Emma raced to the door, throwing herself inside with a loud cry for help that echoed throughout the entire palace. A group came running, Richard stopping frozen at the sight of the child before them. He had no doubt in his mind on who the child was. She looked just like the woman he loved, her hair long and beautiful. Her green dress was ripped in many places, his first thought, had she not been covered in blood, would have been she ripped it in a wild game. She was stained in blood, but from the way she moved, it was quickly shown not to be hers and panic flooded him. The instant she saw him approaching, she turned and ran, knowing he would follow and he did. They didn't go far before he saw the white dress of the Mother Confessor, but unlike all of the others, he continued to get closer.
"Spirits, Kahlan!" he half shouted, half cried as he dropped down to his knees at her side.
The sight made him sick, but it was only the beginning. Emma had done her best to shield the wounds, parts of her own clothing ripped and laid over her mother, stopping a small portion of the bleeding and preventing exposure. Her head turned toward the sound of his voice, an action her daughter didn't miss. He whispered something in her ear as his hand went from her forehead to her hair, a simple gesture that comforted her completely.
"Richard get away from her!" one of the woman behind him shouted. "She's weak, her magic could be released at any moment!"
"Then she releases it!" he snapped back angrily. Meeting the young girl's eyes, the Seeker gave a brief smile. "I'm going to take care of her." He lifted Kahlan into his arms with ease, perfectly avoiding the worst of the wounds as he turned and began to carry her inside.
The others wouldn't go near her, but did as Richard asked, bringing him what he needed and laying it down at the foot of the bed. He cleaned the wounds while the small Confessor watched from a chair at the head of the bed, close to where he worked. She watched carefully, noticing the way he wouldn't flinch when she moved and the way the ones at the door did. He studied her carefully, pulling gently on the pieces of skin that barely hung attached until he could remove them without more pain. When she groaned, he apologized, quickly as though she could hear him and then he began to talk.
He spoke to her as he would if she was awake, telling her that if she died, he would walk into the Underworld and pull her back out, a statement that brought a small smile to her daughter's face.
When he felt the wound to be clean enough, he knelt down and slowly pressed his hand against the wet cloth that kept it covered. Closing his eyes, he allowed himself to bring forth his magic, soaking in her pain as he breathed. Emma watched, enthralled by the action. She could see the matching pain on their faces, but he didn't stop. Kahlan gasped for air and hissed, but again, he didn't stop.
"Richard, no!" another shouted, distracting him jut long enough for his hand to leave her body the instant her magic flew free. "Stop! She will heal on her own!"
"We don't know that!" he shouted back. "I'm not going to sit back and allow her to die! I'd rather be confessed than lose her!"
The room grew silent for a moment, the oldest of the women straightening her back in anger. "You will not touch the Mother Confessor again. If the Spirits wish her to pass, we must allow it to happen."
"No!" Emma shouted in anger, her hands balled so tightly they were white-hot. "Get out!" she screamed as she threw out her right hand, shoving the others back as the door closed. Richard turned slowly toward the young girl, confused beyond his minds understanding. "It's my fault mommy... Please help me."
Nodding, he pushed his questions from his mind and knelt back to Kahlan's side, going back to work.
He lost his balance as he finished, stumbling back slightly as he pulled away. Emma reached out to stabilize him, her eyes never leaving her mother's face.
"Thank you..."
"It's not your fault," he whispered.
"Yes it is. I didn't listen and now... I thought I could help, but I got scared." Looking over to him, she blinked through her tears. "If she hadn't been telling me to run, it never would- If I hadn't froze sheda killed it!" She was crying heavier now, her words barely understandable.
Coming closer to her, he took hold of her hands the way he always did Kahlan's when she was upset. "She wouldn't blame you. She knows you wanted to help."
She stared down at their hands, surprised that he touched her willingly. "Why- Why aren't you afraid of us?"
Richard smiled for a moment. "Why should I be? Do you have a weapon I should-"
"My magic."
"Which magic?" he found himself asking, hoping for answers.
