Authors Note: Hey all! Sorry it took so long for an update, I had a slight case of writers block and I'm still at my sisters... This entire chapter was typed on my ipad so please excuse any spelling / grammar mistakes! They are 100% my own. (Also please excuse any grammar errors in this authors note, It's 4AM but I really wanted to publish this now.)
Before I start I would just like to thank CharleyCarey for pointing out some flaws and giving me a lot of ideas on how to fix those flaws! ~
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own NCIS: Los Angeles or any of its characters. All credit goes to their rightful owners.
Chapter 6:
Kensi's P.O.V
I ran my fingers gently through Deeks' golden locks as he slept, it had been about an hour since the incident and in that time I haven't been able to convince myself to leave his side.
The entire event kept replaying over and over in my head; I just couldn't't seem to stop thinking about everything that had happened in that short period of time… No matter how hard I tried concentrating on something else, my thoughts always ended up drifting back to that broken look he had given me. I silently blamed myself for not trying harder to persuade him to stay in the car.
Hot tears started to burn the back of my eyes, I blinked them away because I was determined to stay strong; not just for my part – but for his. I cleared my throat before laying my hand on top of his, his skin felt hot compared to mine.
"When we have all of this sorted out, I'm probably never going to let you out of my sight again." I whispered, exhaling slowly, "We'll get through this Deeks – I promise." I gave his hand a gentle squeeze, careful enough not to wake him. I knew I was most likely talking to myself but I just wanted to feel like I was helping him somehow.
I leaned my head gently onto the top of our joined hands and let the room fill with the deafening silence it once owned. Closing my eyes I tried focusing on the good things, maybe things weren't looking to bright now but I was not going to give up on a brighter future. I was not going to give up on my family.
My eyes snapped open when Hetty's whisper suddenly interrupted from the doorway, "Ms Blye, I don't mean to impose but may I have a minute?" She asked, giving me a caring look.
I turned to meet her gaze, nodded slowly and watched as she motioned to her office. I resolved back to Deeks and dropped a soft kiss on his cheek before standing up to follow her. A small smile tugged at my lips as Deeks unconsciously mumbled something no human would ever be able to make out.
When I reached the doorway I turned back to him briefly. I was reluctant to leave; the irrational fear of him vanishing again, kept hijacking my thoughts – even though I didn't want to leave; I still had a job to do. I cleared my throat and slowly walked after Hetty.
Callen, Sam and Buys sat by their desks and scanned through some files; all three of them looked up as I passed.
"Keep an eye on him for me?" I asked with an emotionless smile.
"Already on it, Kens." Callen replied while Sam and Buys nodded. They continued to watch me as if I was going to break. I spun around and murmured a quick 'thanks' before entering Hetty's office.
After shutting the door I strode to the seats opposite to hers and quickly sank into one. She didn't waste much time before beginning.
"Ms Blye, I called you in here to inform you of a few things." Hetty stated while motioning to some tea, "This is Ashwaganda tea; it has been used in India as medicine for thousands of years. They say it treats severe stress and helps clear the mind. Would you like some?"
I smiled slightly and nodded, "Might as well give it a try."
She handed me a cup filled with tea and I met her gaze.
"I'm assuming this has something to do with Deeks?" I asked already knowing the answer.
She nodded slowly while taking a sip of her own tea.
I sat upright, "Alright, I'm listening."
"Everyone on this team has no doubt that Mr. Deeks has gone through quite an ordeal, we might not have all of the details but we do know that he was held against his will for four years." Hetty stated putting down her cup. "In most cases people who are gone that long never return, yet here he is."
I knitted my brows together and listened attentively, not quite sure what she was getting at.
She saw my confused expression and sighed, "What I'm trying to say is – and I don't mean to be blunt Ms Blye, but it is impossible for someone that has been that long to be emotionally and physically ready to return back to his normal, past routines."
I nodded my head in agreement finally understanding, "I know Hetty; I'm just not sure what to do."
"I understand Ms Blye, I too feel a bit lost." She paused, "I've tried reducing the amount of stress he has to deal with." She took another sip of her tea and I decided to do the same.
"When you and Mr. Deeks were home yesterday I called in both Callen and Sam and we had all agreed to give your partner the needed space, we know that he has a lot on his plate right now and hovering over him is not going to be in his best interest."
I bit the inside of my cheek, "So that explains why they've been acting so impersonal about Deeks returning."
