Rated M. Rated M. Rated M. Just a little fun on the ring. It's not explicit but I'm rating M just to be safe. Enjoy!
Chapter Seven
Bellamy
It has been just one year since it all began. Our life on the Ring began with my tantrum, Clarke's funeral and Murphy's coma. After that life was hard. Every night I was racked with the thought of my sister being trapped underground. Constantly wanting to talk about her, hear her voice, hug her, attempt to help her in any way. Clarke was dead. That fact remained the same no matter how long I cried or how bad my hand hurt from punching the walls.
Monty had finally gotten that algae recipe right. Monty and Harpers love was obvious. They constantly had their arms around each other, wrapped in happiness. To be honest, I was unable to talk to them for a long time. I avoid them. They are happy. They have exactly what I wish I had. They got exactly what I had tried for for so long. And I failed. But they didn't. They got it. They have it, even up here.
Raven works every single day. When we do see her, she is constantly trying to get us back down to the ground or fixing a problem or talking about a solution. She likes the work. It keeps her busy and gives her a sense of purpose. Emori and Murphy are their usual selves. Though it is obvious that both Emori and Echo feel out of place here. They try to understand and get along. I have noticed Emori listening when Raven talks. But it's obvious that Echo is not one of us. She began to participate and talk to us but she will never be Skaikru.
After our small get together and the celebration of one year down, Raven goes back to work. I watch her, sitting in my usual chair but with it turned around to face her work station. Emori and Murphy sit in the corner, talking. She has been trying, and failing, to teach him Trig. They laugh occasionally, constantly not able to succeed in their venture of making each other the opposite team. It's a strange yet perfect relationship.
"Shop op, Creepa," Echo says as she walks into the room and over to Emori. I hear them both talking back and forth in Trig but I am not paying attention to them. Raven is getting more frustrated by the minute. Finally, she hits the panel and then shakes out her fist with a worried and annoyed expression. I stand up and grab her hand. Our eyes meet.
I am reminded once of when I looked into those eyes as she laid under me, just before I feel on top of her.
I can even remember how her lips felt, how I kissed her neck when I picked her up and wrapped her legs around my body. She conformed to me, though not once did we speak. It wasn't until afterwards that she said anything. It wasn't exactly what I wanted her to say. We used each other because we were hurting. And nothing bad came out of it.
"Raven," I say.
She looks annoyed and pulls away from my grasp. I wonder if she was thinking the same things I was. Some part of me hopes that she wasn't. I hope she doesn't remember any of it.
"I'm fine," she assures and goes back to sitting at her chair and working. I don't know if I should try. I haven't been trying all that much lately.
"Raven, take a break," I tell her.
"No. Go sulk about your dead princess, Bellamy. I'm fine!" she shouts.
I turn and leave. I don't have to hear this. That's ridiculous. When I make it back to my room, I feel alone again. These four walls make me feel nothing but lonely. Clarke used to be with me in the four walls of our nighttime escapades.
I put my head back and rest my arm over my face. One year. Just one year of this torture and I have four to go. Four of this nightmare all alone. But it's not just four. When I get back down there, I will be alone. There will be nothing left of Clarke.
No matter how many years go by, she will still be dead.
I hear a knock on my door.
"Go away!" I shout.
"It's Raven," she says from the other side. She sounds angry but there is something else in her voice. She wants me to talk to her or to at least see what she wants.
I open the door and there stands Raven with anger on her face.
"What?" I demand.
She pushes her way into the door and closes it behind her. She slips her shoes off, which some of us don't even bother wearing around this place anymore. It's all our home. Then she pulls her hair out of her ponytail and rips her shirt off. My eyes go wide and I can practically hear my heart in my ears.
"Raven, what the hell are you doing?" I demand.
She smiles and walks toward me.
"We're both angry and have no where to turn. We're all friends here but you and I are the only ones that aren't getting…relief," she says.
"Okay, Raven. We are not the same people that had sex over you losing Finn," I tell her, backing away.
It's not that she's not beautiful and kind. She's my friend. I have trusted her for a long time and we have taken care of each other. But she is just my friend. I don't want this act of need to change that. Then again, maybe we do need to remember how to have fun.
"The rest of the crew is always having fun somehow. You and I are working. You're my friend, Bellamy. I trust you. Maybe just a mutual, momentary sexual alliance will give us the chance to let our hair down for a while," she says with a shrug.
Maybe she is right.
She is unbuttoning her pants as she walks toward me.
"Come on, Bell," she says, putting her hand to my chest. I can't help but smirk back at her.
"It's been a long time," she says.
"So it has, Raven," I agree.
"Do we have a deal?"
I take my shirt off, toss it to the ground and look back at her.
"We have a deal."
It is sealed not with a handshake, but with a prolonged kiss.
