Hello guys! Thanks so much for sticking with this story and reviewing. It really means a lot.
I normally don't do dedication things but I guess this chapter is for my new found friend Ranebowsandcurls who pretty much inspired me to have this chapter out by today. So thank you!
I love you all.
Where you keep the rest of your life hid...
Kurt was sitting there, pondering how insane this Windsor house was. I mean who just kidnaps someone in the middle of the night? These people were really crazy! But he liked them. Even Dwight, who didn't seem to be so fond of him yet.
He looked back to where Blaine was standing, conversing with the other lunatics of Windsor, laughing and smiling. The sight made his heart swell.
No. Stop that. He told himself. Blaine is just a friend. Friendship is good. I can't ruin this…
He was pulled out of his thoughts when a boy much smaller than him with strawberry blond curls sat beside him, holding out a diet coke with a smile.
Kurt took the drink smiling. "Oh, thank you." He went to open the can, but stopped, noticing something and looking a bit closer. "Are… are those Dolce pajamas?"
The boy's smile brightened and he started nodding eagerly. He reached out, tapping the brooch on Kurt's collar (as he had fallen asleep in his clothes and was the only one in not clad in sleepwear) still wearing the same large smile.
"You like Chanel too?"
When the boy nodded excitedly Kurt couldn't believe his luck. Finally! Someone who understood the importance of fashion!
He raised an eyebrow as the strawberry blond opened a velvet box, delicately picking up a blue pin with a single golden ray and clipping onto Kurt's lapel. He tilted his head, staring at it affectionately before giving a thumbs up.
Kurt just stared at him, speechless. "Oh… thank you. Um. So you really know your baubles, do you?"
He was given another smile as the boy started nodding again.
"Well," Kurt found it impossible not to smile back. "You never told me your name."
This caused the smile to falter. He blinked his brown eyes to the ground, looking conflicted.
"What's wrong?" Kurt asked helpfully. "It's just your name. You can tell me that."
He looked back into the taller boy's eyes, face scrunched up. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Kurt could hear his breath and read his lips, but that was all. There was absolutely no voice behind the words that were trying to be spoken.
I can't.
"You can't?" Kurt asked after he was finally able to piece together what Reed's lips were mouthing. "But why not?"
Reed just chewed on his lip, looking at a loss.
It suddenly hit him. "Oh."
Reed smiled tightly, looking almost sympathetic before he went to take a sip of his own drink. He twitched back, wincing, and Kurt could see the red line forming on his lip.
"Are you okay?"
Reed just nodded, holding up one finger as if to signal that he would be right back. He then hurried off, passing Blaine, who was just returning over to Kurt's side, as he went.
When he seemed to realize what happened, he looked back to others, demanding, "All right, who gave Reed a soda can? I told you people, just give him a juice box or something where he can't hurt himself!"
Kurt continued to sit there, stunned and mouth agape.
Blaine laughed, sitting down next to him. "What's with the fish face?"
Kurt turned to him, grinning. "I think I found my new best friend! Did you just say his name is Reed?"
Blaine nodded. "Yep, that's Reed. I saw how you dress and knew you two would probably get along. Just… try to steer him away from anything sharp, pointy, or otherwise dangerous to most infants. He's…" Blaine glanced back to the direction Reed had disappeared in. Kurt followed his gaze, turning his head just in time to see the small boy trip over a tree root. "…a little danger prone."
Kurt's lips twitched. He wanted to smile but the nerves for the question he was about to ask stopped him. "Is he…" he cleared his throat awkwardly. "Is he…"
Blaine seemed to catch on though, much to Kurt's relief. "We honestly do not know which team he bats for; my radar tells me yes, but it's still a little hazy," Blaine shook his head. "And we don't ask. We think maybe he's just fashion savvy because he's Van Kamp's son and—"
Even though Kurt's relief had been washed away when Blaine seemed to misunderstand what he was trying ask, that thought was gone the second he heard Reed's last name. Choking on his drink, he gasped, "Hilde Van Kamp? The fashion magazine editor?"
Blaine smiled at Kurt's reaction. "That's the one. He's the only other person on campus I've seen with a wardrobe that looks remotely like yours. It's almost appalling." He shook his head again, looking to the ground. When he glanced back up he noted the dazed look in Kurt's eyes. He smirked. "And now you're in love with him?"
Kurt came to, laughing and shoving Blaine's shoulder playfully. "Well, I'm glad someone at least shares my uniform sentiments." His grin fell and he looked on, a disbelieving expression on his face. "I just can't believe he's a Van Kamp... It's…" he trailed off, not sure how to explain.
"Mind boggling?" Blaine supplied, looking amused.
"Yeah…" Kurt's smile faltered once the initial shock subsided, remembering his thought before he was told who Reed was. He coughed. "But you, uh… you misunderstood my question earlier." Blaine raised an eyebrow, still smiling as he waited for Kurt to continue. "I wasn't asking if he was gay…" He looked to the ground, feeling incredibly uncomfortable about having to ask this. "I meant is he… you know… deaf?"
