I don't own Hadrian; he's Disney's character. I do own Kane, Isabel, and her family.
6: Spoken word
A loud knocking on the door got Isabel out of bed early in the morning. She rubbed her forehead, trying to rid of herself of a headache that had been stabbing her violently for a day now. She was planning a bloody, bloody death for the ignorant bastard pounding on her door as if the moron did not have any sense at all. She was so out of it that she did not bother to look through the peephole; she just opened the door with the intent to murder whoever stood before her. She got the shock of her day, which hit twice as hard since she was so exhausted. It knocked her homicidal rage right out of her.
"Ka … Kane …" Isabel muttered through trembling teeth with wide, disbelieving emerald eyes. Her heart pounded exceptionally loud in her chest while her headache throbbed a bit from the surprise.
Kane stood in the doorway, hand posed to knock again. He looked as disheveled as always, but somehow even more so. His wild auburn hair was barely in the rubber band that he used to keep it in a ponytail and his hair was going every way that it could; it was also going some ways that had to be against some law of physics. His clothing was wrinkled, which was something new; sure, he wore clothing that kind of made him look like a hobo, but he was never so sloppy about it. His attire also hung off him awkwardly, his collar almost ripped and revealing part of his shoulder, and the shirt was on backwards. His eyes did not look vibrant and fresh, but tired and worried with lines etched underneath them and dark circles around them.
"Bella, is everything okay?" he asked in a frantic tone, his head moving forward, shaking his hair like leaves in a heavy wind. "Hadrian? Is he okay? Are you okay? What's wrong?" he demanded in a panicked tone, talking too quickly to give her a chance to break in at first.
Isabel blinked hard a couple of times before responding. "Everything's fine."
"Hadrian's fine?" he asked in a desperate tone to be sure. His eyes begged to know that the baby was all right.
"Yes, in fact, he's sleeping."
"And you? You're fine? Nothing happened? You didn't get into a car accident or something? Dammit, I knew I should've taught you how to drive! Why the hell didn't I teach you how to drive?" Kane would have rambled on and on, but she stopped him … for a moment anyway.
"Kane, calm down!" Isabel grabbed him by his shoulders and shook him slightly.
"Oh, god, I shouldn't have left!" A look washed over him as if he was about to burst into tears.
Isabel decided to drag him into her apartment, knowing that some of her nosier neighbors were getting a free show, complete with her in a skimpy robe. She shut the door with care, not wishing to wake Hadrian. She then turned her attention to Kane.
She had to take a moment to stare at him, eyebrow arched and mouth slightly open. What the hell is he doing there? She had just been on the phone with him not even two days ago where she was sure he was entertaining some Italian girl and now he was in her apartment. What's going on? Could I actually be dreaming?
"Bella, are you sure you're all right?" he pressed, his eyes still imploring her for confirmation. "Is Hadrian okay? Oh, god, I'll never forgive myself if something's wrong with you! What hell is wrong with me? Why the hell did I leave?" Kane began hitting himself in the forehead with the heel of his hand. How could I be so fucking stupid to just leave, he scolded himself. What the hell is wrong with me?
Isabel acted without thinking, doing the best thing to calm him down. She went to him and embraced him. He immediately halted his actions and words. He breathed a sigh of relief as he realized that he was in her warm embrace. Once he reveled in the moment for a few seconds, he returned the gesture, hugging her back.
Isabel's lip trembled as she felt his thick arms around her waist. A warm feeling coursed through her as she felt him press against her and her heart felt like it might melt. She broke down against him, sobbing into his shoulder. He was speechless by her behavior.
"Oh, god, Kane! I'm so sorry!" she bawled.
Kane acted automatically, gently rubbing her back, hoping to calm her down. He was not sure what was going on, but her crying certainly was not easing his worry like her warm, almost loving hug had been mere seconds ago. Something has got to be seriously wrong.
"Bella, are you okay? Is Hadrian okay?" he asked again, voice lower, but just as desperate as before. They were really the only two people that he had in the world and he needed to know that they were fine.
"Kane, why are you even here?" she countered, trying her best to dry her tears. Why am I crying yet again? She could hear her frustration in her own head. She did not have any answers, except the obvious one: she missed the little idiot. The answer did not stop the tears from falling down her eyes, but the flow did slow a bit.
