Chapter 7

I had somehow managed to avoid making any decision on who I want for four days, despite Jenny's consistency in getting me to face my actions head on and take whatever consequences I get. I could tell she was annoyed with me. And it wasn't because Damon's her brother. She doesn't even like him. If I would even mention going on a date with Edward, or spend the night at Damon's house she would go off into some rant about how leaving this any longer is only going to make things worse. I knew she was right, but what she didn't understand was that it doesn't make it any easier for me to decide.

It was a Friday evening and things were as awkward as ever in our dorm room. We would pass each other by like we didn't see each other, make coffee just for ourselves, and sometimes, when she was extra moody, she'd turn the lights off when I'm doing work on my laptop. I was fed up with living my life like this and decided the best thing to do was just to talk to her about it. Like young mature adults.

"Stop it."

"What?" She asked with a raised eyebrow. I'm not sure if it was my choice of words, or the fact we were actually speaking that made her look so surprised.

"Can we please stop ignoring each other?" I pleaded. "It's driving me insane."

She looked up at for a moment with a frown and then sat her book down beside her on the bed throwing her legs over the side. "I was trying to prove a point."

"I know." I paused, thinking of what I could say to explain myself without it coming off as selfish. "I just...I want to do all the things you want me to do. I want to choose one of them; I just don't know how to go about it."

There was a moment of silence as Jenny thought about what wild idea she could throw at me now. Over the past four days she'd managed to come up with coin toss, picking with a blind fold on and moving to Canada. None of which seemed reasonable to me. I wanted something simple, and easy. But it had to be plausible.

"Pro's and con's list."

And that was it. Jenny was now sat at the laptop with a word document opened and the names of the men in question plastered across the top of the page. I was pacing round the room, scratching my head whilst trying to think of everything I like and dislike about Damon and Edward.

"Can the first con for Damon be that he's my step brother and it's gross?" Jenny asked. I wasn't sure if she was being serious, or if she was trying to make this a light hearted game.

"No." I heard her sigh as she pressed the delete key, removing what she had already written in the column 'cons' under Damon's name. "But you can write that he doesn't want a relationship. Ever."

I frowned just saying it out loud. No matter how many con's Edward had, the one lacking commitment on Damon's side was always going to hold me back. "There's no spark's with Edward." I said quietly, almost embarrassed. Surely if there were no sparks I shouldn't even contemplate being with him. Maybe I shouldn't be with either of them.

"Damon makes me have a mini heart attack every time I see him."

"Is that a pro or con?" She asked, turning round to look at me. I tilted my head at her in frustration. Was she trying to make this difficult or did it just come naturally for her? She turned back to the laptop and unwillingly typed. "According to you heart attacks are a pro."

"Edward's relationship material." I said, ignoring her completely.

"If you continue to pick one of each this is going to continue being pointless." Jenny exclaimed whilst still typing. I heard her sigh and it made me stop pacing around the room. I walked towards her and towered over her. She looked up at me and frowned. "You need to pick out the things that really stand out to you."

"I am." I argued.

She decided not to push me any further, and began to ask my multiple questions. "Who pisses you off the most?"

"Damon."

"Who do you feel the least safe with?" She continued.

"Damon." I repeated.

"Who do you think will break your heart?"

"Damon." I said with a sigh, seeing where she was going with this. I sat on my bed and lowered my head into my hands. I couldn't help but feel this was making everything worse. Pointing out everything you hate in someone only scares you away. What good does that do?

"Who do you have the least in common with?" It was never ending. It was like she had a big book of questions to make you hate someone.

"Damon." I repeated.

"Who do you want to be with?"

"Damon." My eyes snapped open and I jumped off the bed. How did she do that? I didn't even realise I had said it. I wasn't thinking, I thought it was going to be another negative question. She tricked me! "I didn't mean that. I wasn't...I didn't...oh fuck sakes."

"It looked like you have your answer then." She smiled at me, closing the document on the laptop.

When did she get so sneaky?

"No, I don't. That last question didn't mean anything." I told her, lying through my teeth. I knew right from the beginning that if it wasn't Damon who won, I was going to be really upset. It was only when I sat it out loud that it became real. "I only said it 'cause-"

"Because you want him."

"No!" I shouted.

"What's the big deal? You got what you wanted." She asked me. Clearly she had no idea what I wanted because if she did, I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place. "Damon won."

My stomach turned at the thought of this being a competition. "You tricked me!" I shouted, not knowing what else to say. I knew she was right. "You made me answer all those negative questions and then surprised me with a positive one. Damon's name just slipped out because I'd been saying it so much."

