Manifested into the Fade

Chapter 07: Not all Doom and Gloom…

Ichigo glanced over the table at the older sister and younger brother, both were regarding him differently. Marian had a frown on her face and seemed to be looking at him with an intensity that he couldn't fathom, likely she didn't believe for a second, he was this so-called legend everyone made him out to be. He couldn't help but agree.

Carver on the other hand was basically acting like a damn kid with the way he was trying to get him to notice him, acting like he had finally met his hero. The only reason he wasn't all over him right now was because Leandra had stopped the crazy bastard from doing anything really weird. But he didn't know how long that would last, the way he looked eager to start a conversation but seemed unable to utter a syllable made it both a pleasant and torturous experience for the Fullbringer.

It had been fifteen minutes since Leandra and Bethany had ambled over to the back room where the small kitchen was. He could smell the chicken and other assortment of foods being prepared, while the smell was good and made his mouth water, he was worried about being left in a room with these two. First impressions from the both of them had been far from the most pleasant of experiences.

"You are him? The so-called hero of Ostagar, the guy that saved every man and woman left to die there." Marian said, looking at Ichigo and seemingly caught between wonder and skepticism. "The man, that brought down a bridge with a wave of light that halted the horde. And it has been said, you have killed over a thousand Darkspawn."

"Yeah… No." Ichigo replied blandly, looking at Marian and Carver who were sitting on the opposite side of the table.

With Marian's sarcasm and quick wit to Carver's hero complex and desire to know the legend that was Ichigo Kurosaki, this was an awkward and very frustrating time for him.

He should have expected this, that maybe there was someone nearby that would know who he is and what he had done, but as usual it popped out of nowhere and bit him on the ass. How the hell would he know that Marian had a brother that was also in the army and seemed to be more aware of whom he was? He had only met them once and never really knew anything about the Hawkes aside from there was one annoying sister and one shy one.

Despite their initial meeting he was still suspicious, this might just be some ploy by them or someone else, although he somehow doubted it, his gut told him it wasn't anything of the sort. Marian, he got a good bead on while they talked in the tavern, and even further when she was in the room with him with her mother, she was witty and a bit of a loud mouth. But she went really quiet when her mother was around just to avoid being scolded by her, meaning her manners were far from forced.

Beth was a near open book to him with her mannerisms and Carver was the same, the former was socially awkward around people and the latter had a desire to become something great. Likely both grew up reading stories of the world and where one didn't much want anything more than to know the stories, the other wanted to live them. Surprising what you can pick up within a few minutes of speaking with someone and listening to them.

"I killed a few of those guys and just told everyone to run, that was all I did, so don't worship the freaking ground I walk on and please, for the love of Kami, do not make me out to be more than I am." Ichigo said, he was tired of all this and just wanted some normalcy.

"But how can you…" Carver started, before Marian placed a hand over his chest, he was halted and came to a sudden stop as he glanced at his sister.

"Hey, I invited you here, so you could relax and not get bogged down with all the troubles, least I could do is keep my brother off of you." Marian said, and Ichigo was at least glad she knew when to be serious. "Although if you want me on you, fine but you better think twice about my sister, you ain't touching her no matter how big a stick you swing around."

Ichigo gritted his teeth as he felt compelled to leap over the table and throttle her right there, and if her smirk was anything to go by she was expecting him to. He knew that as soon as he did anything she would likely turn it around on him, not physically of course, but say something about him being a little eager to get on her or something.

'Fuck sake, this woman.' Ichigo thought, deciding to simply turn away from her in irritation.

"But if you feel like talking, don't let us stop you, feel free to jump in any time? Not every day you see a warrior sail through the air and can bring down bridges by swinging his sword and flinging magic waves about." Marian said, deciding to satisfy both parties and keep the peace.

Ichigo looked at her, before glancing at her eager brother that seemed like he could be Bethany's damn twin in the enthusiastic department, before giving a sigh. He was starting to feel that maybe his paranoia about the Hawke family was just that, paranoia, they were offering him a meal and to get away from everyone that was up his ass. Nodding his head, he would at least offer something to the conversation, he could tell them a bit about himself and just hoped he wouldn't be forced to do all the talking during this evening.

"Great, and what do you know, here comes dinner." Marian said, watching as a small cart was wheeled out with the small banquet for them to dine on.

It looked great, a lot better than the gruel he had been dining on during the two-week journey here, and the smell was one to match, his mouth watered as he inhaled the sweet aroma of cooked meats and vegetables. He was never one for the more western traditions and the foods they prepared, but he wasn't complaining to see the abundance of food right now.

Ichigo listened as they offered prayer, something he had seen done several times before, an intricate poem dedicating the bounty they received from the Maker. Ichigo had heard the name before, but he never really understood what the concept of this being was, could it be that he was the Soul King or something akin to him?

