--
Chapter VII: Winning Something No One is Playing
--
The night was young once our bodies collided together. She moaned, hitting octaves higher than ever made into existence and deepened the welts on my back from the night before. Her legs clung to me, begging more of my being and as the Pharaoh I gave more than she asked multiplied by infinity. Teana was hoarse by the end of the night and without a heart I'd rather have woken up without her at my bedside. Instead with the misfortune of actually owning said heart, she now lay next to me curled into a little ball littered in a husky stench.
The first week without my light added onto the stress of being pharaoh. When his presence was confirmed, I was determined that it was the one thing I could truly be happy about; to truly look forward to when the day was long and the nights far too short. It was strange; the emotion bubbling at my stomach. Was one capable of feeling sorely depressed and frustrated at the same time? Once I saw his beautiful face and the encouraging smile dancing across his bright pink lips, a hole formed in my chest, filled by a shallow layer of his essence. The endless gap of my heart hung deep and forced me into one set goal: I wanted more.
I want to hold him; to embrace him and bed him. I want my nimble fingers to cross his gentle jaw, curl to the nape of his neck and hear his quiet whispers breathe my name. What I would give--what I would I adore to devour that alabaster skin, to suck and nibble until he was the one writhing in my arms, hitting octaves not even Teana could mimic. I want him to dig the welts into my back, curl his fingers tight around me and press into me, moved to tears and crying in pure ecstasy.
Great Ra, I needed him badly.
The second week without my light was terrible. The gap deepened, stress piling on as my psyche was elsewhere. Mahado sensed the anxiety and was concerned that I would not recover anytime soon and I was sure that without the shine of those captivating eyes as beautiful as the hues of a sunset, I would die. 'til no end Mana pestered me of whether or not I have made amends with Yugi. Certainly how, I would always bitterly reply, would I make amends with a gentle spirit whom wanted nothing to do with me?
It led to the conclusion that he did not want to see me, but with every implausible question creating the endless labyrinth in my mind came another dead end filled with less hope and lacking in answers. Surely he felt the sensation run through his entire body once our lips met. Did he not fall into a fatal daze as did I when we made contact? How was it possible for such a beautiful face as his to fit so perfectly in my hands and not be considered mine? But it was. The one being who I worshipped as if he were Ra himself was offended by this kiss; disappointed that I would stoop to the level of sorting him into my sexual affairs.
Eventually, Teana sensed my worries and insisted that she relieved me of it. As she is my best concubine and always left me satisfied, it was only logical that she be the one to soothe my troubles. Unfortunately, the wedge only grew deeper. I felt no less troubled than I did on the first day of my frustration. The endless void that drilled through my heart grew and the only thing that could complete it was his essence.
I sighed, wrapping callused fingers around the jewel known as my Millennium Pendant. It lay cold and desolate, the supreme luminance having dissipated. He was gone, wasn't he? I placed my tender lips upon its edges and buried deep in my sheets, almost kicking my concubine out of bed in the process.
"Please," I crooned softly into the moonlit night. "Please forgive me, Yugi, my light."
Later that evening I dreamt that he answered my plea and appeared before me. He was adorned in his normal, strange clothing, amazing as ever as the blue fit his small form. His lips were graced with a smile, amethyst eyes shimmering with love and compassion.
Yugi touched my forehead, brushing away the excess hair and matted a kiss to the crown of my head. "I'm proud of you, my little pharaoh."
I stared at his essence, taken aback by the action and reached out to caress his pallid cheeks.
'I will never leave you…my little pharaoh.'
littleone.
"Such a beautiful morning, don't you think, my pharaoh?"
"Ah…yes." My gaze broke from the window and I felt Teana wrap her arms around my waist. I shifted from the awkward position as she began to kiss my backside and turned to her.
Teana's eyes landed to my legs and a grin stretched her lips. "Such an amazing night, my pharaoh."
"As always, is it not?" I returned her smile half-empty, unsure of what to say. The sun was halfway to noon and for hours had I lay there, fingers wrapped around the pendant. Red marks spliced my hands from when I'd gripped it so tightly and I bent them in attempt to have blood flowing. No avail. With a small grimace, I ran a hand through my hair and faced my harlot. "Are you alright, concubine?"
She glowed palely, eyes half-lidded with lips turned into a sickly frown. Teana nodded slowly and massaged her throat before pushing herself up and into my arms. "I am always at my best when I am with you, Pharaoh Atemu."
I frowned as my body automatically reacted to her sudden movement. Instead, I willed myself to lightly push her away and slid off the bed. The usual slaves appeared to fill my baths and I collected my things.
"Have I displeased the pharaoh?" Teana asked worriedly.
"Displeased would not be the right word," I murmured so softly that only I could hear. No, I thought sadly as my eyes instinctively fell to the pendant, displeased was not the right word at all. If anything, I was displeased with myself, but quite unsure why my constant nights with Teana made me uncomfortable.
Instead with her, I am more on the terms of…frustrated. What was this problem that I was facing; a tension within me that not even having my way with Teana could loosen? The gap in my chest deepened and I scowled out the window, unsure of what could happen.
Teana's voice bombarded my mind: "Great Horus?"
"Teana." I said brusquely. Once the slaves left I gestured to my bathing quarters and eyed her warily. "Come."
Her blood-crusted eyes tripled in size, chapped lips crooning into an 'o' before she rapidly nodded and picked herself up.
"Certainly, my liege." She bowed obediently before me, one hand across her chest. "May I comment that this is the first time since your earlier days that you've asked me to join you in your baths?"
Her voice teemed with smugness, arrogance, and she associated herself with the higher classes. It was irritating; annoying and…unlike my light.
"Cover yourself," I snapped. My glare landed to her bosom and I angrily scowled. "Have some decency, girl."
Suddenly startled, Teana's eyes reached my own, her fury teeming immediately. "Need you be reminded that one bathes with their clothes shed, my pharaoh?"
"Do you dare look me in the eye?" A scowl settled across my jaw and I crossed my chest. Despite the lack of my crown and obvious lack of clothes, the stern tone I used was enough to startle her. "You say it yourself that I am the Pharaoh, girl. Treat me as one; you are my concubine."
"I--! …yes, my pharaoh."
I let her be to collect her clothes and jewels, immediately plopping into the water. It was another day with the same damning, ceaseless cycle. Did the Gods truly wish that I sit here as I was, miserable that the one whom I've adored for years abandoned me? How was I, the Pharaoh of Egypt--no, Atemu, only Atemu--supposed to survive without his presence?
No, I harshly reminded myself. Do not use the Gods' names in vain. Need they punish me more by manipulating Yugi's essence into never seeing me? Or worse, I frowned bitterly. Take him back; take his spirit back and never let me see him ever again.
"My Pharaoh?"
"Teana." My eyes fell to the woman with muddled brown skin. Her tunic hung loosely to her body, breasts erect under the thin material as the material swished back and forth between her legs.
She smirked, obviously catching sight of my enticement before she dare lift the kilt. She bent to my height, dry hand running through my matted tricolor locks as she lowly hummed, "Shall I dance, my pharaoh?"
"Do as you wish."
