A/N: Sidenote, since this chapter takes place right before Lily's last year of Hogwarts, the next chapters won't necessarily take place a year apart. Just so you don't get confused. Keep leaving comments and following, it makes me very happy!
Chapter 7- Mistaken
Scorpius woke up with a splitting headache that could only mean he had had too much to drink the night before. Being hungover sucked, especially after two beers and too much firewhiskey to remember. He was trying to piece together the events that led to him ending up in his bed again, because he surely didn't remember how he got there. He opened his eyes and started to list the things he did know. It was a Sunday at the end of August. He had gone out to a bar with Albus and Bailey, but they ended up leaving before he did. Maybe if he got out of bed it would help. He started to move when he heard rustling in the space next to him. He turned to see a girl in bed next to him. And not just any girl. A Ruby McLaggen.
Shit. How did that happen again? It wasn't supposed to happen again. He thought he had left her behind when he left Hogwarts. It was starting to come back to him. After Albus and Bailey left he began consuming more alcohol than was good for him. Ruby showed up at the bar and they started talking. She had told him that she was having one last hurrah before she had to go back for her final year of Hogwarts. Scorpius understood. Seventh year of Hogwarts was entirely devoted to sitting the N.E.W.T.s. There was barely time to breathe. She had then continued to tell him that she was really glad they had run into each other. It was just what she needed to end her last hurrah on a good note. And that's how that had happened.
Fuck. Scorpius didn't want to give Ruby any ideas. He had been a bit of an asshole the last time they hooked up before he left school, and he didn't want to repeat that. He would have to find a way to tell her off nicely. He slowly got out of bed so as not to wake her, put on a pair of boxers he found on the floor, and went to see if Albus was in his room. He padded across the hall to see that Al's room was empty. He must have spent the night at Bailey's. Scorpius decided to resort to a very Muggle resource, the cellphone that Albus had given him. It had taken a very long time to figure out, but Scorpius was now used to the weird rectangle. He texted Albus, "When are you coming home? EMERGENCY!" Once he had pressed send, he decided to lay down on the couch until he got a reply. He didn't think his body would allow him to stand much longer.
No sooner than he had sat down, there was a knock on the door. Scorpius looked at his phone. It was only 9:30. Who would be calling on them this early? Maybe Albus had forgotten his key and was locked out. But wouldn't he have texted that so Scorpius knew it was him? He slowly lifted himself up, so he wouldn't feel like puking and shuffled to the front door. He wasn't expecting to find Lily in front of it and the minute he saw her, he instantly felt guilty.
"Lily!" he said a little too loudly. She gave him an inquisitive look.
"Good morning. Is Albus here? Mum wanted me to bring him this gossip rag as a joke," Lily said.
"No, he spent the night at Bailey's. He's not back yet."
"I take it Al wasn't the only one who had a good night last night," she said, gesturing at his current outfit.
"How do you know I don't just sleep in these?"
"You've put them on backwards, Scorpius." He looked down to see that she was very much correct.
Scorpius laughed nervously. "It's my hungover brain, I guess. I'm feeling a bit sick, it's taking all of my energy not to fall over or puke."
"Did you mix beer and firewhiskey again?"
"I think you know me a bit too well, Potter."
"I guess those are the perks of being your best friend's little sister." Scorpius had missed this. Their easy banter was never hard to get back into, even if they hadn't seen each other in a while. He had almost forgotten about the unexpected visitor in his bedroom, until she decided to make an appearance.
"Scor?" Ruby called, as she peered from the back hallway. She was wearing his button down from last night and she didn't look nearly as hungover as Scorpius felt.
Scorpius's eyes felt as though they were about to pop out of his head. He had never wanted Lily to find out about his thing with Ruby. He had always been worried about what she would think, especially because of the whole kiss rumor. This was the worst way for her to find out.
"Ruby! I thought you were still asleep," Scorpius said nervously.
