A/N: I'm sorry that this chapter was so long in coming but I have been on vacation and haven't had the chance to write.
Lots of thanks to everyone who has reviewed previous chapters. You're awesome:D
Also thanks to my best friend, Maria, who helped me with some problems with this chapter :)

Chapter 7, Missing machina:

Gippal´s POV:

Gippal sat on a bench, his gaze unfocused and distant. A cold breeze swept by him and he shuddered.

´What am I doing here?´ he asked himself and frowned as he wondered why he hadn't asked himself that question a long time ago.

He remembered how he had woken up that morning, feeling depressed, and deciding to do something fun. Go somewhere, get a drink and maybe hook up with some pretty lady. But now he was sitting all alone on a bench on some godforsaken backstreet of Luca.

He grumbled.

´And she´s here..´ he thought sulkily and his gaze wandered to the apartment area of Luca.

But she sure wouldn't welcome him if he stopped by. All because of what happened in Djose.

---

Gippal growled and threw his pen angrily at his desk. He couldn't concentrate on signing those damn papers. He couldn't concentrate on anything these days, and it was all her fault. He put his elbows on his desk and buried his face in his hands. Immediately as he closed his eyes, pictures began to fly through his mind. Pictures of her.

Her as a 6-year-old challenging him to a fight for calling her a liar.

Her kissing him as he's giving her a scarf on her birthday.

Her refusing to let him leave Home, standing with a stubborn expression on her face.

Her hugging another guys arm as Gippal feels an unbidden sting of jealousy.

Her soft lips as he kisses her, because he won this time.

Her snickering and calling him fire-face.

Her throwing herself at his back.

Her lying in his arms, hand on her blinded eye, protesting against being carried.

Her and her innocent eyes, her brilliant smile, her mischievous smirk, full lips, stubborn chin, challenging attitude, revealing outfits, curvy figure, bouncy steps, soft giggle, cheery voice, flawless tan, loving nature, unique personality, her, her, her..

Her storming out of his office.

Her ignoring him for two whole damn weeks.

Gippal hit his head against the desk.

´Stop thinking about her!´ he commanded himself as the pain on his forehead distracted him from his train of thought. About her. About Rikku.

´How has it come to this?´ he wondered sulkily.

After their argument in his office two weeks ago, she hadn't talked to him at all. She had only given him vicious glares if he dared to go anywhere near her.

Gippal sighed.

The last look she gave him before she left his office after their fight made him feel something that he had never felt before.

He felt he had lost her.

Even the looks she had given him when he rejected her at her birthday, when he left Home and when she had walked away holding Tass´ hand, those had never given him that feeling of loss. Cause even at those moments there had been that glint in her eyes, that one emotion seeking itself in his gaze. But that glint was gone the moment she left his office, leaving him feeling empty and hollow.

And that had stirred.. something within him.

He found himself observing her and thinking about her all the time. He couldn't concentrate or eat and even in his sleep didn't she give him peace. She was there.
In his dreams.
In his nightmares.

Gippal stared out the window, regarding the thunderclouds gather.

´Do I.. love her?´

He flinched at the thought and shook his head violently.

´No, no, no, she's Cid´s girl, for Yevons sake! She's annoying and childish! She's like a little sister to me! And she steals from me!´

Gippal felt his mouth go dry and panic began to cloud his vision.

´And I don't fall in love! I'm not the one woman type of guy! I'm a free and flirty ladies man! I'm not cut out for relationships, holding hands, cuddling and commitment!´

He paled and felt as though he was about to faint as mental images of engagement rings, wedding dresses and diapers entered his mind.

´No! I have to stop this! This is not me!´ he thought and shook his head vehemently. ´I don't love her! I would just end up hurting her and breaking her heart.´

He gripped the edge of his desk tightly.

´I have to get her away from here!´ he concluded.

The solution to his problem calmed him slightly and he let go of the desk and rubbed his palms where the edge had cut in.

He got off his chair and walked slowly, hesitantly out of his office towards work bay.

´I have to figure out an excuse to send her away´ he thought as he entered work bay, eyes searching for Rikku.

He caught sight of her beside one if his engineers, Lok, working on his greatest project.
His airship: the Cemjanzehk, his pride and joy, which was going to be the fastest airship in Spira.

He looked around the work bay, eyes searching for something, anything he could use.

´There!´

He regarded a flat, square, little object lying on a desk beside Lok who was deeply engaged in a conversation with Rikku.

The chip for the core stabilizer.

He catiously wandered over beside Lok, making sure no one noticed him as he discreetly slipped the chip into his pocket.

´She would steal something sooner or later. I'm just beating her to it. She is a thief after all´ he thought to lessen the sting of guilt that swept over him as he planned on what to do.

He walked around work bay, questioning employees about their work and then returned to Lok and Rikku, stepping out in front of Lok earning a scowl from Rikku as she noticed him.

"How are things going, Lok?" he asked, ignoring Rikku´s glare attempting to burn holes in his back.

Lok smiled proudly at him and gestured towards the partly built airship.

"Great, boss. Only the main parts of the engine needs to be put in"

Gippal nodded appreciatively.

"Good to hear it. So what are you working on now?"

Lok turned around toward the desk behind him.

