A/N: I am so sorry for the long delay. Life got in the way. I hope to finish this. Please enjoy

Giles just asked me if I love him. I do love him, but I'm not sure how I love him. Do I love him in the unconditional forever and ever kind of way or on a deeper level one that cannot be explained. I see the sadness in his eyes every moment that I delay in answering him, but right now I can't.

"Giles, I know you want an answer from me. But I can't answer it. Not right now. I will though one day when I have an answer to give you."

"I understand." I see in his eyes that he is hurt and I can't blame him. Heck even I hate me right now. I just can't lie to him and say I love him, when I'm not sure in what way I love him. I know its not a father daughter kind of love or it would make my current condition wrong on so many levels, but I do love Giles. I just hope that its as much as he loves me. I watch as he takes my hand and helps me to stand. "You should rest, its been a long day and the doctor said you need to rest as much as possible."

"OK." I turn and walk to the stairs, I don't hear his footsteps behind me, informing me that that he has chosen to stay downstairs and think. Silent tears fall down my face as I close the door to my room. For the first time in days, Giles is not there to help me fall asleep, deep down I know its my fault but it doesn't stop the pain that I am feeling from hurting any less. I fall asleep hurting for the man downstairs, knowing there is nothing I can do at this time to make him hurt less than he does.

I awake to find the sun has gone down, a glance at the clock tells me its after 7 and the roar of my stomach reminds me that I haven't eaten since this morning. I debate calling Willow to tell her that I won't be coming to Rome after all, but then decide against it. I go downstairs to find the table set and Giles finishing dinner in the kitchen. The man can cook, you have to give him that. My presence startles him and now he knows that I am awake.

"Oh, hello. Did you sleep well?"

"Quite I needed the rest you were right." I see his face light up and stop him from enjoying the moment too much. " I know, your watcher is always right, you must trust in them."

"Quite right, however I have not been your watcher for some time now."

"You will always be my watcher Giles." He smiles at that comment and I know he his no longer upset with me, however I know that he is still hurting. I hope to stop that but for now I have to take care of me so that our child has a chance to grow up in a spectacular world. "Smells good."

"I know how you like Spaghetti."

"Always."

"Good, shall we?"

"We shall." We sit down and have a lovely dinner, and for the first time in a long time, I feel that I am right where I belong.