Breaking Down the Randomness Wall
Chapter 5
Of Cheese and Aliens
Disclaimer: Screw it you all know it by now
It was your average calm day at the WAL mart where characters never go home. Inside
the Underground bunker...now made out of wood instead of Dirt, Matt was staring at
his computer screen, groaning. It had been a long time since they had gotten to rest, and
after the recent concert he was in a bummed out mode. "Actually Narrator, you know
what?" Ugh what is it now? "I'm not doing this anymore." What? "YOU HEARD ME
THEY ALL KNOW WHO ASTRID AND I AM THERE IS NO NEED TO DO IT ANY
MORE!" "You don't mean! "that's right, from now on you can Call Astrid WG and me
Fanatic." ...okay then Fanatic was board, he had been in this Wal Mart for months,
with nothing else to do. He had been writing this pointless Fanfic for several months
and as of yet all it was doing was holding up space in his word documents. He sighed as
he looked over Chapter 6. The Big lipped Alligator Chapter as he called it. He stared at
the blank screen and sighed. "I need something to do, I can't even write Chapter 6, this
story has been nothing but a bother ever since 1,000 ways to get kicked out of Wal-Mart
had been taken down." HE closed the word document and sighed. Then, someone came
down the stairway. It was WG "hey wait, we are going by our real names now?" Yep.
"Well okay then" She walked up next to him. "what's the matter Fanatic, you spend
three chapters trying to cheer me up and now YOUR own in the dumps." "its this story,
it has no more purpose." "That's not, okay maybe a little, a smidgen... okay yes it is
now pointless." "There is only one thing to do right now, I declare this the finale chapter." Fanatic said. "WHAT?!" Cried WG "That is right, in five seconds we
shall go back to the plot, but as of right now this is the finale chapter of this story." "but
why?" "Do you want Darkwing Duck the Movie to be released this year?" "...okay yes
that is true." She said. Fanatic, turned back to his computer screen, and stated to type the
Finale Chapter
(The Real Plot)
It was your simi average day at Wal-Mart, except for one thing, it was Thanksgiving, the
day before Black Friday, so it was a perfect do whatever you want and get away with it
day. As such Fanatic was walking down the aisles drinking Root Beer. He toke it from
his lips, and gave a loud "BLEEEEECH!" The shelves shook ad several items fell
off them. He chuckled as he saw it. He walked towards the video games section, where
Calvin and Hobbes had set up a Wii ad were paying EVERY game that they could get
their hands on. They were currently trying (and failing) to play Call of Duty. "DIE
NAZI's DIE! Calvin yelled as he blasted them with a submachine gun. Only
to get killed by a grenade "AH DNAG IT!" He yelled not again, i always get killed at
this point!" "well maybe if you were not so trigger happy you wouldn't!" Said Hobbes.
"
OH PLEASE!" "I am not that trigger happy!" Said Calvin, who then immanently picked
up the Wii blaster, then began the process all over again. Fanatic walked to where WG
was in the toy section. "Christmas shopping WG?" He asked. "Yep, i can't decide which
is better Cars or Hot wheels?" She asked holding up a Hot wheels car and a Cars toy, "I
see no difference except for that one has eyes." WG, looked at him and then put both in
the cart. "Thanks Fanatic, and where is your seeker squad?" "Oh they went home and I
had to rename Sunstrom Firestorm.? "Why?" "Hasbro owns the name." "ah." She said.
She looked around. "You know that what we are doing is against the law right?" "its a
Fanfic remember WG?" "oh yeah." Suddenly a large BANG rang out through the store.
"what was that?" Asked WG "I don't know, let's find out." Fanatic said, as he and WG
ran towards the source of the noise. It was at the front of the store. Calvin and Hobbes
joined them in running. "THAT STUPID NOSIE RUINED MY GAME!" Shouted
Calvin. "Why are you yelling?" Asked Fanatic. "BECAUSE IT'S IN MY CONTRACT
TO YELL WHEN ANGERY!" Calvin Shouted "Wasn't that contract Null and Void in
95?" Asked WG. Calvin stopped running for a second then thought about it, blinked then
shrugged and said. "Eh i don't care." He said. They ran to the front, to see, to see, TO
SEE, TO SEE!, TO SEE!, TO SEE! A GIANT COW
MADE OF BUTTER THAT MELTED! Fanatic Faceplamed. "Stupid Narrator." He
muttered. At that, the remains of this stories fourth wall crumbled into dust, then
disintegrated and then particles disbanded into the air. In front of them was a large space
ship. It was jet black, and looked like it was a large Battleship...alien style, but not the
like the alien battleships that were in the movie battleship. A gang way, suddenly came
out of the side, and then landed right in front of them, well almost in front of them.