I was nodding so vigorously that it was apparent I was trying to convince myself. I grabbed my bag off the bedroom floor, throwing my purse into it and heading for the door.

"Where are you going?" She asked as I made my way out of the dorm room.

"To make my choice." I shouted, closing the door behind me. I pulled out my phone, typing a quick message to meet me at the bar. I scrolled down, click Edward's name and hit send.

When I arrived at the bar it was relatively empty. It was only 6 o'clock and the sun was still splitting the sky. I sat down on the bar stool and rest my head against the counter in front of me. I could feel a pair of eyes ogling me from my left. I pulled my phone out of my pocket as a distraction. I had a missed call from Jenny and a text telling me that I was making the wrong choice.

I scoffed and slammed it down on the table earning a few looks from numerous people. My phone vibrated to life signalling that someone was calling me.

"Hello?" I asked in an angry voice.

"Hey, babe." Edward said. I didn't like the word babe but I figured right now would not be the time to tell him that. "I'm going to be a little late; you haven't left yet have you? I'll be there in an hour."

An hour? I was supposed to sit here and wallow in self pity for an hour. Great, I thought. Maybe it's what I needed. Maybe I needed alone time with my thoughts. All I've done in the past four days is worry about everyone else, and what they think and feel. I could use this time to think about what I want, and what I need.

"That's fine. I hadn't left yet anyways." I lied, looking at my surroundings. "I'll see you in an hour." I hung up quickly and slipped my phone into my pocket. I requested to the bartender that he give me the strongest thing on offer.

I took a gulp of my drink, leaving my glass half empty when I heard a voice over me. "Rough day?" It was Damon. I looked up at him with a scowl on my face as he smiled down, sliding in to the seat beside me. "What's wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it." I turned my gaze from him to the table. I couldn't tell him that the majority of my problems were him, and my feelings for him. And I couldn't tell him about Edward because then he'd find out I was seeing him behind his back. It was just one major mind fuck.

"Okay." He said, zipping on the beer that just landed in front of me.

That's it? I thought. You're not going to fight with me?

"What are you doing here?" I asked glaring at him. He looked up at me and ran his hand through his hair once before placing it around his beer again.

"This is my hang out." He paused and then smirked. "Plus, I've got a hot date."

I felt my insides drop and my stomach twisted into a giant knot. I looked away from him to avoid any eye contact. I knew he was going to date other people, but I didn't expect him to be so blunt about it. And I most certainly did not want to talk to him about it.

"Well, I'm meeting someone too." I snapped back at him. I couldn't tell him that person was Edward. That would just make things worse.

"Really?" He was biting onto his bottom lip and his eyes were dark. I thought for a second that he looked hurt, but then his lip quivered up into a half smile. What would he have to feel hurt about?

"Yes." I said with a nod. "He'll be here in less than an hour."

He nodded and continued peeling of the paper on his bottle. I wondered if that was his nervous habit. I didn't realise how long I was staring at his hands until I looked up to see him glaring at me.

I coughed awkwardly and shifted in my seat. "Where's your date then?" Who would be crazy enough to stand him up? Or even turn up late? She had no idea what she was missing out on. He was grinning at me like a crazy person. I raised my eyebrow at him and he just continued to smile. "What are you smiling at?"

He burst out into laughter and took one of my hands in his, giving it a light squeeze. "I was talking about you."

What? "What?"

"You were the hot date I was referring too." He smiled at my obviousness. I smiled back and rubbed my forehead in confusion. "Jenny called me and said you wanted to meet me here."

Of course she did. Because she just couldn't keep her nose out of anything. She wouldn't let me handle this situation the way I want to. She just has to interfere because her ideas are always so much better.

"She did, huh?" I asked.

"Hence my confusion when you said you were meeting someone." He told me. Oh, so he wasn't hurt, just confused. "Unless that someone was supposed to be me."

I took my hand out of his and downed the rest of alcohol left in my glass. "Not quite." I said with a smile.

He nodded, tracing his hand up my thigh and under my dress. "How about you ditch the loser and come back with me?" His hand was rubbing circled on my inner thigh and I could feel the tingles spark up my entire body.

"I have to tell you something." He nodded for me to continue. I looked down at his hand which was now on the outside of my dress, still placed on my thigh. I was going to tell him about Edward. I knew that I had too. "It's about Edward."