"You call me, but we got disconnected before you could say why you called. I got worried, so I came over as fast as I could," he explained briefly.
"You rushed over here because of one phone call?" she asked in sheer disbelief. One phone call and he came from half way around the world to see me? It could not be real. He can't be real.
Kane looked away momentarily, as if he was shamed of his actions. He considered that he might have gone overboard, but he really did not care. "Well … yeah. I thought you or Hadrian might be hurt …"
Isabel could not believe her ears. She had been a total bitch toward him for most of his stay and she made one phone call to him, hanging up on him in the process, and he rushed over to see if she and her son were all right. She felt worse than she had a minute ago when she first started crying, so she bawled harder now. Her tears practically streamed down her eyes like twin rivers.
"I'm really sorry!" she apologized now. The things that she thought after that phone call, she recalled. God, he would probably try to kill her if he knew just what she was thinking and with the way she felt right now, she might let him.
"It's okay, Bella. It's okay. Just tell me, you're okay, right?" he asked and she nodded. "And the little prince is okay, right?"
When Isabel nodded again, Kane breathed a sign of relief. His heart finally stopped beating a mile-a-minute and feeling like it might explode. His stomach finally felt like it might be able to accept food again.
"Then that's all that matters," Kane told her in a whisper, gently caressing her back with the hope that it would get her to calm down.
"No. No, it's not," Isabel replied, still crying. She pulled away enough to look at him.
"For now, it is, Bella," he promised her while reaching up to wipe away her tears. She pressed her cheek into his caring fingers. He wanted to smile, but it was not the time.
Isabel felt so weakened by his presence alone and his touch was almost enough to knock her off her feet. She could not believe the wave of relief that washed over her just because he was there. She had to tell him, which upset her because she was certain that it would just drive him away again.
"Kane …" Isabel said, voice in such shambles that it was difficult to get his mere name out of her mouth.
"Yes?" he replied curiously.
"Um … you might want to sit down for this."
Oh, boy, he thought; nothing good ever starts with that phrase. But, then again, whenever that phrase was used, it tended to be good advice. So, he made his way to the couch, making sure to keep a hold on her. He sat down and she joined him, wishing to remain close to him, but deciding against it. She sat down almost a foot away from him, which he thought was rather strange, especially since they had just been hugging. Her actions added to his anxiety and his heart was back to beating like it was ready to explode.
She did not want him to push her away after she told him what was up. She doubted that she could take the physical rejection, especially considering how good his embrace just felt. She dried her tears completely and took a few calming breaths before she started talking. She was a little amazed that it hardly took ten seconds to stop such a thorough cry.
"Kane, when I called you, I had something very important that I wanted to tell you," Isabel started and then she noticed that he was about to talk. She put her hand up to shut him up. "Yes, I'm fine and Hadrian's fine," she informed him with a sigh, which got a nod out of him.
"That's good. That's good," he said with a smile. "So, what was so important that you didn't pick up when I called back? Or at least call me back after we got disconnected?"
Isabel sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes, more amused than anything else. He's such a little idiot, she thought. He did not even know that she hung up on him. It did not even seem to cross his mind that she might have hung up on him.
"Kane, I hung up you because it sounded like you were busy with your lady friend," she told him, allowing some bitterness to sneak into her tone there. Her eyes flashed heatedly briefly and a frown graced her lips for a millisecond or so.
He scratched the side of his head. "Lady friend? Oh, you mean Rosette? Well, she's a friend … I don't know about the lady part," he remarked, amusing himself enough to get a chuckle out of himself.
"And who is Rosette?" she asked, trying to control a growl, but some of it clawed its way out.
"A painter friend of mine. She was looking through the art in my house when you called me. She's been trying to get inspired," he explained with a shrug. It seemed that Isabel's anger was going right by him or he was very good at ignoring it by now.
"Inspired how?" she pressed.
"Um … you've seen my house, Bella. There's a lot of art and stuff around the place. She looks at art to get inspired."
"Why go to your house? Why not a museum?"
"Because I'd like company every now and then," he answered while wondering how her confession turned into his interrogation.
