Rachel opened her eyes and sat up quickly before remembering where she was.

"Oh good you're awake. I made coffee." Rachel looked over to the kitchen where the voice was coming from. "I don't know why you called me so late but you need to get your shit together Berry. I can't be housing in stray people every night."

"I know. I'm sorry, San. I just didn't have anywhere else to go." Rachel got up from the couch and headed over to the pot of coffee and poured herself a glass.

"I'm not good with talking about stuff so if you've come to me for a shoulder to cry on then you have totally mistaken our friendship here."

"I didn't come here to talk. I came here to have somewhere to sleep. I just don't want to be around my roommates right now. That's all."

"I'm sure there's more to that Miss Rachel Berry."

"Well you don't want to hear about it so I'd advice you to leave it alone or I might need a shoulder to cry on." Rachel joked which made them both laugh. It was interrupted by Rachel's phone ringing. She sighed and got up to get it.

"Is it one of your roommates?" Santana asked as Rachel declined the call.

"Yeah I have a few hundred missed calls from them." She took a sip of coffee. "You would think they would realize I don't want to talk right now." She opened up her text messages from Finn and scrolled through them.

Rach, answer your phone!

I didn't mean what I said

I was still a little drunk

How the hell would you expect me to react to that news?

I'm sooo sorry. Please talk to me.

I guess you don't want to so I'm going to go to sleep but call me if you need me

Stay safe please

Rachel sighed. She really wasn't ready to talk to Finn yet. She didn't want him to know about the miscarriage so soon but it's too late now. He probably has a million questions for her.

"It must be pretty serious huh?"

"For someone that's not good with talking you ask a lot of damn questions."

"Damn Berry! You growing some backbone?" Santana joked.

"Sure if that's what you want to call it." Rachel turned her phone on silent and threw it back on the couch where she slept the night before. "It's more of I'm sick of people and their bullshit."

"Well that works too. You need to start getting ready. We got to be at the theater in one hour."

"Alrighty then."

...

Rehearsals were killer. Rachel dragged her feet back to her dressing room ready to get her bag and go straight home and crawl in her bed. She didn't even care if she saw Kurt or Finn in the process. However, she wasn't aware of the fact that Kurt was actually in her dressing room waiting for her. She saw the reflection of his face in her mirror before she actually saw him.

She turned quickly to him. "Shit! You scared the hell out of me!" Rachel was gripping her chest waiting for her heart rate to slow down.

"Yeah I can say the same to you." Kurt stood up from his seat on the couch. "You just storm out the apartment and don't tell anyone where you're going. Finn was freaking out last night and I had to calm him down! He was so worried about you that he was about to go out and search for you. Then I would have had two lost roommates!"

"Kurt, I'm tired and I really don't feel like doing this right now so can we talk about this after opening night because I'm worn out and pmsing and I just feel like shit." Rachel mumbled while packing her bag. "Do you have somewhere to go or do you want to take a taxi home with me?"

"I'm going on a date tonight. I was just stopping here on my way." He looked away and wouldn't meet her eye.

"Well I hope it goes well. I'll see you later okay?" Kurt nodded his head and she turned and went to leave

"I want to talk about this eventually, Rachel!" He called as she walked down the hallway ignoring him.

...

Rachel entered the apartment quietly not trying to make too much noise just in case Finn was home. Her plan was to slip into her room unnoticed and lock her door but that didn't happen.

As she passed the opening to the kitchen someone called her name gently. "I made you dinner." She turned quickly and met Finn's eye. She'd be lying if she said her heart didn't skip a beat at the sight of him.

"I'm not hungry." She turned back and headed toward her room.

"It's your favorite! Vegan spaghetti with a green salad. I even went out and bought your favorite dressing to go with it!" She stood still for a second.

"Kurt told you that was my favorite?" She cocked up an eye brow at him and crossed her arms.

"No you told me on our date that time. You probably don't remember that well but I do." Rachel stared silently at him. "Just please come eat dinner with me. We don't even have to talk." She sighed as her stomach growled.

"Fine and then I'm going to my room and going to sleep." Finn smiled brightly and quickly made her plate. Putting a little too much on it for her but she didn't complain.

They ate quietly for a while until Rachel heard him whisper "I'm sooo sorry, Rach."

"I thought we agreed on no talking?" She spit back.

"I know... I just... I want you to know how horrible I feel about what I said to you and how I have treated you." He looked down at his plate and she saw a tear fall from his eye. "I think I'm going to move to California and finish my firefighting training there. I just wanted you to know from me before Kurt told you." Rachel stared at him shocked. She did not see this coming.

"Why California?" She finally breathed out.

"I have a buddy from the army living there. He said he could use a roommate and I told him no at first but now I just see that maybe it's best for all of us if I do go."

"So you're just going to leave? This dinner was a way to be able to break it to me?" Finn looked down at his plate. "You promised you would come to my opening night."

