Has it been two months? Yes. Am I sorry? Yes. Will I try my best to update? Yes. Is Joaquin really dead? Absolutely fucking not!
It was a Saturday. Kevin didn't even notice that until he was parked in the school parking lot. Kevin groaned at himself and slammed his face onto the car horn. Dammit! He was probably going to end up stuck here for a couple of hours. He would usually have some kind of wrestling practice to do, but the hospital called the school and told them that he had gotten sick. Kevin sighed leaned back against the seat of his truck. He didn't want to drive back home. He wanted to stay here just a bit longer. Blow off of steam from seeing his dad. Kevin turned on the radio and connected the AUX cord to the phone. He played slow music that he usually listened to while he showered or did the dishes. Kevin allowed the music to surround him while he ran his fingers against his cut scars through his sleeve. They didn't hurt anymore. They were just there and calm and comforting. They took away the emotional pain inside of him. It was no longer there. Well, for now.
Kevin wanted to raise his sleeve to trace the uppercase K that he had carved into his arm, but someone knocked lightly on the car window. Kevin looked up quickly, hiding his arm from whoever it was. It was Moose. He had a smile on his face and his hands were filled with the white paper bags from Pop's diner. "Moose… what are you doing here?" Kevin said, lowering his music. "Do you have wrestling practice today?"
"No. I came to see you." Moose said. "I thought that you would be home, but when I got there I saw your truck driving off. Are you here for wrestling?"
"Um… no. I just um, needed to get out of the house. I can't wrestle anyways. You know. The whole falling in the ice thing."
Moose smiled softly. Kevin always found that smile so adorable. Moose shook his bag. "I have some breakfast. A lot actually. I was going to go for a run around after eating. Care to join me?"
Kevin looked down at his clock. He really wanted to spend time away from home. Maybe Moose's offer is what he's looking for. Kevin shoved his AUX cord out and shoved his phone into the glove compartment.
"Just be careful, these locks can get trapped for a bit." Kevin said as Moose stepped into the car. Kevin shut the glove box closed and scooted over to the passenger side, inviting Moose to take a seat inside. Moose took a seat right next to Kevin, like there was another option. Kevin wiped some hair way from his face and Moose took the opportunity to look at his wrists. There was a faint red welt that he saw. Was Betty right about this? Has Kevin been cutting? Moose looked away, not wanting to give away anything or make Kevin feel more scared. He pulled out a small take out container of oatmeal. He handed it to Kevin. Kevin took it and inhaled the smell of oats mixed with strawberries and bananas.
Moose handed him a spoon. Kevin slowly began to eat. Moose started to eat himself, the silence slowly killing him from the inside. Moose turned back over to Kevin looked at his facial structure. His cheekbones made him feel weak to his knees. "Kevin." he called out.
"Yes Moose?" Kevin responded, looking over at him. Moose set down his own bowl of oatmeal and looked over at him. Kevin felt a bit nervous, looking over at him. What was going to say?
"Don't be nervous. I just… I just wanted to tell you something." Moose said. "Kevin look. I a m so sorry."
"Huh?"
"After what happened at the dance, I ignored you. I had no right to at all. I'm sorry if I made you feel anything less than the amazing person that you are." Moose said, shaking his head. "You are perfect just the way you are and I'm so sorry for making you feel like I didn't care. I do. I really do care about you."
"Moose, honestly it's fine." Kevin said.
"No Kevin. It's not fine. I am so sorry."
"Stop, stop apologizing. You don't have to apologize just because I hurt myself."
"That's not it." Moose said, moving forward to grab Kevin's wrist. He did it as gently as possible, but Kevin winced from the touch. He yelped out, but instantly regretted it. "Kevin, what happened? Are you hurt?"
"No, I'm okay." Kevin said lying. "I'm just still weak and tired from this morning."
"Are you sure? Let me see your wrist." Moose said, knowing that is was now or never to get Kevin the help that he needed. Kevin pulled his wrist away and smiled at Moose.
"No, it's fine." he said.
"Kevin, let me see. Maybe it's just a bruise."
"Honestly Moose it's fine."
"Why do you sound so worried? I just want to make sure that you're okay. Kevin, just let me-"
Moose started to move his hand towards Kevin's arm. Kevin didn't want Moose to know. He'd leave again. He'd laugh at his weakness. Kevin couldn't handle that. Instead he moved forward and pressed his lips against Moose's, closing his eyes. He moved his hand intertwined his fingers with Moose's, attempting to hide the wrist. Moose's eyes widened when Kevin kissed him, but he slowly leaned into the kiss, pressing his lips against his back and rubbing Kevin's knuckles with his thumb. Kevin had imagined kissing Moose before. It was supposed to feel how Midge described it when they were studying. Like if a teddy bear had huge juicy lips. It felt exactly like to Kevin and his heart flutter as Moose kissed him back. The oatmeal in his lp long forgotten, Moose moved his other hand forward and held the side of Kevin's neck. Kevin moved his head to the side as they kissed. He really did like kissing Moose. He wanted to do this more. Not just as a distraction. He wanted to feel Moose on his lips every time he saw him. He wanted to hold his hand in public. Kevin just wanted the feeling to care from someone. He didn't want to be alone. He wanted someone to love him. To actually care him.
