Mandy

I was at school. it was before lunch. The bell indicating the end of morning classes had just rang. it didn't sound like a bell it sounded like a telephone. Students having just come out of their morning classes were milling about in the long narrow crowded hall. The floor of which was made up of white and brown tiles. The hallway was cold. I was at my tall thin metal locker which I'd opened bending down putting my books on the lower of the 2 metal shelve.

"Wow you're thin," a medium sounding female voice behind me said.

I stiffened, very aware of this person behind me.

"It's ok I am too. You'll become one of us," she continued.

Evidently she thought bc I'd stiffened I was embarassed by her comment. I wasn't embassaed just self conscious. And surprised she'd mentioned my size.

I stood moving to the side so whoever it was would have room to put their stuff in the locker. If it was theirs.

One of who?" I asked.

"The wintergirls," she leaned down and forward to put her books next to mine.

as the books slid onto the shelf I watched her. She moved slowly. Her long dark brown hair formed a curtain around her head. She was thin, wearing black pants, white flats and a soft gray v neck long sleeve sweater.

"The wintergirls?" I asked.

"Yeah. Neither dead nor alive," she said, standing.

That seemed an odd name for something that was neither dead or alive given it had the word 'winter' in it. And in winter everything was dead. 'fall girl' seemed more fitting since in fall it was between summer when things were happy and festive and winter when as said. Everything was dead.

She put one small hand on her back as she looked at the things - images, magnets and quotes - on the inside of my locker door. Her eyes landed on a picture of Twiggy. I recognised her hand on her back from doing it many times myself. It meant her kidneys hurt. Which meant she needed to eat. I'd spent quite a bit of time doing that myself last yr. when I'd been anorexic. And, no one paid attention to me. Well my mom didn't anyway she was too busy w/ my younger sister kate who had cancer. she'd had it since she was 2. I wondered if they were bruised at all her kidneys. the lady i'd just met.

"Twiggy fan," she muttered.

Her eyes scanned the things on the door.

"Yeah."

Not for her personality but for her physicality back then. Twiggy. that's why I liked her. I wondered what she was doing at my locker. The lady I mean.

"I'm Lia," she said quietly, turning back around.

Her hand dropped.

She looked right in my blue eye startling me. Her eyes wee dark. I saw the sadness and depth in them.

"Mandy," I told her quickly blinking recovering from being startled.

"Oh. I just moved here and apparently, we share a locker."

that answered my question. So it was her locker. Well now it was.

"oh ok."

"Where'd you move from? Who are the winter girls? Want to have lunch? Nice to meet you," I told her.

"The northeast. Myself and whowas my best friend," lia was annoyed then quieted: "And no. and you too."

she was looking ahead.

"Oh. Was?"

"Yeah she. um. she died."

"Oh."

I wondered how. And how long ago. We walked down the hall together.

"You wanna go somewhere?" she asked looking ad me.

"Where? I mean I don't want to eat," I said.

"I know me either. My car's warm. Or. we could go outside but it's kindof cold."

and it was. Outside it was cloudy cold gray and gloomy. I'd brought a black wool coat which I had in my locker.

"Um idinno."

"Ok."

so obviously she was at least 16. I knew you had to weigh a certain amount to drive but I didn't know what that was. But she evidently weighed enough to be able to drive as thin as she was. She grew quiet. Out of the women's restroom emerged Santana and Brittany. Santana had her arm around Brittany.

'she's gonna pass out,' Santana muttered when I saw her.

'oh', i mouthed back.

I didn't understand why she told me this. We went our seperate ways.

Lia and I continued walking. She was as thin as I was, her hips the most prominent part of her body.

"Heeyyy," Amber was approaching us and smiling at us.

She was with Dianna. Amber was in a yellow dress and dianna was in black pants and over her pants s was a big chunky brown and white cardigan the kind that tied w/ a thin belt. it had brown deer on it and brown and white horizontal not quite stripes. Amber's dark hair was down. Dianna's was pulled back in a low ponytail.