Blaine's laughing caused Kurt to look back up, a little startled. "It's not a bad word Kurt, you can say it."
Kurt's smile returned and he felt a little better. He'd never really been in this type of situation before. "Well I just..." he shrugged, "didn't know…"
Blaine was smiling now, looking at him in an affectionate way. It made Kurt's skin flush. "I get it. Don't worry, everyone is like that at first." He continued talking, oblivious to the nervousness he was making Kurt feel. "Everyone also thinks he's deaf. But no, his hearing is perfectly fine, it's his voice that doesn't work."
Kurt could recall the way Reed was trying to speak to him, like he was willing his voice to return. His lips' movements were normal, as were the formation of his mouth and the sound of his breath. There was just no sound to it.
He felt guilty. How awful would it be to not have a voice?
"What happened to it?"
Blaine looked at little uneasy as his eyes filled with confliction glanced to the ground. "It's a terrible story. One that I can't exactly tell you. We don't really like to tell people without Reed's consent, it is his story after all, so he should be the one to tell it. But I can tell you this." Kurt started at him intently, completely set on listening to his next words as hard as he could. Blaine sighed. "Did you know that everyone has two sets of vocal cords and that both of them have to vibrate for you to be able to make a sound? If one of them doesn't, you'll barely even have a voice. But if both of them are paralyzed, injured, or cut… then you can't make any noise. Not a word, not a scream… not even a laugh."
Kurt sat there stunned. Sometime during Blaine's explanation his mouth had fallen open, but he made no move to close it. He felt shocked. This boy couldn't even laugh? He couldn't even begin to comprehend such a thing.
He also didn't miss how Blaine emphasized the word 'cut' as though he wanted Kurt to understand without actually having to tell him. But he caught it. He also remembered the dark purple scar on the pale boy's neck that he had tried not to stare at. The scar that was jagged but in such a position it couldn't possibly have been an accident.
He touched his own neck lightly, wondering exactly how it would feel to have your throat cut deep enough to snap your vocal cords… and live. Someone had obviously done this with intent, with a purpose that wasn't killing him. Almost as if they were completely aware of what cutting his vocal folds would do…
His hand jerked back. The thought was unfathomable.
Clearing his throat, he spoke up. "But how? Why would somebody do that?" How could somebody do that?
Blaine bit onto his lip, looking to the ground uncomfortably before finally glancing back into Kurt's curious eyes. He pursed his lips, not wanting to say it. Kurt just looked him encouragingly, so Blaine finally muttered the dreaded sentence.
"To make sure he didn't tell."
Shane was starting to feel a little alarmed. It had been a couple minutes since he finally uttered the question he had been dying to ask for such a long time.
Reed was sitting there, staring at the floor, his hair covering his eyes making it impossible for Shane to see the tears that were gathered there. But he could clearly see it when Reed's bottom lip started quivering.
His panic intensified and he was soon scooting closer to lift Reed's head. "Hey! Hey, don't cry. You don't have to tell me. I don't care. I can go on without knowing, just please, please don't cry."
Shane had seen Reed look tearful a couple of times, but he'd never witnessed him shed actual tears. And now that he was, he decided, as expected, that he didn't like it very much. He would do anything to make those tears stop falling, and if that meant still being in the dark when it came to Reed's past, then so be it. He hated not knowing but he hated seeing him cry even more. All he wanted to do was wipe those tears away. His hands twitched to do just that but remained by his sides. He didn't know how Reed would react to that.
He stared into Reed's watery eyes, wishing the mist would disperse. "You don't have to tell me," he repeated, "Not if it makes you this sad."
Reed glanced down to his lap, sloppily scribbling on the board in one slated line.
But I want to.
Shane's eyebrows pulled together as confusion set in. He couldn't even allow himself to feel happy about the fact Reed wanted to tell him this. "You… want to tell me?"
Reed nodded, biting onto his trembling lip. At that point Shane didn't care what Reed said or did, all he wanted him to do was stop crying. Watching it was breaking his heart.
He realized Reed had written a new message when he was once again holding up the board for Shane to read.
I want to but I can't.
His hands started shaking then, so hard the marker slipped from his fingers and clattered onto the floor. When he started breaking down, sobbing to the point he had to gasp for breath, every hindrance Shane had about touching Reed quickly evaporated.
He wrapped his arms around the weeping boy tightly, pulling him close. He could feel the wetness of Reed's tears soaking through his shirt as he rubbed his back comfortingly, whispering 'shhh' sounds in his ear all the while.
He hated this. It was making his heart clench painfully.
Stupid! This is all my fault. If I didn't ask him that damn question he wouldn't be crying his eyes out right now.
"It's okay," he whispered, "You don't have to tell me anything. I don't mind. I do mind you crying though." He bitterly laughed a little despite the situation. "I actually can't stand it. So please stop crying okay?"
Shane's soothing words seemed to calm the crying down a bit as Reed's grip on the taller boy's shirt loosened. His sobbing started to fade into broken breaths and he was soon leaning out of Shane's hold, running the back of a hand over his wet cheeks.