Isabel was quiet momentarily because she had not been expecting that answer, nor was she expecting an answer that quickly. It made sense that Kane wanted company; he was in that big house by himself. Still, she did not like the idea of him being in that house alone with some artist girl.
"Wait, you hung up on me because you heard me and Rosette?" A near-demonic smile curled onto Kane's face while a light bulb went on in his head. "You're jealous, aren't you, Bella?"
Isabel snorted most indignantly and she folded her arms across her chest as she turned her nose up. "Like hell I am! What do I care what some bimbo does with an idiot like you!"
Kane laughed and smiled his usual smile; she was so jealous. He was going to take the chance to tease her, especially since she seemed to be back to normal, but he really wanted to get to know why she called him in the first place. Maybe there would be time for teasing later on, or so he hoped.
"I guess you make it a point, Bella. So, why did you call anyway?" he asked curiously, taking things back to the main topic.
The question brought Isabel back to her somber state. She looked away and took a deep breath to compose herself. She reminded herself who she was: Isabel Han, the second deadliest woman on Earth (her mother had to be the first by default considering how she still folded to the woman at times). She could and would tell him what happened just as plainly as she would say anything else … or so she hoped.
"Kane, I called you to tell you I was pregnant," she stated, sounding surprisingly strong, but unmistakably forced. It was like that was not even her voice. She was surprised that she did not gag or choke after speaking from the way her voice came out.
"Pregnant?" he echoed. His brain had to play catch up, which she expected. Okay, she was pregnant … and she was telling him. So, it probably had something to do with him. "You're carrying my baby!" He grinned, not a surprise there.
The surprise came when Kane leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Isabel's waist. He laughed and snuggled his face into her tummy. She got the urge to hit him, but she was also put at peace thanks to his wanting touch. She almost smiled when she felt his nose cruising over her bellybutton.
"Hey, little one! Daddy's out here now!" Kane practically cheered.
Isabel wished that she could leave things at that. Hell, usually, she would have left things at that. Right now, though, she needed to be totally honest with him. She was not sure why she felt the urge to be completely open with him, especially when she was scared that would drive him away, but she knew that she just had to do it. He deserved that much.
She reached down and ran her fingers through his unruly mane. "I'm not done yet, Kane."
"Not done, yet?" he echoed as if he did not understand. What more could there possibly be to tell? We're having yet another baby!
"I got very scared of the thought of being alone with two babies."
"You got scared, Bella?" he asked in disbelief. She might as well have told him that the moon was made of cheese from the look on his face.
Isabel smiled a bit; it was flattering that he thought she was so strong. She liked to think that she was strong, dangerous, but sometimes the unknown was too much and everything seemed so overwhelming. So, yes, even she was weak and scared sometimes. She caressed his scalp a bit, seemingly drawing the strength to go on.
"I didn't know what I would do with two babies. I mean, you mostly took care of Hadrian," she admitted.
"What? I took care of him at night. During the day, we were a team," he pointed out. Yes, he had Hadrian when she worked, which was not even every day of the week, and he did it at night when the baby mostly slept.
"Either way, I didn't know what I was going to do. I felt so panicky …"
"Bella, you should've just called me when you found out. I would've come right back," he stated soundly.
"I see that now, but I didn't know it then. I mean, I don't even know why you left," she reminded him. She never would have guessed that he would come back like he did. She imagined he would have found a way to get back to her faster if she told him that she was pregnant. After all, he was over in a flash just because she hung up the phone on him.
Kane nodded. "I'll tell you why I left as soon as you're finished telling me about this."
"Fair trade, I suppose." She paused to take a deep breath. "I actually thought about other options."
"Like adoption?" he asked with a craned eyebrow. He did not see what was so bad about that.
She laughed a bit; it was a hollow sound. "The other option."
Kane was silent for a moment, making sure to keep his face hidden in her toned stomach. It was his turn to take a deep breath. He then braved looking up at her. She met his gaze.
"Just thought about, right?" he inquired, seriousness cutting through his usual happy tone.
"Yes," she answered.
"Well then, that's fine. As long as there's still somebody in here," he commented, poking her in the stomach, close to her bellybutton.
"Yes, there's still somebody in there."
"Then it's more than fine!" he grinned.