"Well I'm awake now, and I was wondering where you went. Was someone at the door?" Ruby asked as she looked up to see Lily standing in the hallway. "Lily! It's so good to see you. Are you ready for one last year at Hogwarts?"
"Yeah, it should be fun," Lily said quietly. Scorpius wasn't really able to read the look on her face, but it certainly didn't give off a positive energy.
"Well say hi to Mark for me. And I guess I'll see you in a week," Ruby said. She moved closer to Scorpius. "I'll be in your room whenever you're ready." She kissed him and then scampered back down the hallway, leaving him standing with Lily.
For a few seconds, neither of them spoke, until Lily broke the silence.
"So. You and Ruby…" she said, not really sure how to finish the sentence.
"Well, yeah, but it was just last night. I mean, it's happened before but…"
"You don't have to explain yourself Scorpius. I know you two had a thing back when you were still at Hogwarts. I just didn't realize it was still happening."
"Lily, this was a one time thing. Last night was the first time I've seen her since I left school."
"Scor, your sex life is none of my business. Seriously, I don't care." Lily started backing out of the flat. "Oh, hey, just make sure to give this to Albus. I have to get going. School shopping to do and all. Enjoy your company."
"Lil, I…"
"Stop talking, Scorpius," Lily said quietly as she turned and left. Scorpius stood at his door, confused and embarrassed about what had just happened.
The most confusing thing about the whole encounter was that he felt guilty. Why should he feel guilty? Lily was right, there was no reason he should feel bad about this. It certainly wasn't a crime for Scorpius to have sex, and it wasn't her business. Yet somehow, he didn't think he was ever going to get over the hurt, devastated look on her face when she saw Ruby pop out from the bedroom.
Scorpius closed the door and then stood still for a moment. He wasn't completely sure if the events of the last few minutes had actually happened, so he was hoping if he didn't move, then he would wake up from whatever horrible nightmare was occurring in his fucked up mind. He even tried pinching himself. When he realized he actually was awake, he put Albus's magazine on the kitchen counter and then took a deep breath before padding back to his bedroom to find a way to let Ruby down gently.
"Good morning," Ruby said. She got up from the bed and put her arms around Scorpius and pressed her lips hungrily to his. She must have just brushed her teeth, because she tasted like mint. Scorpius shuddered to think what his breath must have tasted like. At first, he kissed her back, remembering how great a kisser she was, then realizing what he had come into the room to do, he abruptly pulled away.
"Ruby, this is wrong," Scorpius said as he sat down on the foot of the bed.
"What's so wrong about it? You didn't think it was wrong last night."
"It was wrong then too, but I was too drunk to realize it. This can't happen anymore."
"I don't understand. I like you, you like me. We're good together," Ruby mused as she took a seat next to Scorpius.
"I'm beginning to think that you like me a bit more than I like you." Scorpius cringed. He hadn't meant for that sentence to come out as terribly as it did. Ruby was silent.
"There's someone else isn't there?"
Scorpius nodded. They were quiet for a minute, as neither of them knew what to say.
"Is it Lily?" Ruby asked.
"Was I that obvious just now?" Scorpius blushed. He had hoped his emotions hadn't shown on his face.
"Just a tad. How long have you felt this way?"
"I guess since I was about sixteen. The day you spread the rumor about Lily never being kissed, I kissed her against my better judgment. I couldn't figure out why I did it, but after Albus chewed me out for it, I figured it was better to pretend it hadn't happened, but it had, and we didn't talk for almost a year. It was really hard to avoid her since she was in the same house as me and we both played Quidditch. During the middle of seventh year, we started talking again and I think that's when I finally came to terms with my feelings for her. I didn't want anything to happen for Al's sake, so I tried to move on. It hasn't worked out so well though."
"I see," Ruby said quietly.
"Ruby, I never meant to hurt you, but I fucked up. You deserve someone better than me. You deserve someone who actually feels the same way about you. I've been an absolute git."