"What about me?" I felt a strong arm placed round my shoulder and a kiss to the side of my head. My eyes widened and I watched Damon's expression turn from tender to shock to hurt. And I was 100% sure that he was actually hurt this time. "You didn't tell me Damon was coming." Edward whispered into my ear.

I opened my mouth to speak but I was quickly cut off.

"I invited myself. I literally just came over to say hello." Damon said, lifting his gaze from me to his friend. I frowned at myself and lowered my head in disappointment. "I'll leave you two alone."

"No, don't be silly." Edward said, sitting beside me. "You can join us."

I didn't know what Edward was playing at but I know he didn't trust Damon. Not after everything that happened. He should be telling him to back off, but instead of was inviting him to spend more time with me.

Maybe it was a test.

Damon nodded and suggested we sit at one of the tables, which we did. Edward pulled me closely in to him and I could feel Damon's eyes burning into me. I don't know if it was because he was jealous or if he was angry that I had been lying to him. It was probably both.

Edward was whispering something into my ear, but I wasn't listening. I was looking at Damon who had reverted his gaze to the bar. It soon met with mine again and I mouthed 'I'm sorry' to which he decided to speak up.

"I thought you two broke up."

Oh fuck. My heart raced, wondering where he was going with this. Damon was dangerous enough as it is, but a Damon who had been hurt could only be ten times worse. I narrowed my eyes at him but he ignored me and looked at Edward.

"What?" Edward asked, confused.

"Lauren told me you two had a fight when she was at my Halloween party." He was lying, yet. But he was digging a hole for me that would be very difficult to get out of.

Edward looked down at me, his arm loosening from around my waist. "We got into a fight, yes. But we didn't break up." He was looking at me for approval and I nodded. "We had great make up sex the next day."

I swallowed nervously, looking at Damon whose face was now glimmering with a tinge of red. He was angry. In fact, he looked absolutely furious and I couldn't even say anything to make him calm down.

"Better than the sex we had at my party?"

"Damon." I said. It wasn't stern or aggressive, and I wasn't telling him off. I just wanted to know that I was sorry and that I still needed to talk to him. He looked at me for a moment before looking back at Edward.

Edward shifted slightly. I was terrified that Damon just made my decision for me. "I told Lauren to confront her feelings for you. If it took sex to lead her back to me then I don't care." He looked down at me. I didn't look back. I wasn't looking at either of them for fear of what they both were going to say. "I know what you're doing here Damon and for the sake of our friendship I think we should stop. She's just a girl."

Ouch. Be more blunt there Edward.

Damon let out a small laugh and slapped his hand down on his thigh. "It led her back to you, did it? Then how come I've fucked her every night this week." He looked over at me with a smirk.

I knew everything was over now. The secret I had been keeping was out and there was nothing I could do about it. It was out of my control. I looked up at Edward who was staring at me in disgust. His hand was now completely off me and he stood up making his way towards the door.

"Edward, wait!" I stalked after him. "Let me explain." He stopped and turned around to face me. I opened my mouth to speak and nothing came out. I heard him scoff as he pushed his way through the door and it slammed shut.

I could feel a body behind me and I knew who it was. I had hoped he was done torturing me. But part of me wanted more because I knew I deserved it. I turned round and looked up at him, shrugging my shoulders.

"I was going to tell you before he turned up." I said looking at my feet. "If that counts for anything."

"It doesn't."

I nodded and looked up at him again. "I was going to make a decision on who I wanted. I was-"

"I told you to pick Edward. You told me you were going to break up with him for you. You didn't have to lie. I would have understood." He said in a whisper. I felt my eyes fill up. He was being so understanding and I knew everything he was saying was right. He would have let me go because he loved his best friend, and he wouldn't want to hurt him. But I made him hurt him.

"I was going to break up with him." I looked up at him and he was expressionless. "I felt bad because he was telling me how much he liked me. I didn't want to hurt him." He nodded and pushed his hands into his pockets, letting out a sigh.

"I'm sorry." I said softly. I felt his body brush past me and I turned round to watch him walk out the door, leaving me standing in the bar on me own.

I literally ran home. I took a moment to compose my thoughts before bursting out of the bar and sprinting up the street past a crowd of people looking at me. I was like this until the second I reached my dorm room. I knocked on the door, completely out of breath with tears running down my face. I wiped them away with the bottom of my cardigan, staining it with my worn out mascara.

The door opened and Jenny was standing in front of me with a puzzled look on her face. I frowned at her and let out a sob I didn't realise I had been holding in. And then her arms were around me, pulling me into her embrace and squeezing me as tight as she could. I rested my head against her shoulder and cried out into it. She closed the door behind us and continued holding onto me.