"I'm a Confessor."
"And a wizard."
"Mommy said it would be possible," she replied quietly.
With a soft sigh, he squeezed her hands a little tighter. "You want to know why I'm not afraid of your magic?" She nodded at once, hoping for an answer. "Just because you have magic, doesn't mean you're going to go around hurting people with it. We are all capable of hurting each other and we do not need magic to do so. Why should I fear you more than I do anyone else?"
"You're strange," she whispered through a partial smile.
Grinning, he held out his hand for her to shake. "Hi, I'm Richard."
"I'm Emma," she giggled as she took hold of his big hand.
"Nice to meet you, Emma!" He watched her eyes dart to the bed in concern. "Do you want to lay with her? I'm sure she could use the comfort."
"I don't want to hurt her."
"You won't," he assured her softly. "Here, I'll help you."
Richard stayed at her bedside, listening quietly as Emma apologized again and again, hoping her mother heard her. Kahlan remained still, her breathing picking up slowly with each intake.
After a few hours, the young girl sat up and looked over to him. "Do you want to lay with her?"
He wanted to lay at her side more than anything, but he wasn't sure that he should. He wasn't sure that it was the right thing to do. "I don't know," he replied through a whisper. "I'm not sure she would want me to."
"Can I sit with you?"
"If you'd like to."
She moved quickly and didn't hesitate as she crawled onto his lap. Leaning against him, she curled herself up and for what felt like the first time, she relaxed. "Thank you."
"For what?" It was a reflexed response, instantly understanding the moment the words left his lips.
"Fixing her."
"I wouldn't let her die," he stated as his mind replayed what the others had said.
Turning her head, she looked up at him. "Because you like her?"
He nodded without pause, licking his lips slowly. "I love her."
"Oh."
"What's only been months for me has been years for her..."
Returning her head to his shoulder, she looked back to her mother. "She talks about you sometimes. She said that if I was ever in trouble, you would be the one I trust."
"She did?"
"Yeah. She says I'll understand when I'm older, but... I have to stay here for a while."
"Because of your magic?"
"I don't want it," she said quickly, pulling back to look at him once more. "I can't play with Lauren anymore, I- Everyone's afraid of me, I don't want to be a Confessor. I want to be a wizard, like you."
Richard frowned, but nodded. "You have a hard choice to make, then."
"Mommy said I need to think about it, but I don't want-"
"She's right," he interrupted softly. "If you give up your magic, that's not all you're losing. It's a part of you, it shapes you..."
"I hate it."
"So did she," he told her as his eyes went back to Kahlan. "She once told me that sometimes her magic made her feel like she was trapped inside of herself. When she first came into her magic... She said that she used to scare herself thinking that she would hurt someone. I know that I can't understand, not completely; but I can understand what it's like to be afraid I'll be what people fear me to be."
"What?"
"Darken Rahl. You must have heard something about him, the other Rahls... I think your mother was the only one who understood. She knows how it feels to want to be different."
"No she doesn't. She has what she wants," Emma replied.
"She does now, she has you, but there was a time when she- We wanted things to be different."
"I don't understand."
"I wanted her to take me as her mate; confess me, but she... She would have given anything to keep from hurting me. You shouldn't have to change yourself to have friends."
"You sound like her."
Richard chuckled, shifting beneath her. "Then I must be right."
"Did you want to take it away?"
"I did, for a few weeks."
"Why?"
"Because I kept hurting the people I loved." He answered quickly, deciding to tell her the truth. "I was afraid, but she- you mother stood at my side. I kept looking at her, waiting for her to tell me why she had such faith in me. I don't think I'll ever understand how she could. I always knew that magic had two sides, both living inside each of us."
"I don't understand."
"Each of us has a dark side, a part of us that is always there, sometimes whispering in our ear. But we also have the rest of ourselves, the part that wants to help others. I can help people with my magic, just like I did to Kahlan. She, she helps so many people at each breath... It's one of the things I love about her. Her heart is so big and she cares about everyone. The people in your city are family to her, she loves them all and would die in an instant for anyone of them and yet, they are still afraid of her. People turn and walk the other way when she approaches, but it doesn't stop her. Why should your magic stop you?"
