Chapter Seven: Champagne and Mayhem

Looking at Daniel's full plate the waiter asked, "Sir, are you finished? Was something wrong with your meal?"

"I'm finished. No, nothing wrong. Not with the meal." He took a quick glance at the champagne being delivered to the other couple's table.

Daniel looked at Sissy, "Ready?"

"Very." His date looked unhappy, but he didn't notice.

No way out, other than walking right by Jack and Vala. When he reached the table, Daniel put his arm around Sissy, who flinched in surprise.

"Daniel!" Jack stood and greeted him with a handshake. He nodded to Sissy and sat again. "What 'cha doin'?"

Vala looked up, right into Daniel's eyes, and smiling, she took his arm and pulled him down for a sweet kiss on his cheek. Then she looked at Sissy and nodded with a knowing gleam, "Sissy."

Sissy nodded back with a genuine smile, "Vala," she said. Not only had Sissy won the 'first to date' pot, but she'd just won the 'I told you so' award for irrefutable proof that Dr. Jackson and Vala Mal Doran were an item.

"Champagne?" Jack offered.

"No thanks." Daniel stared at Jack's hand resting in the middle of Vala's back.

"Leavin'?"

"Yep."

"Beautiful night, great sky, top down, love that car."

"Yep," Daniel continued to stare at the non-back to Vala's dress.

"Okay, see ya." that hand was moving up and down.

"Jack," Daniel jerked a thumb towards the entrance. "Could I talk to you a minute?"

"Sure, ya betcha." Jack excused himself from the ladies. "Have a seat Captain, this might take a while." He winked at Vala.

When they stepped outside, Daniel caught someone moving out of the corner of his eye. He turned but the figure had disappeared around the corner. He shook his head, for a split second he thought it was Teal'c.

Jack put his hands deep in his pockets. "What?"

Daniel also put his hands deep in his pockets, "Jack, What's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean."

"I don't know what you mean."

"Jack!"

"Daniel?"

"With Vala!"

"With Vala? Taking her out to dinner, what are you doin'?"

"You know what I mean."

"No, Daniel, I don't know what you mean. I've never known what you mean. Ever."

"Jack!"

"What?"

"What are you doing with Vala, with your pawing all over her?"

"Pawing? I'm not pawing."

"Jack I thought… thought you… you liked…"

"Who?"

"You know. I thought you might be…"

"What, what are you talking about?"

"Vala's all wrong for you."

"What do you mean all wrong for me?"

"She's not right for you. You're not right for her. I don't think this is a good idea."

"Hey… I don't think that's any of your business."

"Oh yeah, it's my business."

"And why would that be Daniel."

"You know."

"No I don't know anything. I'm thoroughly confused."

"I'm talking about you and … and the other you know who."

"I don't know who you're talking about."

"I think you do."

"I think I don't."

"You do."

"I don't."

"You know who."

"Who what?"

"Jack, I don't want you dating Vala."

"And why would that be Daniel?"

"Because you're just not right for her!"

"Really, so who is she right for?"

Daniel shrugged his shoulders.

"You don't know?"

"No."

"Don't have a clue?"

"No."

"Okay, nice chat, I'm goin' back now. I have champagne to drink with a beautiful woman. You have a date with…" Jack closed his eyes a moment, shook his head and continued, "with the effervescent and … lovely Captain Reese."

Daniel glared at Jack's retreating back.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Sitting at Carter's breakfast bar eating Fruit Loops, Jack watched her tidy up and come to join him.

"So, how'd it go?" Sam's eyes were full of laughter.

"Like a Hitchcock movie. Thoroughly confusing, but suspenseful none the less."

"I want details."

Jack smiled, took an oversized spoonful of cereal, and grinned, milk dripping from the corner of his mouth and his eyebrows wiggling delightfully. "Well, I think Teal'c had the most fun, with the spacemouseketeer running a close second. Daniel had the least fun. As planned. All in all I think your mission was accomplished."

"How's Vala?"

"Giddy beyond redemption. If you had seen the look in his eye at the back of that dress you could have seen the ball and chain clamp around his dancing feet. He was a wreck. I don't think I've ever seen our archeologist more distraught. It was a joy to behold."

"You think he'll figure it out."

Jack hesitated a minute, wondering whether or not to tell Carter what else Daniel seemed to have figured out. "Without a shadow of a doubt. Be prepared. He's going to go all ascended maniac on us. Thankfully, I have a plane to catch," Jack checked his watch, "In less than an hour."

Sam sighed all dreamy. "I love romance."

He smiled, "yeah, I know."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Mitchell stood, hands on hips, catching his breath. He was puzzled. Jackson's gruff, aggressive playing was out of character. Teal'c slammed the basketball into the net and came as close as Mitchell had ever seen to glaring. Daniel snatched the ball and shouldered the Jaffa aside, but the shot bounced off the rim. Vala sat crossed leg in the corner, a Cheshire cat grin on her face.

Teal'c had spilled the whole story at breakfast this morning, when Mitchell had asked where the rest of his team was. They needed a mission and soon before the entire base was in danger of being overrun by SG-1 madness. After all this time, he still hadn't acclimated to the wacky world of SG-1 on down time.

They came up with the oddest things to occupy their time. They were much better suited to chaos off world. There they were normal thinking adults. Well trained in combat and exploration. Here? More like teenaged pranksters. Even the stoic Jaffe became more playful. It just wasn't right.

"I'm hittin' the showers." Mitchell left without another word.

Teal'c shoved Daniel aside. "I too, am finished DanielJackson." He all but stormed out leaving Daniel and Vala alone.

"What the hell where you thinking!?" Daniel turned to Vala, who stood slowly.

"When?"

"Damn it, Vala, are you nuts!?"

"Apparently." She tossed her pigtails around and started for the door.

"Don't walk out on me!"

She turned back, one brow raised, then her chin lifted and she walked out. He didn't see the wide tooth grin on her face.

Like a tempest, he went after her. He lost her somewhere in the maze of halls. Coming up on an unsuspecting SF Daniel barked out, "Where is she?"

"Sir?"

"Vala, which way did she go?"

The SF pointed towards the elevator.

Daniel took off, coming to the elevator as the door closed. He slammed his hand against the door, swiped his card and fumed.

She was almost to the car when he reached the surface. Quickening his pace Daniel got to the car just as she snapped her seatbelt in place. He jerked the door open, got in and was slammed back against the seat by her accelerated take off. He rushed to secure the seatbelt in place. "Slow down!"

"Shut up!" She fishtailed out of the parking lot and double clutched her way up the mountain.

"Slow it down Vala, before you kill us both."

She down shifted slowing the car before coming back to third gear and leveling out her speed.

They didn't say another word. He turned on the radio. She turned it off. He tried to say something but she sped up. He shut up and she slowed down. He glared, blue eyes squinting, jaw clenched. She pulled the bands from her pigtails setting her hair free to toss in the wind. He stared bemused out across the blurry passing mountainside. She let the happy smile broaden across her face.

STOP! WARNING - DRIVING MISS CRAZY - S P O I L E R S BELOW!!!

Next on Driving Miss Crazy: Chapter Eight: Let's Make Babies A drive through the mountains with Daniel and Vala.