"YEEEOW!" Cried Fanatic, as it landed on his foot. He hopped around on his left
leg as he held his right foot, bad idea to wear sandal/flip-flops. Fanatic glared at the
narrator. "Another word like that and we go to script format. The Air Particles of the fourth wall, flew into a nuclear power plant. A door opened up and an alien stepped out. HE was... not tall, not strong, and had no arms, he was short a pudgy and looked all around like a Mashed Potato, rolled into a ball and holding a hand gun. "PEOPLE OF EARTH, SURRENDER TO YOUR NEW MASTERS!" It bellowed. Everyone starred at the alien. Well almost everyone for Fanatic was still hopping around like a deranged vegetables' character. Calvin fell over laughing. "OH MY GOSH IT LOOKS SO STUPID, IT LOOKS SO RIDCULOUS HAHAHAHAHHAH!" WG and Hobbes couldn't help it and they laughed too. Both of them falling over and laughing. The alien watched them laugh, then it growled, then, it picked up a walkie Talkie. "Bring the troops in." He said. At that Moment HUNDREDS OF ALIENS came running, i mean, walking, um, rolling, OH FORGET IT" They came out of the ship and surrounded them. WG looked p and saw the troops. Her laughing slowed and then died altogether as she stared at them. She gulped as Calvin and Hobbes continued to laugh, until she grabbed and shook them. They all looked at the aliens. Then they all raised their ray guns at them and fired. Hey all screamed and then jumped up and ran. "AFTER THEM!" The head alien yelled. And so the troops went after them. WG, Calvin and Hobbes, ran around the store screaming like maniacs while the troops ran after them, firing their guns in random directions. They ran down the down food aisle, where Hobbes slashed upon Bag upon Bag of pet food, it all rolled onto the floor, and the aliens ran into it. But they just ABSORBED the stuff, and got bigger. The group began to run faster. Next, then ran into a lawn care aisle. Calvin, grabbed some shears, turned around and then leapt upon the aliens and tried to cut them apart. You know what, they may look like rolled up Mashed potato balls with ray guns, BUT THEY ARE ROCK HARD. The shears broke into a thousand pieces as Calvin tired to cut one. He stared at the remains, then at the aliens. He gulped, grinned nervously, and then ran off. Next, they hit the DVD's WG broke out all the stuff related to twilight, As the Aliens drew near, she threw them like Shurikens at the aliens. They all pinged off of them. She gazed at them. "geez you guys are tough, that was every Twilight CD and DVD in stock! "Twilight?' The aliens all asked in unison, then looked at the disks. "AHH KEEP IT AWAY!" They yelled and ran down another aisle, THEN they continued to pursued WG and the others. Eventually (45 Minutes) they lost them in the food section where the group had found Fanatic. "WHERE THE HECK HAVE YOU BEEN!" They all shouted at him. He pointed to the large Band Aid on his foot. IT WAS HUGE, it covered half of his foot. "where did you get a BAND AID that big?" Asked Hobbes, then Fanatic showed them that it was just a bunch of little Band-Aids. "okay now that that is out of the way, we need a way to defeat these aliens." Said WG "BUT THEY ARE UNSTOPPABLE!" Calvin and Hobbes shouted at the top of their lungs. WG, Slammed her hand s over their mouths. "SHHHH do you want them to know where we are?" She asked. Both of them shook their heads No. Fanatic, racked his brain for a little bit, suddenly they heard a noise, and then they saw one of the aliens come around the corner. It stared at them.
Then, it turned around, and before it could however, Fanatic threw block of cheese at it.
It hit the alien in the back. It yelled and fell over, as the cheese apparently burned a hole
into its back and then out the front . IT collapsed in on itself and then shriveled up and
then turned into,,, a raisin. They all stared at the remains of the alien. Then Fanatic
turned back to them. "Aright everyone get ready to... THROW THE CHEESE!" Fanatic
yelled and then he held up a large triangle piece of Swiss cheese
Later
The Alien Leader, looked at his troops. "Men, at very long last, we have the means, and
the will and firepower to finally TAKE OVER THE WORLD!" "OF COURSE! All he
aliens shouted. Then, they all screamed. Cheese, was raining down everywhere all over
them. "WHAT THEY HECK!? Cried the Leader a the armies ran back into
the ship. Then Fanatic, WG and C&H leapt out from behind the counter of the jewelry
section. "THROW THE CHEEESE!" They all shouted and threw the cheese at the ship
as well the rest of the aliens. They all screamed as they shriveled up and died. The alien
leader was soon outnumbered once again. HE was backed into the ship. "LEAVE AND
NEVER RETUN! Shouted Fanatic and then he threw his cheese at him. The leader
screamed, and then ran into the ship. It's engines activated and the it crashed through the
ceiling and took off into the sky. The team cheered happily. "VICOTRY!" Shouted
Fanatic. Then sirens blared at them. They looked outside to see the Police..and Calvin's
Parents standing outside. "COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP! Called the
Sherriff, WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED!" WG looked at Fanatic. "run?" "Run." And
then they took off ruining leaving Calvin and Hobbes to the wraith of Calvin's Parents.
AS the cops raced after the two Authors Fanatic looked at the Audience one more time.
"Farewell everyone see you in the Funny Papers. And he and WG ran off into the night
THE END
Now I know what you my be wondering... why is the story ending like this and so early? Because
1. There is less than a month left in this Year
2. This story severed no purpose
3. if i continued it THE TRIALERS SHOWN IN CHAPTER 3 WOULD NEVER COME TO PASS!
So yeah, thank you all for sticking with me all this time for this story and be prepared for Transformers Animated Chasing the Sun and Darkwing Duck the Movie coming...Hopefully this December or so. GOOD NIGHT FOLKS!