Teana immediately obligated, lightly tapping her foot in the waters. She raised a hand and swayed her hips as her body became as fluid as the Nile. Her legs shifted and twirled beautifully with the rest of her--
"Enough." My eyes landed to her face and emitted a foul glare. "Come. Now."
A smile dazzled her lips as she fell to her knees and at eyelevel with me."Why certainly, my phara--"
"What are you doing?" I lightly smacked her knee and the scowl worsened across my lips. "Did I say for you to strip of your garment, whore?"
"I…" Her gaze was steady, but quite unsure of what to do. I continued to watch as if she were a hawk, bitterness dripping at my tongue. It irked me how she automatically assumed that she was a part of my court. She was nothing but a concubine; someone that was easily replaceable and at the moment I wouldn't hesitate. Anger entranced my demeanor, but she finally fulfilled her obligations and dipped into the waters still fully clothed.
"Think before you do, girl," I snapped.
Teana growled, eyes narrowing to my form. "Shall I just come up and kiss you or must you permit me to, my pharaoh?"
"You shall do what you are told because at the moment your rank is no higher than one of my many pleasure slaves!" My voice boomed with rage. Did she not understand her position? How I could automatically slit her throat for defying my word? Satisfaction bubbled at my stomach as Teana once again cowered and busied herself with washing up.
Silence followed and I tried best to relax in the waters. My hand fell to the pendant, massaging it gently as the thoughts of Yugi filled my mind. A wary sigh left my lips, eyebrows furrowing.
This would have been the warranted time away from everything and the court where I could speak only to him without any worries. He once did come out, embarrassed by the sight of a bare pharaoh, but we'd gone over the duties needed before the retched festival. Later he entertained me with the stories of his Black Magician; the Mahado doppelganger.
"How does one survive so long without suffering from insanity?" I had first asked him to change the subject from the Festival of Fertility.
Yugi breathed the question in, eyes never leaving mine as a smile danced across his lips. He laughed softly, cheeks tingling bright red. "You've met him, haven't you? The Black Magician. My…guardian."
"Ah," I spoke fondly as we spoke of the mage wrapped in a purple gown, "He is to you as you are to me, I suppose?"
"Not…exactly." Yugi squirmed, eyes falling to the ground as he searched for better words. He was nervous, I sensed. In our little time, I was easily sensitive to his thoughts and I wondered if he was to mine. "It's more like how your relationship is with Priest Mahado."
"They do share an uncanny resemblance."
"Exactly." He grinned, fiddling with a small streak of delicate blond hair. "Priest Mahado gets really worried about you when you are too stressed, you know. Black Magician acts the same way…well, they all do, honestly. Sometimes I think Black Magician just worries the most."
"Is that necessarily a bad thing?" I playfully chuckled, hand resting across the side of my pool. "If these 'spirits' of which you speak of truly make it their destiny to watch over you, then there must be a reason why. 'Tis amazing; this large family of yours. Truth be told, little one, there are times where you do not seem like you are fully paying attention, mesmerized by things. …like you are now. Little one?"
That day was one of many where I caught my adorable spirit gazing into the vast unknown, mouth slightly agape and eyebrows furrowed. I propped myself up, one hand reaching to the little specter's hair and pushing it behind his ear. With all the magic at the tips of my fingers it obliged.
"Little one?" I repeated. He had captivating skin, I noted. Beautiful, alabaster skin untainted by not even the smallest blemish and eyes twinkling with hues of pink not even the best dyers could produce. They were wide and unique, rivaling the eyes of even us Egyptians.
Even through the many foreigners who came and went through my country I had never seen eyes as stunning as those. His entire essence was out of this world. My fingers touched his petite forehead hesitantly as I tried my best not to startle him. I whispered, "Yugi?"
"Bwha?" Just as it had possessed him, Yugi's psyche returned unscathed and brimmed with curiosity. Red dusted across his glowing white skin and he grinned apologetically. "Sorry, Atemu. Didn't mean to zone out like that."
"'tis quite alright." My recoiling hand went unnoticed by him. Instead it returned to my side and I made the move to hide my hardening erection.
Yugi naively smiled, crouching over my form and pushed a hand through the waters. "Hm, warm. What were we talking about?"
"Technically we were on the subject of my priest and your mage's resemblance." I smiled evenly and rested a finger under his chin. He blushed charmingly and swatted it away. "Though we sprouted toward that direction because of my questioning of your sanity."
"Oh, yeah." His eyes widened and slowly Yugi nodded. "Well…"
"Well, what?"
"I was never really that lonely, Atemu." Red swept his cheeks once again and he sheepishly smiled. "I actually didn't get Black Magician until after you and I first met. What I was always proud of no matter if you glided or faltered was the fact that you were tackling your duties as the pharaoh."
Despite his shyness, Yugi was not the type who would beat around the bush. He was forward in his own little way when it came to tackling his problems and tried best not to beat around the bush. Instead he would smile as he did the fated day with my council and try his best to answer the problems. He…always thought of others.
My eyes landed to my concubine, who sat firm and far parallel to me. "Teana."
"Yes," she muttered monotonically like a true pleasure slave, "my pharaoh?"
"Tell me about your family." My eyes narrowed to her form and once again those crusty red eyes doubled in size.
"Why certainly, your highness." As she babbled on about her family, I managed to once again carry my thoughts elsewhere. She told me something of her mother, her father and eventually some of her siblings, but I had never been a listener for petty things. Yugi was the one who kept his eye out for the commonwealth as I ruled from above. He was my eyes and ears as I did my reign.
My hands fell back to the Millennium Pendant as I quietly pleaded for my light to reappear before me. No avail. Instead, my fingers ran across the crest of Ra and I bit my lip. With my adamant, it seemed only logical to drive him out. Still, the adamant of my stubborn mind was blocked by the persistence in my heart. If I were to drive him out, it would only prove that I was evil in his eyes. I wanted him to trust me as he always did, not cower in fear.
"My pharaoh?"
"Yes?" I snapped from my thoughts and cast a glance to Teana.
Her eyebrows furrowed and she frowned delicately. "Shall I stop?"
"No, no. Go ahead." I suddenly looked toward the gown she wore in the water and once again my lips contorted. "Is there a reason why you are bathing with your clothes on, Teana?"
"You…," she said with a surprised tone, "demanded that I keep them on."
"Why," I asked with utter confusion, "would I make a silly demand as that?
She continued on, a cautious glance to my stature. Later once I remembered these actions, I realized she was probably just wary because I could have exploded on her. As she continued on, my thoughts still wandered elsewhere, catching only that her mother had seven children, she being the oldest. Once I finished washing my hair with various soaps I pushed myself out the pool of water and dressed myself.
Teana followed, putting on the dainty robes from before. I stopped her.
"I'd rather you didn't go back to where you came from dressed in the same clothes." I explained after calling a servant to bring one of Mana's white dresses. Though far be it from me to care what my prostitute did with herself, I always disliked having to wear the same clothes two days in a row. It was a personal preference not wanting to watch this woman toddle down my halls in stained garments.
She slowly nodded, pleased at the thought of having a different set of garb to wear.
As I marked my eyes with kohl and began putting on one of my finer tunics, Teana watched with interest and eventually began asking questions.
"'Tis been a while since I've even seen you smirk, my dear pharaoh."