I looked at them.

"Girlfriend's got nice hips," Amber looked down towards lia's hips and then back up again.

Lia smiled.

"Hi Amber. Dianna," I said.

"Hi," Dianna said.

"Wanna have lunch with us?" Amber asked.

Amber was friendlier and warmer than dianna.

"No," I replied looking at ember.

"Oh. Ok."

"Oh. Ok."

"You don't have to eat. You could just. you know. sit," Dianna said.

"Dianna. That's like. the worst thing you can say," I said looking at her.

"yeah and?"

But clearly, she didn't care.

"so you don't care," I said piecing it together.

since lia was already thin I knew a comment like that might make her think she needed to become thinner. and although we'd only just met there was a part of me that cared about her.

"No I don't care I thought you knew that."

"And cmon be nice."

"Why?"

it didn't make sense why dianna was asking this since being an intelligent person she would've been able to figure it out herself.

"Cause she's new. And we've only jut met. And I want this to be a good experience for her."

And something happened I thought. Well I knew what'd happened but I didn't know the details. It also didn't make sense for me to be answering dianna's question when she would've already known the answer herself. I was slightly annoyed by this. This reminded me of ashley's cousin annabelle who was often annoyed by such things.

"Yeah well I gave up my. um…..shouldn't someone be nice to me?" dianna said her voice cracking on the verge of tears.

I somewhat knew why she was close to crying but not all of it. I knew she'd had a baby last yr. but not what had come of that.

"dianna cmon let's go have some lunch," amber told her leading he away.

She came closer to dianna as she said this put her arm around her.

Dianna had never been all that nice to me. Even when she'd been over at the house for my sister ashley's sleepovers last yr. she wasn't nice to me. So I wasn't too surprised.

Lia said nothing. I sensed her discomfort.

"Sorry about that," I was obligated to apologise: "dianna's not always the nicest person."

We walked farther down the hall.

"She's right you know. Amber," I stated.

Lia looked at me; "the...?"

I knew she wanted to be nice.

I smiled at this at her: "yes the heavyset one."

"About?"

"You do have nice hips. Really. nice hips. actually."

She smiled at her shoes: "yay I accomplished something today. She'd be so. Um. Proud."

She was all excited. I wondered who she meant. she looked up again.

"Are you checking me out?" lia blatantly asked me looking at me.

She seemed excited by the prospect.

"Um no I wasn't I just. I like hips," I said.

I was surprised by how forward she'd been.

"Oh so you do go both sides."

"Let's just say I'm good w/ playing on either side of the tennis net."

"Oh ok this could be interesting."

"I have a boyfriend though. Sorry."

"Oh. Damnit."

we resumed looking forward.

Rachel came out of the bathroom and walked quickly up to us. She was in a white sleeveless dress and flats. Her dark hair was down.

"You guys," she said.

"Yes?" I returned looking at her.

"Mr. Schue needs to talk to us."

"Now? But it's...lunch."

I was surprised. it wasn't often that mr. schue wanted to talk to us at lunch. I wondered why now instead of after school like he usually did.

"Yes now."

"Ok."

"Not like you eat," she muttered, walking past us.

So therefore to her it didn't matter what time it was. I wondered which one of us she meant. She was looking a little thinner these days herself.

"Hey you should talk to your girlfriend," I told her.

"Hm why?" Rachel asked turning back around.

"She seemed upset about something."

"Oh. Ok."

She went off.

"Hey did you guys see what happened to Brittany?" Puck asked, joining us looking at us.

I looked at him.

He was in a gray button down and jean. He gave off body heat which was nice since the hallway was cold.

"No what?" I asked, as we made our way to the big metal doors at the end of the hall: "When I saw them santanna informed me Brittany was going to pass out. I don't know if I'd consider that sick unless she has…" I began.

