iFeel
Chapter 7
iKnow
Dear Diary,
I don't have an actual entry this time… actually, I wrote a song and I wanted to write it in here. This song is for Sam.
Maybe I'm wrong, you
decide CHORUS: All
that it takes, one more chance CHORUS BRIDGE: CHORUS: (2x) But I know how I feel about you
now
Should of been strong, yeah I lied
Nobody gets me
like...you
Couldn't keep hold of you then
How could I know what
you meant
There was nothing to compare to
There's a mountain
between us
But there's one thing I'm sure of
That I know how I
feel about you
Can we bring yesterday back
around?
Cause I know how I feel about you now
I was dumb, I was
wrong, I let you down
But I know how I feel about you now
Don't let our last kiss be our
last
I'm out of my mind, just to show you
I know everything
changes
I don't care where it takes us
Cause I know how I feel
about you
Not a day, pass me by
Not
a day, pass me by
When I don't think about you
And as though,
moving on
Cause I know, you're the one
And I can't be without
you
Yeah I know how I feel about you now
One day I wish she would read this. I think this is the only way I can put my feelings into words. I think this says more than just saying that I love her.
-Carly Shay
--
Two weeks had passed by. Nothing seemed to be different between Sam and Carly, although it was obvious that there was. Neither girl could shake the thought of the sleepover at Carly's house. Of course, neither girl was willing to say that they remembered what had happened. Instead, they were both really scared.
Sam sat in her room with her iPod playing softly in her ears. She lied on her bed and stared at the ceiling listening to sappy love songs that she had never liked in her life until that day. The words 'I love you, Carly' ran through her head, as well as the response that was spoken softly after that phrase… 'I love you, Sam.'
Sam closed her eyes for a moment. Her mind drifted back to that special night in Carly's bed. She could feel her lips tingling from the thought of kissing Carly that night. She could feel the warmth and softness of Carly's skin on her fingertips. When she thought about the way Carly's breathing flowed while she was inside of her… chill bumps covered her arms and caused her to bite her lip. But when she thought about the way it felt to have Carly sleeping on her chest, her entire body felt a strong sense of warmth and comfort wash over her.
Sam removed her headphones from her ears and turned her iPod off. She rolled over to her side, placing her hands under her head. She closed her eyes. Inside her mind she was screaming.
I can't be in love with Carly. Carly is my best friend. She's straight. I think. Isn't she? Or is she? I don't even know. Maybe the only reason why we had sex was because we had been drinking. Maybe it meant nothing. She doesn't remember so I guess it's like it never happened. I bet if she remembered then she would freak out and never speak to me again. I don't want her to not talk to me. Then again… she looked like she had remembered whenever she got out of the shower… that girl can't lie to save her life. I think I scared her. Oh, I bet she hates me. Wait, she can't hate me… I know Carly. Don't I?
This is so confusing. I need to tell her. I can't tell her. Wait, yes I can. Carly would understand, wouldn't she? I mean… she turned down Freddie for two years before he finally gave up. They're still friends. I'm her best friend though… she would understand. I wonder how she would feel about all of this. I want to kiss her again so badly I can barely stand it. I miss her, too.
Sam's mind continued to run in circle for an hour until she had one final thought. If she doesn't remember, then I'll remind her. Sam had her mind set straight on doing something that reminded Carly of the time they shared in Carly's bed.
--
Carly sat on her bed doing her homework. For the first time in her life, she couldn't bring herself to change or wash her sheets. While she wrote down the answered to her math homework, she cuddled to the pillow Sam slept on as it sat in her lap. The pillow smelled faintly of Sam. Carly was wearing her pajama pants she had worn at the sleepover along with one of Sam's t-shirts that she had left at her house. Without even realizing it, Carly had written Sam's name on her paper in place of a number. She quickly erased her name and wrote the number before she had forgotten it.
Carly laid her pencil down on her notebook and allowed herself to fall back onto her pillows while still clutching the Sam-scented pillow. She looked beside her bed at the clock that read 7:30pm. It was Saturday night and Carly was all by herself. No Spencer. No friends. Just her.
"I really wanna call Sam." Carly said to herself. Carly thought about calling her for about twenty minutes before she finally picked up her phone and made the call.
"Hey, Carly." Sam said when she answered her phone.
"Hey, Sam." Carly smiled at the sound of her voice. "What'cha doin'?" She asked.
"Oh, nothing really. Laying on my bed… listening to my mom yell at the cat, but trying to drown her out. So, pretty much bored. How about you?" She said, leaving out what she was really doing.
"Not much. I'm really bored. Spencer left to go to Soko's house again and he won't be home tonight. I'm just kinda lonely." Carly said.
"Oh. Do you… want some company?" Sam wondered. "Cause… I'm not doing anything tonight…"
"I'd love that!" Carly said quickly. "I have to take a shower, so I'll see you in a little bit then?"
"Yeah, I'll be over in a few minutes." They both hung up their phones.
Carly tossed her cell phone down and flopped back down on her bed. She pulled the pillow over her faced and happily screamed into it. After a few minutes, she remembered that she needed a shower before Sam came over. She figured she would still be in the shower by the time Sam came over so she went downstairs and unlocked the door. She then proceeded to take her shower.
About five minutes after Carly had gotten into the shower, Sam came in. She could hear the shower running as she walked in, so she decided to just go up to Carly's room and wait. When she got to her room she took a seat on her bed. She started messing with the stuff that Carly left before she jumped into her shower. On her bed was her notebook, math book, and her diary.
Sam didn't know that it was Carly's diary until after she read half of the entry she had written earlier. She read the song Carly had written to her and tried to keep herself from crying. The water still ran in her bathroom. Sam flipped back a few pages and found the entry she had written about her sleepover. Carly remembered. Carly loved Sam but was too afraid to tell her.
"Oh my god." Sam hadn't even heard the bathroom door open when she saw Carly standing there staring at her with a frightened look on her face. "Sam, what are you doing?!" Carly ran over to her and grabbed her diary.
"I was just…"
AN – The song is from the iCarly soundtrack. It's sung by Miranda Cosgrove and its title is "About You Now"… I was listening to it and thought it seemed fitting. Hope you guys enjoyed. : ) please review. (And thank you to the ones who keep giving me good reviews!) Hope the cliffhanger isn't too much for you guys… haha. The next chapter will be the last chapter. So prepare yourselves. : )