"Oh? Could you really see last night? I assumed you were busy shouting my name to really notice." Over and over. I grimaced, pushing one earring into the hole of my ear. The other soon followed and her questions continued despite my haughty comebacks. Once I was finished, I found her staring at me. "What?"
Instead of flinching with fear as she'd done all morning, Teana left my bed side and brushed the wrinkles out of my kilt. "Please do not behead me for touching you, my pharaoh, but I'd rather you dressed regally than like a toddler."
"…I won't behead you for something like this." I mumbled hesitantly. As it stood, Yugi expressed great dislike for my beheading people when I was given the chance.
"Don't you have people who could dress you themselves?"
"Yes," I confessed. "But I shooed them away long ago." While it was true that I had many seamstresses, I put it upon myself a long time ago to do these things for myself. As a child I was often shoved into uncomfortable, awkward positions and expressed a dislike for it. Finally, Father saw my discomfort and promised that so long as I wore the clothes picked out for me, I could dress myself as I pleased.
"It must be nice," she sighed dreamily. Teana snatched the kohl from my fingers and corrected my work. "To have someone do so much for you, my pharaoh."
"Though I may have so many servants, it does not mean that I use them all. Quite frankly, the six priests at my court are plentiful enough." I arched an eyebrow, amused by the subject. "But does that mean I shall also have six wives? Ridiculous."
"I thought pharaohs only had one wife and plenty junior wives to lovers, my pharaoh." Teana put the kohl on my desk and eyed me curiously.
"Yet only a wife can offer me a true heir. Though I may marry how many and whomever I please, it does not mean I shall do so." I ran a hand through my hair as the thought crossed my mind. With my sudden worry of my light, marriage was out of the question. Mahado had mentioned the elders getting awful concerned of my future, but there was no one who I would consider spending a life with. As it was, many issues were rising in Cairo let alone Egypt for me to ever raise one of my own.
And I did want to raise one of my own.
If I were to ever have a child, then I wanted to be there every waking day, arms open to embrace my son or daughter and to see him or her through their tears just like my father did before his passing. Unfortunately, I despised children.
"Ah. I shall keep that in mind, my lovely pharaoh." Teana kissed both of my cheeks just as the slave arrived with a dress. What was a dress that fell to Mana's knees (an attempt of a gift from Mahado; he was often mortified by the shortness and mid-drift of her many apparel) barely covered more than half of Teana's thighs.
She wrapped a necklace with the feathers of a hawk around her neck and adorned her hair with a beaded wig. A smile entranced her lips. "Staring, my pharaoh?"
"Yes," I replied breezily. "But it isn't like you never do."
Teana sighed softly and bowed. "Shall I return tonight, my pharaoh?"
"We will see."
Once she left, I finished myself and ordered a servant to clean my rooms before stalking off to the kitchen. Along the way, my gaze fell to the Millennium Pendant and I tried pathetically to strike a conversation.
"So," I grumbled quietly. "I suppose you've been graced, am I right? You no longer stumble or falter to the point of coming out and possessing me?" It sat still as cold metal in my grasp. A small growl left my lips and I dramatically sighed. "Great Gods, I've never had to work so hard in my life to get a response!"
I suppose…I suppose I could try breaking it like the first time we met.
At the sudden thought I halted and raised the pendant in my hand. If I were to smash it into the wall, it was quite possible that Yugi would be driven out and forced to complete the menacing thing. At the sudden logic, I eagerly readied myself to shatter it.
…though if I smashed it, I would be, as I said, forcing Yugi out. And if I forced Yugi out, he would no longer appear to me with his tender gaze. And if he no longer watched with a tender gaze, he would no longer offer his shy smile. And if he no longer offered his shy smile, then the beautiful red glow that radiated his ivory skin would not exist. If his radiance did not exist, his luster would not exist. If his luster did not exist, then my lust for his body would be gone.
…
I like my lust for his body.
With an inaudible growl, I cursed myself for my one-track idiocy and left the pendant--fully completed and unharmed--dangling at my neck. 'Twas not fair, I tell you! Not at all! Once I arrived at the kitchen, I ordered for a loaf of bread and a fresh jar of honey before plopping in a seat next to Seth.
"'morning," I grumbled.
"Good morning."
"And what, pray the heavens, is so good about it?!" I tossed my arms into the air overdramatically and buried my face to the wood of our dining table. Many of the slaves stopped, surprised at my outburst. Seth was one of the many shocked by my sudden tantrum. He stood from his seat and rested a concerned hand to my shoulder.
"Are you alright, your majesty?" His tone was steady, but the concern was deep. I could feel Seth's frown embedding into my head.
Isis was next, immediately rubbing small circles in my back. I peeped to her pitying smile. "Shall I see what is wrong, my pharaoh?"
"No."
Seth, on the other hand, was persistent. "But my pharaoh--"
"No."
"Cousin--"
"No!"
"Great Ra, he's finally lost it." Seth recoiled with visible irritation as he ran a hand through his hair. He rolled his eyes and gazed to Priestess Isis. "Shall I leave you two alone?"
"Oh no, no. The more sanity in the room, the better." Isis laughed softly and pressed a hand to her necklace. "Pray tell I have absolutely no idea what he plans to do next, but I assume that we are able to help him. Are we, my pharaoh?"
"Quite possibly," I muttered. Finally, I pushed myself off the wooden table and offered a pleasant gaze to both of my priests.
"Enlighten us, Cousin." Seth's eyes narrowed with growing anxiety. "'Tis the first time you've actually exploded since his disappearance."
At the mention of 'him' I erupted into many growls and gritted my teeth.
Isis squeezed my shoulder reassuringly and massaged my shoulders to soothe my anger. "Maybe 'tis best if you leave us, Seth. I think that your being here is creating more of a disturbance than I thought."
"Gladly. If allowed, do not spare me the details of this conversation later." Seth offered one more look, eyes fixated at the frustration written across my face before dismissing himself.
Once left, Isis peeled a grape and plopped it in my mouth. She smiled pleasantly and for once, I exhaled a heavy sigh and relaxed in her presence. Having grown up without a mother and later without a father, I relied on my court to comfort me. Isis was my only female, holding the title of a priestess and soothsayer high in her hands without ever once bragging about it. She was four years my senior; Seth two and Mahado three.
She was my surrogate mother and sister who I never had. "Do I even have to ask if it is about the spirit, Atemu?"
"Isn't it always about the spirit?"
She studied me quietly, eyes gazing at my essence as she pressed a hand to her Millennium Necklace. A small smile befell her lips and she softly chuckled. "I've never seen someone affect you so dearly."
"He's had that effect on me since I was a mere child," I muttered. "The fact that he does not stand before me worries me, Isis."
"We know," Isis nodded dearly and ran a hand through my hair. "But 'tis not healthy if you continue to dwell on his wellbeing, my pharaoh. Do not give me that scowl, your highness, but I speak the truth. Was it not your father who left the throne for you? Yugi spent his time shaping your life to become a worthy ruler; surely you understand that."
"I…yes."
"He's been doing his job for years, Atemu. Don't disappoint him by not doing your own." She held a sad smile, softly squeezing my shoulder in attempt to comfort me.