"How can you say that?" she asked quietly, still caressing his head.
"I understand you were scared. I mean, I just left and you're on your own. I know how you hate asking your mom for help and Vic is a party girl, so she wouldn't have too much time to help you, not that you would ask her either. You're an independent girl, Bella. Not to mention, you care about Hadrian. You want to be able to take care of him and you want to be able to keep doing what you're doing."
Isabel was speechless for a moment. Why the hell is he being so understanding? How can he be so understanding? Why he's being so sweet? And then she remembered, he was always like that. She continued on rubbing his head.
"So … why did you leave?" she inquired, still speaking quietly. She was ready to admit that it was probably her fault that he left. She had done something to him, but she was not totally sure what yet.
Kane thought about what he was going to say for a few seconds. He was about to tell her that he left for the same reason that she hung up on him; they both seemed to have the power to hurt each other. But, he did not want to jump right into assuming that he did have that power.
"To be honest, I didn't wanna get hurt again," he confessed. Once he said it out loud, he realized that it sounded kind of girly, but he really did not care. "I thought that eventually you were gonna get sick and tired of me. I mean, I know I'm annoying. Sometimes it's by design, but mostly that's just the way I am. I thought about how it would feel when you finally did get rid of me. How it would feel to be away from you, away from Hadrian, and forced out by you …"
An elegant ebony eyebrow arched. "So, instead, you force yourself away from us?"
"I know it sounds stupid and I know you're probably calling me an idiot right now in your head—" he was cut off from finishing that line.
"No, I'm calling you an idiot out loud and to your face, idiot." Despite her words, she sounded completely normal for the first time that night and she did continue rubbing his head. He smiled a little.
She was a bit surprised to know that Kane worried about being thrown out when she was actually going to let him stay around for as long as he wanted … well, that was the plan anyway. She supposed that one day, she could have gotten sick of him, but she would not have taken Hadrian from him. He thought of Hadrian as his son, so that would have just been cruel.
"I'm sorry, Bella, but that was how I felt. I knew I would've just died on the inside if you did that. So, I wanted to save myself in someway," he continued on.
"Did it work?" Is he happier away from my and the baby?
Kane chuckled; it sounded so empty and almost bitter. "Of course it didn't work. It was like Hell on Earth. I was in the big fucking house by myself. I didn't know what was going on with you or with Hadrian. I was scared all the time, thinking something might happen to you or him and I was too far away to do anything about it. I couldn't sleep and I could barely eat anything. You should've seen how Rosette looked at me when she showed up at the house. She thought I was sick and I mean really sick, not the flu, but like a disease. She was actually the first person I saw since I left here that wasn't carrying a takeout box."
Isabel was going to point out that he still looked a rather sickly, but she left that alone. "Why didn't you just come back if you felt like that? If it hurt anyway?"
"Because I thought it would hurt so much more when you left me and took Hadrian with you?" Saying it out loud seemed almost silly to him considering the fact that he seemed to think that he was damned if he did and damned if he did not.
"Kane, where the hell am I going to go? I've been in this apartment for just a year and I've got a baby to take care of, so where the hell am I going?"
He shook his head, rubbing his face into her stomach. "I don't know. It's just I kept thinking you'd leave. I didn't think far enough to where you'd go or what you'd do when you got there. Maybe you'd throw me out or something. I dunno."
Isabel sighed and shook her head. It was quiet for a moment before Isabel could ask the next question. "Why would you leave after … after …" The words "making love to me" really wanted to come out of her mouth, but she refused them the chance. Instead she said, "After sleeping with me?"
"Oh … that …" His voice was thick with shame and his eyes got lost on the floor briefly. He should have known that was bad form, even if Isabel had done it before.
Silence reigned over the apartment again for several long seconds. It really turned out to be a mistake to leave after that night, Kane thought. From then on, naughty thoughts were on his mind half the time that he was thinking of Isabel for about two weeks. The only reason they started to diminish was because he feared that he only lusted after Isabel and saw her as a sexual fantasy. He wanted to believe that she meant so much more to him than that, even though he did not know how much she meant to him.
