what he would say.

"You are a shield dear, a very powerful one it would seem…but you already knew that didn't you?" He asked rhetorically, his intuition leaving us in silence as he obviously waited to hear the question I truly wanted answering.

"Jasper can feel my emotions. He couldn't…well not at first anyway, or he said he couldn't. But today, on the way here, he did…how can I stop it?" I asked, my body leaning forward slightly as I so desperately wanted to hear the solution.

"You can't." He replied simply and I felt my whole body sink in defeat. It wasn't the answer I wanted or needed and immediately I turned my thoughts to running. I was already on my feet before he had a chance to say anymore and as my hand curled around the door knob, I heard his parting words.

"Not unless you don't want him to."

I turned quickly but his eyes were full of something that looked a little too close to sympathy for my liking.

"That can't be right because trust me, I categorically don't want him feeling anything." I replied, my fists curled up as I tried to control the swirl of emotional confusion burning inside me.

"Well the only one letting him in is you, so whether you want to hear it or not, you're the only one who can stop letting him in. If I were you, I would spend my time worrying why you have chosen to let your shield down with Jasper, not how" His words were spoken gently but I was too stuck on the realisation that he couldn't help me fix it and so I nodded curtly and left, all the while screaming at him in my head that he was wrong. There was nothing more I wanted in the world and for some reason or other, that wasn't enough to make it stop.