Shane was endlessly relieved to see him stop crying, but he wasn't going to deny that holding Reed in his arms was amazing. He wanted to reach out and hold him once more but the fact that the tears were finally ceasing stopped him. He didn't want to do anything that was unnecessary. But when he drew in a jagged breath that was broken off by a gasp, Shane's arms itched to do exactly that. He settled for resting a hand on the other boy's knee, trying to comfort him without seeming too obtrusive.
Reed didn't mind though as his hand that had been dampened by the tears was soon circling over his heart with his watery eyes locked to the floor.
"Stop apologizing. You have nothing to be sorry for." Shane spoke softly, trying to keep Reed feeling tranquil.
His hands reached out, clutching onto the board that had been knocked off his lap when Shane held onto him and started writing in long, loopy letters that were barely legible.
It's just so stupid. I'm sick of crying over it.
Shane was starting to feel a little perturbed. Every piece of evidence that lead up to him speculating Reed had been hurt, and now the tears, and apparently there were plenty of other times he cried over it? What exactly was going on? He wanted to ask but bite his tongue. He didn't want to see Reed cry like that ever again.
"But why?" he found himself questioning, trying his best to dance lightly over the subject. "Why have you cried so much?"
Reed shrugged his shoulders once, looking away. He didn't appear to want to answer. Shane was about to speak again when Reed's hand started writing out his words slowly.
It was just bad.
Shane bit his lip, feeling confused but not knowing what to do. "What happened was bad?" he asked delicately, hoping to God this wouldn't send the smaller boy into another crying fit. "Is that what you mean?"
Reed kept his head towards the ground as he nodded, not wanting to look Shane in the eyes. His hands moved in front of his chest, every finger sprawled as they jerked, palms facing his chest.
"What does that mean?" he could hear Shane question and had no choice but to look back up when he answered, mouthing the word "scary."
Still chewing on his lip, the dancer nodded, eyes glancing to the celling as he rolled the two words that Reed had used to describe what happened to him in his mind. 'Bad' and 'scary'. Shane had no doubt that those words were accurate if all of his reactions were any indication. They actually seemed to be a bit of an understatement.
This recognition made his blood boil for whoever did this to him. But he couldn't get angry. Especially when he didn't even know everything yet.
He racked his brain for something to say, do. But he was stumped. He didn't know how to properly comfort him when he didn't even know the extent of what was wrong. He settled for a whispered, "I'm sorry."
Misty brown eyes blinked back up, looking at him for only seconds before he glanced back down to write another quick message.
Don't be. It's not like it's your fault.
Shane blanched before the words flowed from his mouth with ease. "It's not yours either." He swallowed. "I may not know every detail of what happened but I can guarantee that it's not your fault."
Reed shrugged loosely, glancing away once more. He seemed to be dismissing Shane's statement without really responding.
Shane wasn't going to settle for that. He grabbed onto either side of Reed's face, forcing him to look into his green grey eyes.
"Listen to me Reed." His tone was firm and eyes were set. This told Reed that there would be no room for argument after he finished saying this. "I don't know exactly what happened, but based on everything that's been said I can guess that you didn't do this to yourself and it was no accident. Whatever happened, you are in no way responsible for someone choosing to hurt you like this. You were seven for crying out loud! You're not at fault. And you're never gonna be."
All through his speech he could see Reed's eyes swimming, beginning to feel back up with unshed tears. By the end some had slipped passed, streaming down his cheeks, but Shane was relieved to find that the sobbing wasn't making a reappearance. It still hurt to watch Reed cry, but at least it was only tears and he wasn't gasping for breath.
Once Shane finally released his face, Reed's eyes drifted back down to the carpet. He remained silent, letting the tears continue to fall, not knowing what to say after all that.
He glanced back up when Shane starting speaking again, voice still solid. "Are you still going to blame yourself?"
Eyes flickering back down, he shook his head quickly, knowing this is what Shane wanted him to do but not entirely believing it himself.
Shane relaxed, seemingly content in Reed's answer. He pursed his lips, preparing for the next sentence that would leave his mouth. "Can you still not tell me?" He tried to ask as softly as possible, hoping this wouldn't cause the sobs to return.
Instead of making a move to answer, Reed shifted, pulling his knees up to chest and resting his chin on top. The tears were still falling and he looked so small and fragile in this new position Shane regretted asking. He knew he shouldn't have.
"Hey," he rubbed Reed's right arm, trying to give him some sort of comforting gesture. "It's okay. I already told you, you don't have to. I'm fine waiting. I'll wait as long as you want me to. Even if you never feel comfortable telling me, that would be fine." It would drive Shane to the brink of insanity wondering, but he wouldn't pressure him into telling ever again. "I'm not going to ask you to do something you don't want to. So it's up to you, okay? Don't worry about me. I'll be okay as long as you're okay."
A hint of a smile finally graced Reed's features. It was a bit watery but it was a smile all the same. It made Shane's lips twitch and he was soon speaking again.