"I'm not just a Confessor," she revealed softly.
With a smile, he nodded. "I noticed, but it doesn't change anything. The people are still going to need your help. It may be Confessions one day and the next they may need someone to help heal them."
Leaning forward, she turned slightly for a better look at his face. "Are you mad at her?"
"No," he said after a moment of thought. "I was, but I can understand why she didn't tell me."
"She wanted to," she said, surprising him. "But she said you were doing well." Crawling off of his lap, she knelt down to her travel pack and pulled out something very familiar. "Thank you for the present." He laughed at the sight, the horse he had carved was held firmly in her little hands, showing some battle wounds. "Mommy's had to fix her for me."
"Her? What's her name?"
"Cara!" she exclaimed happily before turning to look at her mother. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout."
"I think she'd be happy to hear your joy."
Lifting the horse closer to her chest, she grinned. "Do you have anymore? We could play together if you want to."
"She's more beautiful than the painting showed, both of you." Richard was sitting at the side of her bed, whispering his thoughts while he had a few minutes alone with her. "I wish I had been there, Kahlan. I can't imagine all of the things I've missed and you- Why didn't you tell me? Kahlan, I know you were upset with me, but... She's my daughter and I- didn't I have the right to know? I can understand how she feels right now though, but she... She can't be allowed to make this decision on her own and I know you won't want to force her to live another life, but she's too young to understand just how much good she can do." He chuckled for a moment, reaching out to touch her arm. "She's right, I do sound like you. I... Kahlan, I keep thinking, wondering what happens now? I can't ask you to wait for me, I don't have that right, but it doesn't mean that I don't want to. I want that life with you, both of you and spend the rest of my life making sure I didn't miss another moment... It's not possible, is it? Not for us. Not if I stay here, if Emma decides to change... You're needed in Aydindril to keep your people safe and I'm... I'm here, learning, while the woman I love lives on without me."
Leaning back in his chair, he sighed as he decided to change the subject. "You've raised her to be a wonderful girl," he told her. "I knew you would be a good mother. She's worried about you, too, so you have to wake up. There's so much you have to teach her, to show her and be there when she needs you." Richard suddenly smiled as he remembered a joke she had played on him, now many years ago. "She'll be back soon, she's off in the woods playing. I think she said something about finding Zedd." He knew she would hear those words and as he suspected, her arm moved.
She was definitely the type of mother who would be protective, even when she could barely move. Her head turned in his direction, her mouth parting to speak, but before she could, Richard took her hand and squeezed. "Emma's fine, I promise. She's eating with Cara in the kitchen. I'm sorry, I- I had to wake you..."
A faint smile came to her lips as she took in a breath. Her body ached, but his touch numbed more than she'd admit. He was watching her carefully, waiting to see how she was. She swallowed, a good sign since, before her mouth had been so dry, he had begun dripping water at the corners of her lips. Her jaw locked as she opened her eyes, straining to see in the light.
His face wasn't clear, but she couldn't describe the way it felt to see even a blur of him. Her body was at a cross between wanting to jump up and kiss him and remain still until the pain died. He seemed to read her thoughts and slowly lifted her arm.
Touching her hand to his right cheek, he leaned into it and smiled. "Hi."
Her smile widened as she moved her thumb over the stubble. "Hi." Her voice was a soft rasp, but he heard it clearer than his own breathing, the sound relaxing his core. "Thank you... Healing me."
"Always."
Her smile remained as she studied his face. "I've missed you."
"I've missed you, too."
Blinking, she swallowed and tried to pull him closer. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you Emma was yours."
"I know," he responded quickly. "It's alright, I think I can understand why you didn't. I only wish that I didn't miss so much of her life."
"She's just like you," Kahlan told him through a whisper. "Stubborn and smart, beautiful and kind... Sometimes it felt like you were there."
