"Where could he have gone, un?" Deidara asked at the breakfast table. Everyone was crowded into the kitchen, trying to figure out what had happened to the shark, with little result.
"Is it possible that he just decided to crash at a friend's place?" Kakuzu asked.
"The bastard doesn't have any friends besides us," Hidan pointed out. "That's why he got drafted into this hellhole in the first place, right?"
"Right," Pein confirmed.
"Um, maybe he…well, he could have…" Konan looked to Itachi, unable to finish her sentence.
"The Oto got him." Everyone turned to shoot glares at Zetsu. "What?! Everyone's thinking it."
"He's right," Itachi quietly replied, resting his head on the table.
All anger in the room evaporated at the sound of the Uchiha's voice. The weasel hadn't slept at all last night, and he didn't look too good this morning. "Itachi…" Konan began, sitting beside the weasel. "It'll be ok."
"You can't promise that," the Uchiha growled.
"What should we do now?" Kakuzu asked.
"…"
"Pein?" Sasori asked.
"Well…"
"All we can do is just go to school and hope for the best," Konan said.
"At least someone around here has a plan," Zetsu growled.
-m-
"Pein, may I see you in my office?" the auburn haired man gave the principal a funny look but nodded, following the blonde woman to her office.
He sat across from her, waiting for the woman to sit before he began. "What is it?"
"Pein, is Itachi feeling alright?"
"Why do you ask?" he questioned guardedly.
"I've noticed that over the last few days that he's been…out of it, to put it mildly. And on that note, where is Kisame?"
"Ms. Tsunade, Kisame has been bedridden for the last few days," Pein lied. "Itachi's been visiting him, and I guess he's coming down with an illness as well."
"Pein, that's a load. But until you feel like telling me what's really happened, I'll buy it." Wordlessly, the Akatsuki leader rose to his feet and exited the office, leaving Tsunade alone with her thoughts.
The woman sighed and leaned back in her chair, staring at the ceiling. "What is going on in my school?"
-m-
"Itachi?" Tobi poked his head into the weasel's room. "Itachi, be a good boy and get up for school."
"…"
Tobi shut the door and walked downstairs, making the other members stare at him. "Well?" Hidan asked.
"Itachi won't get up," Tobi said, shrugging.
"Great. Just great," Pein muttered.
"Maybe we should just let him stay home from school today," Konan suggested. "It's not like he's actually going to do anything if we make him go, you know."
"But that's another win for Oto, un!" Deidara protested.
"Brat, she's right," Sasori said.
"Don't call me a brat, un," Deidara whispered.
"Calm down," Pein ordered. "The last thing we need right now is another problem."
"Fine un. But I'm sitting in the back today!"
"Finally, some leg room!" Konan cheered.
"You're sitting on the Jashin-damned floor though," Hidan said, climbing in and sitting in Kisame's seat.
"This feels sacrilegious," Zetsu muttered. "Tell me about it."
-m-
"Hey, pagan."
Hidan turned around to see Sakon and Ukon grinning at him. "What the hell do you want?"
"Just checking to see how you Akatsuki trash are holding up without one of your men."
"You assholes admitting to taking Kisame then?" Hidan asked.
"Now why would we do a thing like that?" Sakon asked.
"I notice your little weasel friend is gone too," Ukon said. "How pathetic."
"What?" Hidan asked, gritting his teeth.
"I'll bet the guy couldn't even get out of bed without his boyfriend around," Sakon said.
"He probably couldn't get out of bed even when his boyfriend was around," Ukon added, smirking.
"You bastards," Hidan spat out, lunging for Ukon's throat. In only moments all three of them were involved in a brawl in the middle of the hall.
-m-
"Pein, what the hell is going on with the Akatsuki?!" Tsunade bellowed.
"Miss Tsunade, I've already told you, I have no affiliation with Akatsuki."
"Is one of your organization's requirements to suck at lying?! Look, first Kisame vanishes, then Itachi disappears, and now Hidan gets into a fight! You're lucky I'm only suspending him, and not something worse!"
"Thank you for your kindness," Pein said. "I'll see what can be done."
"You had better. Or so help me, all of you will end up expelled!"
-m-
"Ok, this emergency meeting of the Akatsuki is now under way," Pein said. All the members (save for Kisame) were assembled in the living room, trying to decide what their next move would be.
"These Oto guys are ripping us apart," Kakuzu said. "I'm seriously wondering who's next."
"Don't talk like that!" Konan ordered.
"Pein, Itachi won't come out of the emo corner," Tobi said.
"Leave him alone, Tobi," Zetsu ordered. "The poor guy's had it rough enough."
"I still don't get why the hell I got suspended," Hidan growled. "I was only protecting the fucking weasel, dammit."
"That's not a good excuse," Sasori said.
"At least he came to Itachi's defense, un."
"That's beside the point, brat."
"Quit calling me a brat, un!"
"No arguing," Zetsu said. "We have to think of a plan."
"He's right," Kakuzu said.
"But what can we do?" Sasori asked. "We're down two members, Hidan's off the field for a week, and we still don't know exactly who we're up against. To top it all off, these guys are willing to anything to win, even if it means sinking beneath our level and playing dirty."
"Tobi doesn't like the sound of that," the masked teen said, moving closer to Zetsu.
"None of us do," Konan said, rubbing her temples. "And we absolutely have to make a new plan soon, or else things are going to get ten times worse than this." All eyes fell on Pein. "What now?" she asked quietly.
"I…have absolutely no idea."
