3

Severus Snape

The next day started out wonderfully. Sunshine filtered through every curtain, tickling the noses of the sleeping inhabitants of the castle. Albus Dumbledore woke up in his bed in his tower. Next to him lay his wife, still soundly asleep after a night of lovemaking. He chuckled softly, seeing that Minerva had a huge love-bite at the side of her neck. The memories of last night were a blur.

He only remembered how it had started. Minerva had tried to persuade him to stop his folly with the Radio Station.

"Umbridge is sniffing around and looking for your hide-out. You can't continue this … this … crusade against the Ministry. Albus, please, come to your senses!" she had all but yelled.

Albus had calmly heard her out but couldn't give her the answer she wanted to hear.

"I'll keep it up. Dolores has to understand that she's NOT in control. I can't and won't let the Weasley twins take all the brunt."

Minerva had sighed in a frustrated manner but had given up. For now.

----

Down in the dungeons, Severus sneered at his reflexion in the bathroom mirror. He loved Albus' little scheme. He absolutely loved it. Embarrassing his colleagues was his second most favourite pastime. First place went to terrifying students.

Pomona and Rolanda, usually happy as clamps in butter sauce, were glowering at their students as soon as look at them. Whenever they heard snickers or laughter, both witches went berserk.

It was hilarious to watch. And today Severus had planned to pour oil over smoldering fire. He laughed evilly and left his chambers with a pronounced bounce to his step.

At breakfast in the Great Hall he sat down next to Rolanda. The grey-haired witch eyed him in surprise for a moment before a suspicious glint entered her eyes.

"What do you want from me, Snape?" she asked rather aggressively.

"Oh, nothing", said Severus as innocently as humanly possible for him.

"Mmph", muttered Rolanda and ignored him.

Severus could hardly contain an evil laugh when, to his utmost pleasure, Pomona sat down on his other side. He would have the privilege to watch both witches when his little surprises arrived. As he turned back to his eggs and bacon, he noticed Rolanda eyeing him again with hardly concealed suspicion. He only raised a quisitive eyebrow at her and smirked in his most frightening manner. Rolanda rolled her eyes heavenwards and pointedly turned around, showing him the cold shoulder and making Severus laugh.

"You know that you are an insufferable git at times, Severus?" asked Pomona, rushing to the defense of her friend.

"Yeah, I know", retorted Severus, unfazed and being more insufferable than before. He just couldn't help himself to annoy his colleagues, especially since Dumbledore gave him such wonderful ammunition.

And then came the owls. 'At last', thought Severus happily. A brown barn owl swooped down on Pomona and dropped a small parcel into her lap, surprising her to no end and making her spill her tea down her impressive bosom. Hissing in pain as the hot beverage made contact with her skin, she waved her wand and cleaned herself. She opened the package more aggressively than anything else, ripping the paper to tiny shreds. Out fell a selection of the best Belgium chocolate pralines she had ever set eyes on and a hand-written note.

It read: "Chocolate is made from cacao beans. Beans are vegetable. EAT MORE VEGETABLES!!!"

Pomona was nearly falling off her chair. Her eyes bugged out and the blood came thundering into her cheeks. Flaming red, she narrowed her eyes and searched the Great Hall for the insufferable culprit … Insufferable? There was only one who could be stupid enough to … But no, he could hardly be THAT stupid … or could he?

She rounded on Severus with murder in her eyes and saw him laughing in her face. That pissed her off more than the chocolate and with an angry scream she jumped at him. But he was faster and rescued himself behind Hagrid. The half-giant was not in cooperative mood, though, and stepped out of Pomona's way.

Meanwhile Rolanda had received a parcel of her own and opened it cautiously, keeping in mind what Pomona had received earlier and from whom she had gotten it.

Her parcel revealed a necklace, cap and hot pants. All in black leather. The necklace had metal spikes all around it and at the front a circle as if for a chain or leash. Rolanda felt like fainting for the first time ever in her exciting life. Her ears were ringing and her hands balled up into fists, ready to strike the soon-dead potions teacher.

She got up slowly and took great satisfaction in seeing Severus swallow had the not-so-familiar reaction from her. He had thought she would hex him with the first curse that came to mind and now she was behaving more like a certain Transfiguration Mistress than herself. But before Rolanda could reach Severus, a speaker appeared in front of her nose and Dumbledore's voice sounded through the Great Hall.

Please, girls, calm down. I would hate to see you kill Severus (he deserve it but think of the pain it would be to find another Potions teacher).

I already thought of an appropriate punishment for him. The next song is about him. Let's hear Amy MacDonald and her song 'Poison Prince'.

A poetic genius is something I don't see
Why would a genius be trippin' on me?
And he's looking at me now
But what he can't see
Is that I'm looking through his eyes
So many lies behind his eyes
And tell me stories from your past
And sing me songs you wrote before
I tell you this my poison prince,
You'll soon be knockin' on heaven's door

Some kinda poison prince with your eyes in a daze
Some kinda poison prince your life is like a maze
And what we all want and what we all crave
Is an upbeat song so we can dance the night away

Oh who said life was easy?
Who said life was fair?
Who said nobody gives a damn and nobody even cares?

The way you're acting now like you left that all behind
You've given up
You've given in
Another sucker of that slime

Some kinda poison prince with your eyes in a daze
Some kinda poison prince your life is like a maze
And what we all want and what we all crave
Is an upbeat song so we can dance the night away

Some kinda poison prince with your eyes in a daze
Some kinda poison prince your life is like a maze
And what we all want and what we all crave
Is an upbeat song so we can dance the night away

I hope you enjoyed your song, Severus. And perhaps, just perhaps, it taught you to think of the consequence of your actions before you try to prank your colleagues.

Pomona, Rolanda, now you have free reigns to hex Severus. Just DON'T kill him.

Pomona sneered in a way that made Severus proud and Rolanda raised her wand.

"Accio Broom! Severus, run before my broom gets here. It's a friendly advise", she said menacingly.

"Now, now, ladies. It was just a joke. We can talk about it …", Severus tried to appease them.

"No, we can't. Neville, be a dear and get me the Poisonous Pods from Greenhouse 3."

Pomona looked at Rolanda and both witches attacked at the same time to the cheers of the student body.