"But I wasn't."
"No," she agreed shamefully. "But I cannot change that."
"Do you know how it's felt? Kahlan, I've been thinking about you and your family for months... Wishing that somehow, it had been me."
"I didn't want to hurt you, Richard. We both know what you would have done if you knew I carried your child. You would have killed yourself to be with us."
"Would that have been so wrong?"
Lowering her hand to the bed, she frowned. "You know that we can never have that life together, no matter how much we want it. I couldn't let you give up the chance to be happy."
"I was happy with you, Kahlan."
Closing her eyes, she licked her lips to buy herself a moment to think. There was nothing she could say that would make what she did alright and she knew that, but a part of her hoped he would understand that she had done it to protected them both. "No happier than I was with you," she replied after a few breaths. "We both know what would have become of us, of you."
"You would never confess me, Kahlan. I know for certain that you wouldn't because I've asked you to."
"Many times," she teased quietly. "I can't lose you, Richard."
"I'll always be here." She struggled to turn for a moment, wanting a better look at him. "You probably shouldn't move, I don't know how well I was able to heal-"
"Lay with me?"
He didn't hesitate like she thought he would. Instead, he moved quickly and crawled up from the bottom of the bed at her side. His new position was perfect, he knew that it would be. She grabbed his arm and pulled, helping herself to turn the other way without stretching the newly healed skin in her right side. Facing him this way made her heart race and hand shake as she brought it back to his cheek. They stared at each other in silence and as though no time had passed at all.
"What are you thinking about?"
Richard smiled for a moment. "Our daughter." After a moment of soaking in the words, he leaned forward to get closer. "Kahlan, she shouldn't make this decision on her own. Not now, when she is so young or when it all seems to be at its hardest."
"I know."
"She has to know how incredible this is and how special she-"
"I've told her," she interrupted softly. "I understand what you're saying, but a young Confessor, Richard each of us wishes to be different because of the way we are feared. How can we tell her that it's not alright to want to change, when both of us have wished the same."
"I know that she wants friends, but she shouldn't have to change to have them. Kahlan we can't-"
"I won't stand in the way of her decision," she told him through a whisper. "If she is free of her magic, she can have that life she wants, she can have the life I want with you."
Richard stared at her, half in disbelief and half in adoration. The woman before him was so strong but filled with a torment that he could never really imagine. "You shouldn't have to change for someone to love you, either of you. Kahlan, I love you and you haven't confessed me, isn't that what-"
"No," she answered in a weak breathless whisper. "Sometimes that hurts more than anything else. Loving a man you can never have... You trust me so much sometimes I'm afraid I'll disappoint you."
"If you lost control in a moment of passion, it's not disappointment you'd bring out in me."
"Because you would be gone. Richard, Emma can have that life with someone, she can fall in love without fear and have a family."
"And then what happens to her children? Kahlan, I know that you want her to be happy, I do too, but there is too much to consider not just that she wants to get rid of her magic, but what makes you think she would find someone? If she did, what of their children? The magic is in her blood, it will pass down to her children, all of them. What then? How will they feel?" Releasing a sigh, he closed his eyes to calm himself down, feeling the heating of his blood. "As much as I want that life with you, if you were to give up your magic, it would be the same as you confessing me. You'd no longer be the woman I loved and who says that she can't find someone to care about her, too? She is special and I think the world will need her far more than it has us."
"I'm so afraid she's going to be unhappy."
"We'd never allow that to happen."
"And if she ends up like me?"
"Then she will be everything we ever hoped for."
A small smile came to her lips as she met his eyes, his words lingering around her ears in a warm embrace. Reaching out, she laid her hands on his chest and slowly inches forward. "Would it be wrong to kiss you?"
"Only if you stopped," he said without pause as he moved to close the distance between them.
Their lips connection passionately, the way they had many times before. Her chest was pressed against his in a breath, both hating the blanket that hid her from him. He slid his hand down her side, slowly over her form as he imagined the feel of her skin. If she hadn't needed a breath, she never would have pulled back, but when she did, she caught a glimpse of someone in the corner of her eye.