"They hate me." I said in between sobs. "They both hate me."

"Give them time." She said whilst rubbing the back of my head gently. "They'll forgive you in time. I promise."

"And if they don't?" I pulled myself off her, looking up through my eyes which were now like a panda's because of the running make-up. I didn't know why I was crying this bad. I never let things get to me like this. Especially men.

"Then it's their lose." She said with a kiss to my forehead. I collapsed on top of my bed, clinging onto my pillow. I've really screwed up my relationships with the two guys I've got along with since leaving Ohio. "How about I put on Troy and you can stare at a very naked Eric Bana?"

I laughed at how she instantly knew what to say. And how she knew about my crush on Eric Bana.

"That would be nice."

She nodded and made her way over to the TV, switching the movie on and settling beside me on the bed. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and contemplated texting them, or at least one of them. I needed to talk to them, and I needed to make it right.

"They'll call you when the time's right." Jenny said, not taking her eyes off the movie. "Now put your phone away or do I have to confiscate it missy?"

I pushed it back into my pocket and held my hands together to avoid them wandering. I looked over at my roommate and smiled. "Thanks for this." I was more grateful than I could begin to describe. As much as she infuriated me, I don't know what I'd do without her.

She meekly nodded, not taking her eyes off the movie. Not even once.

I woke up the next morning feeling like I had slept 3 hours. I looked over at the clock with one eye opened slightly. It was 8am, and Jenny was still lying beside me, snoring as loudly as ever. The television was still lit up and the DVD menu was playing across the screen. I pushed myself of the bed and headed towards the bathroom.

I was a sight for sore eyes. My make up was a disaster, my eyes were still blotchy from the crying and my clothes were all over the place. I pealed my clothes off and turned the shower on, letting it wash over me. And before I knew it, I was crying again.

Ugh, pull yourself together girl.

I jumped out of the shower, dried myself quickly and got dressed into a fresh set of clothes. When I went back into the bedroom, I couldn't help but laugh at Jenny's position in the bed. I walked over to her, and pulled the covers over her, so she looked more comfortable. I made my way to the door when I heard her grunting, awakening from her sleep.

"What's going on?" She asked.

"Shh, go back to sleep."

She rose in the bed, sitting up straight and rubbing her forehead slightly to wake herself up. "Where are you going?"

I sighed and closed the door again. I was hoping to do this myself, so I could save myself the embarrassed if it all failed. "I'm going to see Edward." I said honestly. Her eyes lit up in confusion. She opened her mouth to protest but I cut her off before I could give her the chance. "He knows I'm coming. I text him last night during the movie when you drifted off."

"Sneaky." She smiled. "Good luck."

"I'll need it." I'll need it so much.

I stood outside Edward's dorm room for about 15 minutes before finally deciding to give it a light knock. It was still early, and I thought he'd maybe still be in bed. But he wasn't. And he answered the door, immediately stepping aside to let me in as if he knew it was going to be me standing there.

I walked past him in the same fashion I did five days ago. The room was filled with the same awkward tension, except that this time it was intensified. I could literally feel the silence burning into me and I knew that this wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation, given the way that Edward had stormed out of the bar last night.

Edward wasn't even looking at me; in fact he just sat down on the bed looking at the floor, leaving it up to me to make the conversation.

"Thanks for agreeing to talk to me." I said quietly, whilst fidgeting with my hands.

He nodded in response, not taking his gaze of the floor. I took a deep breath and made my way over to him, sitting beside him. He tensed up at the proximity but tried his best to play it cool.

I could see straight through it though.

We sat in silence for a few moments longer before I decided that it wasn't getting us anywhere. If I wanted to fix things I was going to need to speak up, or I could destroy our relationship forever. And I really wanted to be friends with him. Especially since I sit next to him in class.

"Can I explain everything?"

"What is there to explain? I got to jist of everything last night." He said, still not lifting his gaze.

"I didn't want to lie to you. It just happened. And I know that's no excuse and I feel so horrible for going behind both your backs. But I'm mostly sorry for coming between your friendship." I was going to continue but I was cut off.

"Me and Damon are fine." He said in a harsh tone, almost defensive.

I ignored his comment. "I wasn't intending on dating you both at the same time." And that's when he looked up. He wasn't looking at me directly, but he was looking at the poster of Star Wars on his wall. "Technically, I wasn't dating Damon but...you know."

He grunted and looked back down.

Note to self: Don't talk about sex with Damon in any way shape or form with the ex.

