(Warning Mentions of a miscarriage and stillborn)

Life's Ups and Down

(August 2002)-

Hermione worked in the kitchen making a small batch of cookies completely in her own world watching Severus reading outside enjoying their last few weeks before returning back to school. She wondered if she would have the courage to tell Severus that once again she was pregnant.

They decided shortly after they got married 2 years ago that they wanted a baby and it didn't take long before Hermione was indeed pregnant. They soon start preparing for they own little one once they made it past those first 12 weeks and Hermione's belly started to grown; they shared the exciting news with their family. And all was right in the world.

That was till she was almost 6 months along with their little bean, when she woke up in the middle of the night. She got up and made her way in the dark, to the bathroom figuring she might as well go empty her bladder. She was forced to stop half way when she was hit with a terrible cramp. Her yelp walk Severus and seeing her doubled over with the painful expression on her race rushed to her said. Neither sad a word as he picked her up and rushed them both to St. Mungo's. The doctors tried to save their little bean but they could no longer find the heartbeat.

Severus held Hermione's hand tight letting her squeeze it and trying to help her though the pain once she decide she didn't want any pain potions to help as she labored to bring they child to the world. Before long she was pushing refusing to make a sound till she felt the child slip from her, it was then she let her tears flow as she held they son. They named him Aster from the Greek word for star, they laid him next to his muggle grandparents. They both took their time to morn they little boy who'd never get to grow up.

A few months later Hermione asked Severus is they could try again. A few weeks later she sat a her desk in Hogwarts when the familiar pain started and she looked to see the blood starting to seep through her clothes. She sent a house elf to get Severus but she knew it was too late.

Later that night as they laid in her bed at St. Mungo's her Healer explained that her time at Malfoy's Manor and hours under Bellatrix's curse was the cause for their loses. He warned them that the miscarriages could get worse and she's could very well die herself from lose of blood if they weren't careful.

Hermione would beg Severus not to give up that they could have a child. But he refused, anytime they would make love he was sure to use protection either it was muggle or magical; he wasn't going to risk losing Hermione too.

Now she found herself watching him, she'd been keeping a secret from him for the past 12 weeks. She didn't want to upset him or get his hopes up but this morning she notched a small bump forming on her once flat stomach and she knew it was time to tell him. Summing up her Gryffindor courage she carried the plate of cookies out to Severus along with the muggle ultrasound of their not one but 2 healthy babies.

Severus has never lost his spy level skills of observation had notched a change in Hermione's behavior over the course of their summer. But he said nothing knowing she would tell him what was bothering her in her own time. He smiled and thanked her for the cookies and began to eat them when he notched the small picture hiding under the pile on the plate. Raising a his brow her slide the picture out then quickly snapped his glaze up to where Hermione sat chewing on her lip. He said nothing as he walked to her side kneeling and pulling her close tears streaming down his face. He cursed himself for being so stupid he, putting her life once again in danger. He almost didn't hear her whispers as she stroked his no longer greasy hair.

"This time is different, I can feel it. I know it will be."

He kissed her head and held her close praying to every God he could think of that she was right.

Later that night as Hermione slept Severus laid his head on her small bump and whispered to their 2 little children begging them to stay and grow strong. That they would have the best mother they could ask for and he promised them it would be worth it. He kissed her small bump twice, one for each of their children growing in her womb.

Severus woke early to fix Hermione a full English breakfast and tea just the way she liked it, milky with 4 sugars. When Hermione still half asleep made her way to the kitchen Severus wondered how he didn't figure it out before that she was pregnant, he pushed all other thoughts aside and just sat to enjoy their breakfast together before they had to start preparing they home to leave for the school year.

"I think I would like Poppy to care for me, us this time. Do you think she would?" Hermione asked chewing on her lip. "I was seeing a muggle doctor, I don't want us to be another headline in the Daily Prophet."

Severus gave her hand a squeeze before gently coxing her lip out from between her teeth.

"I'm sure she would be honored, if that is what you truly want. All I want if for you to be safe. Maybe this year you could take a break from the infirmary and spend the time researching or simpler just relaxing."

Nodding Hermione took a sip of her tea, yes she could feel it this time would be different.