"Emma!" she half shouted just as Richard opened his eyes.
The Mother Confessor nearly laughed as he rushed to move away from her, wanting to keep their actions a secret.
"I'm sorry mommy, I shouldn't have disobeyed and-"
"This isn't your fault, Emma and you bringing me here, you saved me."
The young girl came to the side of the bed and gently took her mother's hand. "I'm sorry, mommy."
"I know and it's alright. I'm fine, see?"
With a nod, Emma looked to Richard, who was avoiding eye contact. "He saved you. You were right," she added as she looked back to her mother. "We can trust him."
Kahlan smiled, realizing that her hand was laying over his, soaking in some of his warm comfort. "Were you hurt too?"
"No, I... I'm so sorry, mommy."
Richard looked up as she pulled her hand away, watching as the two hugged. He imagined having a family for so long, one with her, but as he watched the view before him, he couldn't help but feel that it wasn't his. There was so much that he had missed, he barely knew both of them and now, when he longed to join in on the moment, he sat back on his heels.
"What did you do while I slept?" she asked as she pulled back with a smile.
Emma grinned and dropped down to the floor, picking up a set of wooden carvings. "I played with daddy! Look! He's been making these for me!" She crawled onto the bed quickly, shoving one of them in her moms hands. "This is Betty, she's a cow who likes adventure! Tom, this dog likes to play with her, they have lots of fun!" She continued to show off each one, telling them their names and a short story. Kevin, was Kahlan's favorite, reminding her of the man who remained quiet at their side. "Daddy said I needed them all to play correctly."
"Correctly?"
"They're a city, mommy," she said with a grin as she looked to Richard. "A family! They need to have each other to live!"
"And who leads their family?"
"This one!" Richard laughed as she lifted the one he had made first, her favorite. "It's the oldest!" Handing it to Richard, she handed her mother the bird, Kevin. "Do you want to play with us?"
The Mother Confessor nodded slowly and began to sit up, doing her best to pretend that she couldn't feel the surge of pain that shot through her side. "Kahlan," Richard whispered as his arm circled her waist. "you should move slower, I may not have been able to heal you completely."
"You tried," the young girl stated. "No one else did." Her shoulders slouched as her mother straightened her back, grabbing Richard's arm for support. "They wanted him to leave you out there... They didn't care if you died."
"Emma-"
"Why didn't they care? They were so afraid you'd confess them! But you didn't! You didn't hurt him!" She had crawled into Richard's lap and hugged him. "You were the only one who cared." Kahlan stared at them, from the way he returned her hug, to the way their daughter leaned into him. She had done her best to tell her everything she could about her father, but always feeling like she couldn't do him justice and then, in a single action of being himself, he showed her everything. Emma looked up and met his eyes, "Why aren't you scared of us?"
"Should I be?"
"We're dangerous," she whispered.
He chuckled, tightening their hug. "Your mother has been trying to tell me the same thing. We're all dangerous, Emma. Each of us in our own way, those with magic and those without it. People are dangerous, but we choose the people we become."
"How?"
"By asking yourself who you want to be. Do you want to hurt other people or help them?"
"Help," she answered quickly through a breath.
"There you go," he stated as though it was the simplest in the world.
Emma smiled widely, giving him a full view of her teeth. "I want to be like mommy."
"Then you can't go wrong. Your mother is one of the best people I have ever met."
"Me too."
"You two aren't bad, either," Kahlan chuckled. "I thought we were going to play a game."
"We are!" Emma jumped from her fathers arms and grabbed the rest of the carvings.
"She's asleep," Kahlan said as Richard entered the room slowly. He had left a little more than three hours ago to help with the search for the wizard. "She tried to wait up for you." A brief look of confusion crossed his face as he came closer, one she noticed him trying to hide. "Richard, I... I know there is nothing I can say to make this better, but I-"
"I've missed everything, Kahlan. I've missed the nights when she was awoken by a storm and crawled into our bed because she was scared. I missed the first time she walked, talked and looked at you with those beautiful eyes. I- How can I be there for her now after missing everything that's important?"
