LbN: Puckleberry-anon requested some Insecure!Rachel being comforted. Here you go, mate! And yes, I know I made Finn uncharacteristically douchey... I needed him to be a jackass. More so than he already is. So no flames, plz!

Rachel breathed deeply as she reached for the doorknob. She quietly threw her jacket and bag on one of the dining room chairs and smiled, hearing her girlfriends in the kitchen. She moved slowly to the other room, muscles aching from the intense rehearsal that day.

"There's our show stopper!" Tina said.

"Can I ask why you two were discussing an episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic?" Rachel asked, amused.

"Brittany," the other two said together.

"Ah," Rachel said, laughing. Brittany had been in New York for a brief showcase the previous week, and had stayed with the trio.

"I'm cooking veggie goulash," Santana said. "Figured we'd do the whole dinner at a table like a normal family thing tonight."

"Since when are we normal?" Tina quipped.

"Touché, my lady," Santana said, grinning.

"I got a callback," Rachel blurted.

They both turned to look at her. She blushed and stared at the ground as she explained.

"Last week when Brittany was here, I had an audition. They called me Wednesday morning and asked if I could come in that afternoon. Everything was so crazy with Brittany being here, and Tina's event at the library and our families visiting, that I just…kept quiet about it. I didn't want to add to everyone's stress level, since it was so last minute."

"What?"

"Are you serious?"

Rachel smiled sheepishly. "I confess I did have less noble intentions as well. I didn't want to get your hopes up. I didn't want to get my hopes up even more. I figured it was just a fluke, and that it would be good casting experience. But I got a callback."

"What's the role?" Tina yelped.

"Wendla in Spring Awakening."

Tina let out an impressive fangirl squee. Santana just marched over and pulled Rachel into a hug.

"You total goober!" she grumbled. "'Adding to our stress levels'…sheesh. When's your next audition?"

"Next Friday. Guys?" Rachel said in a small voice. "I'm terrified."

Tina kissed her and held her tightly. "Don't be. You're amazing. All you can do is your best. And Rachel Berry's best is pretty damn spectacular."

"Preach," Santana said, stirring the vegetables.

"It's not just that it's a great part," Rachel said. "I've wanted this for so long. And I'm a senior. It's about to be make or break, songstress or waitress time. I just feel like…if I got this one, graduation wouldn't be such a scary prospect."

The other two nodded.

Santana whistled a few bars of The World of Your Body. "It'll still be scary, Rachel. Everything's changing. But that's good. Use that as your motivation, or whatever you theater people call it. Being scared of the future is one of Spring Awakening's themes, right?"

"Er…kind of, but not exact—"

"Work with me here, I'm trying to be supportive. Anyway, I think you'd make a great Wendla. And when graduation rolls around, whether or not you have some Broadway in your diet already, you'll still have more of Broadway to conquer. Like Tina said, your best is spectacular. Just let it shine through."

Rachel smiled at the two of them, and moved to help Santana with dinner.


Tina woke to the sound of Rachel crying for the third night in a row. "Santana," she whispered, shaking the older girl.

"Ermmph?"

"It's Rachel."

Santana sat up, completely still for a moment, and then sighed. "Nightmares."

"I didn't know she had nightmares."

"She hasn't in a long time. And when she does, they're usually not this bad." Santana pushed the blankets off of her and climbed out of bed.

Tina watched as she shuffled over to the bathroom door and opened it slowly. She couldn't hear their hushed conversation, but a second later, Santana was carrying Rachel back to bed. Tina snuggled against her as Santana got back into bed.

"San?" Rachel whispered hoarsely.

"Shh…go to sleep."

"You know I won't be able to. Can you please explain my subconscious's theatrics to Tina? I'm sure she's worried."

Santana sighed and turned on the bedside lamp. "Okay. But I'm the big spoon right now."

Rachel smiled and turned so that she was facing Tina. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy, but her breathing was returning to normal.

"Remember when Rae and I got together our senior year?" Santana started off by asking.

"Yeah."

"And how everyone thought it was random and out of nowhere?"

"Double yeah."

"It wasn't. I'd been crushing on munchkin hard for god only knows how long. Q had been helping me send her love notes, little gifts, and desperate pleas not to marry Finn. All anonymously, of course. I could see this one was coming to her senses a bit—"

Rachel snorted at this.

"But it was senior year. Everyone was so pants-shittingly scared of gradation and everything changing, that it was easier to hold on to the familiar."

"Preach," Tina said.

"Anyway, D-Day came during her NYADA auditions…."


"Hey, Rachel."

"Oh, hi Santana! Did Coach Sylvester keep you guys this long? What are you still doing here?"

"I came to support you. I want to watch your auditions," Santana said. "I know how much this means to you. And…well…you were right, the other day. We blew it these past three years. I blew it. But I want to spend the last part of the year getting it right."

Rachel smiled so brightly she thought her face would break. With a tiny squeak of happiness, she hugged Santana tightly. "Thank you! You have…no idea how much that means to me."

"How long until you start?"

"Eurgh…another hour of agony. But my secret admirer left me flowers, so that's two people on my side."

"Three. You know Kurt's jazzed for you too. And Finn."

At this, Rachel's face fell a bit.

"What?" Santana asked.