What I had lat yr which was anorexia. Puck knew what I meant. he nodded indicating this.

"yeah idinno."

We pushed the big cold metal bar in the middle of the heavy doors forward opening the doors and walked out of them. In front of us was a landing and then 2 flights of stairs. We were between the first and 2nd floors. The 3rd floor was above us and then the cafeteria which wasn't big enough to hold the entire school.

"She's gotten sick," puck told us as we made our way upstairs.

"with what?" I asked.

I turned to lia: "Brittany's in the club w/ us. The glee club. Do you sing?"

"Not…not really," she said looking at me.

"Oh. As is amber. And dianna the blonde who was w/ her. And Rachel the brunette."

"Oh."

I felt that she was still depressed over her friend which was why she didn't say more.

I wondered how you can 'not really' sing. Either you do or you don't.

"I'm puck," puck introduced turning to lia.

"Lia," she said quietly.

"Nice to meet you."

"Yeah you too."

"He's in the club too," I told her looking at her.

"Oh."

So far she'd been quiet.

"I'm not sure," puck aid looking forward.

"Oh."

We continued walking up the crowded stairs. We walked up the stairs through the doorway to the next floor down the hall and into the medium size choir room. When we got to the choir room we all sat down on the gray carpeted bleachers. Dianna, amber and Rachel were already there. Lia sat next to me. the room had a white tile floor w/ small black dots on the tiles and white walls. It was cold.

"Finally I can sit down," she said relieved.

I looked at her: "tired?"

"Yeah and a bit winded. don't you have an elevator?" she asked looking at me.

"No not that I know of."

"Oh."

I wondered why she wanted one.

I knew what it was like to be winded. I got that way myself due to my anemia which was a result of my anorexia which I'd recovered from by developing bulimia.

"Do you want water or something?" puck looked at her.

"I uh no," she replied.

"Oh. Ok. Well let me know," he smiled.

"ok I will."

"Cool. Righton."

Puck was nice to all the new girls the main reason being he was hoping to have sex w/ them.

"Puck," I said to him knowing this.

I looked at him. He looked at me.

"Hm?"

"Just. Um."

'don't. don't break her and don't. you know. We've only just met her', I mouthed.

'ok' he mouthed back.

He'd already had sex w/ me. Bc of my past we'd gotten me drunk and stoned first. I hadn't ended up pregnant. before I joined the club ashley had been the newest member who puck had also had sex w/.

We all looked up when Mr. schue entered the room. As usual he was in a white shirt and a black vest and pants. He went to the front of the room.

"Brittany, has a cold and she won't be joining us," he told us: "so we'll need someone else to fill her spot. How bout…."

He looked around and his green eyes landed on lia: "you."

I wondered what Brittany going to pass out had to do w/ her having a cold. this answered my earlier question of what Brittany's sick w/.

"Oh I um. I don't sing. In fact I'm only here by proxy. Mandy and I share a locker and so I just blindly followed her up here. I don't know anyone else here and I don't know Mandy well. Oh I'm lia by the way. Sorry," lia sounded annoyed.

She looked at mr. schue.

"Ok….hi, Mr. schue. Why don't you sing?"

"Personal."

"You know music's a great way to express…."

"No I'm fine. not. Singing. Scuse me," she said and left the room.

"Sorry about that. She's new," I said.

"mmmhmm so we gathered," amber was also annoyed.

"So she's here bc she doesn't sing? A lot of sense that makes," dianna said leaning forward to look at me.

"Well not here at the school," Rachel said, clarifying.

She looked at dianna.

"Ok anyway. Who wants to take Brittany's place? Mandy? I mean I know you can be a bit wobbly at times but…." mr. schue said looking at me.

He meant physically wobbly. He looked at me.

"um. Maybe," I said.

I looked at him.

"Ok. Well that's not a definitive answer."

"Yeah I know and you know why. Now if you'll excuse me," I was annoyed as well.