"Come here," she whispered as she pushed her blanket off of her and began moving to her knees. "Come here, see it; take it." He remained still until she started to get out of her and as quickly as his legs would take him, he was standing before her. "I know that you can do it, Richard. Take them, let yourself have those moments."
"I wasn't there, Kahlan, they're not mine to have."
"You're her father," she responded through a heavy whisper. "You deserve to have them."
"It's not the same, Kahlan."
Grabbing his hands she pulled them to her cheeks and leaned forward. "This is all I can give you. After everything I've done, I owe you at least this. Take them, please."
Richard leaned forward and kissed her lips, using the connection to fuel the strength of his own magic. She returned the kiss and opened her mind, allowing him to enter without protest and see the moments he had missed.
The birth of their daughter had gone on over a day, Kahlan screaming in pain as she clutched the blankets around her, the Seeker's name on her lips.
The instant she heard her daughter's cry, she cried out in triumph, relief flooding her as she was handed a piece of the man she loved.
The first steps their daughter took had been in the room they had once shared and he could almost feel the sunlight on his face as he saw from Kahlan's eyes. The joy was unimaginable, the love and comfort the child brought her was everything he ever hoped to give her.
Her first punishment was a laugh, the young girl having thrown a tantrum in the dining hall when she was told she could have no more cake. Kahlan's mind jumped to Richard at the moment, remembering a short fight they had over the last piece of his birthday cake.
They jumped through time with one memory after another, showing everything from the nights Kahlan laid in her own bed in tears to the ones she shared in her daughter's bed, telling her stories about how her father had saved the world from every danger ever known. She had witnessed Emma talking to him once, playing with the carving he had sent her and speaking as though he as in the room. He saw everything the way she did, feeling each moment as though it was currently taking place and when it came to the day a few before, their hearts almost stopped.
Kahlan had been filled with a terror he had never felt as she told Emma to run, the desire to protect her at all cost strong and heavy within. The pain she had felt in that moment couldn't be compared to the attack from the dragon, the fear of losing a piece of him, of them, was too much.
Breaking their kiss, he stumbled away as he tried to makes sense of all of the new memories, experiencing a time that hasn't existed for him. Kneeling down on the floor, Richard covered his face with his hands and sucked in a heated breath. His lips were numb, their kiss having grown more and more passionate until they were nipping and pulling frantically. Everything he had missed was now his to view again and again and he never wanted to stop watching. He could hear their laugh as they rode horses together for the first time and hear the soft yawn his daughter would give when her mother was beginning to close the book to the story she had been reading her. Just as he knew she would be, Kahlan was a mother unlike all others. She was what all women should want to be, one who cared for her child in a way that was strong and hopeful, passing into the child. She spent so much time with her, teaching her as well as learning to see things in a new way, answering questions no other child would think to ask and even as she grew tired and worn with other aspects of her life, a single moment with Emma had her ready for more.
When he lifted his head, he met her eyes, both wet with tears. "Are you alright?"
Nodding, he inched closer to the bed until he touched it. "You are a wonderful mother."
Letting her tears lose, Kahlan grabbed his face and pulled him forward, giving him a single kiss before wrapping her arms around him in a hug.
"I was always afraid I would disappoint you," she whispered into his chest.
"I don't think that's possible."
He moved her backward, slowly making his way onto the bed without losing connection with her. It had been more than a year since he had held her firmly in his arms and he refused to let her go now. Her body was exactly the way he remembered it, perfectly formed. Leaning back, she tried to remove the pressure off of her side, shifting her body against him.
"Are you alright?"
"Fine, maybe a little sore."
Moving swiftly, he had her laying down, his chest against hers as he helped her get comfortable beneath him. "How's that?"
"It's fine, I- Richard, I'm going to have to deal with the pain of it healing eventually."
