Step one; done. I have a date tonight with Miss. Steele. If all goes as planned, I should be handing her a contract in the next 24 hours. The rest will unfold naturally after that.

I find myself restless throughout the day; excited even. Dare I say...nervous? Anxious? I can't stop checking the time, something I usually only do to keep track of where I'm supposed to be. Now it's to see if I can leave yet. I have a reservation at a simple Italian restaurant down the street, I even have a fucking change of clothes hanging in my private office restroom. Since when do I worry about what I'm going to wear? Since I've met Anastasia, all blushing cheeks and big blue eyes. I've been with some beautiful girls throughout the years, but never one that has effected me like this one.

Ever since the night I met her she's plagued my thoughts, day and night. I constantly find myself wondering what she's doing, who she's with, is she safe? Her finals were this week...I've even found myself hoping that she did well on them and isn't too stressed. It's perplexing. I've never cared about anyone besides myself. I lack basic human feelings, compassion, empathy, love. I don't have them. My heart shriveled up and died at four years old. But suddenly...I care?

I blame it on lust. I try to. Deep down I know that I've experienced lust before, and this is something new, but I ignore that fact. Its just the chase, I tell myself over and over again. She's young and she's gorgeous and once I have her she'll get out of my thoughts. I will no longer worry about if she's getting enough sleep or eating proper meals. I'll go back to my normal nightmares and stop dreaming of big blue eyes. I just need a good scene and a good fuck and it will all go back to normal.

Finally it's 6:00pm, time to wrap it up. I tidy up my desk and file away papers to finish tomorrow; then I change in my ensuite bathroom and I'm ready to go. I tried to dress casual, dark wash jeans and a button down. I didn't want to take her to some ritzy ass place and have her feel uncomfortable, so instead we're going to a casual yet upscale Italian joint.

I find Taylor waiting for me out by the car, ready to go. The drive from GEH to Anastasia's apartment is only about 20 minutes but with the rush hour traffic it will be more like 40. We leave with plenty of time to spare.

At promptly 6:50 I knock on Miss. Steele's door. Unfortunately, I am greeted by another face, Katherine. "Good evening, Miss. Kavanagh." I try my best to be polite, but to be honest I have no idea why my brother likes this woman. She stares at me for a minute, I can't tell if it's resting bitch face or if she's giving me the stink eye. Slowly she opens the door wider and moves back, indicating for me to come inside. "Ana is still getting ready." She tells me, before walking over and flopping down on the couch.

Their apartment is...small. But nice. It's clearly occupied by two girls, it's very colorful and floral, but not in a sorority house sort of way. It's messy, but not dirty. In fact it's quite clean, just needs to be straightened. I can smell Anastasia. Just faintly, from her living in the space, her natural scent floats around the room. It makes my lips twitch, wanting to smile. I like the way she smells, a lot.

Finally, Anastasia emerges from one of the back rooms. Kate has been staring me down this whole time, this is worse then sitting with a father before a date. Not that I've ever done that. The Ana smell is getting stronger and this time I allow my lips to quirk up into a smile. I know she's pretty but I seem to forget the extent of her beauty when she's not around, because every time I see her I'm taken aback again. She's wearing a short sleeved crimson dress, that reaches a little above her knees. Black tights underneath with short heeled ankle boots on her small feet. Her chestnut hair is once again loosely curled down her back, but tonight her make up is simple. Mascara accentuates her long dark lashes and lip gloss, that makes her plump delicious lips even more irresistible. She's has such a simple beauty.

"Anastasia." I greet her with a smile and a nod, opening the front door for her to exit. She giggles and gives me a smile back. "Thank you." She says as she waves good bye to Kate. "Remember Ana!" Kate yells at her, glaring, before blowing a kiss. Anastasia rolls her eyes. "Goodbye Kate." She mumbles. I shut the door behind us and rest my hand on the small of her back as we walk toward the apartment buildings elevators. "What are you supposed to remember?" I inquire, though I know it's probably a secret between friends. Her cheeks immediately flush, more than they already were from my hand on her back. "Nothing." She replies quickly. "Just Kate...being Kate." Her eyes roll to the heavens again. Oh, what a nasty habit of that she has.