"Um. Ok."

I left going down the hall to the cold bathroom where. I heard retching. It echoed in the bathroom. And was startlingly loud in the quiet bathroom.

"Um. Lia?" I guessed.

"What do you want?"

"It's Mandy."

"Yeah I know."

"I just. wanted to be sure you're ok. I mean obviously you're not ok but um. Maybe you want some company."

"Yeah whatever."

I sat down on the cold hard brown cement floor since she didn't seem to care either way. The floor wasn't v. comfortable. She was in a stall I was in the sink area. There was a wall between the 2 rooms.

She'd been so nice when we'd first met. Yeah a bit quiet and standoffish but nice. I knew what'd changed.

"omygod," she whispered; "omygod. I know this is my fault and that this is how cassie went but omygod. It sucks. Yes I'm one of those people who create their own storms…..maybe I shouldn't've said that but. No turning back now. I don't want to go through this alone."

"Yeah I know. yeah well you're not the only one," I s aid: "I think a lot of people are like this they just won't admit it most people arent honest enough to. Do that. And you won't."

I wondered if cassie was her friend who'd left. I still didn't know a whole lot about 'the wintergirls'. this was the most I'd heard her talk since we'd met. So far i'd learned she was forward, honest and nice.

"I'm sick Mandy! Even my dr says I'm healthy which is really fukin ironic. Well it's not like I drink," she laughed dryly.

"yeah well so'm I. I'll be right back."

Sick I meant.

I stood going out into the hall. I knew part of the reason she was sick was she didn't have enough water in her. This had happened to me as well at times. So I went in search of my sister Ashley who was always prepared. If the vending machine didn't have water I knew it would have Gatorade. Which would help.

I couldn't find ashley so I went to the vending machine. When I got to the vending machine I got a big plastic bottle of red fruit punch Gatorade then brought it back to the bathroom. From inside I heard voices.

"Look I don't know you but you need to eat. Or at least drink something. Otherwise you will die. Is that what you want?" my 17 yr. old sister alexa was saying.

"Well what the hell do you think?" lia said.

"You and 2 of my sisters. I'm not leaving untill you eat. Here."

Alexa must've pulled something out of her bag.

"No," lia said.

"Yes."

I went back into the bathroom. Alexa looked at me. She was dressed like Mr. schue. She looked relieved.

"Oh good Mandy you're here. She won't eat," she informed me.

"Yeah I know. I got this," I said looking at her.

"Ok."

She left.

The bathroom was quiet again save for lia's dry heaves. I sat down. I gave us both a few mins. to get used to the quiet.

"Lia," I said after awhile.

She didn't reply so I assumed she was waiting.

"Um. I brought you some Gatorade. You need it. That way you'll have something in you to come out. Here," I rolled it towards the stall door.

It took awhile to get to her bc of the distance between us.

"I'll keep you company but I won't. Come down on you like my sister just did. For now."

"thank you. If I don't always tell you that."

I smiled: "uh huh."

I heard her breathe shakily.

I knew how much better things were when you're thirsty.

Alexa came back in. I stood.

"Why didn't you get her something to eat? I have food….Ashley has food…." she asked.

"Why do you really want my opinion on the matter? Do you really want to know why?" I was getting upset.

"Um well…"

Alexa was surprised visibly taken back. Usually the only people who replied this way to her were Ashley and Kate. She didn't quiet know how to respond.

"Now will you leave? You're not making her 1st day any easier."

"Yeah make sure she eats something."

"I will."

Alexa left.

I sat back down.

"Hey sorry about that. That was my sister alexa. Ashley's my other one they're both older."

"Yeah I figured. It's ok. And thanks. And actually it's not my 1st day I've been here for awhile," lia said.

"Oh. So you don't sing? Well I mean obviously you don't sing. But um."

"No. I did only around cassie. And ever since….well, after. I um. I way she went was horrible and I'm doin the same thing."