"But not tonight," he whispered as he laid himself down at her side.
"Did you find Zedd?"
"No, there was no sign of him or the monster that attacked you."
"I'm worried about him."
Grinning, Richard laid his arm over her stomach. "Me too, but if there's one thing I've learned about him, it's that he can take care of himself."
"Yes, but it doesn't stop me from worrying."
"It's the mother in you," he told her with a grin.
"I worried long before I became a mother."
"Maybe that's part of the reason you're a good mother."
"How long are you going to wait before you ask?"
He was surprised by her sudden question, but he knew what she was talking about. "I don't understand why you would take her out of the city alone? You know the dangers out there-"
"I do, but- Richard, we couldn't stay there and let them find out about her, us. The High Council would never understand, she'd be dead before... I would die for her in a moment, but against their men... We stood a better chance on the road."
"You could have asked for help."
"I sent for Zedd," she said quietly. "The three days it took him to arrive... I was so afraid we wouldn't survive. You know what they would do to her. The dragon," she added after a few breaths. "I thought they were all dead and I tried to protect her, she should have run-"
"She would never leave you, Kahlan," Richard said with a soft laugh. "She's your daughter, she would never let anything happen to you. I asked her about what happened and why she felt it was her fault... Kahlan, she went back because she hoped she could help you. Even after seeing the fear in your eyes, she rushed back because she thought that with her magic, she could help keep you alive. She's your daughter, she couldn't have run away."
"Ours," she corrected him through a whisper. "I don't think I've ever been so scared before." Closing her eyes, she grabbed his arm, holding it across her stomach. "When I saw her behind me, so close to the dragon... I thought I'd lost everything."
"But you didn't," he said instantly. "Kahlan, you protected her."
Turning her head, she met his eyes. "I think she protected me. Richard, that creature looked at her as though it knew who she was... It fled at her command."
"How is that possible?"
"I don't know, but I saw it and for a moment, it frightened me."
"The magic?"
"She's more powerful than anyone of us and I know the woman she can be, but-"
"She has the Rahl blood-"
"No," she said quickly, settling him. "No, that's not what worries me. Richard, she is only a child, I don't want to put that much of a burden on her. It's exhausting and she should be free, a child for years."
"I think she's strong enough to handle it, Kahlan."
"Because she doesn't have a choice. Richard, if she chose to give up her magic, I couldn't say it to be the wrong decision." Looking up to the ceiling, she sighed as she remembered her time with him. "As much as I want her to keep it, I keep imagining the life she could have."
"The one we want together?"
"She could be happy." Returning her eyes to his, she half smiled. "She could make love to her husband, walk through the streets without causing other to run. I wish that for her, Richard and I hate that my thoughts be so cruel."
"They aren't cruel, Kahlan. You're a mother who wants her daughter to have the happiness she... It's far from cruel."
"When she first mentioned removing her magic, I- I was so upset that she would want to give up a part of us, a piece that made her ours..."
"She's still ours, even without her magic."
"I know, but it doesn't seem right."
He smiled and she felt her lips tugging to match, his happy emotions always finding their way into her. "Because she was born with our magic for a reason. Give her time, allow her to stay and train for a few days... Maybe she will come to see it the way we do."
"That is where I... I feel selfish not wanting to leave her here."
With a soft chuckle, he nudged his nose against her jaw. "You could wait for a while, stay with me..."
"I've already been gone weeks... I don't know how much longer I can keep our secret."
He moved back at her words, laying down on his back with his eyes glued to the roof of the room. "You have things to attend to."
His reaction didn't go unnoticed, but she didn't respond to it. "I have another few days..." Remaining still, she stared up at the ceiling as well. "I often wondered what it would be like to live away from the palace, hidden somewhere in the trees and coming out only when I was requested. It seems, at times, to be the safe place to raise Emma. She'd learn to control her magic away from the fearing eyes of everyone she's ever known, she'd become stronger than any of us, relying on herself more than... Each time I allow myself to think of such things I'm sucked backward. I dream of leaving, but I see what the High Council truly is and I fear for my people. They deserve someone to look after them, not rule them."