"I'm going to be honest with you. Painfully honest." I said glaring at him. "I may say some things you won't want to hear." He nodded and I took that as a cue that it was okay.

"When I came to your house the other day I intended on ending our relationship." And he looked directly at me. My stomach did a little flip and then settled down again when he looked away. He was trying to hide his hurt, and he wasn't doing a very good job of it. "I was going to tell you that you were right. I did have feelings for Damon and I wasn't enjoying our relationship."

He stood up off the bed and walked over to his window, holding onto the frame and stared out. He closed his eyes before opening them once he had relaxed and he made his way back over to the bed. He didn't sit, but he did look at me.

"Continue." He commanded.

I felt like I was a convict and he was a prison guard. That could make for one kinky porno.

"I didn't get to tell you how I felt because you started speaking. About how you felt for me." I said and he closed his eyes as he remembered back to the evening. "I felt so horrible for what I had done and I didn't want to hurt you. I wasn't in any frame of mind to make a decision so I just said yes."

He opened his eyes again and looked down at me with a face that told me he was having a train of thought. "Then why did you have sex with me?"

"I didn't think it'd make a difference." Since when did men care about sex without feelings? He should come with his own handbook. "I figured it would help me make my mind up on what I should do."

"And it didn't?" I shook my head.

"Let me ask you one thing." He said as he towered over me, with his hands on his hips. "Why did Damon think we had broken up?"

"I told him that I was going to break up with you."

"So you could have a sex only relationship with him?" His expression wasn't faltering. He looked as angry and hurt as he did when I walked through the door, except now his eyebrows were furrowed and he wasn't being silent.

"I said that I was breaking up with you for myself." I paused. "He made it clear that he didn't want me to leave you so I could be with him. He's not at fault."

He was staring at me fiercely and I felt so intimidated that I wanted to run away. It was like I was on Judge Judy and it felt like I had 100 eyes on me. But in reality it was only me and Edward, and that was just as frightening.

"You have romantic feelings for him?"

I lowered my head and frowned. "Yes." I wanted to jump and declare that I was sorry and that I didn't know until the party. But I didn't see how it would make any difference, so I just stayed silent.

"He won't reciprocate them." He told me. I glared up at him. Did he think I didn't know that? Did he think I was that naive and Damon had tricked me into being with him because I had some false hope of us being together? "Not now. And not ever. It's not in him."

"I'm aware of that." Painfully aware.

"I don't think you are. I think you believe you can convince him to fall for you. I think you believe having sex with him is the way to his heart." He said, reading my mind again. "I've known Damon my whole life. He doesn't commit and he gets bored easily. You can try as hard as you like but it won't work."

I stood up off his bed, and made my way past him. I wasn't here for a lecture; I was here to explain myself. I didn't have to listen to this.

"I'm trying to be honest with you. I'm not doing it to hurt you."

Funny away of going about it, I thought. "Why not? Don't you want to hurt me like I hurt you? Get your revenge?" I said as my voice choked.

"I'm not interesting in hurting you." He said softly, walking towards me. "I'm just warning you, because despite your feelings I actually do care about you. I love Damon, but he is bad news."

"I'm not looking for his hand in marriage." I scoffed.

Edward narrowed his eyes, studying me for a moment. "If you prove me wrong, I'll admit that I was wrong about him."

"And if I don't?"

"Then I'll be here when he breaks your heart."

I couldn't help but let my heart quiver at his sincerity. He was supposed to be mad at me, but he was offering me his shoulder when I needed it. I nodded at him and headed out of his dorm room, letting the door close behind me. As appealing as his comfort sounds, I was going to prove him wrong.

I knocked on Damon's door confidently. He had been the friendlier of the two last night. He was more understanding, and although he left me in the bar by myself, I had a feeling he was going to be more forgiving. There was no response so I knocked again, adding another tap for affect.

Just as I was about to give up, I heard the slot of his door being unlocked and the door opened slightly with a creek. Damon's head popped out the side. I must have woke him up because his eyes were dark and his hair was scruffy on his head. He rubbed his eyes and mumbled my name when he seen me.

"Can we talk?" I asked, urgent to get straight to the point. I didn't want minutes of awkward silence like I had with Edward.

"About what?" He asked with a croaky voice.

The weather, I thought. What the hell do you think I want to talk about?

"Us." I said simply, not wanting to beat around the bush.

"Us?" He questioned as if it was some unknown species. I nodded and he let out a sigh, stepping out in the hallway, closing the doorway behind him. This wasn't a corridor kind of conversation but I wasn't in the mood to argue. "What about us?"