I sighed again and buried my face in my arms. "I would rather face Amun than live without my light."
"Your light; your pendant. To see you so possessive is quite amusing, Atemu. And also…very sweet." Isis rested a hand on my own and shook me awake. "The longer you stay as you are, the greater your happiness once he returns, my pharaoh."
"Supposedly." A soft sigh escaped my lips as I pushed myself off the table. Instead of getting up altogether, I sat with my eyes to the incandescent shimmer of her necklace. A small smile graced my lips and I tapped it. "And what does Isis greet you with, Priestess Isis?"
"With all the knowledge by Thoth and the fortune of Isis, they both great me with a clear answer." Isis nodded slowly and smiled. "You shall find eternal happiness with him, my pharaoh."
"Care to enlighten me?"
"Of course not. That would ruin the surprise." She smirked mischievously and rested both hands to her necklace. Her expression softened and she massaged my fingers gently. "Take the day off, my pharaoh. It isn't good if you push yourself any further."
"But--"
"No buts. Not having your specter around stresses you out too much."
"What do you recommend I do? With the spirit, I mean."
"With the spirit I recommend that you wait for him to come to you." A wry smile befell her pretty lips and she withdrew her hand. "With yourself I shall tell Seth to take over with your duties."
"Who else would I trust with those duties, my priestess?" I smirked, hand pushing a stray hair out of my eyes. Seth was my cousin from my father's side of the family; likewise for him. Since our fathers were twins, it was safe to say that if his father was born first, I would have been the priest whereas he was my vizier. A visible shudder ran down my spine and I focused all attention to that one little hair. I was a lucky one, no doubt.
Though the duties of a Pharaoh came as no trouble to me. With a wicked grin I only laughed. This was surely the best retaliation to his vehement words.
"Atemuuu!"
With a vivid flinch I grimaced at the high-pitched shrill and clasped my hands to my ears. "Oh, good day." I spat.
"Oh hush, she's your best friend." Isis grinned knowingly and gestured to the doors where in little time Mana was bursting through. She appeared before us and startled some of the younger slaves. The older servants of course were used to her outbursts and therefore only smiled.
Mana searched wildly with her eyes, mouth open to a wide "o" as she caught her breath. As we met her gaze Mana rushed to our side and slammed her fists into the table. "Why?!"
"Why, what?" I answered her glare.
"Why would you give one of my favorite dresses to your whore?!" She threw her fists in the air mid-tantrum and gritted her teeth. "I haven't even gotten the chance to wear this dress yet and you wasted it on the likes of her?"
"Why would it matter? You said yourself you would rather she strut down our halls in a fresh outfit than in the nude." I arched a wary eyebrow. It was strange for Mana to ever overreact to Teana's borrowing clothes. If I remembered correctly, Mana and Teana were educated by the same instructor before they chose different paths; one of prostitution and the other of magic. They, in fact, got along quite well.
"Yeah?! Well…well…!"
"Mana." All my worries disappeared at the sight of the lone tear trickling down her cheek bone. Mana's eyebrows furrowed, mouth agape and she stared at me emptily. "'Tis only a dress. It should not mean that much to you."
"Well, it does!" She squirmed out of my grasp and stubbornly folded her arms.
With a sigh, I passed a silent plea to Isis to calm my friend down. Instead, she shook her head. "Why don't you two take the day off from everything, Mana? I'll tell Mahado that you won't be attending classes today."
Mana sniffled, hand to her eyes. In a pathetic attempt to calm herself, she pouted and looked away. "s'not like it matters…I never show up, anyway."
"He would be an easier teacher if you were truly dedicated to your lessons, Mana." I mimicked the sternness of Isis earlier. Lessons with Mahado were never bad; I certainly did not know why she insisted on not going. Even someone as I had to take lessons in magic, though not to the extent of my best friend.
She loudly groaned again and shook her head. "I don't want to hang out with Mister Poopie Face if he's going to point out all my faults all day!"
"I wouldn't point out your many faults if you lacked them."
"Well it's not like you're Mister Perfect! Just because you're a living god doesn't mean that you're invincible!"
"Do you ever think before you speak, or does every word you utter come straight from the jackal's ass?"
"Your face, Mister Poopie!"
"Alright, alright. Enough, the both of you." Isis stood between us, one hand pressed to my chest and another to Mana's. She stared at me warily before an amused smile enticed her lips. "Surely you can endure one another's company enough for… a stroll through the market place?"
"And with whose money?" I grumbled.
"Normally yours. But it wouldn't be the same." Mana glared angrily and crossed her arms grudgingly.
Once she did, I suspected that Isis the Goddess was giving me a true look through the eyes of Isis the Priestess. My priestess did not see Mana, the young girl who was the daughter of one of my father's head guards and my closest childhood friend; she saw Mana, the young naïve girl whose eyes swelled red. Her cheeks were puffed, lines visible under beautiful green orbs and hair disarrayed. Her voice had been strained, the tone normally sweet as honey contorted into something far worse than the venom of a snake.
"I suppose…we could go shopping together, Mana," I mumbled hesitantly. Never, I repeated, never have I ever seen such devastation as I did to her crestfallen demeanor.
Her entire stature fell apart. The glare she once held disappeared, replaced with guffaw and emerald beauties doubled in size. "Seriously?"
"Seriously."
"I…I…er…okay…" Without a second word, Mana scampered off to what I assumed change out of her nightgown and I returned to my conversation with Isis.
"She…knows him more than anyone." My eyebrows furrowed and my gaze fell to the woman before me. Many lives had changed because of the way Yugi would stand up for others. I recalled right after our first meeting when I came up with the greatest speech I could have possibly imagined; how he was my father and only I could lead this country. Though at the time when he possessed me, I only thought that my compassion had grown and I was able to see that my people were scared.
Even with my best friend could I not sense her distress? I ran a hand through my hair with a faltering demeanor.
"'Tis your greatest fault, my pharaoh. Though you do not suffer from hubris, you certainly suffer from outright ignorance." A mischievous grin teased her lips and she chuckled lightly. "Go. It has been a while since it was truly you who accompanied Mana."
"Yes. Send Seth my best regar…actually, tell him to stuff his mouth with cotton before I get back." With a roll of my eyes, I left with the sound of her laughter dancing at my ears. Mana was also on her way back once I came to the hallway. She studied me, eyes never leaving the broadness of my face before we walked off in silence.
It was the longest that I'd ever gone without hearing her honey voice when we resided in the same room. She stood by me, occasionally glancing to the pendant. In return, I kept forward without the intention of letting her know I knew she was looking. We left the gates, surprisingly unsupervised and off we were to the market place.
Mana snorted. I looked to her curiously. "Yes?"
"No guards."
"I beg your pardon?"
"No guards," she repeated. Mana gestured behind us and rolled her eyes. "You didn't order any guards to follow us."
"Ah." …I forgot.
We continued in another silence before finally reaching the market. In an instant we were surrounded by the many people, all gesturing to the beautiful bundles at their booth. I watched my friend, anticipating her every movement before even the lightest shake of her head told us to leave.
The market stretched for nearly a mile, doubling also as homes. I ran every possible word through my head in order to strike a conversation; normally she was the one babbling the day away while I pitifully nodded my head in attempt to catch everything.