He freed his hand from Moose's hand and rested both of palms of Moose's broad and tight chest. Moose moved his hand to hold Kevin's shoulder. Moose knew that he should be trying to get Kevin to open up about the cutting, but kissing was better. It was comfort for Kevin. Comfort that he hadn't gotten in a long time. Moose pulled Kevin closer to him as Kevin played with the laces on Moose's football sweatshirt. Kevin's hand moved to the bottom and to the touch Moose's abs. Moose moaned and kissed him deeper, pushing Kevin's head back a bit. While moving down, Kevin's wrist was touched by Moose's shoulder. He winced in pain, his lips moving away from Moose. Moose knew that it was now or never now. He moved over and took Kevin's hand gently, pulling up the sleeve. Kevin's eyes widened.
"Moose, no!" he cried, but the sleeve was already pulled it up. Moose froze in shock, seeing the cuts. It had only been a day, but there were multiple cuts there on his wrists. Moose looked up at Kevin. Kevin looked completely shocked and scared. Moose looked over at him. He raised his arm and pressed his lips to the cuts. He kissed the K first and then kissed the other kiss. "Moose… Moose…"
Moose looked up and saw that Kevin's eyes were filled with tears. Moose moved forward and took his face in his hands. "Kevin, Kevin look at me. Look at me, okay."
Kevin shook his head and looked down. "You just care because I'll leave. You're only scared because I'm hurt and this effect you and that I'll-"
"Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, look at me." Moose said calmly. "Please. Look at me." Kevin slowly raised his head, his face wet with tears. "I'm not mad, nor am I going anywhere."
"Yes you are. You'll leave once I'm at my best. Just like everyone else." Kevin sobbed.
Moose raised Kevin's arm again and he pressed another kiss against the cut. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving. I won't leave you. I'm sorry. Okay? Look at me, I'm not leaving. I just want to help you."
Kevin looked up at him. "Help me?"
"Yes. Take you home, maybe to a doctor." Moose explained, slowly running his fingers against Kevin's knuckles. Kevin looked up him up and down. The paranoia started to beat him. Kevin shifted back. Moose was trying to get rid of him.
"You're trying to get rid of me." Kevin said, breathless.
"What? No! I-"
"You knew about the cutting before didn't you. And now you're trying to get rid of me." Kevin gasped. "You're trying to get me to leave."
"No… no Kevin, look at me." Moose tried to go over and touch him again, but Kevin moved away. Kevin pulled Moose's phone from his hoodie pocket, opened the door to the truck, jumped out and slammed it closed. He pressed the lock button his keys and Moose moved over to try and open the door. He pushed the door try and get it opened. "Kevin… Kevin. I uh… I think the lock is stuck. Help me out?"
Kevin shook his head. "No. No. You'll just chase me."
"Kevin… Kevin come on." Moose said, patting on the glass of the window with one hand and pulling on the handle with the other. " Kevin… Kevin please! Open the door! Come on, don't do this Kevin!"
Kevin put the car key into the little keyhole and pulled the top off, locking Moose inside. Moose watched him with disbelief. No. Moose banged on the window, trying to look as gentle and desperate as possible. Kevin dropped his keys and Moose's phone and kicked them underneath the truck. "Moose… I… I can't." he sobbed.
"Yes you can. You can Kevin. You're stronger than everyone I know, you can do this. Please… just let me out. Let me help you. I can help you if you let me." Moose begged, pressing both of his palm against the glass window. "Kevin please… just listen to me. There are so many people who care about you. I care about you. Your dad cares about. Cheryl cares about you. Please, let me help you. Open the door. Please… please open the door."
Kevin shook his head. "I can't. I can't stay here when no one wants me. Moose I… I'm so sorry!" he sobbed, before taking off towards the woods
"Wait, no! Kevin! KEVIN, COME BACK! WAIT!" Moose screamed banging hard on the glass. He hit the glass and pulled hard on the door handle. "KEVIN! DAMMIT!"
Moose kicked the door with all his might in anger. He punched the dashboard. He had one chance at helping him and he blew it. He looked around the car for something to help him out. He searched the car's floor and then went to the glove compartment in his anguish. Moose stopped fussing, seeing Kevin's phone inside of it. He grabbed it and looked down at the screen asking for a password. He put in the numbers of Kevin's birthday, 0517. The phone unlocked and Moose went into the phone, dialing the sheriff's station. Of course Kevin had it on speed dial. Moose put the phone on speaker and left in the dash and he started to kick and kick at the window.
The station answered in a couple of seconds. One of Sheriff Keller's deputy's answered. "What's the emergency?" she said.
"Kevin Keller." he said breathless, hitting the glass harder. "He's suicidal and he ran off. I don't know what he's going to do, but his life is on the line!"
Moose kicked the glass once more and it shattered opened, he would pay back Sheriff Keller later. He moved over to crawl out of the car. "Okay, where are you? We'll send officers around the area."
"I'm at Riverdale High." Moose said, jumping out of the car and onto the concrete of the parking lot. "I'm going after him."
"Wait, sir you-"
"I'm just going to wait until he kills himself! Call Sheriff Keller, his son's life is on the line!" Moose screamed, running off down the parking lot where Kevin was going. He ran as fast as he could. He needed to get to Kevin. He needed to find him. Moose ran as fast as he could, looking around the woods. There was no source of Kevin anywhere. Moose kept running, the parking lot turning into the deep dark and scary woods. He ran as fast as he could. Looking for the source of the sheriff's son. If he lost Kevin now... he would never forgive himself.