"Rachel, please don't make this harder than it is." Finn shook his head sadly.

"Wow Finn... Just wow." She rolled her eyes as she grabbed her unfinished plate and threw it into the sink. "Thanks for always thinking about me!" She called as she stormed to her room and slammed her door and locked it behind her.

...

Rachel tossed back and forth in her bed unable to make her mind shut up long enough for her to fall asleep. Thoughts of Finn popped in her mind. A few tears unwillingly fled from her eye. She's been trying to fight these feelings for so long and they're all the sudden attacking her now.

She's been locked up in her room ever since throwing her food in the sink and breaking the plate, splattering food everywhere. She slowly exited her room and headed toward the kitchen prepared to pour herself a glass of water. Water always made her feel better.

As she sipped on her water she noticed movement outside the window in the living room. The window led out to a fire escape. She moved closer and tried to make out who the figure belonged to. As she got closer she recognized the broad shoulders and the pale skin that belonged to the boy that has been entrapped in her thoughts.

She put down her water and walked to the window, opened it slowly and climbed out beside him. He was leaning against the building. His eyes widened at the sight of her.

"Hey." She whispered while leaning against the ladder on the side of him.

"Hi." He whispered back before wiping his eyes. She could tell that he had been crying.

"Whatcha doing out here?"

"Just watching the city." She looked out and observed the city as well. "It's beautiful."

"Yeah it really is." She mumbled. "When we first moved in this apartment I came out here every night. It was my personal heaven." Finn looked over and stared kindly into her eyes. "What?" She breathed out as he continued to stare.

"Nothing." He shook his head and closed his eyes.

"So when do you plan on leaving?" She asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Tomorrow afternoon. I figured that would give me enough time to pack the little I have." He looked out at the city and sighed.

"Why do you feel like you need to leave?" Finn laughed. "What?"

"You're really asking me that? You hate me! My brother has stopped talking to me. I literally have nothing left for me here. I need to move on. I feel like I'm a bother here. I asked a favor from Kurt and this is what it turned to." She saw a few more tears fall down his face. She hesitantly reached up and wiped them away with the pads of her thumbs. Finn gasped as she kept her hands on his face and stroked his cheeks.

"I most definitely do not hate you, Finn Hudson." She smiled sadly. "You drive me insane and constantly hurt me but I could never hate you. No one could. You have a pure heart and that's impossible to hate." He looked down but Rachel patted him on the face until he looked back at her. "What I want is for you to be happy. What makes you happy?"

"You." He whispered as he stared right into her eyes. She took a sudden breath but recovered after a moment of thinking.

"Well you can have me" he smiled brightly but it started to fade as she continued "but only if you learn to treat me better. I do not want any reappearances of the old Finn like I saw last night."

"I'm so sorry." He placed a hand lightly on her waist and another covering one of hers that still remained on his face. "I cannot apologize enough about that. It has to be the most horrible thing that I have ever said. I didn't mean a word of it either." Another tear fell from his eye. She wiped it away again.

"To an extent I know you didn't want to hurt me but it still hurts you know?" Finn nodded slightly and reached over and brushed a piece of her hair that had fallen in her face to behind her ear. "Even if you hurt me I do not want you out of my life. I don't want you ever leaving me again. I've grown attached to you."

"Really?" He smiles as she nods her head blushing slightly. "Hate to break it to you but I've been attached to you from the moment I threw up on you. I just had to mess up a little more so I could grow up and one day become the man you deserve."

Rachel's heart swelled with every word he said. She couldn't hold it in. She leaned away from the ladder and kissed his lips. It started off slow but soon turned into straight passion. He pulled at her waist so she would be pressed up against him. His arms wrapped tightly around her waist as tongues fought for dominance. They only separated when air became a must.

"How about we go inside? It's cold out here. We can cuddle up in my bed and watch a movie." She whispered while caressing his face.

" That sounds perfect."

...

They were laid up in Rachel's bed cuddled underneath her big down comforter watching some random movie Finn picked because she said he could.

"Rachel?" Finn asked slowly. She turned in his arms so she could see him. He gulped. "Could you maybe tell me about the miscarriage?" She liked down sadly so he added "You don't have to if you want to I just would like to eventually know, you know?"

"I know." She sighed and muted the tv. "Well about a month after I got back from spring break and I was done dealing with all of my dads' last wishes and wills I noticed that my period was late. I didn't want to tell Kurt so I went out and bought a pregnancy test and I took it. It came out positive. I kind of felt like my whole life was crumbling. I didn't have my dads to lean on and I didn't have the baby's father either."

"I'm so sorry." Finn looked down. Rachel caressed his cheek bringing up his face to look at her.

"I know and I forgive you now." He gave her a half smile encouraging her to finish the story. "Well Kurt found the pregnancy test three day later. He was shocked and upset I didn't tell him when I lost my virginity. I cried a lot when I told him about everything except the fact that it was you. He was really disappointed. He stopped talking to me for a couple days and that's when I got really depressed. I never told anyone this before but I was thinking about committing suicide."