So that answered that question. Cassie was her friend who'd gone.

"No I get it. Kindof. Ashley's the same way she won't play piano. Her mom, uh."

"got it. This Gatorade is really good."

I smiled.

When ashley's mother passed which was yrs. ago she'd topped playing piano.

"You're probably just really thirsty. And dehydrated," I told her.

"Oh wow," she said quietly somehow surprised.

"Yeah it gets that bad."

"No I know. And stupid thing is my body wants me to live."

"Yeah but pretty soon it won't."

"Yeah I know that too."

Oh.

"Yeah but pretty soon it won't."

"Yeah I know that too."

Oh.

so my presumption was cassie had passed from it. 'it' being the eating disorder she'd had.

"Do I really have to eat?" lia asked.

"Well I won't physically make you but um…" I replied.

She should eat.

"no I know. I'm damn scared to."

"yeah. I know. I get it."

And the thing was. I did. I'd been there myself many times when relapsing lat yr. I heard lia gasp for air breaking the quiet. I knew why.

"breathe normally," I told her knowing it was her anemia.

she did.

"it's those damn stairs," lia aid.

"I know," I told her calmly.

I stayed there w/ her untill 1 when lunch ended.


At 1 I left the bathroom and went down the hall. I was walking down it when I saw Brittany a few ft. in front of me sitting against a wall. She was huddled against it. I approached her. She was in her cheerleading outfitt and red and white letterman coat.

"Brittany? Why weren't you at the meeting?" I asked her looking down at her.

"I'm….really….cold and I….don't have the….ener-" she began looking up at me.

she couldn't finish.

I knew we had to get her somewhere warmer than the school.

My next thought was dianna who'd been wearing that big sweater earlier. It looked warm and if she gave it to brittany then brittany would be warm. I saw her come out of the choir room w/ Rachel.

"Hey dianna I need to borrow your coat," I told her approaching her.

"Um no. then I'd be cold," she said looking at me.

"omygod," I said annoyed: "but atm Brittany's colder than you. Than any of us even lia."

Who was suddenly at my side.

Who was suddenly at my side.

"I'd give her my sweater but…." she began.

Then she wouldn't be wearing anything.

"No keep it," I said turning to her.

"and whoa hey what's going on here?" puck asked.

"Dianna won't give Brittany her sweater," I told him looking at him.

"Dianna. Cmon," he said looking at dianna.

"no."

"Ok since you don't want to….I'll give her mine," puck handed over his black coat.

"Thank you," I said taking it from him and bending down and putting it around Brittany: "good to know someone around here is nice."

I looked at dianna.

"mmm it's warm. And it smells good," Brittany said smiling.

She stood.

"I should hope so," puck said smiling.

They left. As they were leaving Rachel texted me; 'let me know if you need anything'.

'thank you,' I texted back.


it was nearing 6 still light out when lia, brittany puck and i'd come into my big white house. Alexa and her tall, thin 21 yr old. boyfriend tom were sitting on the white living room sofa. They looked our way when we came in.

"Has she eaten yet?" alexa asked looking at lia.

"No we just got in will you give us a minute?" I told her looking at her.

"Well she needs to and so do you."

"Yeah I know."

"Honey they just came in will you give them a minute?" tom told alexa looking at her.

"No tom I won't. I can't run this household all by myself," she said looking at him.

"and who said you had to? that's why I'm here."

"I'm the next oldest."

As the next oldest after Ashley she thought this meant when mom wasn't here she was allowed to run the household. she had a hard time accepting help from anyone and usually didn't.

"How long has it been since kate went in for her transfusion?" I asked.

"A couple hrs."

Oh.

"Oh."

"What do you want to eat?" I asked lia looking at her.

"um. Where's your kitchen?" she asked looking at me.

"Right through there."

"Ok."

She headed that way.

"how's brittany?" I asked.