When the prayer was done, Ichigo offering his own in turn, they dug in to the meals, portions were divided up and everyone was getting their fair share. Ichigo stuck to the porridge and honeyed lamb, it was delicious and fell apart in his mouth with how well cooked it was, after such horrible food for a long time he was happy to eat anything. Then conversation began to pick up, idle stuff at first before it moved onto more provocative conversation, about Ichigo.

"So Ichigo, why don't you tell us about yourself?" Marian said, giving Ichigo a look and trying to get him into the festivities, he had been completely silent the entire meal.

"What do you want to know?" Ichigo asked, fiddling with his knife and fork, he had never really used these things before and he was trying to get the hang of it.

"Well, since you are having so much trouble with the cutlery, why not start there?" Marian said, giving a laugh as she saw the odd way the Fullbringer was holding his utensils.

Ichigo gave her a glare as his face heated up, not his damn fault that he doesn't much experience with cutlery, he had done it before but not in a long time, he prefers chopsticks. Sue him. He put it down and scowled a little at the offending metal fork and knife.

"We usually prepare our food to be bite sized, often we don't even have anything that we need to carve up, and we use chopsticks to eat." Ichigo replied, seeing their befuddlement at the term he clarified quickly. "Two small sticks we hold in our hand and use them to pick up the food."

To demonstrate he glanced around and found two knitting needles and used them as substitutes, holding one between his thumb and index finger, and the second at the base of his thumb and against his ring finger. Giving them a look and then picking up his cut piece of meat easily and popping it in his mouth, giving the sticks a little click at the end before putting them down.

"That's it? Doesn't look that complicated?" Marian said.

"Maybe his people need things to be simple. If they cannot use a fork and knife maybe two sticks are all they can use." Carver said, smiling as he whispered into his sister's ear, and she snorted slightly.

"Alright you smartasses, you try it." Ichigo replied, picking up the two sticks and giving them to him and waiting for them to make the attempt.

Just as Ichigo struggled with the fork and knife, those two poor fools didn't stand a chance, they were dropping their food and struggling to make the tips actually touch. It was hilarious, something both Bethany and Leandra shared with him, and eventually they both huffed and threw aside the offending sticks. Ichigo caught one and twirled it through his fingers, giving a smug smirk towards Marian.

"What's the matter? The simple little thing we use because we're too stupid to use anything else too hard for you to master?" Ichigo asked, giving her a funny leer and turning away slightly, knowing and loving the fact he was pissing her off for a change.

"Laugh it up you snide little bastard." Marian said, before her mother gave her a light glare for her language.

Ichigo smirked at her pout at being scolded silently by her mother, always fun to get back at the people that mess with you; he never really had that chance before. Oddly satisfying now that he thought about it, he would need to do this more often.

But all the same, the evening was peaceful; he looked on as they continued their little line of conversation and he silently listened. The children bickered between one another and the mother scolded them and ordered them to play nice with each other. It was funny to watch really, but also quite homely, usually he never really got into anything like this back home. His dad was a nut case and usually his antics annoyed the rest of the family so there was little horsing around, often there was a level of seriousness and sarcasm when it came to dinner in the Kurosaki household. But this was different, the air was not tense or strained, it was light and welcoming.

He glanced at Marian, the older sister that liked to pick on her brother and sister and pull on their little insecurities. Carver was a tough kid that prided himself on his position and ability, he could tell that he wanted to be a hero and that is why he was so interested in Ichigo, as he was what Carver wanted to be. Bethany was a shy girl, kind of like Orihime, she had her quirks and habits and was a bit of a social butterfly.

Truly he couldn't suspect a single one of them of foul play, not these people with the way they acted with each other and how he was feeling at the moment. Maybe he could be a little less suspicious and cautious around them, it would be good to talk with someone again, to actually have someone that didn't have an underlying motive and there was no chance there were any schemes in the works.

"Can you tell us more about your home?" Bethany asked, leaning forward and smiling at the prospect of anything he might say on the subject.

"Bethany, careful now, leaning too close and he might get the wrong idea." Marian said, and immediately Beth pulled back a little flustered while Ichigo was torn between amusement and irritation from another one of Marian's quips.

"What do you want to know?" Ichigo asked, deciding to humor her a bit and see if he felt like he could contribute here, and immediately he was beset by questions that made him want to reconsider asking.

Ranging from what his home was like to his culture, along with fashion which was no surprise to him, they in turn compared his culture to his own and so on. The meal continued and so did his tales of his far away home and the culture that sounded so alien and strange to them.

"Sounds like a big city, has to be if there are that many people in it." Marian said, sounding a little surprised with there being millions of people that called a single city their home, would be packed for certain.

"It can be a bit crowded at time." Ichigo mused; remembering all the times he had to take the damn subway somewhere and how packed it was every time.