Hetty nodded, "Yes, I think it's best they continue to act like this till everything is resolved."
"I agree. It's the right thing to do, Deeks would lose it if everyone starts babying him." I responded and settled my cup back onto the table.
Hetty nodded once more, "Second of all, I wanted to inform you that Mr. Getz is on his way here to speak with Mr. Deeks. It was my intention to bring him in from the start, but your partner ran out of that room before I had the proper chance to stop him."
"I had a feeling you would call in Nate." I replied and leaned back in the chair. "Do you think he'll be able to help?"
Hetty kept her eyes fixed on mine, "All we can do is hope Ms Blye, but we've all known Mr. Getz for a long time and never once had he failed us." She added with a small smile.
I kept silent, letting her words sink in. Yes, Nate has never let us down but every man, even Deeks has a breaking point.
After getting no response Hetty continued, "I have also decided that Mr. Deeks will not be going anywhere aside from here and your house. Mr. Callen told me what happened at that warehouse and we can't risk exposing him to anymore of that."
"Again - I agree completely, Hetty, but I don't think he's going to listen." I paused, "I think he already knows that he isn't ready to be back, but he wants to close this chapter of his life as fast as he can."
"Rushing it is not going to help."
"I know; we just need to explain that to him."
"He'll have his hands full for the next few hours, maybe even days." Hetty announced clutching her fingers together. "Word had somehow gotten out to the LAPD that Mr. Deeks has returned and they want to interview him as soon as possible."
I chuckled humorlessly, "The last thing Deeks is going to want to do is speak to them, he won't even speak to us."
Hetty nodded slowly, "I'm going to try holding them off for as long as I can but they are persistent; he's going to have to speak to them within the next few days." She explained with a sigh.
"He won't."
"Unfortunately, he has too." Hetty continued with pursed lips. "I think that covers everything from my side, you may return to your partner." She paused and exhaled slowly, "Try not to mention the LAPD, let him see Mr. Getz first." She added and I stood up.
"Alright, thank you Hetty."
"No need to thank me Ms Blye." She called as I left. Leaving my tea forgotten.
I walked back into the bullpen and my eyes immediately landed on Deeks, he was no longer asleep on the couch but he was leaning against the wall near Callen.
"Hey." I called under my breath as I approached him. He didn't really look like he just slept, he had dark bags under his eyes and his they didn't really have their normal spark in them.
He gave me a smile but it didn't quite reach his eyes, "Hey, yourself."
The rest of the team silently excused themselves from the room and it didn't go unnoticed by the either of us. "Uh- are you- are you okay?" I asked meeting his gaze.
He exhaled slowly, like he knew that I would ask this. "I'm fine." He stated taking my hands in his, "Everyone already asked me this. I'm fine." He repeated but I saw right through the lie.
"Deeks, you don't have to pretend to be okay around me." I whispered and stepped closer to him.
"I know – I'm not."
"Deeeeks."
He threw his head back and studied the roof, "Kens, what do you want me to say? That I'm hurting? That I totally had some sort of breakdown back there? That I'm furious that he's still out there?" He asked quickly before turning back to me.
I grabbed at the opportunity to pull him into a hug. "I want you to be honest with me; you can't keep holding everything in… You aren't alone." I replied softly and felt his arms tighten around me.
"I know, Kens."
"Uum- Am I interrupting something?" A third voice suddenly asked from the door way, we broke the hug and turned to the third party of the room.
"Nate!" I smiled and ran to give him a hug.
"Kensi, it's great to see you." He kindly replied before turning to Deeks, "And you." He walked over to Deeks who was staring at him amused. "Welcome back." Nate smiled and shook Deeks' hand.
I stood back and studied the two.
"I should have known I'd see you sooner or later." Deeks finally stated shaking his head.
Nate nodded, "I got a call from Hetty earlier today, she told me about you being back and that we need to have another one of our discussions."
"I guess it's better to get it over with then." Deeks replied and motioned to one of the other unoccupied rooms.
Nate studied him and turned to me, "Tell everyone I'll see them when I'm finished." He said before following Deeks.
I nodded my head slowly and watched them go. I really didn't expect Deeks to accept help so easily.
So there's that! This isn't one of my favorite chapters, I really struggled to get things to flow... I hope it's okay though.
Next chapter will be on as soon as possible!
Please review / fave / follow ~ They mean the world to me! :D
xxx
-Tc
