Chapter Seven - "Breathe"

After Tony left Abby's lab, he went straight up to the conference room to see Ziva. He knew she barely talked about anything she didn't have to, but he was hoping she'd be able to explain this. He was hoping it was all just a misunderstanding, that what happened afterwards was better than the beginning they saw. Once Tony reached the conference room, he took a deep breath before entering. As he entered he saw Ziva pacing back and forth, he knew she didn't want to be there. She wanted to be with them working the case, but she was too close to the case now. Tony was afraid she was even closer to the case name then before.

"Ziva" Tony said softly, trying not to spook her. Ziva stopped pace and turned to look at Tony. "We need to talk."

"I have told Gibbs everything I know" Ziva said to him.

"Not everything" Tony said. He really didn't want to even have to talk to Ziva about this, but the fact was he did.

"What do you mean?" Ziva questioned him.

"Ziva what happened between you and Matt a week after Lily's murder?" Tony asked her, as he moved closer to her.

"Nothing" Ziva said quickly, almost too quickly for Tony.

"I saw the tape Ziva, what happened?" Tony said to her. He made sure not to mention Abby. He figured if maybe Ziva thought he was the only one that knew then she'd talk to him.

"Nothing" Ziva said to him.

"Ziva, I saw it" Tony said to her, moving a bit closer again.

"You do not know what you saw Tony" Ziva said coldly. "What you saw and what you think you saw were two completely different things."

"Then tell me Ziva" Tony said to him.

"This is not important to any of this" Ziva said. Tony knew she was trying to get off the subject, and trying to get off it badly.

"It is important Ziva, he has killed seven women, one of them being your friend" Tony said to her. "And there is another one out there; he left one alive for who knows what reason. You know what I think, I think you are the one he left alive and I want to know why that is."

"You have no idea what you are talking about Tony" Ziva snapped at him. "This goes way beyond your crazy movies and your theories and everything."

"Then explain it to me Ziva" Tony said to her. "I am your friend and your partner. I have your back remember." He said to her, as he moved even closer to her and took her hand in his. "I am not going to back down from this Zi, I care about you too much to walk away and let you deal with this alone. You have people who care about you here. Don't push us away."

"When I answered the door to find him standing there, I tried to shut it, but he just pushed it opened and entered anyways. He told me he was going to make my life a living hell, because it was my fault Lily was dead." Ziva started to explain to him as her eyes started to water. "He said he was going to make me suffer first, before he came back and killed me. I told him it was no use threating me, because it was an empty threat" He said to her. "After he left, I felt a little uneasy. I might have put on a brave face, but something about him did scare me. So after that, I went looking for a new place, hoping if I moved he would have a harder time finding me, but I'd still be able to find him."

"Why didn't you come to us Ziva" Tony asked her.

"It is not your battle to be fought Tony" Ziva said, pulling her hands away from Tony's. She then wiped away any and all tears she had. "He is after me, and it was always about me and I was not about to let anyone of you get dragged into this miss."

"We could have helped you Ziva" Tony said to her. "You didn't have to deal with it alone"

"Ziva" Before Ziva or Tony could say another word; they were interrupted by Gibbs walking into the conference room, with his nose in the file Abby had given him earlier. They both turned and looked at him, just as he looked up and at them. "DiNozzo?"

"I was just looking for you boss. Got a new lead, going to go find McGee and check it out" Tony said, he turned back to Ziva and gave her a small smile, before walking past Gibbs and heading out of the room. He just didn't head to the bullpen; she stayed by the door, wanting to know what going on.

"We need to talk" Gibbs said to her as he closed the door. He walked over and took a seat, putting the file down on the table that he had in his hand.

"I can explain" Ziva said, once she say the file.

"You should have come to me Ziva" Gibbs said her. Ziva walked over and sat down in the chair next to him.

"I did, when I arrived at your house I saw your father was there. I did not want to burden you with this and ruin your visit with your father. After I left I ask Director Vance for some time off, told him I was moving and things got a little complicated, that I had family in town and I had the funeral. He did not question it and told me to take the time I needed." Ziva explained to him.

"Ziva you could never be a burden to me" Gibbs said to her, he reached out and touched her hand and for the first time she didn't pull back.

"This was my mess and I needed to clean it up" Ziva said to him. "Rule 45."

"Rule 52" Gibbs said to her. "Strength isn't just being able to go it alone; it's also being able to ask for help." Ziva closed her eyes, and a few tears ran down her cheeks. She reopened her eyes and looked at Gibbs.

"I am not proud of what happened" Ziva started to say to him. "I was weak and I should not have been. It is my fault Gibbs; I put this whole thing in motion."

"Ziva don't for a second think or say that" Gibbs said as he stood up and moved closer to her. "This is not your fault."

"If I had not said anything to Lily…" Ziva started to say.

"No" Gibbs said interrupting her. "You were trusting your judgment, you didn't think Matthew was good news and you told her. What happened after you couldn't have predicted."

"I still got her killed" Ziva said to him. "And now this; He told me he wanted me to pay for what I had done and that death was too easy. He said he was going to make me suffer, so that I felt the way he did when I took Lily from him."

"He's messing with your head Ziva, you can't let him get to you" Gibbs said to her. "If you give him all the power he wins. You are stronger Ziva, I know it, and I've seen it. You just need to find that again, because if you don't this will eat you alive"

"No she is gone Gibbs" Ziva said to him. She moved away from him and looked back out the window.

"No she's not." Gibbs said to her. "You are one of the strongest people I know and one of the toughest. You have been through hell and back, and you are still standing."

"Maybe I have just been through too much" Ziva said to him as she turned to face him again. "Because I can barely stand now" Ziva said, trying so hard to hold back the tears. "I nearly shot Tony this morning, and just a little while ago, McGee said my name, and jumped. I do not think I can take this anymore Gibbs."

"Ziva" Gibbs started to say, but once he saw the tears falling form her eyes he walked over and pulled her into a hug. He knew Ziva would come around, but right now this was what she needed and this was what he was going to let her do. He was going to make sure he found the bastard and make him pay for everything.


AN: this was supposed to be a Tiva story in the end, but kind of took on a life of it's own. Still working that out.