We arrive early for our reservation but with it being a Thursday night they're not too busy and we're immediately sat, in a corner booth towards the back. "This is nice." She comments quietly as we settle in. "It is." I agree. I've never been here but Taylor says it's where he often takes Gail for nice dinners. Its upscale but not high society. The table is covered with a white linen table cloth, with roses and candles as a centerpiece. Above us hangs a small chandelier adorned with more candles. The flicker of the candles creates a romantic glow that pairs well with the ambient lighting in the restaurant, it's dim but not too dark that you can't even read the menu. What I'm most pleased to notice though, is that the booth is concealed by optional curtains. I'm not sure they'll be of much use tonight but in the future they could be handy.

"What would you like, Anastasia?" I ask after a few minutes of perusing the menu. She chews on her bottom lip as she continues to scan, letting out a little 'hmm'. "I think I'll just get a salad." She closes her menu and sets it in front of her. I furrow my brows at her, she needs to eat more than that. "You didn't see anything else you liked?" She blushes and chews that damn lip. "I..can't read Italian." A shy smile appears on her lips. I furrow my brows again, this time in confusion. "Italian?" I scan over my own menu. The titles are Italian but then descriptions are English. She nods and hands me her menu, which is completely in Italian. I shake my head and trade with her. "This should be a little easier for you." Her eyes light up when she can read this time. "Oh! Thank you! But now you can't read..." She pouts slightly, it does things to me. For one it turns me on, but it also makes me want to give her anything in the world; anything just to make her smile again. That pout is dangerous. "I speak French. This is close enough..I can figure it out." Suddenly she's out of her seat, for a horrifying minute I think she's leaving but then she's sliding in next to me. "There. Now we can both read." She grins up at me.

"Would you like any wine?" I offer. She wrinkles up her nose in the most adorable way. There's that word again...adorable. I think to myself. "Umm no. I've had enough alcohol for a long time." She glares at the wine menu in disgust. I can't help but laugh, if only I had felt this negatively about alcohol after my first time getting drunk. I probably could have saved my mother a lot of heartache. "It's not funny." The pout is back, this time directed at me. I try to hide my smile, but it doesn't work. "It's your fault anyways!" She continues. "If you hadn't been trying to get me drunk so you could have your way with me..." she crosses her arms and turns away from me, before peeking back at me over her shoulder with a coy smile. I mean I wasn't really getting her drunk to get her to sleep with me...I thought she'd do it either way. "Well if you hadn't been a sloppy drunk it would have worked! And we wouldn't have to be here, where I'm offering wine to try again!" I attempt to joke back, but immediately regret it. Her face falls and her eyes dull, it's like I stole her light. I want to put it back immediately but I don't know how. I never care about hurting someone's feelings..so why does this feel so terrible? I can tell that's exactly what I've done. Maybe sloppy drunk was too far. I feel my defenses creeping in though, I don't do apologies. Thankfully the waiter is back just in time.

"Christian?" We've been sitting in semi-awkward silence for five minutes now; since the waiter left. I turn to her, my eye brows raised for her to continue. "Is that why we're here?" Her voice is small. I rack my brain to try to figure out what she's talking about. "I mean...are you...are you expecting me to come home with you...after this?" She peeks at me through her thick eyelashes, playing with the hem of her dress in her lap. The way she's looking at me makes me want to tell her yes. She is to come home and get into my playroom immediately after finishing her meal. But her timid voice and sad eyes make me want to lie and tell her no such thing ever crossed my mind. I go for middle ground, I can't blow the plan for a quickie, and I've got to get her to stop pouting.