Finally we halted in front of a small booth in front of many camels. "Mana?"
She tore her attention to the beautiful cloths before her. We both ignored the market man who desperately tried to call my attention to his finest jewels and I reached my pocket for a copper piece.
"Do you want to buy something, Mana?" I called gently.
"What? No." She turned my eyes, quickly alarmed by my interjection. "We can leave now." She stood to the tips of her toes and leaned forward in attempt for an exit, but I grabbed her arm and stopped her.
Instead of pulling the copper piece nestled tight in my fingers, a gold one appeared instead. I bent to the merchant and offered the gold piece for a necklace. He jumped with glee and enthusiastically dropped the necklace between my fingers.
"Isis's birthday isn't for another month or two, Atemu." She arched an eyebrow.
"Not everything I buy is for the one I treat as my sister, Mana." As we scurried away from the booth I turned her body and pushed her hair above her shoulders before tying the jewel around her neck.
She gasped. "Atemu! This is…this is…"
"It mimics the Millennium Necklace. Smaller, correct?" I lightly twisted her body once more and admired my handiwork. "Though…it fits perfectly around your neck. It's more like…"
"A choker." Mana completed. She brushed a hand across the eye of Ra and slapped my arm.
"Ow. And what was that for?"
"For getting me such a nice gift after I spent all morning calling you Mister Poopie." She wrapped her arms gently around my form and as I hugged back I realized that this was the first time we'd embraced since the Min Festival. When she released her hold, a smile dazzled her gleaming face and a small breath of relief left my lips.
"That's right, isn't it? You disgraced the name of the living Horus." I smirked, hands propped at my hips. "Your punishment today is receiving every gift I force upon you. Understood, child?"
"Oh, if I just have to, great Horus!" she mocked with grace and another grin spread across her lips.
We went from merchant-to-merchant buying aghast gifts that ranged from the finest jewels to the silliest of toys. So many things were in my grasp that now I truly wish we did have guards to carry them. With a small laugh here and there, I'd realized that the last time I truly spent a moment with Mana was when we were children, before I became the pharaoh.
Nostalgia shimmered at the pit of my stomach. Had I truly been this oblivious to my friend after all these years? What good was it to shove Yugi in my place, though giving him freedom but selfishly forcing him into time with my friend when I did not want to?
"Mana," I called for the umpteenth time, "your eyes have not left that cloth since we first came to the marketplace."
"What? Oh…I know. Sorry." She smiled with embarrassment and tucked both hands behind her.
"Is it…this cloth that your eyes will not leave?" I gestured to the soft blue one and laced my fingers between its threads. "We can buy it and ask for the seamstress to make you a dress if you want."
"No…it's fine." Her eyes doubled in size and quickly she looked away. "It's just…"
Ah. "The soft blue cloth he wraps around his arm, correct?"
Mana shifted between her feet. Finally, she quietly squeaked, "Yeah."
I moved forward with the goal to buy the silk cloth. Instead, Mana grabbed my wrist and dragged me elsewhere without another word. "Mana! Release me at once! Mana! Mana. …Mana?"
"I'm fine!" Her voice was nothing above an audible whisper. As she came to an abrupt halt in front of another vendor, I collided into her. A small 'oof' left her lips as we fell over each other before she whined. "Atemu, get off!"
"I wouldn't have to get off if you warned me about stopping," I grumbled. Instead of getting to my feet I sat parallel to her in the middle of the road with a grip firm to her wrist. For a moment Mana sat still in my grasp and I once again caught her demeanor: sadness. Happiness that first bubbled at her features disappeared once again replaced with the fragile little girl as breakable as glass. My fingers coiled around the gold band upon her wrist and I tugged it softly.
"Let's go somewhere else," I murmured apprehensively. The many desperate glowers and Cheshire grins ran a shudder through my body. Lightly I once again pulled at her wrist with the set destination being an empty street where little kids played. With no avail getting Mana to even utter my name, I paid a copper piece to a willow old lady selling bread. Mana was mounted in the dirt, arms across from her and staring forward. Once back she greeted me with a small smile and tore part of the loaf for herself.
"Yum," she said thoughtfully.
"There are normally days at end I wish that the gods would answer my pleas and silence your snide remarks. Now I wish 'tis only temporary." I gave her a pitiful glance and plopped a piece of bread in my mouth.
"Please!" She laughed with cheeks as chubby as a child. "How many times have I told you that you're not as perfect as you think you are?"
"Four-hundred and twelve alone after the Min Festival. So I've been told many, many times." With a small smile I took her hand and playfully shoved the loaf of bread between her lips.
Mana sighed wearily and laid her head at the indent of my neck. "This is nice though. Thanks for trying to make me feel better."
"We haven't done such things together since we were children." Another smile graced my lips and I pushed a lock of chocolate hair out of her face.
"Since before you became the pharaoh." Her tiny fingers delicately wrapped around my wrist and she rested a cheek to my own. Her warmth tingled through my chest and out of instinct I hugged her. We sat in the middle of the street in comfortable silence hearing nothing but the soft giggles of children and the crackles of the willow old woman's stove. Mana sighed languidly and collapsed to the ground, ultimately taking me with her.
"Mana--! What are you doing?" I stifled a grin as soon as she tackled me and rolled through the dust. As abruptly as it started, she stopped and erupted into giggles.
"Tag," she chirped, "you're it!"
Before I had a chance to protest, Mana burst into an all-out dash and I chased her like a cat to his mouse. Unfortunately with the many clothes I wore compared to her light linen dress, Mana had the upper hand. At every twist and turn was another explosion of adrenaline. I was absorbed by the thrill, dying as the pharaoh and reborn as the little boy innocently rushing off to his friend and yet to be chosen as the prince of Egypt.
In the middle of our chase I realized the ultimate conclusion to how those such as my light and best friend were able to stay the way they are. Though with the years came more knowledge, Mana retained her delicate quirks and mischievous antics while those such as Mahado, Seth, and particularly me grew up too fast. I'd forgotten the many things that could make one smile and shoved them to Yugi. As I'd said time and time again, Mana and he fit together and certainly looked nice together.
At last I finally caught up with the unbearably bearable young woman and tackled her to the ground. Mana burst into squeals as I buried my head in her stomach and we rolled off. As we finally got up, I realized that her chase actually got us back to the front gate.
"Wow," I remarked. "You're a quick little devil."
"Well of course!" she exclaimed dramatically. "While you and Mahado were busy being adults, I actually enjoyed my childhood."
I blinked. Had I not just established that? With a roguish grin I helped her up. She immaturely giggled and collapsed in my arms with a quaint sigh.
"Maybe that's what I always thought of him."
"Of who? Mahado?"
"No…Yugi." She smiled apologetically as I visibly stiffened at the name. Mana looked up and tugged at a stray lock of blond hair. "I think…I kinda always knew he was there. I mean, I couldn't sense him the way you or the priests could, but…yeah, I think I knew he was there."
"Care to elaborate?" I leaned against the wall and crossed my arms.
"Just the way he would sweep me off my feet whenever I arrived. He's literally your walking contradiction, Atemu." Mana laughed softly and messed with her own hair. "You would say 'no', but he always said 'yes.' I never questioned it. I was just happy that you would change your mind on your own to come play with me since…you're always so busy being pharaoh."