"she's ok she just got really cold. Santana was excused from afternoon classes so she could stay w/ brittany in the nurse's office. The nurse said it was ok. She also said to keep brittany warm. So I. Am going to go get some blankets and stuff," puck said.

"Ok," I said looking at him.

He went upstairs to get some blanket. Luckily the heat was already on.

"Sit down have a drink," my 17 yr. old sister lily told Brittany from the sofa.

she was in a long white dress her dark hair down.

"A drink won't help," I told lily looking at her.

"no but it'll distract her."

"oh."

I remembered that when someone got really cold they should change into warm clothes. I wondered who would have something that would fit. Ashley might. I pulled out her phone and texted her this then texted puck.

Lily, much like myself and our older brother evan, was v. perceptive and knew when something was wrong. she aid what he said cause she knew being distracted would help Brittany.

Brittany made her way to the sofa and sat down.

Brittany and lily had already met.

"You doin anything tonight?" tom asked me.

"No adam might come by."

Adam's my boyfriend. We knew each other from school. We'd met last yr. he was 16 I was 15.

"Ok then we're. Going to head out."

"Ok."

They stood and left.

The reason they were at the house a lot after school was so they could look after my twin louisa, my sister rose and I. mom was often at bar and dad was either w/ his girlfriend jennifer, at the hospital or teaching an art class at the college. Dad and jennifer had met last yr. She was tom's aunt the sister of his mom sylvia who'd passed from cancer awhile ago. He had 2 younger sisters olivia and fiona.

"Good now we can have some peace," I said settling on the sofa next to lily.

"Yeah I know. You doin ok?" lily asked me looking at me.

"um. I haven't eaten much."

"Oh. Yeah me either. Rose should be back. At some point from wherever she is. I'm not sure where that is actually."

"Ok."

"Louisa of course is w/ cherie."

"Right of course."

Cherie was louisa's girlfriend.

"Hey um mandy?" lia called from the kitchen.

"Yeah?"

I looked toward the kitchen.

"Is it ok if I make some pasta?"

"Yeah that's fine."

"Ok."

"god alexa should take up drinking. You know something to take the edge off," lily said.

"Yeah I know but she won't. After Ashley and evan fell…." I said.

"Right no I know."

"Where's evan?" I asked of my 19 yr. old brother.

"w/ Rebecca."

Rebecca was his girlfriend. They lived together. He was 18. they'd met last yr. when she'd been pregnant. it had been almost a yr. since her miscarriage.

"Right. Of course. How's anna?" I asked of my youngest sister.

"Well she wasn't great today she was sick. Again. Um actually later tonight Louisa's giving her more marrow."

"Ok."

anna now had cancer was diagnosed last yr.

"I don't know that they'll take the marrow of a drunk person," I pointed out.

Louisa drank a lot.

"ooh good point. Um….well. Dad'll do it," lily told me.

As lily and I talked we didn't look at each other.

Puck came back downstairs w/ 2 big fleece blanket which he wrapped brittany in. I looked at puck.

"Here you go sweetie," he told her looking at her.

He was standing in front of her when he wrapped her in the blankets.

"Thanks."

He smiled.

"you wanted to talk to me about something?" he asked.

"um yeah kitchen."

"ok."

we went into the kitchen.

"so?..." he asked.

"um well while you were upstairs I remembered that people who are that cold should put on wam clothes."

"oh that's right..."

"yeah so I texted ashley and asked her for some."

"ok. Also brittany should probably be upstairs since heat rises and all."

"right ok."

we went back into the living room where I got my coat and put it on. I'd taken it off when I came into the house. I sat back down next to lily.

"damnit they keep those schools cold," I said.

She didn't say anything.

"Hey you want anything?" puck asked turning to go into the kitchen.

"um no not. Not right now."

"Ok."

He left.

"You want any?" lily asked looking at me and holding up a red plastic cup which I knew had alcohol in it.

"No."

"Ok."

At that moment rose came into the house. she was in dark green. Her red hair was down.