"That's why they have you," he managed to whisper as her words lingered in his mind.
Turning her head, she studied the side of his face. "Yet my heart is far away."
Richard turned his head and met her eyes, instantly regretting believing that she wanted to leave him. "Kahlan-"
"Were I not the only one able, I would not return to Aydindril, not yet."
Rolling into his side, he pulled her to do the same, crashing his chest against hers. "Stay with me. I do not have much longer to-"
"You know that I can't. Even if you were to leave tomorrow, I could not. Richard, as much as I long to, I fear what I will do to you." His face was so close to hers, she wasn't sure who was breathing, though it was clear they shared each other's breath. "Now, all I want is another night with you, another kiss that extends through time, but I feel the magic within me, waiting..."
"You'd never confess me, Kahlan."
"I want to," she said shamefully. "I want what you speak of, the life you used to talk about..."
"I will give it to you, without your magic claiming me. We have had it before, I will find a way to have it again. We will fill your palace with our daughters, Kahlan and each night will end this way."
"I wish it was possible."
Leaning in, he smiled. "I'm the Seeker, remember? I'll find a way."
Their kiss was meant to be slow and steady, but the instant their lips touched the fire exploded. To his surprise, she pushed forward until she was laying above him, the pain she had felt before diminishing with each breath. He laid calmly beneath her, still unafraid of the magic that she was sure he felt in her fingertips. Shifting her weight above him, she sat up and beautifully pushed her hair out of her face, sucking in a breath as he flattened his hands over her stomach. She wore a white gown, one she knew he had made sure she get, it was soft, but it wasn't the silk she was used to. It felt tame and comforting, the way he did against her. The fabric was thin enough for her to feel his touch, but thick enough to cause her madness as she desired more.
He responded to her thoughts instantly, pushing at the fabric until she pulled it over her head, exposing herself to him. At once, her shoulders slouched and her breathing slowed, part of her panicked that it had been so long since she had been seen by his eyes and her body had changed since giving birth. His lips parted as he reached out, tracing his right index down between her breasts and to her bellybutton. She waited for his reaction, to be dismissed as he studied her skin, but he showed no sign of disappointment. She had several new scars from a few short battles she endured after leaving him, the news of the Keeper's defeat having taken its time to reach each of the enemy soldiers. Her hips were wider than the last time she laid with him and as his hands circled them, he couldn't stop the low growl that escaped his throat. He traced the long scar that went from one side to the other, just below her stomach, his mind instantly remembering what she had shown him of their daughters birth.
"She wasn't harmed," Kahlan found herself whispering as her hand laid over his, holding it still. "It was before we returned to Aydindril and Cara stopped them."
Pushing his thumbs against each end of the scar, he looked up and met her eyes for a short moment before the passion within them overtook him, gliding his hands up her sides, he brought them to her breasts and slowly took them in his hands. He struggled to hold his eyes still, the view of her face and his hands calling out to him. His body ached beneath her, but he couldn't bring himself to act upon his need, not after everything he had put her through. Kahlan laid her left hand over his, holding it to her breast as she gently rolled her hips, letting more of her weight settle upon him. He let out a quiet moan, one only she heard as she lowered her chest closer to his.
She mean to tell him that he was overdressed, but the words didn't escape, only a whimper of need. It had been more than six years since she felt his touch, felt anyone's skin against hers and the memories she had of their night together could only heat her for so long. Releasing his hand, she grabbed his shirt and pulled, more roughly than she intended, until he allowed her to free his body of the blue fabric. When the shirt hit the ground, she sat back up and reached for him, instantly telling him what she wanted. Pressing his chest against hers, he reconnected their lips and tightened his hold on her, removing all space between them. She was on fire, he body burning with a passion her magic couldn't control, but she refused to stop. She longed for the life he talked about and if he found a way o love her for this night, she wanted to take it.