"You know, if you had come to me and said all this when you broke things off the first time, I would have said I didn't really care," Ruby said. She got up from the bed and began looking for her clothes.
"Why is that?"
"I was a very insecure fifteen year old. I spent a lot of time attempting to justify my choices, especially hooking up with you. I know we said no strings attached, but I developed feelings for you. I even asked Lily how you were doing one time last year. She had a weird reaction, which I should have taken as a bit of a red flag, but I put it out of my mind. When I ran into you last night, I thought it was my chance to finally see if you had feelings for me. And when you kissed me, I thought that you really cared. But I guess I was mistaken." By this point, Ruby had found all of her clothes and she looked as though she was ready to leave.
"You know, even though you led me on, you're not a complete git," Ruby mused on her way to the door. "The name Malfoy can be misleading, but you're a good person. And if Lily can't see that, then maybe she's not the girl for you. I think she'll come around though. Even a blind man could see that you two are in love, and I'm not going to stand in the middle of that. I think you should tell her."
"What about Mark Thomas?"
"That won't last. Trust me. You might be surprised by her answer. I'll see you around." Ruby left the room, but then backtracked. "Oh, and Scorpius?"
"Yeah?"
"Your pants are on backwards."
"So I've been told," Scorpius said with a smile. Ruby smiled and gave a quick wave before leaving for good.
After such an eventful morning, all Scorpius wanted was to crawl back into bed, but he knew he wouldn't be able to fall asleep with so much on his mind. Ruby had said a lot of things that really got him thinking. How strong were his feelings for Lily? He'd always pushed them aside, hoping that one day they would just disappear. That obviously hadn't worked out very well. A lot of his reservations in telling Lily how he felt were because he was afraid of how Albus would react. Why should he let Al stand in the way of his happiness? If anything, he'd get over it eventually. And it wasn't as though Scorpius telling Lily his feelings was a guarantee that they'd be together. Maybe that was why he was so scared to tell her.
Scorpius sat up again. He was going to do it. He was going to call Lily and tell her how he felt. He stood up and tried to remember where he had put his phone. He walked as quickly as his hangover allowed him to the kitchen, where his phone was on the counter. He dialed Lily's number right away, so as not to chicken out.
"Hi, you've reached Lily Potter. I can't come to the phone right now, so leave a message and I'll get back to you," spouted her voicemail. Scorpius sighed, but didn't hang up right away. The beep on the other line woke him from his trance. He was silent for another minute.
"Oh! Hi, Lily. I um, I just wanted to…" Scorpius hadn't planned very far ahead. "...I just wanted to say that it was really nice seeing you this morning, even if it might have been a bit awkward. Anyway, good luck with seventh year and your N.E.W.T.s. No need to call me back." He hung up, embarrassed that Lily would eventually hear that message.
Scorpius didn't know what had come over him. Professing his feelings seemed like such a good idea only two minutes earlier. At the same time, it was probably a bad idea considering some things were better told in person than over voicemail. And even though Ruby was certain that things wouldn't last between Lily and Mark, it was definitely a git move to go after someone's girlfriend. Either way, Scorpius knew he was going to be in a shitty mood the rest of the day. He really wished that he had never gotten out of bed.
…
Lily hadn't expected her day to take such a turn so early in the morning. She was only doing her mother a favor, as she and Albus had a running joke going. Ever since Albus had started dating Bailey, their outings had become fuel for gossip, especially in Witch Weekly. The latest issue featured a picture of Al and Bailey on the cover along with the headline, "The Boy Who Loved, Engaged?" Lily and her parents found this laughable, seeing as Al hadn't even been with Bailey for a full year. When Ginny told her daughter to take the magazine over to him, there was no way she would know that it would cause Lily such emotional confusion.