"Just please, for the love of God, stop crying. It's killing me." Reed could tell there was truth to his words, but his voice was set in mock desperation, and couple that with his lopsided grin that bordered goofy, and he couldn't help but start giggling at it, tears stopping instantly.
Thank god!
Shane thought he might very well drown in the solace this raspy laugh brought. His smile fell just a fraction of an inch when Reed started pressing his hands to his mouth, returning to his original position of sitting cross legged.
A small smile was still present when he reached over, grabbing onto Reed's wrists and gently pulling them down. He was disappointed to hear Reed's giggles stop as a confused expression took their place.
"Why do you do that?" he asked the question he'd been considering for quite a while, sounding serious again despite his relief the crying was over.
When Reed only continued to look at him, eye brow raised and appearing to not have understood, Shane started to speak again.
"Hide your laugh," he explained simply. "Every time you laugh you cover your mouth. Why?"
Lips set in a tight line, Reed shrugged once, eyes flickering down so briefly that if Shane wasn't studying his reaction he might have missed it. He could automatically tell Reed was lying.
He sighed, glancing down before looking intently in Reed's eyes. He was being honest, and he didn't care if he was embarrassing himself, it was the truth, and Reed needed to hear it. "I know your laugh isn't exactly like everyone else's, but that doesn't mean you should hide it. It's beautiful."
Reed's brown eyes were as wide as they could be, staring at Shane in surprise. His mouth was parted only slightly and there was a shade of dark pink tinting his cheeks.
Shane smiled at the sight, shrugging lightly. "It's the truth."
When Reed only looked to the ground, embarrassed, a thought worked its way into the chaos of Shane's brain. His genuine smile was soon replaced by a devious smirk.
Reed seemed to notice the shift in the atmosphere as he was now looking back up, eyebrow quirked. He jerked his hands in front of his body once, asking Shane what the change in expression meant. His stomach was starting to feel just a little uneasy as Shane's smirk only grew.
Meanwhile Shane was pondering things over. He wanted Reed to laugh again, not just so he could hear it again (although that was part of it) but maybe to help convince him that he shouldn't stifle them with his hands. But he knew he couldn't get Reed to laugh while he was blushing like this, so extreme measures had to be reached. He could freely move his arms now, and the fresh bandages Reed had given him had helped.
So he was sure of two things. One: he was capable of moving both of his arms with no problems. Two: Earlier Reed had gasped when poked in the stomach. He had then foolishly admitted to being ticklish. He should have known better than to give Shane such valuable information.
Reed only continued to stare at him, wondering what exactly was going on in the crazy head of his. Shane finally moved, scooting closer to him with the same expression plastered across his face.
He didn't have time to worry about their close proximity, as he was attacked with no warning whatsoever.
Lithe fingers found their way to Reed's sides and stomach quickly, sending the smaller boy toppling to his right and landing on his back. He gasped for breath, eyes filling up with tears that had nothing to do with sadness. As he was unable to scream or beg Shane to stop, he settled for slamming his hands into the dancer's chest, kicking his legs wildly.
Shane just grinned, not letting Reed's squirming stop him, and continued to let his fingers dance over Reed's torso, altering from his stomach to his sides as they both appeared to be equally ticklish.
Once again those raspy laughs were scratching through the air again, and he felt better. To his ears those laughs sounded better than the hallelujah chorus.
But Reed had the opposite opinion. He inwardly flinched at how he sounded, wanting nothing more than to reach up and stop the flow of giggles by clasping his mouth closed. But it was impossible to do that when his hands were occupied.
He thrashed from side to side, trying to get out of Shane's grip. He was unable to stop the laughs that were still slipping passed. He tried to scurry backwards, but Shane increasing his fingers' speed sent him collapsing back onto the floor in a fit of even heavier giggles.
Shane's smirk soon faded into a smile as he selfishly listened, adoring how Reed's laugh sounded. It was one of the few times he actually heard Reed make some sort of noise. Every other time it was just a sigh or a breath, or lately, a sob. Every time Reed talked to him it was written or signed. Shane would never admit that it felt just a little weird being the only one who could talk. There was always complete silence with Reed; Shane was always the one who had to instigate their conversations. And even when they did communicate, Shane was the only one who could voice anything. He wouldn't dare tell Reed how strange that felt, he would never. So it was nice to hear him make some noise. And the fact that they were laughs, laughs that Shane himself was causing, was just icing on the cake.
He watched as Reed giggled, tears starting to stream down his face. His eyes were closed as his head moved from side to side along with his body. His face seemed to capture all the amounts of jubilance he was feeling. The sight made Shane's heart skip a beat.
He had only known Reed for a couple of weeks, but he didn't care. Watching (and hearing) him laugh like this, with so much elation written across his face, he didn't have a doubt in his mind.
He loved this boy. So much that it scared him, especially when he didn't know how timid little Reed would react to this. He knew his feelings weren't reciprocated, but he didn't mind. It wasn't like he was just going to announce it and scare Reed even more. No, he would keep it to himself. Like he told Reed after New Year's, he was perfectly content with just looking. And hearing at the time being as he continued to tickle him without any mercy.
