The Lancaster family could only take them two hours from Bethlehem. It was nice of them, but their daughter Janet was bit too intense. She was energetic, talkative, and friendly, but a little too intense even for Gabriel. Mr. Lancaster was kind enough to give them a little money for food, but it was either find another ride willing to go seven hours or steal another car. Gabriel did not want his brothers first human experience to be saddled with a warrant. Michael seemed less anally retentive and that was good. Lucifer wasn't partaking in the act of mass murder and that was good.
Humans have a tendency to hide things. When something hurts too bad they hide it away hoping it won't spring from the box they shoved it in through a passing memory or a feeling in their gut. Michael didn't know who he was anymore, and God knows what was going on in silent Lucifer's head. Gabriel was the youngest sure, but he was also the most capable. He needed to look after Michael and Lucifer. If something those two hid from him came out Gabriel would be there. Usually if something even so much as sounded like responsibility Gabriel would want no part in it, but now he wanted to show his dad he deserved to be resurrected. He'd left his family once; he wouldn't do it again.
It wasn't going to be easy, but someone had to do it. Someone had to step up and be the adult, especially at a time when Luci and Mikey were busy arguing over whether they should buy Kit Kat's or trail mix. Like five year olds, the once archangels tugged a bag of Kit Kat's back and forth trying to get the other to release it.
"Luce, candy is not sufficient sustenance!"
Lucifer frowned and tugged on the bag harder.
Michael growled, "Let go now!"
Lucifer stuck out his tongue.
The two continued their candy tug-of-war, until Gabriel said sharply, "Quit it you two!"
Gabriel learned that, when startled, the eldest archangels will release whatever they have in their hands causing it to go flying through the air.
"What the hell?"
The candy had found a target, and a direct hit was achieved. A young man with raccoon like eyes and a Mountain Dew peered into the aisle, "Um, did one of you lose this?"
Lucifer snatched it before Michael could, and the two continued trying to take it from one another. Gabriel pinched the bridge of his nose, "Sorry about that, Mr. Suitey guy."
The man shrugged, "It's alright. I hadn't ever been hit by Kit Kat's before, so it was a new experience. I'm Ian, by the way."
"Gabe, and those are my brothers Luce and Michael."
Ian asked, "Are you three on a road trip or something?"
Gabriel snatched the trail mix and the Kit Kat's before another brawl could break out.
"Gabriel that was uncalled for!"
Lucifer huffed in agreement.
Gabriel ignored them, "We're kind of on a road trip; the whole brotherly bonding thing. We're headed to Cincinnati. We just need to find a ride."
Ian said, "I'm headed to Atlanta; work stuff. I could take you guys."
Michael tilted his head, "Why would you offer to take us?"
Ian shrugged, "I dunno. It's not like I have anything better to do, and it's just me in Mercedes. So long as you don't try to launch Kit Kat's at me again I could take you. You three don't seem like bad folks."
Lucifer wasn't all that sure the man was telling the whole truth, but he felt no ill intent from the man. Even so, he might not be able to refrain from any Kit Kat launching if the man proved to be a boring traveling companion. Actually, he'd prefer the man be boring than be like that Janet girl. The tiredness about him, and his lame ass loafers were enough to help him lean towards the incredibly boring end of the spectrum.
Gabriel slammed both the trail mix and KitKats on the counter starling the young Gas-an-Sip Employee, "Guess it's settled. We're going in Cincinnati."
Ian smiled weakly, "Cincinnati is the third largest city in Ohio and has a history of a large German and Irish immigrant population. There' s also the Bengals."
Lucifer wondered if Gabriel knew the stiff was lamer than lame.
Michael told Ian truthfully, "We're going not to see any Bengal tigers, Mr. Ian. We are going on very important business, but perhaps you can see them yourself. Why might those tigers be there?"
Lucifer smacked his forehead. He was wrong. Michael was by far lamer than even the guy who was lamer than lame.
Gabriel had the bagged snacks in his hands as he shoved the three men out the door, "Bengals are a sports team, Mikey."
Ian's 2007 silver Mercedes sat waiting in the parking lot.
Michael proclaimed, "I get nauseous sitting in the back. I wish to sit in the front."
Lucifer shook his head rapidly. He wanted to sit in the front.
Michael rolled his eyes, "Luce, you can sit in the back perfectly fine with Gabriel."
Lucifer jabbed Michael in the ribs in response.
Gabriel was busy helping Ian put their bags into the trunk as Michael and Lucifer started batting their hands at each other. Ian asked, "Are they always like that?"
"Arguing like little bitches?" Gabriel sighed, "Yeah, they're always like that."
Ian suggested, "Why don't you try rock-paper-scissors? Whoever wins gets to sit in the front."
Lucifer thought it over. Paper didn't seem to be a very useful weapon, but a rock or scissors could prove suitable for winning. Lucifer wasn't a loser, and he really wanted to sit in the front seat.
"Luci, I know that look on your face. The game doesn't actually involve scissors or rocks. Here let me and Ian show you."
Ian and Gabriel tapped their fist against their hands rhythmically, "Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"
Gabriel's hand in the shape of paper, while Ian's hand was in a fist.
"Gabriel won because paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper." Ian explained.
Michael and Lucifer glanced at each other. Michael tilted his head, "We both think that does not make much sense."
Gabriel put his hands on his hips, "Tough; it's how the game goes. Just do it so we can get moving."
Lucifer and Michael readied their hands just like Ian and Gabriel had done. Michael said the chant for the both of them, "Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.'