"And were you saddened at all when you found out that I was not the one you were playing with?"
"A little…but not a lot. I'd walk around with you and part of the time you were either you or the other you and it confused the heck out of me!" Mana threw her hands in the air dramatically and rolled her eyes. "Until he's willing to return, I'm just…sad."
"That your time together will only be a memory?" I frowned.
"Yes…no. I was happy because both of you would spend time with me. Now that he's gone, you won't even force yourself to hang around with me…since you don't have time and stuff, you know?" Mana frowned and shook her head wildly. "Never mind…it's complicated."
"Mana," I sighed and pulled her into an embrace. With a kiss set gently across her forehead I offered a smile. "I will always have time for our friendship. Though my only concern is whether it is I you wish to spend time with or Yugi."
"Both of you! I want to spend time with both of you!" She tapped the Millennium Pendant happily and grinned. "Do you think there's some way we could actually do that?"
"I…don't know," I confessed. With an arched eyebrow I thoughtfully rubbed my chin. The only time his entity was truly separated from mine was when Mahado was separating the ka of that man, Enu. The night when we first met also seemed plausible, but never could I recall a time where he and I actually 'separated' very accurately.
"Pharaoh!"
"Urk."
"That's not good." I tore away from Mana, eyes casting a glance to the opening gate. Isis and Mahado burst into a run until they finally reached me along with five or six guards.
Mana groaned. "You know who they're going to blame for this, right?"
"What do you mean by that?"
"Mana!" Both of my priests halted abruptly, glaring icy daggers to my best friend. Mahado brought his hands to his hips and mercilessly scolded her. "At this time of day you decide to go out into the marketplace without any supervision?!"
"I'm fine," Mana huffed. She pouted, nose high in the air. "He's fine too, so you can call off your guards and…whatever!"
I nodded in agreement and waved them off. Though hesitant, they understood their place and left immediately. Isis sighed and pressed a hand to Mahado's shoulder. "They only needed the day off, Mahado. You need not worry about their current state."
In an instant the stiff Mahado became as limp as honey. He gestured all of us within the gates. "I suppose. Do understand, Mana, in the realm of things 'tis best if you stay inside with the rest of the children."
Mana gaped. "Children. Did you just call me a child, Mahado?! A child!"
"It's not that you're a child, per se, Mana." I rubbed my chin thoughtfully and rested a hand to my hip. "'tis more like you have a charm graced by the gods and are very in touch with your inner child. 'Tis a gift, truth be told."
"He called me a child!" she whined indignantly.
Isis smiled wearily and tugged at her arm. "Come. You must be famished after being out all day with the pharaoh, Mana. We'll get you all washed up and then we can study the text books."
"Okay…" Mana once again pouted, hands to her side before finally giving in.
As they finally left, I caught Mahado's eye and we had the silent agreement of escorting me to my room. The sun was already setting by the time Mana and I had finished our shopping. It was only now that I actually realized it along with the fact the last time I had food was early this morning. A grimace swept my cheeks as my stomach conveniently snarled.
"Honestly," Mahado muttered in frustration. "I just don't understand that girl."
"Perhaps if you tried a different approach," I said. "She doesn't exactly take you seriously as she does with Priestess Isis."
"I have tried every approach I could possibly think of!"
"'Tis probably a good thing that Mana is so attached to your future wife." I smiled pleasantly. For as long as I remember, Mahado and Isis were considered the best in their field. Added along with Seth, they were absolutely unstoppable. Isis was the daughter of the nurse who took care of me. Later her mother had passed away from a severe illness and she brought it upon herself to become as well-equipped and skilled in medicine as she possibly could.
Mahado coughed in a poor attempt to stifle the red blistering his cheeks. "I've told you countless times that she and I are not betrothed, my pharaoh."
"And I've told you countless times once you are, I personally will conduct the ceremony myself." An unusual smirk befell my lips and I rested my hands on my hips. "I'm sure Mana sees it as well."
"Yes, well…while we are on the subject of my student," he muttered awkwardly, "how is she doing?"
"Better, I suppose. We spoke many words and I've come to realize just how much I've taken her friendship for granted." Was that not an understatement. Another frown tickled my face and I shrugged. "I shall help mollify whatever negative energy ruffles her."
"She lacks control over her emotions." He grunted unpleasantly and grimaced. "If she were to collect herself better…"
"It's not as if she could have control over her emotions. She's a woman, isn't she?" Without any hesitation, Mahado quickly agreed. I ran a hand through my hair, the oozing thought of Mana's miserable form dancing in my mind. I shrugged. "Though it makes me curious."
"Oh?"
"Of what type of child the two of you would end up with. Quite a controversial topic, don't you think?" A sly smirk befell my lips as I shed my earlier irritation and replaced it with interest about the subject. "With her hardheaded enthusiasm and your responsible quirks, whatever child was spawned from your mating would have to be crafted by the gods themselves."
"Pharaoh!" His eyes doubled in size as I rubbed my chin. "Please tell me you aren't really considering that possibility."
"Then Ma'at would murder me for lying. But since you are mortified by this subject, we may save it for later. Ah, Mahado," I stopped, my own eyes widening in size as the astonishment teemed at my lips. "He has a mage that reminds me of you."
"'He'? By 'he', do you mean the spirit of your Millennium Pendant?" He gestured to it curiously.
"Yes. The resemblance is uncanny and frightening. The same goes for his female mage to Mana. Though…now I question whether or not there is a woman in his soul room who resembles Isis…or the magician child between his two mages…hm." I looked to the ground as if it had all the answers and only shrugged. There wasn't much else to say on the subject.
"How are you holding up, my pharaoh?" There was hesitation in his voice when he finally decided to ask this question. For now I noticed the difference between my priest compared to his magician. Mahado was wary of his words where Black Magician was not.
I shrugged. "I suppose it could be worse. …what? Wipe that demeanor off your face and do not look so surprised!"
"Has your trip with Mana really made you that relaxed?" His tone was soft, but impressed. Mahado chuckled softly and shook his head. "She has that affect on the both of you, doesn't she?"
"Yes," I replied listlessly. Mana's happiness was the best thing about her. "And what about you, Mahado? Surely you've sensed his presence before his big revealing just as Mana did."
He nodded hesitantly. "It's…quite a drastic change between you and him, my pharaoh."
"Oh? How so?"
His cheeks bloomed red. Mahado rested both hands on his hips and he stammered, "Well…to say it clearly…between both you and young Yugi, my pharaoh…his personality compared to yours…his…kindness…per se…"
"He is gentle where I am not," I finished for him. "I am harsh where he is benevolent. I am cruel when he is forgiving. He is sympathetic to when I am ignorant. Surely this is the drastic change you speak of, Mahado?"
"…yes."
"Right." I clasped a hand over the pendant and softly caressed it with a saddened smile. "He deserve the title of the Living Horus as much as I do, my priest. Without him, I am nothing. Did I not tell you that he was my light?"
"A magnificent light indeed, my pharaoh." He rested a hand to my shoulder and squeezed it softly as we finally halted in front of my chambers. "Rest for the night, my liege. Certainly you've had a long day."
