Amanda rushed into the community center forty-five minutes past the time she'd agreed to meet Lee. She anxiously scanned the large gymnasium that was going to be used as the dining room for the meal that the volunteers would be serving but she didn't see Lee. Where could he be? I was sure that he would be waiting for me in his car…why would he decide to come in here alone?

"Amanda," shouted Rita Baldwin, an overdressed volunteer who stopped giving orders to the other volunteers that were present and hurried over to where Amanda was standing.

"Hello, Rita, I see that you've taken charge here as usual. I'm looking for a friend who is supposed to meet me; maybe you've seen him? He's-"

"Quite the hunk…although I must say he seems rather shy for a man that looks as good as he does. After we spotted him sitting alone in his car we had to practically drag him inside."

"Where is he now," Amanda asked with trepidation as she continued to scan the room while giving Rita the impression that she still had her complete attention.

"He volunteered for kitchen duty. I think he was trying to avoid us…what could he possibly know about cooking?"

"You'd be surprised. If you'll excuse me; I want to let Lee know that I'm here." Amanda began to walk quickly towards the building's institutional kitchen with Rita in hot pursuit.

"Speaking of surprises; I was surprised to meet Lee. I saw your mother at the PTA Christmas get together and she was hinting that you and your ex might be reconciling."

"Mother was mistaken. You must excuse me; I've kept Lee waiting far too long already." Amanda wasn't usually inclined to be so brusque in dealing with other people but she was growing increasingly concerned about how Lee was handling his immersion in suburbia. She paused tensely at the swinging door to the kitchen, chewed on her lower lip, then took a deep breath and walked into the room.

"Hi, you're more than a little late," Lee greeted her with a feigned expression of irritation on his face. He regretted his playful attempt to tease her when he saw the look on her face.

"I'm sorry." Amanda looked away from him and began to fuss with the grocery bags she'd been carrying. "I never intended for you to have to face all this," she gestured with her arms to indicate their surroundings, "by yourself," she finished sadly. Lee walked over to her and raised her chin so that she'd have to look at him.

"Amanda, I was only kidding, I'm fine. I've been in good hands since I escaped from your friends out there. Mrs. Morris told me that she has known you and the boys since they started school." While Lee was speaking, Amanda noticed the plump, sixty year old retired school cafeteria manager working in the corner of the kitchen.

"Oh, hello, Mrs. Morris, it's so good to see you," Amanda said with a warm smile. "Phillip and Jamie will be sorry they missed seeing you today; they still talk about you fondly."

"Please tell them that I said 'hello'. They are terrific boys; you've done a wonderful job raising them."

"Thank you, Mrs. Morris, they are good boys." The sad expression on Amanda's face didn't match the tone of the conversation so Mrs. Morris diplomatically made up an excuse for leaving the kitchen so that the couple could speak privately.

"What can I do to help," Amanda asked as she removed her coat and hung it from a hook by the kitchen door. She turned around to find Lee standing right behind her, looking at her intently.

"You can start by telling me what's upset you; did your talk with your mother go badly," Lee queried as he gazed at Amanda with furrowed eyebrows. She walked over to the stovetop and then turned back to face Lee.

"Now isn't the time to discuss this…we came here to volunteer…we'll talk later."

"Amanda, I can cook and talk at the same time and I know that you routinely talk to your family while you're cooking so please tell me what's wrong?"

"I want to focus on doing what we came here to do; I refuse to allow my being a little upset to prevent me from doing my best for all the families who are depending on us." Amanda began to absently open cans of beans that were going to be used in a huge pot of chili that Mrs. Morris had started preparing. Lee returned to work on the pasta sauce that he had been making but he couldn't stop sneaking peeks at the dejected expression on Amanda's face. He walked over to her and took the can opener out of her hand.

"This isn't working for me; I can't concentrate when you look so unhappy. I need to know why you are so upset…I want to be a bigger part of your life but not if it will come between you and your family. Did you tell your family about me?"

"I talked to Mother and then to the boys before I came here…that's why I'm late…I hadn't planned to talk to the boys but I had to. While I was talking to them I came to an awful realization…I'm an even bigger liar than I thought I was. I haven't just been lying to my family for years; I've been lying to myself as well. If I haven't been honest with myself about my feelings how can I expect to have a successful relationship with anyone else?"

"You are the most honest person that I've ever met; you only lie when your connection to the Agency makes it necessary. I can't imagine you lying to yourself…you are too level headed and well adjusted for that," Lee argued passionately.

"That's what I used to think but since Joe came back I've been wrestling with so many emotions that I tried not to deal with when he left. I didn't realize it until I was talking to the boys about their feelings concerning their father. Phillip and Jamie didn't understand how I feel about Joe because I hadn't been honest with them or myself about what I was feeling," Amanda confessed to Lee.