He continued to revel in the sound of the voiceless laughs, savoring how they made him feel, for a couple more minutes. Reed had given up fighting, and was just squirming from side to side, giggling hysterically.
Shane finally took pity on him and released his hold, sitting back and grinning triumphantly.
Reed quickly scrambled up, smiling broadly and wiping his cheeks clean. He touched his chest before tapping his middle fingers to his thumbs, flicking them with a jerk of each finger, and ending with a point to Shane.
Shane continued to grin. "What now?" he asked, even though he had a vague idea of what that meant.
Reed just glared with the same smile causing him to look more adorable than threatening. He snatched the board up, erasing every sentence and replacing them with three simple words.
I hate you.
Shane started laughing again.
Well that's too bad because I love you.
It felt so good to finally think the words now that he was positive they were true. He would have said them too, but thankfully he still had some sort of filter between his brain and mouth, for his next words were not the ones he was thinking.
"Your hands say you hate me, but your eyes and smile say you actually enjoy laughing. Which is good, because I know I enjoy listening." He grinned, feeling absolutely no shame about what he was saying. "If you think something's funny then laugh, okay? Stop trying to hide. You already can't talk," he said reasonably. "Don't take laughter away too."
Reed's smile had faded a bit into one of understanding. He nodded once before looking back down at his board, swiping the words away and writing new ones.
I still hate you for tickling me.
Shane cracked a grin, holding up his hands defensively. "I told you I was going to get you back for beating me with that board of yours. You have no room to complain!" Reed just rolled his eyes, a smile still creeping on his lips. "Although…" Shane continued, looking up to celling in feigned thoughtfulness. "You did attack me, what was it? Three times? And I've only tickled you once…?"
He glanced back to see Reed's face frozen in horror. His right hand immediately flew up, rubbing his chest with a flat palm before arching his closed fist out from his chin, thumb poking out. He continued to repeat this action a couple more times, despite Shane not having any idea what he was saying.
Please don't. Please don't. Please don't!
He could take a guess though, and he was soon talking, trying to calm Reed down. "Relax, I'm not going to… yet. Not if you distract me by teaching me more sign language…" He trailed off, staring at Reed deliberately with a witty smile.
Reed's muscles loosened as he rolled his eyes, the corner of his mouth turning up. He uncapped the marker and began writing what appeared to be more than just a couple of words.
Shane waited patiently for him to finish, still smiling. He would never try to rush him. This was the only way Reed could talk to him after all.
Not for long, he thought smugly. He was completely intent on learning everything there was to know about sign language. Reed finally finished, holding out the board to show the back scribbly sentences.
Shane took it, stating at the long paragraph with wide eyes.
Well I guess we could start with the standard hundred if you want. There are one hundred words people usually start with that are used often. There isn't a sign in ASL for every word that exists in English, so most the time you have to use the same one to substitute what you want to say. There are more than a hundred words though, but you can learn those afterwards… Sign language is really different from English Shane. I hope you know. You have to learn how to form your sentences and a whole other set of rules. This is just like learning a completely different language, because that's what it is. If you want to learn everything and not just the words, it's not going to be easy. Does any of this make sense?
He looked back up to see Reed fidgeting, looking nervous. Shane's head was buzzing with confusion. He somewhat understood what Reed was trying to tell him, so he nodded.
"Yeah. Yeah that makes sense." He wasn't entirely telling the truth, but he wasn't lying either.
Reed relaxed, giving Shane a small smile as he took the board back, erasing every word. He wrote a new message quickly, holding it up once he was done.
I guess you can learn the words first and then try to understand the glossing and rules. Is that okay with you?
Shane was already nodding before he even finished reading the sentence. "Yeah!" he sounded excited. That he could understand. At least when he learned the words he could understand what Reed was saying to him. That was the most important thing, listening to Reed. It wasn't like Shane couldn't talk to him. What he couldn't do was hear him. He wanted that more than anything. "Words. That sounds good. Which hundred are they?"
A couple of hours and around forty words later found Shane wandering into his brother's room while Reed had went to deal with his absence from classes for the day. He limped into the room, still having to put up with these annoying crutches, and finally settled on the couch of the room, picking up Blaine's guitar before sitting down.
The new words that were swimming around in his head refused to leave, even as he strummed the guitar, looking for a break. He had learned mainly just everyday words; verbs, nouns and the like. At least he knew more, but it was starting to make his sleep deprived head hurt. He refused to sleep though. Not on this day were it would only be him and Reed for the entirety.
He strummed the strings of the instrument idly, mumbling along the lyrics of a song from one of his favorite movies. It might have been extremely cheesy and girly, but he didn't care.
He got lost in the music, thoughts of a certain strawberry haired boy swirling in his mind. He was brought back to earth when a crash sounded through the room, courtesy of that same boy, who had tripped through the door and was now laying smack in the middle of the floor.
Shane dropped the guitar ungracefully, lurching forward to help him up. "OhmygoshReed! Areyouokay?"