"Yes," I murmured softly. "Good night, my priest."
My eyes never left the Millennium Pendant. Once again I sat alone at my bed, isolated from the world with thoughts toward nothing but my beautiful light. Today had been the longest I had gone without being able to see him. Without his presence, I was readily able to die; to cause my own murder. If Hathor allowed and Seshat were my scribe, I would go to the very ends of the earth to find him and write down every word uttered from his intoxicating lips. Until he was dubbed mine I was left lonely in the dark in the grasp of Amun and the claws of Osiris.
I needed him. Gods, I NEEDED him.
With a disheartened sigh, I lay in my bed and closed my eyes.
littleone.
"Atemu."
"Mm."
"Atemu…!"
"Mm."
"Atemu!"
"By Ra, what on earth could you possibly--Yugi?" I sat erect in my bed, eyes narrowed to the spirit straddling my waist. My mind memorized the breathtaking scene of the small spirit's large bejeweled eyes, beautiful charcoal and shining hair, and the cute jaw rivaling that of a kitten. He grinned happily, hands pressed to the pendant before he cupped my face.
"I wanna show you something."
"Show me something?" I peered to the rest of him in attempt to see whatever he had with him.
For a moment my light's eyes flickered in confusion. He wrapped his delicate fingers around my wrist and pressed it to the Millennium Pendant. For a moment I only observed his nimble fingers, how stunning and dainty they seemed compared to my own. His touch was warm; warmer than Mana's and twice did it send sparks at my body.
"It's something I found today." A coy grin spread across his lips and the red cascading his cheeks was imminent. "Will you come with me?"
"Of course," I murmured without a second thought. I would go to the ends of the earth if Ra would let me for my little light. "Where is it?"
"Inside the puzzle…er…my mind…one of those two."
"I will fetch Karim--"
"No!" Yugi giggled, his smile possibly widening. I frowned in confusion, quite unsure of what to say. "Just…close your eyes, Atemu."
"Close my eyes…?"
"Close them. And focus. On me."
That was not a problem. I lay my hand on top of his, eyes slowly closing as I remembered even the smallest detail of his form. From the small freckle above his eyebrow to the gleam of hope that danced in his pink irises. His smile graced my mind, how it radiated with nothing but happiness as his cheeks flourished red instinctively. His bangs framed his plump cheeks and the ray of ebony hair sparkled as a star-shaped crown above his head. His rhythm of breathing fell into mine and I'd felt the tears swell in my eyes.
How long had it been since I'd cried? Years? Yes…I'd not cried since my father's death and since then looked to a brighter day. To him. Oh, Yugi…I would go to the farthest corners of the universe to seek you and that bashful grin. How I longed to journey through your very soul and find every pleasure point in your body. Never have I felt this need for someone in my life and more.
"…okay," he whispered. "Open your eyes."
I did as I was told, eyes fluttering to the captivating sight of my light. My eyes fell to his glowing face, the hint of a fading blush across his features. Once our eyes wove together in an enchanting gaze, the sanguine of his face teemed darker and he coyly smiled.
"And what do you see?"
"…true beauty."
His eyes doubled in size for a moment, eyebrows stretching to the edges of his forehead before emitting a playful nod. He gestured behind him and only then did I truly see what he wanted me to. An amazing night sky filled with endless stars like the countless grains of sand blanketing Egypt. They crossed the sky treading the shimmering midnight blue waters under us--where were we?
On a boat. I held a small grimace back; never being one to actually enjoy boat rides. Rarely did I ever step foot on one and I preferred riding horses instead. Yugi must have sensed my unease. He laced our fingers together and tugged me to the side of the metal contraption.
"It's amazing, isn't it?" He sighed proudly, eyes lifting to the stars. "I've been working on this one for quite some time now."
My thoughts never left the little fact that we were indeed still holding hands. Little jolts tingled between our skin and I squeezed it tightly. "Where are we…Yugi?"
He paused for a moment, eyes glazing with an emotion even I could not comprehend. Instead, a small feeling rumbling at the pit of my stomach and I felt a type of surprise and uneasiness. It was immediately shrugged off and he continued to answer my query. "In my soul room…my memories, to be specific."
"Your memories?" I repeated. At the realization of where I now resided, my eyes surfaced back and forth to the many sites. This was where my light's origins lay and never had I felt so honored to be given this privilege.
"Shh." Yugi laughed at my excitement and cupped my cheeks. He stood to the tips of his toes and brought his face to mine. On an unrelated note, I realized once my eyes fell to his form that he had adorable toes. "You think too much, you know that? Look at the stars. I wanted to show you the stars."
I did as I was told, eyes wandering to the amazing skylight of his memories. "'tis a beautiful sight. Though it fails in comparison to you."
There was a small squeak. I immediately looked to my side, blinded by concern when he presumably fell and took note of the red enveloping his cheeks once again. "S-sorry," he stammered as I helped him up. "I just…I guess I just forgot how…blunt you can be."
"Is that not just the typical reaction, Yugi?" I ran a hand through my hair and looked back to the skylight. I had to watch myself; watch what I said. The gods had taken pity on me and let me see him again. All I wanted to do was embrace and shower him with kisses. All I wanted was him.
"Yeah, I guess…sorry I kinda just tackled you. Once I saw this, all I wanted to do was see you." I felt the sincerity in his words tug at my aching heart. He giggled again. "Atemu, turn here for a second."
"Yes?"
"Just…a second…good." He smiled at his accomplishment of pushing a bang out of my face. "Wow. Sometimes I see you so much with that crown that I forget what your forehead looks like."
"I must be lucky for not gaining a tan line with it constantly adorning my head," I muttered wryly. His eyes widened in surprise and immediately he burst into a fit of laughter. With a smile dancing across my features I joined him and shook my head. When we finally ceased, my eyes once again landed to his form and my satisfied demeanor was quickly fading. "Yugi--"
"Wait--! Stop!"
I fidgeted and looked to Yugi for an answer. A grimace crossed his demeanor and he cast a glance to the ground. I instead turned around to watch the scene that was unfolding before me. True…and utter disgust.
A child ran across the boat with what appeared to be small pieces of papyrus between his fingers. A wicked smile curled at his features and right behind him followed…another Yugi! I felt the one behind me tense and quickly snatch my hand between his fingers.
"Don't run to help him, Atemu," my light murmured.
The child the other Yugi was chasing threw the red papyrus overboard and that Yugi truly looked devastated. The scene continued for many moments, but I'd already turned my head to my light. He smiled sadly and shrugged.
"I don't know what he threw overboard," he said before I even had the chance to ask. "I don't know why he had that intent, either."
"Why not?" I demanded aggravatingly. This Yugi was so small…so frail, so helpless. If I'd been there to help him, whatever those small sheets held could have been saved. Not even in his memories did I want to see him so crushed!
Yugi sighed and pressed a hand to his forehead. "I…don't remember a lot, Atemu."
That certainly caught my attention. "What do you mean?"
"Do you…remember what I last told you? Nearly a month ago when you and I first met face-to-face? My first memory was waking up in this world?" I nodded. He bit his lip and sighed. "That was my only memory for a while."
My eyes doubled twice in size. "Come again?"