"I'm sorry for lying to you."

"We spoke about this at the bar. I've forgiven you." He told me. I don't remember him ever telling me that I was forgiven but I couldn't help but smile knowing that he wasn't angry with me, because it made this whole confession a lot easier. "Is there anything else you'd like to say?"

I took a deep breath before I began to speak. "I lied to you."

"I know, Lau-"

"I lied to you about my feelings for you." I interrupted. His mouth hung open for a second before he closed it tightly. "I lied to everyone about my feelings for you. Even myself. I don't just want you for sex, Damon. I was settling because I know that you're never going to commit."

He ran his hand over his hair and took a step back, looking frustrated. I don't know if he was frustrated with me, or himself. "But I don't think that's true. I think you are able to commit, but you're just too scared."

"Lauren." It sounded like a warning. Like he was telling me not to continue for my own good, but I ignored him.

"I want to be with you." I paused before I finished. "And I think you do to. Or you wouldn't have been so angry yesterday."

He didn't say anything. He just stared at me with a tight jaw and eyes which were flaming with frustration. I wanted patiently for him to respond but he kept silent. "I have a girl in my bed."

"What?" My stomach dropped. Why is he telling me this?

"That's why we're standing outside." He ran his hands through his hair again, but this time he gripped onto his locks roughly, tugging at them. "That's why I could never be in a relationship with you."

"Because of the girl in your bed?"

"Because of the girls in my bed. There is always going to be girls in my bed." He emphasised. I looked at the ground and frowned, making him shift forwards and closer to me. "I told you this from the beginning."

"I know." I said so quietly that it was a wonder he even heard me respond.

"I'm not relationship material."

I know, I felt like saying again. It was on the con's list.

"How would you know if you've never tried?" I tested him. I wasn't willing to go down without a fight. I don't care if it came across needy and desperate, but if I didn't knock some sense into him now then no one ever would. "You could be."

"I think I know myself better than you do, Lauren."

"Answer this then." I said, throwing my hands into the air. He nodded, like he was ready for whatever question I was going to tackle him with, like he'd heard it all before. Maybe he had. Maybe he'd been in this situation with girls before. "After we slept together, if it was just about sex, why didn't you leave me alone?"

"I like to have a round two sometimes." He said defensively. He wasn't willing to let his guard down, so he made everything in to a joke. Even when it hurt people.

"I think we had more than two rounds." If he wanted to be a smart ass then so would I. I played a lot better game than he did. He smiled at me and continued moving closer, to which I stepped back until I was leaning against the wall.

"I wasn't counting." He smirked. "I guess I made an exception for you."

"You have feelings for me." I spat out at him. He didn't move, and his gaze didn't shift of me. He stood still, just staring. "I know you do."

"I don't."

Fuck it. I'll just have to prove him wrong.

I tugged him forward by his bare chest, pulling at his neck, until his lips locked with mine. It was quick and I could tell he was surprised by his response. He soon relaxed into it and placed his hands at either side of the wall, pushing his hips into mine. My hands were in his already messy hair, trying to get him as close as possible. I danced my tongue over his bottom lip when he pulled apart from me, glaring down as he caught his breath.

He turned away from me and walked towards the door, before turning back again. "That's sex. Not feelings."

"You're wrong." I was really getting more desperate every time I spoke. I was mentally telling myself to shut up but I just wouldn't stop talking. It all kept spilling out. "Pussy."

Oh shit.

"I was trying to be nice to you but I guess that doesn't work." His face was flushed with anger again; similar to how it looked last night. "I don't have feelings for you, and I never will."

He opened his door, making his way inside, but stopped to give one last remark. "If you ever want to fuck stop by, but if not please stay away." And he closed the door behind him.

I was stood in the hall way absolutely heartbroken. All my worries were right. Everything I had thought from the beginning was true. I was just another fuck, another girl in his bed. That was all I was ever going to be to him. People had tried to warn me. Edward told me what to expect from him, yet I still came to his apartment and literally got down on my knees in order to convince him.

I'd made a full out of myself and for nothing. I'd ruined my relationship with Edward and for nothing. I was back to where I was in day one. I didn't have either of them, and all because I couldn't take no for an answer.

And yet, somehow, I still wanted to go into his apartment and tell him that I was fine with sex only. That is not normal. How did I get to this point? And what was I supposed to do now?

I don't own anyone apart from Lauren. I literally own her lalalala :)) ps i'm not a big fan of this chapter.