"I left after that because … well … I thought it was going to be the time for you to give me the boot. I thought about our first time and how you left me that morning. God, it felt like you ripped my heart out of my chest, making sure to take any and everything connected to it with it. That was the pain I didn't wanna feel again, so I thought I had to get away before it happened. Sounds stupid, I know," he explained.
"Very stupid," she concurred. Although on the inside, she took some of the blame. She should have told him goodbye that first time, but he looked so peaceful, sleeping with his goofy smile plastered on his face and a line of drool coming out of his mouth. She thought it would be better to just let him sleep and she did have things to do anyway. She did not want to risk waking him and they end up going at it again.
"That's why I left, though."
"Yet you hurry back to me, the person who can cause you so much pain, from one phone call where I hung up on you?" Her face seemed baffled. It did not make any sense to her.
"What can I say? I'm a glutton for punishment," he remarked and that might have been the truth, but there was more to it. "I was worried about you."
Her heart softened a little and part of her dared to feel flattered by that admission. Still, she wanted to pick his brain and get to the bottom of why he behaved as he did with her. "Why worry about me, Kane? Why go through all this trouble for me?"
He thought that was obvious. "I promised I'd be there for you."
"But, why'd you make that promise?"
Kane smiled and hugged Isabel tighter, drawing his face closer to her body. He rubbed his nose in her stomach again, nuzzling her navel. She looked down at him, unsure of what the actions meant. She brought her free hand up to rest of his back.
"Why'd you give me that opening?" he countered. Why did you give me the hope that Hadrian was mine in the first place? She could have easily banished him from her life by letting him leave her mother's house in that dejected state he was in after the first time she told him that he was not the father when he first found out that she was pregnant.
Isabel decided not to answer that one out loud, but she did think about it. She gave him that opening because she did not like seeing him in that depressed state. He was not supposed to be sorrowful in her opinion and she especially did not like that she had been the one that put him in that state. She was not sure why she disliked depressing him, but she knew that she did.
"So, what now?" Isabel wondered aloud.
"What do you mean? We have a baby is what!" he cheered.
"Well, aside from that, idiot," she said. The word "idiot" was starting to sound more and more like a term of endearment coming from her.
"Oh, well, I guess that's up to you, Bella. I'll here for you, like always," he vowed.
"No more running away?" she inquired with a stern look on her face and a craned eyebrow.
"I won't run away. I hate to break it to you, Bella, but you are actually stuck with me for life now. I mean, we've got two kids now and there's no way in hell you could handle both of them on your own."
Isabel feigned being insulted. "I could do it without an idiot like you. You'd probably just make it more difficult since you'd be like having a third kid," she declared.
"I'm sure you could, Bella. I'm sure you could."
Isabel looked down at him with surprise evident in her emerald eyes. Kane did not seem to notice, his face still against her abdomen. His breathing was starting to change, getting more even and relaxed. He was falling asleep.
"Kane, did you sleep on the flight over?" she asked curiously.
He shook his head. He had been too worried to sleep, plus he worked himself up into a frenzy, thinking that Isabel or Hadrian was hurt in some manner. Before that, he had not been sleeping well anyway. He finally felt at ease and all of the anxiety was starting to wear off. Being able to embrace Isabel and feel her fingers on his scalp certainly was helping to comfort him and let him know that it was finally all right to sleep.
"Kane?" Isabel said as she felt his breathing steady against her. He was sleeping. She smiled and left him as he was.
She watched him in his sleep for a while. She was thankful that he did not ask the most embarrassing question of them, especially considering what happened with Hadrian. He did not ask if the baby was his. She wondered if it just did not matter to him or he figured out that she would not have called him if the baby had a chance of being someone's child.
She considered that she might bring that up later on. The discussion that they just shared, honest questions with honest answers, was quite refreshing. She felt better knowing why he left and she felt better telling him about the baby. Maybe talking about one's feelings was not as bad as she thought it was … well, to a certain extent.
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. One half-hour conversation, crying, and some hugs and I'm suddenly ready to bear my soul to him? Yeah, right," she scoffed. For now, she would take things moment by moment with Kane. This moment asked for her to go back to sleep for a couple of hours. She was out just as quickly as Kane.
-8-8-8-8-
Next time: Kane and Isabel talk things over about the baby and then do something crazy.
