seeley's sweetheart: Thank you for youe feedback. And yes it is awesome having season 5 finally on our television. I already seen the season as well, but that doesn't stop me from watching it again- even given the henious time slot (I sleep my way through my morning lecture on Monday as a result...)
She sat, crossed-legged, on the floor listening to the almost inaudible breaths of the sleeping baby. She had to somehow bring him to her, to both of them. To give her the feeling that he was a part of this all. To give her the illusion that he would not miss out on it all...
Dear Vaughn,
She's here. A girl an absolutely beautiful and perfect little girl. I know that dad got the message to you, but I wanted to tell you myself. I wanted for us to be able to share in the joy together.
And after the past months I think that we more than deserve a little joy, right?
Do you know how much I wanted to see your face when you heard the news? To watch your features light up and your face break into that amazing smile?
I called her Isabelle. How could I have possibly chosen any other name? Besides, it is absolutely perfect- she truly is a beautiful one (I know, I know- mother's bias, but there is no other way to describe her).
And she does have your eyes.
Oh, how I wish that you could see her. More than having you back in my arms, I want for you to know what your daughter looks like. To inhale her sweet scent and be enveloped by this insane love. I'm sure that you are feeling that to some degree, but until you look into her eyes…
I have no idea how to describe it, Vaughn. I mean, this little girl is a part of both of us. Isabelle is the future that we all have to look forward to. I look at her and can't help but think that everything is going to be ok.
Of course, the moment I look away, reality comes crashing back down. Some things have come to light recently. Prophet 5- my mother is a part of it. She was who had me abducted in order to find the Horizon. She sat and watched the entire process, and when I gave them false information, she came to me as a mother…manipulated me.
And there's more. She knew…about the hit on you. I asked her if she was the one who put the order out, but she never gave me an answer. All she said was that she knew about your investigation and that she tried to warn you in Sovogda.
Did you know that she was a part of it? Did you have any inkling at all?
It was a real blow. I'm not saying that my mother is trustworthy and incapable of deceit, but after Sovogda…well, there was a part of me hoping that she would keep any agenda's that she may have out of my life. I should have known better. That no matter how much Irina claims to love me, deep down is a thirst for power overriding any other emotions.
Parts of me may have been able to live with other things that she has done, but the fact that she stood by, watching our life being ripped apart is not one of them.
She once said to me that the truth takes time. Well, I have finally seen her as the person she truly is.
She failed at being mother, Vaughn, and she had the audacity to tell me that I would too. That I would either fail at being a mother or an agent. By doing that she placed me in the same category as herself.
I can tell you now, that as well as getting you back home, I am determined to prove her wrong. I want nothing more than to be home with Isabelle, but until those who provide a risk are gone, I can't. I want for our daughter to grow up safe, and to do that I need to be both a mother and agent…for the time being at least.
I can do it, can't I? We can do it, can't we, Vaughn? If you say that it is so, then I can believe it. I know, I know- I am usually strong enough to come to conclusions myself, but this is something that I am going to need some support with.
Alone, I am not entirely sure, but together…we will be indestructible, Vaughn. I just know it.
We have a reason to truly fight now. My past intentions and ideals seem somewhat diminished when I look at Isabelle. When I do return to the field, I will be risking so much more, but it's a risk that we need to take. I will continue this fight until we are together as a family, living somewhere reclusive and beautiful, without having to worry if somebody is waiting for us around the corner.
I'm sitting in Isabelle's room right now, listening to her breathe as she sleeps. Our daughter's mere presence has the ability to completely soothe me. I cannot wait for you to experience that.
I have no idea as to whether we are any closer to being together. The wait is going to be even more agonizing- because right now I am waiting for the both of us.
I love you, Vaughn. Waiting for the day when you, I and Isabelle become complete.
Sydney.
Standing up, she moved towards the dresser. She folded the paper once...twice into a neat rectangle. She picked up the photograph of him that she had placed there. Removing the back, she placed the paper behind the photo and then sealed it again. It was a huge risk, not destroying the letter. But, for now, this was only way that father and daughter were going to be together.
