I stared at the alarm clock on my bed side table. I hadn't slept all night; I just had way too much on my mind. All of them happened to do with Edward. So why did he suddenly want to be my friend? Was it because he wants to play me and make my life even more of a living hell, or was it because he genially wants to be my friend? I'm not taking any chances of getting my mind fucked with. Plus why would I tell the guy that pretty much caused my scars my problems? Was he hoping I would throw all the shit he had done, and said to me behind and forgive him? He probably thinks he can fucking fix me, excuse me, I can't be goddamn fixed. I'm broken past repair.
The numbers on the clock changed and my alarm started beeping. I sighed and pressed the snooze button. I did my morning routine and headed downstairs to just kill time before I had to leave. I opened the fridge and got out a carton of milk, and a box of cereal from on top of the fridge. I poured them in a bowl and sat down at the wooden table in one of the mismatched chairs. I took a bite and looked around, noticing for the first time how ridiculous this kitchen looked. The stove was outdated and the cupboards were freaking yellow. Like bright yellow. My mother had painted them yellow because she wanted to 'add a bit of sunshine' into this house when I was a toddler.
"You're going to have to pick up Alec from school today." My mother said while walking into the kitchen.
"Why can't you do it?" I asked agitated.
"I'm going out with my friends and I won't be back until later tonight." She said and smoothed out her black pencil skirt.
"Well what if I have plans?" I didn't have plans; I just wanted to see what her reaction would be.
"Oh Isabella!" She laughed. "You have plans? I doubt it. So pick up your brother after school. Oh and Isabella, you shouldn't eat the sugar cereal, it'll just make you fatter." She shook her head once and walked out of the kitchen with a granola bar and a bottle of water.
Those little comments of hers fucking stung. I never, ever let rude comments get to me. But getting one from your own mother, no matter how much you hated her and no matter how horrible she was, really fucking stung.
Dad came bounding down the stairs a few minutes later. He came into the kitchen, grabbed a brown paper bag from the fridge and quickly walked out; not even acknowledging me. I sighed and stared at my now soggy cereal. I got up and put it in the sink. The clock told me it was 7:30; I picked up my bag and rummaged through it making sure I had everything I needed. Everything other then my sketchbook was there.
Alec came running down the stairs next.
"Morning Bella!" he beamed.
"Morning. Aren't you late for the bus?" I asked. He was usually standing at the bus stop with all his friends at this time. He nodded and grabbed the brown paper bag off the counter mom had probably left him.
"Bye Bella!" He waved and ran out the door.
Huh. The house was empty for once. No one would be back until later today. Maybe I could ditch and just have a day for myself. I threw my bag onto the nearest chair and plopped down onto the sofa grabbing the remote. I flipped through the channels for a bit, and then finally stopped on a boring sitcom that was supposed to be funny. My eye lids felt like they weighed a thousand pounds. I then realized how tired I was. I closed my eyes.
When I finally opened my eyes it looked like it was early afternoon. I had a dream where I had over dosed and no one ever cared. Everyone had just gone on with their lives as if I had never existed. A sudden wave of sadness rushed over me. Oh hello there depression. I sat up on the sofa and stretched my arms out in front of me and got up. I turned the TV off and walked up the stairs and into my bedroom.
My bedroom wasn't as big as I wanted it to be. Okay, it was a fucking shoebox. There was one, old, twin bed in the middle and a dresser with missing knobs and drawers pushed off to the side. The yellow curtains had holes in them and the carpet was stained. There were books and clothes all over the floor. Maybe I should clean this up, I said to myself.
I got down on my knees and started picking up all the books I had. I had a lot. They were mostly classics. I liked books because they were an escape from reality, everything would disappear and it felt like I was in a trance when I was reading. I had managed to put all of the books into three small piles on top of the dressed. I sighed and moved onto the clothes. I picked up an old band tee shirt and saw a small white pill.
"What the hell are pills doing on my floor?" I said to myself
Remember when you tried to off yourself the other day? Right. That.
I crouched down to pick up the small tablets. I could only find four of them. I threw them in the trash in the bathroom and opened the medicine cupboard. There were a dozen or so little orange containers, with white labels on the shelves. Prescription pills. They were strong, like really strong.
There's no better time to kill yourself.
I grabbed 3 of the containers, not caring which one and headed into my room. I opened them and pulled out four pills from every container. I would no longer be a waste of space. I would no longer be that emo, psychopathic chick. I would no longer be depressed. I would no longer be a part of this earth. Everyone would grow old, and forget about me. I smiled and popped most of the pills in my mouth. I grimaced at the bitter taste and waited a couple of seconds before popping the rest in and swallowed.
I sat down on the floor my back pressed to my bed and closed my eyes. I would only be a matter of minutes before I over dosed. Minutes later I felt myself slipping, no longer able to hold onto the psychological cliff.
"BELLA!" I heard a faint yell and a bunch of frantic footsteps.
"Oh no, no, no! Bella!" A panicked voice screamed. The voice got softer and softer as time ticked.
I let go of the ridge and fell.
A/N: Hey y'all. This maybe it for poor Bella. Next chapter will be EPOV. Reviews my dear, dear readers are love. Thank you for your support! I'll be getting off winter break next Monday so I won't be posting randomly anymore. Thank you for your support! By the way I know nothing about the process of how one OD's so please don't flame me.
Forever Yours –SweetestBitch