Reed just nodded, standing on wobbly legs. Once he was safely up, Shane clutched onto to his injured leg discreetly, not wanting Reed to know putting on the sudden weight to help him up had hurt. He fell back onto the couch, picking Blaine's guitar up and checking for any damage.
Reed inched closer, sitting next to him slowly, as if he was unsure he should. After making sure nothing on his brother's guitar was broken, Shane looked up at him and smiled freely, helping relieve some of Reed's tension.
He pointed to the instrument and then to the boy holding it. Even though this wasn't sign language, Shane understood what he was trying to ask.
"Um well I can play a little if that's what you're asking. I can't read sheet music though, I just mimic what I hear." He shrugged, letting his fingers strum the strings again.
Reed gave a half smile, jerking his hands in front of him before pointing to Shane and swaying his right hand over his left.
What were you singing?
Shane's brows furrowed as he tried to figure it out. He knew the first sign easily: "what". The next was obviously referring to him. He remembered learning the last sign earlier, it was one of the new words: "music".
What you music? That made absolutely no sense. Shane could feel the cogs in his head turning as tried to make the sentence work. He remembered Reed saying that you could substitute more than one word in English with the same sign. He also remembered what Reed said about "music". It could be used for more than one word that pertained to something musical. So based on that…
"Oh!" Shane shouted when he finally figured it out. Reed tried not to giggle. "Right. Um. Nothing really." He turned red.
Reed rolled his eyes, still trying to stifle his laughs. He didn't want Shane to think he was making fun of him. His hands formed into what resembled claws as they swayed in front of his body.
Shane knew what this meant as well. It could be used as any variation of "do", including "does", "did", and "done." Based on that he could conclude that Reed wanted him to sing in front of him. Man this sing language thing was harder than he thought it'd be.
His eyebrow rose as he looked at Reed suspiciously. "You… want me to sing? In front of you?"
Reed nodded, excited that Shane had figured out what he wanted on his own, and also because he actually did really want to hear him sing. He looked so hopeful and lively, smile bright and as wide as ever, Shane couldn't bring himself to refuse.
He laughed, shaking his head. "You should know I sound like a dying bovine." He warned, causing Reed to roll his eyes and elbow him sharply. "All right, you win! Fine… Just a little though."
He started strumming again, humming along with the tune. When he began to sing, a little uncertain and hesitate, Reed could tell his voice didn't sound like any sort of dying animal. He wasn't bad at all.
And if you were here
I could deceive you
And if you were here
you would believe…
He glanced up from the guitar in his hands to lock his gaze with Reed's. He smiled as he stared into the deep brown eyes, so mesmerized he didn't notice Reed's look of shock or the way his breath hitched.
But would you suspect
my emotion wandering, yeah?
Do not want a part of this anymore
He finally snapped out of it, small smile returning as Shane continued to sing the song he recognized from the very famous eighties movie Sixteen Candles. He leaned a little closer, wishing he could sing along.
The rain water drips
Through the cracks in the ceiling
And I'll have to spend my time on repair
And just like the rain I'll be always fallin', yeah
Only to rise and fall again
Instead he swayed to the music, mouthing the words slightly. Shane eyes drifted down to his mouth and he smiled a little wider, seeing, for the first time, Reed mouthing along to something that wasn't just one simple word.
If you were here
I could deceive you
And if you were here
You would believe
But would you suspect
My emotion wandering, yeah?
Do not want a part of this anymore
Shane tried to imagine what Reed's voice would sound like, singing with him, singing on his own… singing at all. No matter how many times he had dreamed of what he would sound like, even if he was just talking, none of those fantasies seemed to suffice, never even close enough to doing it justice. He wanted to hear the real thing. As he watched Reed mouth along with words, looking completely carefree, Shane's heart clenched.
He knew he'd never be able to hear it.
But just like the rain
I'll be always fallin', yeah
Only to rise and fall again…
His voice, the only one that was ever present when it was just the two of them, slowly faded out as the song closed, his fingers ceasing movement.
Reed just smiled at him from where he was leaning towards him, still looking jovial. Shane returned the smile easily, cheeks feeling a little warm. Every sad thought he had about never being able to hear Reed's voice disappeared whenever he smiled at him like that.
The smaller boy continued to grin as he pointed to Shane, swayed his hand like before, and set the back of his right hand in the palm of his left.
Shane pieced the words together. He knew Reed was most likely still referring to the swaying motion as "sing." He tried to remember what the last part meant.
He finally clued it together when he recalled it could either mean "good" or "well." He knew then what Reed was trying to say.
He laughed. "Ah, compliments from the master." He looked at Reed as though he could never see enough. "I'm deeply honored to be given such splendid praise! I could die right now!"
This caused the other boy to turn a faint shade of red. After shoving Shane's shoulder playfully, he stood, only making one gesture with his hands.
Shane knew exactly what it meant when Reed closed his hand, tapping the tips of every finger to his lips.
"Food!" Shane exclaimed, just then realizing how hungry he felt.
Reed kept his eyes locked to floor as he helped Shane stand, handing him his crutches afterwards. He took them with a grateful smile, hopping out the door and hoping Reed didn't trip down the stairs. He didn't think he would be able to catch him if that happened, and he didn't want to see him get hurt.