"Well, before Rikku came over to ask me about the airship, I was about to put in the chip for the.."

Gippal saw Lok´s back stiffen.

"Something wrong, Lok?" he inquired.

Lok turned back to face Gippal with a nervous expression on his face.

"The chip for the core stabilizer, boss.. It's missing."

Gippal stiffened and feigned a shocked expression.

´The chip? But that's one of the most important parts of the ship!"

Lok´s eyes darted around the work bay and he scratched the back of his neck.

"I know, boss. I have no idea where it is. I could swear it was here just a minute ago" he said apologetically.

Gippal closed his eyes and mentally prepared himself for what he was going to do.

´I can do this. It's for the best..´

He turned painfully slow to Rikku and reached out his hand.

"The chip, Rikku. Give it to me" he demanded, his voice stern and dangerously low.

Rikku looked at him confused.

"Huh?"

He narrowed his eye.

"The chip for the core stabilizer. Give it to me." he hissed angrily, a little louder, and Rikku took a step backwards.

An awkward silence filled the room, like a thick blanket, as the workers froze and observed the scene.

"I don't have it!" Rikku said forcefully, obviously trying to keep her voice down, her cheeks burning from embarrassment.

"Liar" Gippal exclaimed quietly, trying hard to sound convincing.

This was harder than he thought and he felt something ache in his chest, but also something urging him to go on.

"You always steal from me. Why should I think that you don't do so now? I'm not gonna let you get away with it this time."

Gippal felt his confusion and frustration, tumbling out as anger directed towards Rikku and it suddenly felt much easier to accuse her of something she hadn't done.

"Give it back, Rikku!" he snapped furiously, a hysterical tinge to his voice.

Rikku´s eyes widened and she looked as though he had slapped her. But instead of yelling back, getting angry and defend herself against his accusations, as Gippal had expected of her, she shut up and looked at the floor, her cheeks still red.

"I didn't steal it from you Gippal" she said quietly, her voice almost a whisper. "You know I haven't" she added quietly, her eyes pleadingly searching his.

They shined with unshed tears.

"I haven't stolen from you for a long time. I haven't stolen from you since I realized that what I really want can't be stolen" she said, her voice bitter.

Gippal frowned, confused.

She tilted her head to one side, looking sadly at him. Then her expression darkened and her demeanour changed drastically. She shook her head.

"It's enough. I've had enough."

She spread out her arms, looking around at the workers who were watching them curiously.

"I can't do this anymore."

She met his gaze squarely.

"Is there something you wanna tell me, Gippal?" she asked pointedly.

He raised his eyebrows as he felt an inner battle unfold.

´Is there?´ an unwelcome voice inquired in his head.

"No, there isn't! I don't love her! I can't love her. She's a thief. She takes the things that matters from me and holds me back from what I want! I have to get rid of her.´

´Is that what you really want?´

Gippal forced the voice to silence.

´It's for the best.´

The words echoed in his mind chasing the doubt away.

"No. Should there be?"

He saw disappointment wash over her face as a lone tear slid down her cheek.

"Yes."

She wiped the tear away and her gaze wavered.

"You're afraid" she whispered and her eyes widened in something akin to realization.

She met his gaze squarely and glared.

He was just about to respond to her comment, to deny the truth of it, when her voice, sharp and low, continued.

"You are a blind coward, Gippal, and I'm done wasting my time with you. Waiting for you."

She hesitated briefly.

"I quit" she said firmly and with one last longing glance at him, she spun on her heel and left Djose temple.

And there it was again.

It echoed along with the words; ´It's for the best´ as a counterbalance, an opposite.

The feeling of loss and emptiness.

And the feeling of relief, he had expected, never came but was replaced by regret.

The chip in his pocket felt like a rock weighing him down and something indefinable and foreign within him broke and shattered.

---

He wasn't really sure about what had happened that day and why, but he had a feeling that it was important that he figured it out.

Since that day questions constantly swirled around his mind denying him any rest. He was sick and tired of it and he wanted answers. Now.

´Why did I accuse Rikku of something she hadn't done when I knew she hadn't done it?´ he started and pondered the question.

"You're afraid"

He flinched.

´What was that?´

He shook his head and chose another question.

´Why cant I stop thinking about her?´

"Is there something you wanna tell me, Gippal?"

He swallowed and felt a strong aversion to answer those questions.

´Why am I in Luca?´

´She's here´

Gippal rubbed his temples, frustrated. That inner voice whispering disagreeable words in his head was driving him insane!

He clenched his teeth and his hands fisted and slid down to his sides. He held his breath.

´What is that voice?´ he wondered.

He exhaled and closed his eyes.

´Truth´ he realized. ´It's truth´

He sighed as he realized what he had to do to solve this.

He had to be honest with himself.

And with that he finally admitted the truth.

He accused Rikku of stealing something she hadn't, to get her away from him, so he didn't have to admit what she really had stolen.

His heart.

A/N:the Cemjanzehk: the Silverwing in Al Bhed.
Next chapter is probably gonna be the last. I'm going camping today so I'm not gonna update until sometime next week. Thanks for reading and please review. (:
Now it is almost 3 a.m. and my eyes are unfocused and I'm pretty tired, so I better go to bed and get some sleep..