Yes, Lily already knew about Ruby and Scorpius and their thing back at Hogwarts. She had come to terms with it and accepted it. There was nothing she could have done about it and by the time she found out, it was over. Or so she thought. Although she and Ruby had mended their fences, it didn't exactly fill Lily with joy if she had to see Ruby outside of Hogwarts. Especially if that place was Scorpius and Al's flat. Even though the flat didn't belong to her, it seemed as though Ruby had ruined what Lily felt to be a sanctuary. A place where she could hang out with two of her best friends. Even though there was no longer a chance of anything romantic happening between her and Scorpius, it was still nice to have his company. She had Mark for romantic company anyway.
Mark. Yes, that was part of the emotional confusion. If she had Mark, then what on earth was making her have an internal freak out in the middle of Quality Quidditch Supplies? Hugo was already upset that he had to be dragged into the store against his will, and now she was wasting his time.
"Lily? Are you there?" Hugo started waving his hand in front of his cousin's face. "Can you get a new broom servicing kit so we can leave? I saw Deacon Lennox on his way into Flourish and Blotts and I want to attempt to casually run into him."
"You can go on ahead, Hugo. I'm right behind you," Lily said as she gave a small smile.
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine."
"I don't believe you."
"I'm not going to talk about it."
"Fine. I'll meet you in the Romance aisle." Hugo patted Lily on the shoulder and then practically ran out of the store in the direction of Flourish and Blotts.
Lily picked up a new broom servicing kit and started heading to the line to check out. With Hugo gone, she had nothing to distract her from her thoughts, so she pulled out her cell phone to distract her instead. Too bad the first thing she saw when her screen lit up was a voicemail from Scorpius. Seriously? Was that how this was going to be? She swiped to listen to it.
"...Oh! Hi, Lily. I um, I just wanted to... I just wanted to say that it was really nice seeing you this morning, even if it might have been a bit awkward. Anyway, good luck with seventh year and your N.E.W.T.s. No need to call me back."
Lily couldn't exactly read Scorpius's tone on the message. He almost sounded nervous. He probably hadn't just called to tell her good luck on her N.E.W.T.s. So what exactly had he actually called for? It obviously was no longer important, considering he said there was no need to call him back. She paid for her items and headed to meet Hugo at the bookstore.
"Lily!" came a voice from behind her. She turned around to see Mark running toward her, which made her smile. Even if she was confused about her feelings for Scorpius, she really did like Mark. He was a great boyfriend. Lily met him the rest of the way and threw her arms around him.
"Hey. What are you doing later?" Lily asked, before placing a quick kiss on her boyfriend's lips.
"I was going to start packing, but I can always push that back," Mark replied.
"Good. Let's have an impromptu date night. Sort of a last hurrah before seventh year mentally tears our brains out?"
"That sounds like a good idea. Do you want to start early and make it a rest of the day thing?"
"Let me go check on Hugo, and I'll meet you in front of The Leaky Cauldron. Does that sound okay?"
"It sounds perfect." Mark smiled and Lily couldn't help but reach up to kiss him again, this time a bit more frenzied. Remembering that they were in public and in the middle of the street, Lily reluctantly pulled away and quickly walked into Flourish and Blotts. She headed for the back of the store, where the Romance section was located. She figured Hugo would be more than okay if she went off with Mark, since they had already finished their shopping. She didn't get a chance to ask though, because when she reached the Romance section, she found Hugo in the middle of snogging Deacon Lennox. He'd be fine. Mission accomplished. As Lily left the bookstore to go meet Mark, she realized she had no reason to be confused about the events of that morning. She had Mark and that was all that mattered.
…
It was around noon when Albus returned to the flat. He was hoping Scorpius wouldn't be too mad at him, considering he somewhat ignored his phone while he and Bailey went out for brunch. Scorpius was usually pretty understanding and he knew how much Al cared about his girlfriend. He half expected to see his roommate on the couch reading a book, as he did most Sundays, but he wasn't there.
"Scorpius?" Albus called, as he looked on the counter and saw a copy of Witch Weekly. He chuckled to himself. Lily must have been over.