A frown enticed his lips and soon the explanation rolled out of his tongue. "I don't…remember everything. When I first woke up to fix the puzzle that night, all I knew was your name was Atemu and I needed to help you in every way that I could. The only other thing I remembered was my name. I don't have my memories. They're scattered, and every once in a while they'll just come to me."
"Is that why…"
"Why I look like I'm spacing out so much? Yeah, that's exactly why." Yugi shrugged nonchalantly. "It's not that big of a deal--"
"Of course that is a 'big deal', little one!" A frown danced across my lips. With a small groan I pinched the bridge of my nose in order to collect my thoughts and still I found this method failing. "Why, I cannot imagine how much pain you must be going through because of these memories. By Ra, here I am choking by the sin of vanity to realize you have got far better things on your mind!"
"Sin of vanity?" he repeated. Yugi perked a curious eyebrow. "And what do you mean by that?"
"What else would I mean? Your anger against me, Yugi." By instinct I deflated and collapsed against the railing with an uneasy stomach. Even as a child I never did well over Yamm's territory. I pleaded to Hike to soothe my uneasiness and once again Yugi felt my discomfort. He crouched before me, shimmering eyes narrowed to my form and lips tucked into a frown.
"Explain."
"What do you mean by--"
"Explain."
"…you're angry with me, are you not?" I sighed softly and folded my arms. "Such an impulsive move on my part…once you would not answer my pleas I only wanted to see you to beg for your forgiveness. For one as great as you, even I should not have acted so rashly."
"Uh…what?" He blinked.
"I kissed you."
"Oh…OH." His eyes doubled in size and immediately red teemed at his skin. Not long after his entire demeanor vanished under a coat of bright sanguine and he shook his head. "R-Right…that was…me and you…not really….er…um…bah."
"Wise words spoken," I grumbled.
"So you…you thought I was angry with you? This entire time?" His ears subdued to pinkness as he laced his fingers together. "A-Atemu…I mean, for the k-k-kiss and all, I was pretty…shocked…but it's not like I was ever angry at you."
Though there was a negative emotion simmering at the pit of my stomach, my excitement easily overpowered it. I perked to the sudden revelation, eyes widened with surprise. "I beg your pardon?"
"I…told you…" he squirmed under my gaze just as he'd done long ago when his embarrassment and shyness shrouded his bold ferocity. "I've been overwhelmed by my memories, s-silly…for a while I've been in the furthest depths of your mind trying to figure them out. It's only now that they're slowing in pace and…this memory really popped out to me. I wanted to share it with you."
"You," I said quietly with stupidity nibbling at my psyche, "were never angry at me."
"Er…yeah."
"'Yes', you were most certainly angry with me or 'yes' you were most certainly not?"
"Yes, I was never angry with y...Atemu, are you blushing?"
"I most certainly am not."
"Right." A smile danced across his features and he cupped my face. "Did you really miss me that much?"
"I…" I watched him peculiarly, eyes narrowed to his and his petite, scarlet nose. My fingers fell to his delicate face and I caressed it softly. "I would have rather suffered a million deaths than endure another day without my adorable light, little one."
"R…right…" His eyes instinctively turned to look away, but I did not allow him.
"Your shyness is cute, my light." A chuckle left between my lips and I pressed my forehead to his. With slow ease the queasiness I once felt was dissipating. With him in my grasp absolutely nothing seemed impossible. "Though I wish I had a better understanding of what went through that mind of yours."
Yugi squirmed under my gaze and evenly darkened under his memory's moonlight. He closed his eyes and sighed. "Could you…not do that?"
I arched an eyebrow. "Not do what, my light?"
"Er…everything…really." He scooted away, the once warmth in my arms quickly disappearing as he continued to mess with his fingers. "I know you're excited about my revealing myself and whatnot, but it's…it's not like the entire world needs to know about my existence…you don't have to include me in everything, Atemu. I'm content with where I'm at."
"Do you truly find discomfort at my court?"
"W-Well…not exactly…okay, yeah." Yugi stood up. "I've been alone for five years in this puzzle, Atemu. I…I'm not ready to take such a large step. We can take that step…in itty bitty small steps."
"Alright." I nodded.
"Really?"
"Yes, of course. Did you think I would say otherwise?" He nodded with embarrassment, but I could only grin. I was beginning to realize that there had been many mistakes I'd made between me and my light. If I wanted him to be mine, I needed to understand what he needed. Never again, I promised myself, would I ever overlook anyone's feelings, especially his. Almost as if he could hear my thoughts, he mimicked my grin and pulled me into a hug.
"Thank you. It means a lot to me; a lot to everyone."
Though startled, I hugged him back. For a moment I'd relished his scent yet again, finding it so breathtaking how he was able to fit perfectly in my arms. I brought his face to mine and caught his gaze. "I want to help you look for your memories."
"Bwah?"
"I want to help you look for your memories," I repeated. It hadn't occurred to me how even this I'd come to take for granted. As the pharaoh, anything I did would be written down in tablets and tablets to come; marked with my history and later the pharaohs after me. Whatever action I took as the King of Egypt had historical value and I would be remembered for it for times to come.
If one had told me long before the Millennium Pendant became my possession that my name was important, I would have shrugged it off as being just the pharaoh. As a human being I now stood proud holding my name; knowing what I'd done in the past to help my people and what I would soon do in the future to help them. Never, I thought, would I ever forget something as important as my own name.
With Yugi was no different. If I were to locate his missing memories I would be the happiest person in the world. We were bonded mind and soul, and if parts of him was missing, they were certainly gone from my mind as well. He stared at me, eyes wide with surprise. "Are you sure?"
"My determination to help you burns as brightly as Ra, my light." A small smile danced across my lips and I pressed my lips to his forehead. "For years you have acted as my guardian. Please allow me to take your burden and protect you, little one."
"…wow." He looked away, eyes flickering with an uneasy emotion. Yet again the feeling appeared in my stomach; confusion and the state of being overwhelmed. Though I myself felt nothing but burning determination, I finally realized something: were these Yugi's emotions? Was I truly able to sense his thoughts and be attuned with his heart?
I looked back to him, silently asking this question and pleading for an answer. Instead, he gently shoved me away.
"Can you…go now?" he whispered.
"Go?" My eyes widened. "What do you mean?"
"Please," he murmured. Yugi pressed a hand to his head and shut his eyes. "Go."
"Wait," I frowned. "Yugi--"
"I." His eyes shut tight and he gritted his teeth. Sweat matted his forehead before he hesitantly opened those beautiful amethyst orbs again with a smile weaving across his pallid cheeks. "I'll see you in the morning, Atemu. Good night."
I hadn't a choice in the matter. With a wicked flash of light I clinched my eyes shut and prepared for the worst. Once they opened again I appeared in my room at the dusk of night, pendant illuminating between my fingers.
"…night," I muttered.
--
Author's Note:
So…anyone notice that during the transitions, "little one" was only used once? Haha. Well, I know you guys are used to my constant updates, but it's been a busy week. Hopefully this chapter makes up for it; I had to cram a lot in here since I wanted all of it to be specifically in Atemu's thoughts. The next chapter's a doozy, I hope you enjoyed this one. Thank you so much for reading so far, you won't regret it!