They had thankfully made it to the kitchen without incident. It had been a fairly slow process, but at least no one had got hurt on the way down. The same could not be said for the events that followed.
Shane had decided to sit on one of the stools at the counter, not only to rest his leg, but because he didn't trust himself with cooking enough to even mix ingredients. Enough kitchen disasters had told him that he just needed to stay away. He figured Reed would have more success but when the smaller boy gasped, cutting his hand for third time, Shane realized this was a vain hope.
When he saw the blood dripping down his index finger (the first two nicks had only produced swollen lines) he immediately sprang into action.
"Alright, no." He struggled to stand upright, limping over to where Reed was clutching onto his hand. "That's enough of that. Give me the knife, you're not allowed to use one of these anymore."
Looking amused, Reed rolled his eyes, handing the knife to Shane who dropped it in the sink with a metallic 'clang!'
"Up here." He patted the unoccupied part of the island counter, the area next to where he had previously been sitting. Reed just raised his eyebrow, looking at him incredulously.
Shane huffed, grabbing the boy under the arms and hauling him up as best he could, ignoring the pain in his leg and the gasp Reed made in response. Once he was successfully seated on the counter top, he continued to stare at Shane dumb founded, stunned he had just picked him up like a like kid.
"Wait here," Shane grinned at his expression of shock. "I'll get the first aid kit from the closet." He wobbled off, and Reed would have tried to stop him, but what could he do? It wasn't like he could shout out after him, telling him that he could get it himself.
He chewed on the insides of his lips, desperately wishing he could.
He quickly got over it when Shane came limping back in, grinning and looking completely at ease. Reed found it impossible not to smile back. He wouldn't dwell on the feeling of want. He knew he couldn't talk, and wanting differently wouldn't change that, so why torture himself with the thought?
Shane made it back to counter, sitting the first aid kit next to Reed's leg. He dug through it, looking for the ever important Neosporin and disinfectant spray.
Once he found the needed items, he looked back at Reed, grinning again. "Now it's my turn to bandage you." He held onto Reed's left hand, using a cloth to wipe the blood away gently. After ridding his skin of blood, he sprayed the disinfectant over the wound.
Reed's face scrunched up in discomfort as the spray stung and pricked at his skin. Shane instantly noticed and began apologizing. "Crap, I'm sorry! I forgot this stuff stings doesn't it?"
Reed just shrugged, as if he was dismissing it, telling Shane not to worry about it.
Shane quickly rushed the ointment over the cut on his finger, hoping to eliminate the pain. He stopped when he looked into the box of Band-Aid's, each one a different solid color. He looked back into Reed's eyes.
"What's your favorite color?" After realizing he hadn't yet learned any of the signs for colors, he quickly added. "Spell it."
Reed held up his right hand, laying his thumb across his palm before sticking his thumb and index finger out, pulling his first two fingers together, and ending by crouching all his fingers together.
B-L-U-E
Shane understood as soon he got to the 'U' and was proud to say Reed didn't have to go too slow for him to figure it out.
"Blue!" He dug through the box before pulling out a Band-Aid of the color, opening it to wrap it gently around the cut. "All done!"
He leaned back, admiring his handy work while Reed examined his hand, amused at the lengths Shane went to just to make sure he was properly bandaged. He touched his newly fixed hand to lips that were smiling.
Shane grinned and returned the gesture with his first three fingers sticking up, displaying a 'W'.
He turned around to survey the kitchen. "Perhaps…" he finally spoke, turning back to Reed who was still sitting on the counter, swinging his legs. "We should eat something that's already prepared, instead of cooking ourselves."
Reed nodded his agreement, jumping off the counter and landing successfully with no broken bones.
Shane tried not watch, he really did, but something still bugged him whenever Reed was eating in front of him. He could immediately tell Reed wasn't fond of taking big bites. He would only swallow a small amount of food at a time, and even then Shane didn't miss how he cringed.
The anger flowed back and all he wanted to do was find out who did this and make them pay. Their actions, whatever it was that happened that day as Shane was still as clueless as ever, had affected Reed's life so drastically, and would only continue to. Not only was he incapable of talking, but every time he had to eat it caused him pain. It wasn't fair.
He sincerely hoped that whoever did this had the rightful punishment in the form of a violent death. Maybe he was being a bit over zealous but he didn't care. Every time he saw pain flash across those brown eyes when he had to swallow his food it caused him to hate the person at fault even more.
He noticed he had been staring when Reed finished his food, turning to look at Shane with an eyebrow raised.
Shane blinked down at his own plate, realizing it was half full. He quickly shoveled the remaining food into his mouth, stuffing his cheeks and making them poof out.
Reed's skeptical expression intensified dramatically. He stared at the boy who was attempting to chew and swallow his food at the same time with wide eyes. Shane looked up at him, instantly taking note of Reed's disbelieving expression.
Reed simply stared before placing his thumb between his first two fingers, tilting his hand to the ground. He then stuck out his pinky and finished with his thumb and index finger pointing out.