While he had informed them of his home they did the same, giving him details on Ferelden and the neighboring nations such as Orlais, and he was learning a lot about this place. It would take a bit of time to learn but he was getting by, even after dinner finished and everyone was full they crowded near the fire and continued to talk.

Wine was brought out, although Ichigo abstained from it, and as they drank more stories were told with Carver going into the tale of King Maric Theirin, the Savior and Hero of the Ferelden Rebellion. Ichigo was reminded of several rebellions he had learned of in history, the Fujiwara no Hirotsugu Rebellion a short civil war between two Emperors of Japan came to mind.

Ichigo even was asked about his own nation, specifically their wars and the means they employ to fight, and he decided to tell them about how his people often worked when it came to war, or well how they used to. He told them of the honorable Samurai, highly trained warriors similar to knights in retrospect, who served in houses and the emperor.

Then he went onto the Ninja, stealthy assassins trained to be skilled infiltrators and killers, using an assortment of weapons and tools to kill their enemies. The subject seemed to interest Marian and Carver particularly, likely because of their own callings in the world, and they loved every moment of it. He kept a few things on the down low and mainly stuck to things that didn't require too much explanation otherwise he would never be able to stop talking.

"You certainly have a colorful history." Marian said, leaning back in her chair as she smirked at Ichigo. "But to know so much, I barely know anything about the Ferelden Rebellion."

"Learnt it in school, history is one of the basic things we learn." Ichigo replied with a shrug.

"You were part of an Academy?" Bethany asked, looking surprised that Ichigo would be so learned.

"No, only High School, were I am from we are sent to school from the age of six." Ichigo replied. "It is mandatory that the student is given six years at Elementary School and then Three years at Junior High, after that you have the choice to do three more years as High School."

"Are you of noble birth then? To be able to join the Academy your family must be wealthy." Leandra said.

"… No, I am as common as they get, and rich? We only run a small clinic. Also, School is not restricted or anything, anyone can join, just pay the tuition and your kid is in. Doesn't matter who you are or what you do, everyone is entitled to learn and better themselves regardless of circumstance." Ichigo replied.

That was a method of teaching that took them all by surprise, teaching all the children of a nation in academies? That was something very few could achieve let alone afford, because of money and position preventing those of lower birth to actually attend, to think that all the children had the right and need to learn was a surprise.

"That… that is a surprise. To think that you could give everyone the knowledge of your culture, and all that it encompassed." Leandra said, she had never gone to the academies, but she had many tutors and instructors and had learned much from them but to think that they would teach so many.

"Doesn't make it seem so privileged or special now." Marian said.

"Yeah, but remember you still have to want to learn, otherwise you get thrown out or get shitty marks and that can make life a nightmare later on." Ichigo replied.

"Really, then what about you? Where did you stand amongst your peers?" Bethany asked

"I was usually in the top thirty of my year in my school, had to be, the damn teachers always thought I was a damn punk that liked to get into fights, so I had to get good grades, so they got off my back." Ichigo grouched, earning a short laugh from the Hawke Matron.

"You would be considered a scholar then, to be amongst the top most learned individuals within your 'school' you would be very knowledgeable. Explains why you know your history so well." Leandra said.

"We learn a bit of everything really, History, Math, Sciences, Writing, Language, and even Sports." Ichigo replied. "They give us a broad scope to teach and whatever category we excel at we can expand on that in High School and try to make a career out of it."

"Sounds like you had it all back home, all that knowledge and skill, I barely learned anything when I was forced to attend those damn Chantry Scripture assemblies." Marian said. "All we did was learn that the Maker made everything and that he was the way to salvation. That has done nothing for me."

Ichigo had been wondering about that, these people worship the Maker as he was called, but who exactly was he? Possibly the Soul King? Another name for the fabled entity that was said to hold all the world and the spiritual realms together, if that was true he would like to know. If there was any connection to the Soul King and the Maker than maybe there was a connection between this world and Home, a long shot but couldn't hurt to ask.

"Who is the Maker?" Ichigo asked.

Marian looked at him for a moment, arching an eyebrow.

"You don't know who the Maker is?" The rogue asked, looking at him incredulously. "What? Don't they teach you about the Maker in school?"

"Technically not many in Japan follow a religion that has a god." Ichigo replied, and before they could ask him what he meant he followed up. "So, who is the Maker?"

"The Maker is the creator of the World, it is said that he created humans and others who dream." Carver said. "The Maker is said to have abandoned us because of the Original Sin, and that we turned from him and worshipped the Old Gods. It is said because of this he left, not answering prayers or granting miracles, and only will return when we prove ourselves worthy."