"Hey who wants dinner?" she asked looking at us.

"Well I know I'm hungry," lily said looking at her.

"Ok. Mandy you?" rose asked looking at me.

"Ok. Mandy you?" rose asked looking at me.

"Well I should so…yeah ok. A little."

"Ok."

She went in the kitchen.

"After this I'm going to see my mom," lily told me.

"Ok," I said.

Last yr. Lily found out her mom was raven dad's sister who she now lived w/. she'd moved out over the summer.

"and Hannah's coming by to have dinner and then they're going to her parents'."

"Ok."

'they' being Hannah and her friend gavin.

and last thanksgiving Hannah found out her parents were mark and lacy, dad's friends from college.

"Karen will be back at some. Point."

"Ok."

So it would just be me, lia, puck, adam, Brittany and rose in the house tonight.

"How was rehearsal?" lily asked.

"I don't know I didn't go," I replied.

"Oh. Yeah I know that's what alexa told me. She was all up in arms about it too you know her. And why? Er I mean why not?"

"Yeah I do. I was keeping lia company."

"Oh. Lia…lia…I feel like I should know who that I."

"The brunette that's in the kitchen presumably making pasta."

"Oh her. she's pretty."

"Yeah she is. I only met her today. I don't know a whole lot about her other than she apparently doesn't sing."

Hannah and gavin came into the house followed by santanna. Hannah was in a black wraparound and gavin was in a blue button down and jeans. Santanna in a black peplum dress.

"Hey I wanted to see how she's doin," santanna told me coming in.

She meant Brittany.

"Ok and hi. You're welcome to stay for dinner rose is cooking."

"Ok."

"what is she cooking?" Hannah asked looking at me.

"I'm not sure," I replied.

"Oh. We brought some if you want."

"No but alexa should have some. She won't though. Er not that she's here to have it but," I aid.

"Yeah I know."

We meant pot.

"Rose might though."

"Ok."

I filled them in on who was where telling Hannah to tell rose. They went into the kitchen and santanna went and sat by Brittany.

At that moment Rachel came in.

"Hey I wanted to see how she's doing," she said sitting on the other side of Brittany.

"Yeah so did santanna," I told her.

"Yeah so I gathered."

"Oh."

I wondered who else would stop by. I noticed that neither roe, Hannah, gavin, antanna or Rachel had taken off their coats when they'd come in.

When Ashley turned 18 which was how old she was now she'd moved into her own place which was in our brother's building. They were close. She'd been dating ben from school off and on for almost a yr. she and puck were still close. alexa, Lily, rose and Hannah were also all 17. Louisa and I were 15 and in our 1st yr of high school. Kate was 14 anna was 11 and evan was 19. dad was still w/ jennifer alexa still w/ tom I was still w/ adam. Louisa was still w/ cherie. Ben was 19 and already in college. Next yr. ashley would be going off to college. Roe and alexa would get their own place though alexa might end up moving in w/ tom.

Ashley was still working 3 jobs and had taken another one as a prostitute. She still took dance. So she still barely got any sleep. We hadn't heard from marie in ages. One day she'd just left never to return. I hoped she was ok.

Ashley along w/ most of the people in the glee club except for me and adam were in their last yr. of high school. I was 15 he was 16.

Along the way Ashley had fallen as had our brother only he wasn't stripping or prostituting. Or taking dance. Or cutting. They both along w/ smoking cigs had taken up drinking. And smoking pot. Ashley had developed an eating disorder.

Rose also drank and smoked pot. Hannah and gavin were their suppliers


in the upcoming chapters mandy finds out what happened to dianna's baby. we find out why lia wants an elevator, more about Mandy's past and Brittany's cold, the wintergirls, why Mandy's physically wobbly. Rachel talks to her girlfriend. more on the relationship between puck and Brittany and puck and mandy.

Please let me know what you thought of this chapter. thank you.