It had been three weeks since they'd had sex. One or the other of them always had an excuse for why they 'couldn't' on the few evenings they'd ended up at a respective home late enough to stay over.
But curled up together on Kurt's sofa, watching Singing in the Rain, they both began to tense as the movie drew to a close.
Elliott knew he needed to make sure Kurt's needs were met. He wondered if he could get away with just blowing the other man. Whatever the case, he'd better get to it.
Elliott tilted Kurt's chin up and kissed him softly, and Kurt relaxed into it. Wrapping themselves together, the embrace grew more urgent, and Kurt froze when Elliott dropped to his knees beside the couch and reached for Kurt's belt.
"No, um, Ell, why don't... I mean, wouldn't you rather fuck me? I..." Kurt's voice was high and strained. That's when Elliott noticed that there was no filling erection behind the fly of the pants he was unfastening. In fact, in the tight, white jeans Kurt wore, he could very obviously see that Kurt was soft, and he'd apparently dressed right.
"Kurt, are you... Do you not want..."
"It's okay. I-I'll bottom. I prefer it, actually. I don't, um, I'm sure I'll get... Can we just..."
Elliott saw how pale Kurt looked, with only red blotches on the sides of his cheeks. He moved back up beside him and pulled him close.
"Honey, shh, we don't have to do anything tonight. It's okay. I never want to push you into doing something you don't want, okay?"
Elliott was scared. He didn't want to lose Kurt.
"But... I'm sure you want to, right? I don't mind if you, um."
Squeezing Kurt in a hug, Elliott could feel how tense Kurt was, and it frightened him. He felt strangely rejected, even with Kurt insisting it was okay, and with his own reticence to have sex again. It was awkward and uncomfortable and he needed to think; needed to figure out how he felt and what he wanted.
"Kurt..."
"...yeah?" Kurt's voice was high and strained and he was still stiff in Elliott's embrace.
Elliott kissed Kurt's cheek, emptiness opening inside himself. He couldn't believe that the best relationship he'd ever had might be ending like this.
"I... I need to get going."
Elliott left, confused and conflicted, wondering if he'd read their entire relationship wrong.
He struggled not to break down into tears in the cab, waiting until he was walking up the steps to his apartment to let them come.