Ichigo raised an eyebrow at that, this guy didn't sound anything like the Soul King, if this guy created the world and then move aside because of what humans did. That is not what he expected, maybe this Maker is someone else, and he sounded like someone that wanted attention more than he wanted balance. But that could still be the rhetoric of the faith itself, finding plausible reason as to why their god doesn't help them when things get bad.

After all, it was said that the Soul King was a Thing and an It, not a normal being for certain. Considering his purpose, he was the 'Thing' that maintained the balance of the world and was in turn the 'It' that kept things turning. But a creator was not exactly what he had in mind for the Soul King, he likely only kept things in balance with what was already there. But still this could be just the colorful words of religion shining through, there were dozens of those back home and there was no reason to believe this wasn't any different.

"I see, created man and turns away from him, sounds like a lousy dad if you ask me." Ichigo said.

"Hah, shouldn't say stuff like that in front of the Templars or a Mother from the Chantry, they might try to execute you." Marian said.

"Don't be so dramatic, it would be imprisonment and likely rehabilitation at worst." Carver replied, and Ichigo believed what he said.

Looks like he would need to be careful with the religious types then, and with the way he saw one of them trying to condemn him as some kind of demon he would need to make sure things didn't get too bad with him. Last thing he needed was to be hunted like a damn witch, that would be the beginning of a whole load of problems he didn't want to deal with.

"Aside from that, you said that you don't have many faiths that worship gods? How can they be a faith if there is no patron to pray to?" Leandra inquired.

Now this was a subject Ichigo was always uncomfortable with, mainly because of past experience with things like these never being in his favor. Religion in Japan was very widespread and nearly everyone practiced it in some manner or another, it was an intricate part of daily life, but it was different from religions in Europe or the Americas.

"In Japan there are two predominant faiths people follow, Buddhism and Shintoism. While both are considered religions, they are technically not traditional ones in terms of ones that follow deities and gods." Ichigo said, trying to think of a way to explain these two beliefs to an audience that likely has no concept of it.

"Then what is the point of them?" Carver asked.

"Well… Buddhism is not so much a faith but a practice, a practice and spiritual teaching that leads to Insight into the true nature of reality. That is what it is usually classified as, a practice meant to help oneself change and achieve wholeness and enlightenment. To develop the qualities of awareness, kindness, and wisdom through their lives." Ichigo replied, he remembered this when he was learning of it years ago in social studies and how Buddhism and Shinto were intricate parts of Japanese society.

"I am still not following." Marian said, resting her head in her hand, and Ichigo sighed.

"Alright, listen, the basic tenets of Buddhist teaching are straightforward and practical: nothing is fixed or permanent; actions have consequences; change is possible despite all the problems you are facing. Buddhism addresses itself to all people and teaches practical methods that help people to realize and use its teachings in order to transform their experience, to be fully responsible for their lives." Ichigo said.

"It is a philosophy!" Bethany came to realize. "It teaches one to seek perfection in their lives and to attain greater things and that no matter the pain and misery they may face that they can always fix them."

"Essentially yes." Ichigo replied. "While Buddhism is often considered a religion in terms of enlightenment Shinto is more about how to live your life and go about things every day."

"How can you have two religions? How could you follow them both?" Carver asked, the concept of following multiple religions seems so strange, and he was not the only one that thought so.

"While Buddhism follows tenants and helps people to better themselves, Shinto is all about living within the world and being respectful to the Kami." Ichigo said and noticing their expressions he clarified. "Kami means 'God' 'Spirit' 'Essence' and the like."

"I thought you said you don't worship gods, but from what you just said your 'Kami' are gods." Marian said.

Ichigo never really thought to be drawn into a spiritual and philosophical debate like this, in a way it was really testing him how to convey the teachings of his home to a foreign nation that have no concept of it. He wondered if this is what people thought of Japanese back home?

"Kami doesn't just mean 'God' technically there is no real divide in 'God', 'Spirit' or 'Essence', they are all one in the same and no different from one another." Ichigo replied. "But the translation of it is not what you would call correct, Kami may be seen as gods, but they are the spirits and essence that reside in all things. From the air, to the rocks and the plants that exist across the world, Kami is everywhere because they exist in all things and are all connected to one another in some way, and in turn connect to humanity."

"Then how is it not a religion?" Bethany asked. "Something like that should have doctrines and scriptures that dictate the way the faith is to be followed."

"Shinto never really had any formalized Holy Scriptures, nor does it have a doctrine. It's more of a way of living, or the wisdom of how-to live-in harmony with the nature, while being grateful and respectful of all the spirits of life, in this way Shinto permeates everyday life in such a way that most people are not particularly conscious of its influence."

"Hmm, reminds me of something a tutor once told me." Leandra said. "He said that the Creator is often seen as a force and not as a man, we may think him as a father and as a physical being, but he is not, he is actually a force that helps us when we seek guidance. Never really understood it at first, but with the way you explain it, I guess now I solved something I haven't thought about in years."