"Rachel-"

"I know. I know! It just got really bad but the baby kept me together. I don't believe in abortion so killing myself would have just resulted in the same. Anyway Kurt came around and he went with me to the doctor and I got my first ultrasound confirming I was pregnant. I was happy a while but the depression hit again and I was sad all the time and school was stressing me out. I didn't know how I was going to finish my last year." Rachel took a deep breath. "On July third I was having really bad stomach pains and I started bleeding so Kurt rushed me to the hospital." She wiped away the tears that were running down her face. "They confirmed I had a miscarriage." She broke down. Finn held her close to him and let her cry as he had tears running down his face as well. A lot of time passed before Rachel calmed down. Finn held her the whole time.

"Finn?" Rachel whispered. He hummed in response so she continued. "Do you remember that night I woke you up from that nightmare?" He was silent. "What was your nightmare about?" Finn sighed.

"They're not so much nightmares as they are flashbacks." Rachel pulled away a little so she could see his face. She wiped a few tears off his face. "I had some pretty bad stuff go on when I was overseas and sometimes they replay in my sleep. Not often though."

"Well you were mumbling my name too and I wasn't overseas with you. What was that about?" Finn looked down.

"You know how I have a lot of issues like with my family?" Rachel nods even though she doesn't really know all the details besides that he doesn't speak to them. "Well, I have this dream where you're leaving. Leaving me because I'm like this drug addict and I can't keep a job and I'm just a loser. You tell me that I'm just like my father and that I'll never be anything."

"Your dad was a drug addict?" Rachel asked shocked. Kurt never told her any of this.

"He was in the army and when he came back from overseas he was screwed up from something he saw or something and he turned to drugs. He hit mom and stuff and I was about one when she took me and went to stay with her mom a few days. She came home and found him on the floor dead." Rachel gasped. "He over dosed."

"I'm so sorry, Finn." She pulled him to her and held him close.

He rubbed her back. "I didn't know anything about this until I told my mom I wanted to go into the army. I was so mad because she lied to me my whole life saying that my dad died a hero serving our country when really he was just a selfish loser who didn't think about anyone but himself. I stopped talking to her after that. I couldn't even hear her voice without getting upset and hurt."

"She was probably just trying to protect you. I've met your mother a few times. She's the sweetest person I know."

"I know. I know she probably had my best interest at heart but it still hurts you know?"

"I fully understand Finn." She pulled back and looked into his eyes. "However, coming from someone that lost both their parents unexpectedly I think you should try to mend your relationship with her while you can." Finn sighed and looked away. "I'm not saying you have to. I'm just saying that you should at least think about it."

"I know, babe." He leaned down and pecked her lips. "It's just gonna be really hard." He leaned his forehead against hers and noticed her giggle. "What?"

"Nothing." She giggled again.

"Just say it, Rach." He chuckled a little at her giggle.

"It was a 'that's what she said' moment." Finn couldn't help but bust out laughing and she joined in too.

"You think you're so funny." He reached over and started tickling her which caused uncontrollable laughter and movement from her. He rolled and pinned her between his legs so he could have a better hold.

"I..." She gasped and then continued to laugh. "I can't... I can't breathe... Fiiinnnnn!" He stopped then and leaned down to rest his forehead against hers as she caught her breath. "I hate you." She finally breathed out. Finn chuckled.

"No you don't." Rachel scoffed but smiled shortly after. "See?"

"Whatever." She mumbled and leaned up to kiss him.

"Grossssss!" They heard from the hallway. They left her door open and Kurt was peaking in on them.

"Shut up, Kurt!" Finn called as he rolled over from his position above her to where he was now besides her on his side.

"So I'm guessing you're not going to Cali?" Kurt smiled while leaning on the doorframe.

"No, I figured I have too many great things here for me." He smiled over at Rachel and she giggled and snuggled up to his side.

"Okay ew gross." Kurt turned and walked down the hall to his room. "Remember Rachel, tomorrow is your opening night! Get some sleep!" He called out before they heard his door close behind him.

"I should probably go so you can get to sleep. Tomorrow's your big day." He tried to get out of bed but Rachel grabbed his arm.

"Will you just sleep in here with me tonight? I'll sleep way better if you're here holding me." Finn smiled and crawled off the bed and shut the door while she turned off the tv. He crawled back in the bed and pulled her against him.

"I'll be here as long as you'll let me."

"You'll be here a while then."

Author's Note: Surprise! I decided not to rewrite this story. I know a lot of people were upset. So, here you go! I really like this chapter and I hope you do to. If anyone would like to follow me on tumblr, and pester me for updates on there, my URL is abby-patrice. I would also like to ask everyone to keep our dear Cory in their thoughts and prayers as he goes through this hard time and be thankful that he is reaching out for help.