"That's not why we're here, Anastasia." It comes out a little more scolding then I would have liked. She stares at me with those big ocean eyes, waiting for me to continue. "We're here to get to know each other. You intrigue me." I answer with complete honesty. Well, except I leave out the part about me basically scoping her out to see if she's sub material. Which, isn't really important because I'll most likely pursue her even if she's not. I'm too under her spell to escape now.

A little bit of sparkle comes back to her eyes with my revelation. "So...this wasn't just a rain check..for um...sex?" Her cheeks flame at the last word. Red flags go off in the back of my mind, the more time I spend with this girl the more innocent she seems to be, but I ignore them. "No. I was not expecting sex tonight, Anastasia." I answer honestly again. She smiles and a weight lifts off my chest. "What kind of men have you been hanging around with, Miss. Steele? No man worth your time would expect sex on the first date!" I attempt to joke with her again. She blushes again, at this rate her face is going to turn purple. "I hang out with Kate. That's all I can say about that." She rolls her beautiful eyes again and I let out a genuine laugh. That makes a lot of sense.

Our food arrives quickly after and we eat in comfortable silence. We share a slice of chocolate cake for dessert and before I know it our date is over. We've chatted easily and she's told me all about herself, confirming what was on her background check. She grew up with her mother after her dad died when she was a baby. She had various step fathers in and out of her life. She doesn't elaborate on the subject of step-fathers and it seems to make her uncomfortable, I'm curious as to why. When I ask why she lives so far from her mother she gives a round-about answer; but I gather that they do butt heads...and that she was tired of new step-fathers. I offer her some personal information of my own, just the rundown of my family and my business. She hangs onto my every word and I find myself thinking of how good it feels to talk with someone who genuinely seems to care; not just someone who is pretending to care in order to suck up to me. Is this what it's like to have...a friend? Maybe it's not as pointless as I've thought all these years.

Before I know it we're back standing in front of Anastasia's apartment. I regretfully decided tonight would not be the night I present her with the contract, but it wasn't a total waste of a night. Headway was made in building trust between us and that in itself is a great success. There's only one issue with not giving her the contract, I can't touch her. She's practically begging me with her crystal eyes to kiss her right now, but I can't. She's standing in front of me, almost chest to chest, looking up at me, eyes full of lust and longing. I want so badly to press my lips to her soft plump ones. Instead I settle, leaning down and pressing my lips to her forehead. She leans into my lips and suddenly wraps her arms around me. When I pull my lips away from her, her head presses into my chest and she squeezes me tight. She's sneaked her way into a hug. The only person I've hugged in years...maybe ever; is Mia. But here is Miss. Steele, tricking me into one. Even tho it's just her head I wait for panic to settle in from my chest being touched, but it doesn't come. Finally when I realize I'm safe, I hug her back. I feel her cheeks tighten against my chest as she smiles.

She's so small in my arms. She could stay here forever. Safe and protected. My thoughts shock me, almost enough that I let go. Usually when I'm in such a position of strength I have to push away some dark thought, but this was...caring? It's a minute before I come back to reality and realize Anastasia is staring at me, puzzled, but she smiles brightly when my eyes meet hers. God, that smile. God, this girl. I close my eyes trying to get rid of the troubling new thoughts. I don't know why these things are popping into my dark mind. When I open them again she's back to staring at my lips, while chewing on hers. Fuck it. I think. I lean in, feeling her sweet breath on my lips. Her smell fills my senses and makes me dizzy in the best way. But of course, just as I feel her soft lips brush mine ever so slightly, the door opens; light flooding us. Anastasia jumps about 5 feet away from me, looking like a kid who just got busted by her parents.

"Ana! You're back! I was just...alright, well goodnight Grey!" Kate quickly pulls her dazed friend inside; shutting the door in my face. I'm about to turn away when it opens again, a little brunette head popping out. "Call me!" She whispers, giggling, before being pulled back into the apartment. I shake my head as I walk back downstairs. Oh, Anastasia Steele.