Ichigo smiled, it looked like she did understand it, Shinto was never about worshipping the gods and praying for something for them to give you a miracle. No, it was meant to be the opposite; you need to give respect to the world around you and treat it properly, in a way it was about living in harmony with the world.

"Still don't get it." Marian replied.

"Alright, how about a story then?" Ichigo said, knowing that maybe by giving an example he could get out of this mess.

Quickly thinking through some of the stories he knew, from the 'Lost Son' to the 'Thief', although he decided to skip the 'Irony of Samsara' that would be a little morbid for their tastes. Also, he would likely have to explain what Samsara was, not gonna do that.

"Alright, how about the 'Worm.'" Ichigo said, taking a seat and trying to recount the story. "Alright this is a wonderful little story about two monks who lived together in a monastery for many years."

Ichigo then told them the short but none the less interesting story of the two monks who had passed away within a few months of one another. One had been sent to Heaven, where he lived in peace and wonder and wanted for nothing, and the other was reborn as a worm in a dung pile. That had taken them all a little by surprise, but luckily, they didn't start asking questions.

Back to the story.

The Monk within Heaven was having a grand old time, then he wondered something, despite being in heaven he could not find his best friend. So, he searched for him, but he found him not in Heaven or reborn into the world of man, and eventually he found him again, but as a Worm in the realm of animals and insects, writhing around in a dung pile.

'Wow!' Ichigo had said, mimicking the monk's reaction to finding his friend in such a state. 'I am going to help my friend. I am going to go down there to that dung pile and take him up to the heavenly realm, so he too can enjoy the heavenly pleasures and bliss of living in these wonderful realms.'

So, he had gone down to the dung pile and called to his friend, the little worm had responded and asked him who he was. Yet when the man revealed himself to be his long-time friend the worm shouted at him and told him to leave. The man was surprised and tried to remind the worm he was his friend and described the heavens above and the splendor of it all.

Yet the worm did not care, he said he was happy in his dung pile and that he wanted him to go away. The man was surprised again, and thought his friend was being stubborn, shaking off his surprise he intended to grasp his friend and take him back to Heaven, so he could see it for himself. But when he grabbed the worm and tried to pull him free the worm fought back, holding tightly onto his dung and not willing to let go.

Ichigo looked at his audience, they seemed oddly confused and captivated by the story and trying to decipher the meaning behind it. Ichigo smirked a little and decided to test them.

"Do you get the moral of the story?" Ichigo asked, and when he received no answer he answered for them. "How many of us are attached to our pile of dung?"

"What?" Marian asked, her face was priceless with the way she couldn't fathom what the answer meant.

"It is a little hard to understand at first, but let me ask you this, do you value your possessions so much that they take up your whole world?" Ichigo asked, and he was not met with an answer. "Those who let their possessions and the random materials they acquire take up their existence than they do not grow or amount to anything, all it becomes is a bunch of crap that means nothing to anyone but you."

"Don't think so, gold is good in anyone's hands." Marian said.

Ichigo sighed at that, it was obvious that she didn't get it, but he couldn't blame her, she wasn't exactly the most intellectual of the group. Yet somehow, he felt like a teacher, felt kind of strange. He looked around and found that they were still struggling to understand the concept of such a thing, kind of puts a damper on the evening.

'Maybe…' Ichigo thought, he didn't know if he should do anything or not, should he put the effort forward again to try and change the mood. "Hey, I got another story for you."

He decided to tell them of a powerful magical animal, a Yokai of his home, said to be a powerful shapeshifter and having powers even greater than a Kitsune, a Nine-Tailed Fox. Many legends of the creature came around the so-called demon, but it was not seen as an evil or twisted creature. Instead it was a large fat bellied creature, with a straw hat and a sake bottle always in its paws, a trickster and lazy entity that liked to harass people.

He even told them of one particular incarnation of the demon, and several of the names attributed to it. He told them of Kintama and Kinbukuro, these names were often attributed to the wealth associated with a particular feature of the Tanuki, and once they learned it they were laughing.

"Are you kidding me?" Marian asked, laughing hard and clutching at her sides, unable to control herself as she struggled to remain in her seat. "That's the funniest thing I have ever heard!"

"That is so… lewd." Bethany said, hand over her mouth and looking between laughing and gasping in shock at the scandalous tale.

"Massive scrotums, seriously? What kind of demon is that?" Carver asked, wondering this Tanuki was some kind of Lust demon in disguise, but he doubted that, nothing with any sense would want to be that.

"Hey, originally they were said to be divine messengers from the gods, then demons, and well instead of making them feared they made them funny." Ichigo replied, smirking wide and showing off his pearly whites as he joined in on the festivities. "Hell, their Golden Balls are meant to symbolize wealth and prosperity."