P-I-G
Shane could easily understand the three letters and immediately burst out laughing, sending the food that had been in his mouth splattering all over the counter. Reed jerked back, mouth falling open and nose crinkled up in disgust. His expression only made Shane laugh harder.
His laughter seemed to be contagious as Reed joined in, giggling despite the foulness of the situation. His hands flew up to his mouth out of habit and were pressing the laughs back inside.
Shane's laughter died then, and he reached over to pull the hands down. "What did we talk about earlier?" He raised his eyebrow, watching Reed expectantly.
The smaller boy nodded to himself before circling a fist over his heart.
Shane's smile returned. "Don't apologize, just don't do that anymore, okay?"
Reed nodded quickly, a grin finding its way onto his face as he pointed to the mess Shane had made and began sticking out his tongue in detest, nose still crinkled. Shane started laughing again.
"Yeah yeah, I know. It's gross. I'll clean it up." He hopped off his chair, situating his crutches and walking around to the paper towels.
Shane was paying absolutely no mind to the conversation going on around him.
His glorious day alone with Reed had ended when everyone returned from classes not long after he had finished cleaning up the kitchen. Now they were all huddled in Blaine's room, talking about song selections for the Valentine's Fair duel. Shane really wasn't invested in this discussion so instead he chose to watch Reed sketch beautifully.
He had no idea how Reed's hand seemed to draw with such easy, the result being something Shane doubted he could even conjure up in his dreams.
As voices rose, Kurt demanded to know just what Blaine planned on doing for his audition. After he had been hinting about publicly singing it to the countertenor, Kurt was starting to feel worried.
"What? What do you mean? What are you thinking of doing?" he demanded.
Blaine simply grinned, "Well if we're going with public declarations of love through song…" He drew off, moving around Kurt and peering down at his brother who was sitting beside Reed on the couch. "Shane—you ready to go?"
Shane looked up, missing how Reed paled at these words and his hand stopped right in its tracks. Shane's eyes flickered to him quickly before he looked back up at Blaine with a smile. "Yeah. I'm good."
Reed reached a hand out, tapping on Shane's arm to get his attention. Instantly it was all his and he watched as Reed signed, tapping the back of his right hand to the palm of his right in a gesture Shane knew meant "good". He then touched his temple and pointed forward with his index finger before sprawling both hands in front of his chest.
Shane knew "good". He also knew "what" well enough by now. It was the sign in the middle that stopped him. He knew he had seen it before as he tried to remember what it meant.
It didn't take him long to stencil the sentence together.
Good for what?
Shane smiled once he figured it out as everyone savor the twins stared at Reed, confused. "I only came to see you. I've seen you. And… now I have to go home. Well… as much as the word can be used loosely—I'm basically just staying in our house here in Ohio to recover, then it's back to Walcott, remember?"
Reed stared at him blankly as he watched Shane talk. Once he realized exactly what Shane was saying, a flash of hurt flickered across his face, a look that melted into every different emotion he seemed to be feeling. Shane watched to medley carefully, trying to decipher just how Reed felt about his leaving.
Even though he settled with a fake smile, nodding up at Shane like he understood, Shane still saw how hurt and disappointed he looked. It confused him, but also made him want to reconsider.
"I… uh… but…" he struggled to find the rights words as everyone turned their cofounded expressions towards Shane. "I mean it's not like I have to leave right now right? I can go home later… Or maybe even tomorrow…" He shrugged, trying to make this seem as innocent as possible.
Blaine saw right through it though. "Excuse me?" His arms were crossed and a single brow was raised. "What are you on about?"
Shane shrugged again, staring at his feet, unwilling to meet anyone's eyes. He didn't want to see their reactions to this, especially Reed's. "I don't have to leave right now. I mean even if I do all I'll get to do is spend time with mom and dad at home." He looked up at Blaine pleadingly, sticking out his lower lip. "Why do that when I can spend time with my wonderful big brother instead?"
Blaine rolled his eyes. "Sucking up will get you nowhere." He knew the reason Shane wanted to stay had nothing to do with him. He watched as Shane's eyes drifted down to where Reed sat chewing on his lip. He winked once, making Reed blush, before looking back up at Blaine, pouty look back on his face.
Blaine shook his head. Even though he was completely aware of Shane's intentions, even he wouldn't want to spend unnecessary time with his parents. Plus, he wouldn't deny that he missed his brother, especially after he almost died.
He looked up, noticing every eye in the room was locked on him, knowing he had the final say and waiting to hear the verdict. Shane was still pouting, bottom lip rounded out and double in size. He decided to finally relieve all Shane's begging.
He sighed, throwing up his hands in defeat. "Fine!" Cheers sounded all through the room, mainly from the twins who would use any excuse to celebrate. He quickly added, "But only one night, got it?"
Shane nodded energetically, absolutely fine with this. One night was better than none right? He looked down at Reed, who was grinning up at him with such mirth it made Shane entirely grateful he changed his mind and decided to stay the night.
After all, a lot could happen in one night.