"He's not exactly happy with me right now. But it's not important. I'll deal with that later. All my energy is focused on this audition right now."

"Want my help at all? Do you need anything?"

"Actually…if you wouldn't mind…I left my bag of lemons in the car, and my pre-show regimen requires—"

"Warm water and lemon. Fork over the keys, Tiny."

Rachel smiled and handed them to Santana. "Thanks."


"You know how sometimes it feels like the whole world can explode in the shortest amount of time ever?" Rachel asked Tina, yawning. "Like…one tiny moment can change everything?"

"Oh yeah," Tina said, thinking over the past couple of years.

"That's exactly what that day was for me."


Rachel looked over her lines again. It was cake. She knew this character by heart, and rumor had it that she'd come out of the womb singing her audition piece. So long as she remembered to breathe and give it all she had…things would be okay. They had to be. She smiled and picked up one of the roses. Holding it to her lips, she thought about what the card had said: You may never be mine, or even know who this person was, but you should know that you are loved. I believe in you. You'll be amazing.

"What are you doing?"

Rachel's eyes snapped open at Finn's voice. She put the flower down and stood to face him. "You made it!"

"What were you doing?" he asked again, eyeing the flowers moodily.

"Just thinking."

"About our future?"

"About…everything."

"You still haven't answered me."

"I need time, Finn," Rachel said. "Everything's changing so fast—"

"Don't bullshit me," he said quietly. "That's not it. You started getting your little love notes, probably from some obsessed freshman, and you liked the attention."

"I won't pretend being showered with harmless gifts isn't gratifying, but I am in no way encouraging it," she said. "And that has nothing to do with anything between us."

"It does! Whoever's doing this has you thinking that you're some sort of star. You're not, Rachel. You're just a kid with big, unreachable dreams. Just like every other wannabe actor and actress out there."

"Why are you—"

"Because you're being stupid!" Finn yelled. "You think you're going to nail this audition and fly off to New York and make all your dreams come true in a year—"

"I know it's going to take work, Finn, but this is the first step."

"The first step away from me."

"Is that what this is about? You don't want to go to New York? Then don't, Finn! But don't try to run me into the ground before an important audition just to get me to stay with you."

"Why not? I'm all you'll have in another four years. When you've gone through whatever program, and you're serving coffee at Starbucks or taking orders at Macaroni Grill—"

"Shut up, Finn!"

"No! You know why I proposed now, Rachel? Because I know that I'll never be able to do better than you. Not if I look for a million years. And I know you'll never be able to find anyone else who's willing to put up with your particular brand of psycho."

Rachel sat back in her chair, shaking her head and openly crying.

"Knock it off!" Finn snapped. "You're going to have to give up this stupid dream sometime. The sooner, the better. You're not going to be some Broadway diva. You're going to end up with a useless degree…bitter at the world. And then you'll come back to me anyway. Making me wait is selfish…and I don't know that I want to. So, here it is," he said, kneeling down. He took the ring out of his pocket. "One last time. Will you marry me?"

"…no."

"What?" he yelled.

"No," she said, furiously wiping her tears away.

"Fine." He picked up her flowers and slammed them into the trash can. "Your secret valentine made you think you were something special. Good luck finding someone else who will deal with you."

"She won't have to search that hard."

Finn wheeled around and Rachel's head snapped up.

Santana was standing in the doorway holding a mug of water with a lemon slice perched on the side. She didn't spare Finn another glance as she walked into the room and handed the mug to Rachel. "You ARE going to nail this audition," she said quietly. "You're going to New York, and you're going to work your ass off to get on that stage. Understand? You're going to be a Broadway diva, and I'll be front row center when you debut in Wicked."

"Santana—"

Santana put one finger to Rachel's lips. "And even if the world went mad and that didn't happen, I'd still be there. Right beside you. You may never be mine, but you should know that you are loved. I believe in you. You'll be amazing."

Rachel's eyes got wide as Santana stood to face Finn.

"You've got three seconds to get the fuck out of here before Snix comes out to play, Hudson."

He sneered at them, but left.

Santana pulled Rachel to her feet. "Why did the turtle cross the road?"

"What?"

"Why did the turtle cross the road?"

"I…have no idea."

"To get to the Shell station."

Rachel snorted and rolled her eyes. "That's awful."

"I know. But crying's bad for your throat. Had to get you to smile somehow."

They were quiet for a long moment as Rachel sipped her water.

"You sent the gifts."

"Yep."

"And all the letters."

"All me."

"So the other day, when I said I might be falling in love with a stranger…"

"My heart skipped a beat."

They were quiet again. The clock ticked away, until Rachel had fifteen minutes to go.

"Come on, let's get to the auditorium."

"I figured this would be where you spilled all your deep repressed feelings and asked me to give love a chance."

Santana grinned. "Later. Now, you have an audition to beast."


The three girls were quiet.

"I have never wanted to kill Finn more than I do right now," Tina said finally.

"Preach," Santana said, grinning. She sobered after a second. "But our princess has a bit of post traumatic stress about the whole thing. Especially when she gets uber worried about theater stuff."

"I think…I think she's asleep," Tina said.

"Thank god…. You get some sleep too, baby girl."

Tina nodded and leaned over Rachel to kiss Santana. Snuggling back down under the covers, she gave Rachel a soft kiss before closing her eyes.