"Makers Breath… oh that was good… Never laughed that hard in my life…" Marian said, huffing and puffing as she tried to fight down some giggles.

"You certainly have a way with stories, you should be a bard or storyteller." Leandra said, sharing in some of the mirth with her children.

"Me? Nah, still going to school and learning, don't even know what I wanted to do after I finished, maybe take over my dad's clinic and be a doctor." Ichigo mused, wondering if he should become a doctor or not, or maybe something else. "That's if I can get back."

There was a brief silence in the room, they all had some inkling to know that he was not here of his own freewill. He had been from a part of the world that none have ever heard or seen before, and yet here he was in these mysterious circumstances and with no idea of the world he was in, call it strange and suspicious but they wanted to know why he was in Thedas.

"I don't get it; how did you even get here then? If you didn't want to come to Thedas, how did you get here without knowing?" Carver asked.

"Especially in the Kocari Wilds, not a place you want to be lost in, not in this day and age." Marian said, crossing her arms and wondering what tale he would spin this time.

Ichigo in turn wondered if he should tell them about his run in with his enemy, about Ginjo and Xcution, but quickly squashed the idea. He knew that they held some interest with his abilities, but they were keeping it quiet and not openly trying to get him to talk about it. He found that strange, the myth around him was because of these strange powers and they were going out of their way to not speak about it.

Maybe he could skip this over, he knew that they would not take no for an answer or at least not accept it, so maybe divert the conversation towards something else. Like what his Fullbring is.

"I got sent here by an enemy, trapped me in his Fullbring and when I tried to escape it I woke up in some strange place and then I was in the Kocari Wilds, being hunted by those Darkspawn." Ichigo replied, scowling as he remembered the sealing with Yukio's Invaders Must Die and how he had nearly shattered the dimension in his escape.

That had been what brought him here, really it was the cause of most of the current misery he was feeling right now, although it didn't feel as bad as it used to.

"Fullbring? Is that the power you use? The magic of your land?" Bethany asked, leaning forward and looking to Ichigo like a kid ready to learn something incredible.

But he noticed the rest of the family giving Bethany a warning and worried looks, Ichigo had no idea as to why they were doing it. But he decided to humor the girl, it didn't matter if they thought he took offence or not he wasn't going to do anything drastic. What did they think? He was some damn demon or something?

"Well… to start off Fullbring is not a widespread thing, there are only a handful of people I know personally that can use it and they are technically from all over Japan." Ichigo said. "Fullbring is short for Full Manifestation Artists."

"Nice name for a group of mages." Marian said, testing the waters.

"Actually, from what I can recall about your mages, they draw energy from what they call the Fade to power their spells and abilities, Fullbringers don't need that, we get the power from our very souls." Ichigo replied, placing a hand over his heart. "But the main power of a Fullbring is the ability to pull on the souls of anything around them."

He picked up a small glass of water, his own that he requested instead of wine, and began to raise his hand and attempt to bring the water out. He was successful at first, creating a single stream of water that rose up and circled above the glass.

"Interesting." Bethany said.

Ichigo smirked as he got the hang of controlling the water and decided to go a step further and take a drink, but and as he drew it close to his lips he quickly stopped. When he picked this little trick he just did it because it was familiar, and he had seen it done before, yet when he recalled who had done it he had lost control.

The water dropped from his grasp and fell to the floor, splattering on the rug and seeping into it.

"Looks like you need some more practice." Marian said, before she noticed Ichigo's scowl and thousand-yard stare.

He was angry at something, and she was certain it wasn't himself for spilling that water on the carpet.

"You alright?" Marian asked, calm and wondering what brought about this calm rage.

"Yeah… yeah, sorry about that, just thought of something is all." Ichigo replied, dropping it there before he put the water down and instead looked towards the nearby candle.

He took a deep breath and raised his hand; subtle gestures were made and immediately the flame on the candle shot off and floated in the air and towards him. Ichigo held it just above his palm, before having the fire revolve around him, making it grow and change shape as he made it move.

"Remember how I told you about Shinto, and how everything has an essence and soul? From the rocks to the air, even the chairs you are all sitting on have a small soul within them, nothing like our souls, but a presence that can be felt and pulled on." Ichigo said, continuing to play with the fire. "Fullbringers have the ability to call and pull on these souls and manipulate them. Being able to pull on the soul within the air to walk across and glide through it, to pulling on objects and bringing them towards you, even propelling oneself forward and around quickly. That is the basics of what a Fullbringer can do."

"Are you born with this power? Where does it come from?" Bethany asked, shaking in her seat to learn of the secrets of this new power, and her family seemingly growing worried with their daughter's enthusiasm.

"To answer that I need to tell you about something else, these powers are not naturally attained from our parents, it is caused by exposure to something." Ichigo said, hesitating for a moment to actually tell them exactly what it is. "These powers originate from dangerous spirits we call Hollows."