Michael's hand was in the shape of scissors, while Lucifer used one of his fingers to jab Michael in the eye. He shoved Gabriel out of the way as he jumped into the Mercedes passenger seat. Michael clamped his palm over his eye and groaned, "Gabriel, Lucifer cheated."
Gabriel knocked on the window, "Lucifer, you're a cheating whore, but we have to get going so you can have the front."
Lucifer grinned. Cheating wasn't a bad thing. It was just another measure to ensure success. That was how Lucifer saw it.
The four drove in relative silence as they made their way down the interstate. Michael pouted in the back, and Lucifer wasn't about to be a chatty Kathy at any time. That left Ian driving, and Gabriel stuck in the back.
Gabriel asked, "Do you want a kit-kat, Ian Iguana?"
Ian chuckled, "You mean the Kit Kat's I got hit in the head with? And why did you just call me Ian Iguana?"
Gabriel dropped a couple Kit Kat's into Ian's empty cup holder in the front seat, "You're names like three letters. It's hard to make a nickname out of that."
Ian opened up one of the Kit Kat's and munched on it, "Sorry, I guess. So, why exactly are you three taking a trip to bond?"
Michael muttered, "Because Father is punishing us."
Gabriel rubbed the back of his neck, "Let's just say we've had some big family troubles in the past. Luce and Mikey have had some big disagreements, and I'd kind of wuss out. Dad wanted us to try and be a family again, and so he sent us out on our own into the world with each other. So, what's this big business thing you're going to be going on?"
"I work in sales; software." Ian replied, "I have to go to Georgia for a conference."
Michael tilted his head, "You are a salesman?"
Gabriel plopped another one of Lucifer's Kit Kat's into his mouth, "You don't look all that sleazy or shady to me. You have a more dead end office monkey who hasn't gotten enough sleep and his wife's cheating on him."
Ian sighed, "Well, I guess you could say I've kind of been stuck into a rut. The pays good, but I don't know. I just hate having to pretend I totally love our companies product when it's actually kind of sucks. I feel like I have to lie right to the customers face when I'm just trying to pay the bills. I don't think my wife's cheating on me, but we have had some difficulties. We have a seven year old girl together, so it's not like I can just quit my job, but..."
"Your job sucks major ass?"
Ian shrugged, "Yeah, I guess."
Michael asked, "What is it you sincerely wish to do with your life?"
"I guess I've never really thought about it." Ian replied, "The companies my uncles, and I've just been with it since I graduated college. I've never done anything else."
Gabriel leaned into the front seat, "You've never thought about what you wanted?"
Michael said, "He has his family to think about. He has his duty to them. When one never does anything else how do you expect them to do something other than that."
Lucifer hadn't meant to listen in on their lame conversation, but what Michael said got him thinking. Michael hadn't ever doubted. Michael hadn't ever done anything that he didn't believe was his duty; what he thought was right for the family. He had never done anything else either aside from those things; Father's will. Now there was nothing guiding him. Lucifer didn't think he had a goal yet aside from surviving crappy human-hood. He couldn't exactly do any of the things he had done before, and who was to say Father would ever accept him again.
Lucifer opened up Ian's glove department box, pulled out a piece of paper, and searched for his pencil stub in his pocket.
Ian tapped his thumbs on the steering wheel, "I've thought about what my wife wanted, my daughter, my uncle, and I know I shouldn't be selfish so-"
Gabriel interrupted, "Thinking of yourself sometimes isn't selfish. If you've got people to take care of, okay, but you can't not think of your own well being. What do you want to do? Do you want to make art? Do you want to build robots? Do you want to teach children? Do you want to protect the public? What do you want? Do you want another Kit-Kat?"
Ian chuckled, "I wouldn't actually mind another Kit-Kat."
Gabriel was very generous when putting 10 whole Kit-Kat's in Ian's cup holder.
Ian said, "You know I have a double major in economics and criminal justice specializing in forensic science. I guess crime scene investigator would be cool, but I'm a grown man, not some kid just graduating."
Gabriel grinned, "Well any other time I'd give some cheap Disney line about not being too old to have a dream, but seriously dude you wanna go CSI: Miami?"
Ian threw an empty candy wrapper at Gabriel, "That TV stuff is all crap. It can be a stressful and emotionally draining, yeah, but my job right now is just...shitty. I know for it I'd have small time frames and need to be precise, but I'm good at that. There would probably be some pretty gruesome stuff worse than stacks of paperwork, but still."
A slip of paper landed in Michael's lap from the front seat. It read: Mike, what do you want?
Michael considered it. Before the whole apocalypse thing happened he had simply wanted order. He had wanted his Father to come home. He had wanted the structure that orders had; Father's will had. He still wanted those things to a degree, but differently now. He was still uneasy about being human, but there was nothing he could do about it. He still wanted their Father to come home, but there was no one giving him orders now. Michael turned the piece of paper over and wrote a short reply before dropping it back to Lucifer.
Lucifer smiled when he read the note: I want my family safe, together, and happy.
That was the Michael he knew.
Gabriel glanced at his brothers then out the front window to see the Interstate 71 North Cincinnati sign, "Ian Iguana. If you're serious about this whole CSI sun glasses douche bag thing. You can help us with a little something, something. It's top secret hush, hush, but we could always need another helping hand."
Ian was hesitant, but agreed anyway, "Alright, it's not like I have anything else to do. My conference isn't for a couple days anyway."
"Now that's the spirit!"
