We were at the farthest end of the school grounds, flanked by a thicket of birch and ash trees. It was pretty dark there, the last of the lights a good distance away. It was a clear night, and clouds drifted lazily over stars and a crescent moon. It was silent, apart from the occasional vehicle passing in the distance, and the constant trill of crickets from inside the dark expanse of trees.
There were a couple of cracked concrete blocks littering the grass, leftovers from the construction of the new school wing. We sat on top of them, bare toes skimming the wet grass. I looked at the stars, entirely comfortable in the silence.
"I have a telescope at home. It's pretty decent. You can see the moon, Venus, Saturn and even Jupiter and its moons." Edward said quietly from beside me. "If you're interested in that sort of thing, that is." He added quickly.
"I'd love to check it out sometime."
"All right." He grinned.
We sat in silence for a few minutes.
"I used to do this kind of thing with my dad. He was quite the amateur astronomer." I said, growing wistful.
"Oh? But not anymore?"
"No. Um, he passed away a few years ago."
I sat there, picking at the grass at my feet, but I could feel his eyes on me.
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay. It was really hard for my mom and me, but then we kind of learned to deal with it, I guess."
"What happened?"
I looked at him, and he was leaning in towards me, his face serious and his voice quieter than usual.
"Well, um, we used to live in Phoenix before we moved here. My dad was an officer. Somebody reported a car hijack, and my dad attended to it. But it kind of got out of hand. They were carrying weapons and my dad…he got shot. When he was recovering in the hospital, he kind of had a problem with the painkillers."
It still hurt to remember it. "One day my mom found him in the kitchen, on the floor. He'd had an overdose. It was too late by the time they got him to the hospital."
"I'm sorry." He repeated, and I felt his hand on mine. The small gesture was comforting, and I was grateful for it.
"So, was your dad into sky gazing too?" I asked, trying to walk away from the subject.
"Oh." He said, drawing his hand away. I stared at him, sensing I'd asked him the wrong question.
"My dad…", he began, laughing a bitter laugh. "My dad…he was…he was just a sick bastard."
I sat there, looking at him, wondering what the man had done to earn such wrath from this quiet, sweet boy.
"Alice was ten years old then. One day, my mom picked me up from abacus class when she was on her way home from work. They had given one of their tests that day and I had a perfect score. So I was really excited to show it to my dad. When we got home, I ran straight upstairs and I found my dad….without his clothes on." He squeezed his eyes shut, and my heart beat erratically, dreading what was coming. I already knew it. Tears were already rolling down my cheeks.
"Alice was there, and she didn't have clothes on either. I had no idea what was happening then. But then mom followed me up, and she just stayed right where she was. Then she ran straight inside, and yanked Alice away…she picked up the lamp and started beating my dad with it. She was crying so hard."
"She made him leave the house. She stayed on the couch all day, holding Alice and crying. I knew dad had done something wrong, but it was only when I got older that I really understood… how horrible, how fucking sick…." His face was hidden in his hands, and he was shaking slightly.
I got up on my knees, leaning closer and throwing my arms around him. He sat like that for some time, but slowly, he loosened up, and hugged me back. I drew him closer, wishing I could take away all of his sadness. I felt wetness on my shoulder and I knew he was crying too. I drew back, and I wiped his tears, kissing his wet eyelashes.
"Bella…" He said, touching my face and looking at me with sad, moist eyes. I decided to let my insecurities take the back seat, at least for now, and I kissed him. He kissed me back this time, hesitant at first, but growing sure every second. My grip on him tightened, my hands ravaging his hair. His hands were moving down my neck and my shoulders, leaving goose bumps. I let out a gasp when he started moving his lips down my chin, my throat and my shoulders, and my body grew very warm. I pulled his face back up, wanting his lips on mine.
And somewhere in the middle of it all, I realized that I loved the boy in my arms. Loved every inch of him, his quiet voice, his green eyes and mostly, his heart. We held each other, letting the sadness and the transcendent stillness of the night bind us, over and over.