"Hollows?" Bethany inquired.

"Hollows are soul eating creatures that were once human souls that have been corrupted from despair, losing their hearts and attempting to fill the void by devouring other human souls." Ichigo said, giving a brief explanation on the subject and hoping he wouldn't need to explain in detail what these things were.

He went on to explain how a Fullbringer would contract a Hollows essence when their mother survives an encounter while pregnant, so when the person is born they may develop a Fullbring as they grow. They were completely normal, it was just that with time they would develop an affinity and power tied to an object. That is when he moved onto the more interesting part of Fullbring, the object in which brings out that power.

"Each Fullbring is connected to a singular object, this object is of deep personal value to the Fullbringer and has a unique power attributed to it. Often because of this you can usually gain abilities that are unique to each person and can be tied to the item or the person in general."

"What kind of abilities?" Leandra inquired, deciding to take over questions from her daughter, something that interested him.

"Depends on the person, but I knew someone who wore boots that were her Fullbring, whenever they got dirty she got stronger." Ichigo said. "I mean she could create tremors on the damn ground and kicked damn hard, probably could take your head off if she was serious."

"Sounds useful I suppose." Carver said, enhanced strength would be useful.

"Yeah, only problem was she hated her Fullbring, she loved her boots so much she always wanted to clean them, she hated her Fullbring because it went against what she wanted from it." Ichigo replied, remember his spar with Jackie and how she told him of her hate for the means in which she had to use her Dirty Boots.

He wondered if she was sincere about it, that if she really did not like it, or was it just a game to them all and that Jackie he knew was just a made-up person.

"Why not then get a different Fullbring then? A different focus?" Bethany asked.

"Fullbrings, specifically when they awaken, cannot be changed or grow stronger, when they are matured they cannot grow any more powerful. But a Fullbring cannot be chosen, as I said the item itself needs to be of deep emotional importance to the person and often its powers are reflected in how you treat that object and the powers you receive often attribute to the object in how you treat it and what you desire." Ichigo replied.

"What about yours?" Marian asked.

Ichigo quickly guided the flame he held back to the candle stick, letting it rest on the cloth sting as he pulled out his former Substitute Shinigami Badge. He looked at it for a moment, remembering the pride and feeling of why he had it, it was a symbol of his status as a Shinigami. Something he felt was the greatest defining characteristic in his life, something he lost and never truly recovered from.

"… This is my Fullbring, it is a badge of office I had when I worked with another group, and I had a lot of pride in what I was before I couldn't work with them anymore." Ichigo said but hid any details and his true feelings on the subject well enough, he didn't even let his voice hitch when he talked. "Because of this my power formed into armor that sorta looked like what I use to wear when I fought beside them. It was who I was and wanted to be again, the pride I felt being what I was, this Fullbring was an attempt for me to reclaim a lost part of my life."

Ichigo looked up slightly, not realizing at first that he has said that aloud, he looked at the Hawkes and noticed they had remained silent and had different looks of empathy. He had just said that aloud and they knew exactly why he was talking about, he was lost and was trying to regain something he knew he couldn't live without. Something he thought about every day of his life and struggled to deal with, his friends he lost because of it, the power he no longer had or the means to protect anyone.

He had lost so much, in such a short time, he just couldn't adjust to a life that was even less than what it was before he became a Shinigami.

He felt a hand over his shoulder and on his forearm, looking up he found Leandra standing there and giving him a reassuring smile. Ichigo didn't know if it was his mind playing tricks on him or not, but he was reminded of someone, for a moment the image of his own mother flashed before him.

"You don't have to worry about who you were, because if he is as kind and honorable as the man before me now, then I know that you have not lost anything." Leandra said.

Ichigo knew that the words shouldn't have had any effect on him, she couldn't have known what the pain of isolation and powerlessness that he felt, but somehow, they did. Pierced right through him and struck his heart, there was no way he couldn't feel like all that crushing pain that strangled his heart began to abate.

She reminded him of her, his own mother, who could make anything better with a smile and just being present to make sure he was alright. Where did the likeness come from? He couldn't be sure if there was one, this may just be him in some delusional state trying to look for anything to take the pain away for a moment. It was working though, and he didn't dare allow it to leave him, because he just wanted all this to go away so he could live again.

"Thank you."

Ichigo strolled away from the home, and despite his own deposition and current situation, with a small smile on his face. He walked through the town of Lothering back towards the camp, it was late, and he was going to retire to his own bunk and get some rest.

But as he strolled down the road he thought about his time with the Hawkes, the few hours he spent with them were by far the most pleasant he had in a long time. Even before coming to Thedas he never felt so welcomed, so part of a group that he could call himself nearly part of the family.