"Scorpius? Are you home?" Al called again, since he hadn't gotten an answer the first time. That was weird. Where could he have gone on a Sunday? Al walked through the flat to Scorpius's bedroom to find that his friend was at home, but he was lying on the ground in his boxers, as if he hadn't had the energy to make it back to his bed, which was only a foot away. Albus went over and poked him with his foot.
"Albus?" Scorpius rolled over. "Where the hell have you been, and why didn't you answer my text?"
"Sorry, Bailey took me out for brunch. Your pants are on backwards." He helped Scorpius up and sat him back on his bed.
"You're the third person to tell me that today, and frankly, I don't appreciate it."
"Sorry, mate. So what was the big emergency? I get the feeling it wasn't just that you're majorly hungover."
"I slept with Ruby last night," Scorpius said quietly.
"Shit." Al didn't know what else to say. He thought back to when Scorpius first hooked up with Ruby at Hogwarts. When he ended things, he hadn't been very nice. He didn't know the whole story, but Scorpius had told him enough to know that he had been a dick about it.
"I fucked up, Al. I made a monumental mistake. She liked me a lot more than I thought she did. And last night, when I kissed her, I made her feel like she stood a chance."
"I don't really know what to say, man. You were awful to her."
"Thanks, Al. Make me feel like even more of a shitty person than I already am."
"Well I'm certainly not going to tell you that it's all okay. It's not, you just broke someone's heart!" With that, Albus looked up to see tears beginning to stream down Scorpius's face. In their seven years of friendship, this was the first time Albus had ever seen his best friend cry. And he felt horrible that he had partially caused it. "Hey, man, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. And you're not a shitty person. You're a normal person who makes mistakes. You feeling bad about them is a good thing. It means you're not a sociopath. Would you like some coffee? It might help your hangover."
Scorpius nodded. Albus patted his arm and then got up to go make coffee. He was at the door when Scorpius called back to him.
"Al?" he said quietly.
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
Albus smiled. "You'd do the same for me." He headed out to the kitchen and turned on the faucet to fill up the coffee pot. Even though he didn't always approve of Scorpius's choices, Albus knew that he was hurting and he had to be there for his friend. And for now, that meant no scolding, just helping him cure his hangover.
…
Once Albus was gone, Scorpius let his tears flow more freely. Honestly, his crying had absolutely nothing to do with hurting Ruby. He was crying because for the first time, he understood why Albus didn't want him to be with Lily. No matter how much anyone else tried to convince him, he wasn't a good person. Scorpius thought back to the first time he broke things off with Ruby. When he said what he said to her, he hadn't meant for it to come off so horribly. Yet, somehow it had. He seemed to make a habit of that with her. And no matter how much he hated to admit it to himself, the night he kissed Lily at the Black Lake, he hurt her too. It seemed that even when he actually cared about the person, he could still find a way to hurt her.
Not only had he hurt Lily the day at the Black Lake, but he was pretty sure he hurt her when she walked in the door to see Ruby McClaggen only partially dressed. Did this sort of thing ever happen to anyone else? Because it seemed as though Scorpius was the only person who could hook up with one girl and then fall for another instead.
Scorpius's parents knew the stigma that would come with being a Malfoy after the War, and in order to make things easier for their son, they raised him to be a better person. He couldn't help but feel that he had failed his parents, as there were times that he felt he was just as bad as they were. This was definitely one of those times. His parents would never call him a bad person, but their scales of what qualified were a bit different.
He wiped his face, hoping that his breakdown wouldn't be too obvious when Al came back in the room with his coffee. If this was what love felt like, Scorpius hoped that the next time he felt it was very far away, because he felt like shit. And he didn't want to feel like shit. It wasn't supposed to be this difficult. Lily was supposed to love him back and they would live happily ever after. That was how it worked in all the Muggle movies that he had watched with Albus and Bailey. In Scorpius's opinion, life really should have been more like the movies. That would certainly make everyone's lives much easier. And there would be absolutely no reason for heartbreak to exist.