After seventeen months of isolation, weeks of being manipulated by others, to be abandoned when in the direst of times he had become cold to the world and those in it. But then they took him in for a single evening to repay him for helping Bethany, and all those dark thoughts of betrayal and schemes were worn away. They gave him their food, their time and most of all, their company, something he didn't even realize how much he craved for.

They had filled a void that had formed in his heart that had come from the isolation from everyone that he knew and loved back home, they had filled it and he felt more whole than he had before. It may only be a phase or his own mind playing tricks on him, but it didn't matter to him for now, because he got to know them and knew that these feelings he felt were real.

"Thank you… all of you." Ichigo said, strolling into his tent and laying down on his cot.

The Fullbringer's smile never leaving his lips, not even as he drifted off into a blissful and dreamless sleep.


Meanwhile…

The fire crackled and churned as more wood and dry bark was place on it, the sound and sight was enough to offer some distraction for herself as she looked into the flames. But still sitting in front of a fire and doing nothing else often left one's mind to wander.

Elissa didn't want to think at the moment, so many things have happened over the last month that she desperately wanted to do nothing more than forget all the terrible things that have happened. The loss of her entire family at Highover, betrayed by a close friend of the family, her home was gone and everyone she ever really knew burned with it.

The only solace had been that her brother was alive, yet she knew he would be devastated with the loss of his wife and son, yet even that was lost to her. The chances he was still alive were slim at best, even before the battle no word had come to her regarding his scouting party, and after the disastrous battle she didn't know if he did survive his scouting mission he survived the defeat.

And like at her home she lost him to betrayal.

"We should be at Lothering by tomorrow, and then we can finally get some decent rest." Alistair said, plopping himself down next to his fellow Grey Warden.

But when he looked at her and found her gaze still on the fire he knew that she was in another one of her moods, unwilling to talk and open up about her issues. He wouldn't push her, he had no right to open that on her after all she had been through and lost, even the thought of vengeance and justice didn't seem to rouse her.

He glanced back at Morrigan, finding her giving a shrug as she sat on a nearby fallen log, they had come to an understanding regarding Elissa. They wouldn't push her and would at least try to be civil when it was for her benefit, even if Morrigan thought she should pull herself together and push on she kept her mouth shut. Almost kind of her.

'The only one of us that is actually making a dent in that damn Mabari we found.' Alistair thought, looking at the ugly dog as it sat by its new master's side.

"Elissa, when we get there we can find the King and then look for your brother, I promise you, we can fix this and make everything right." Alistair said, before he got up and decided to let her be.

The girl didn't want conversation, she just needed time to sort out what has happened to her, she was being torn apart by her losses and needed to feel at peace. Maybe when that happened she could return to her old self and find a way to keep on living. He knew that neither he nor Morrigan could bring her out of this, but maybe someone could, maybe someone could help her and give her a new lease on life.

His eyes looked to the north, finding under the dim quarter moon around ten miles out was a series of lights. That was Lothering, just a few hours away, and hopefully the thing that was going to be the end for all the pain and misery that they had suffered through.

'Who am I kidding?' Alistair thought, this was only going to be the starting point of something far worse.

Elissa should have said something, but truthfully, she was scared to really utter a word and invest in anything anymore. For so long she lived in Highever and the only people she truly could be herself around were her friends and family, all who lived within or near her home.

She remembered how she would have to get her brother and his wife Oriana to stop arguing with one another, but at times she would join her sister in law in teasing him. But there were others, her teacher and tutor Aldous who often would scold her for being such an air head. And Mother Mallol who had been like an older sister to her, teaching her all the good stories of the Chantry and the Maker and always let them speak to her by name rather than by 'Revered Mother'.

Old Nan who would get so mad every time her dog had got into the kitchen and into her larder, it was so funny to watch her fume. Then there was Ser Gilmore who taught her a bit about fighting, teaching her how to hold a sword right, and how she would give him advice how to talk with girls.

She nearly laughed when she tried to show him how when she chatted up Iona, that nearly led somewhere when she came to her chamber later that night expecting something. It had been an awkward few days for the two of them, in fact she recalled something about Iona being a lady-in-waiting. Elissa had charmed the pants off her in only a short conversation, she didn't know if she should be thrilled at her persuasive skills or terrified if she had unintentionally led other people on in the past.

But…

But that was all over now; all those people who she knew and knew her were all gone. They were dead and likely rotting in the ruins of her old home, everyone she knew and cared for was gone and those responsible would go unpunished.

Why did it have to happen? Why couldn't she have just stayed there with her family? Stay with her mother and father and been with them in the end rather than be alone with no one else who could truly understand what it felt like. Everything she was and had been was made in that castle, every memory and person she knew and held close into her heart was lost there.

'I have nothing left…'

Those words could be no truer for her.

... Or not. So much for the good times am I right? Please tell me what ya think. I hope you all have a good Winter Holiday.