Chapter 7: Moment of Truth
Amy studied Adrian's face with curiosity and interest.
He swallowed hard, then took a deep breath. "I'm an old friend of your mother's," he said, just as he had a minute ago. I saw him working to keep his expression under control as he smiled at her. He started to say something, cut himself off, and then turned to Violet. "So," he asked her, in a kind, friendly voice. "How old are you? Seven, eight?"
"Six," she said, shyly.
"No way," Adrian said, shaking his head, in emphatic disbelief. "You're much too grown up. When is your birthday?"
"January 18th," she whispered, beaming in happiness from being called "grown up."
"Well, that explains it," Adrian said, cheerfully. "You're not six. You're almost seven." He turned to face Amy. "And you? What are you, ten?"
She shook her head. "I'm nine," she said.
"Nine?" Adrian repeated. "That's interesting. I feel like someone told me you were eight."
"No way," she said. "I turned nine in September."
I could almost see the wheels turning in Adrian's head as he counted back in time. He turned and looked at me again. I gave an almost imperceptible nod of my head, and it was Adrian's turn to look down at the ground. He took a few deep breaths while Violet and Amy examined him in silence.
"Well," Adrian said, a moment later. "Did you girls come here to see Santa?"
"It's just a myth," Violet said, confident all of a sudden. She always was when she had information to impart. "My daddy told me it's a way to take Christ out of Christmas. But my mommy says it's a nice myth. Like the Greek gods."
"Hmm," said Adrian. "I personally think Santa's a lot of fun. Did you two want to get a better look at him?" He held out his hands, signaling his willingness to pick someone up. Violet nodded, shy again, and stepped forward. Adrian picked her up and held her in the air for a moment so that she could get a good look at Santa. When he put her down, she was smiling and giggling. He turned to Amy, who sadly shook her head 'no.'
"I'm too big to pick up," she said. "My Dad says so."
"Well, let me be the judge of that," Adrian said. "I'm willing to try if you want."
She stepped forward a little hesitantly, and Adrian lifted her straight up off the ground and held her in the air for about five seconds, long enough for her to see Santa. Then he put her down and made a show of dabbing his face, as if to wipe off sweat, while she giggled. But I saw him stare down at her, wonder and disbelief writ large on his face.
"Thanks, Adrian," I said, in a voice that sounded foreign to my own ears. "I'm sure they really appreciate it." The polite phrase was so inadequate somehow, but I had no idea what I should actually be saying. He still wouldn't meet my eyes.
"Thank you," the girls said in unison.
Adrian waved off the thanks. "It was my pleasure," he said. "And now that I've had my workout for the day, I kind of want a treat. Do you girls like ice cream, by any chance?" Both of them assured him that they did. "Well, if your mother thinks it's ok, I would love to buy you each a really outrageous and unnecessarily large ice cream sundae over there." He gestured at an ice cream parlor a few stores away.
"We just ate," I said.
"But it's ice cream," Amy said. "Can we, Mom, please?"
"Please?" Violet echoed. "Pleeeeeeease?"
It was impossible to say 'no' to those faces, even if part of me wanted to run as far from Adrian as I could get. "Of course," I said. "Today is all about treats. Let's go."
The girls cheered. Then, to my surprise, each took one of Adrian's hands, just as if they'd known him all their lives, and began almost dragging him towards the ice cream parlor. He laughed and let himself be dragged, making a big deal out of how strong they were.
There was a long line at the door, but Adrian whispered something to the hostess (and, I think, slipped her a pretty big tip), and we were seated quickly. As we walked past the line of waiting families, several people wondered out loud what was so special about us that we were allowed to cut the line. As we walked two-by-two through the restaurant –Violet still with her death grip on Adrian's hand – I heard Amy laugh. "They're saying that they think Adrian is a famous actor or something," she told me, very quietly, near my ear. "Is he, Mom?"
"No," I said.
"But he is the one from the videos, right?"
"Yes," I whispered back. "But don't talk about that, ok?"
"Ok," she said, casting me a confused look. "But he doesn't know about them?"
"Not yet," I said.
We sat down at a booth, Violet sitting next to Adrian, and Amy sitting next to me. I saw Adrian's eyes turn again and again to Amy, as if he couldn't quite stop looking at her, but he kept the conversation light, asking both girls about school, friends, hobbies, and favorite movies and books. When the subject of Harry Potter came up, he surprised all of us by claiming to be a big fan of the series, and to be, in fact, a Gryffindor.
"I'm a Ravenclaw," Violet said. "So is Mommy. Amy's a Hufflepuff."
"Am not!" Amy said, indignant.
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Shh, shh," I said. "No one's a Hufflepuff."
"Dad's a Slytherin," muttered Amy, under her breath. Adrian, who'd been listening to this whole conversation with amusement, let out a little guffaw of laughter at that.
"Let's not talk about him, ok?" I said, for what felt like the hundredth time.
At that moment, a cheerful young woman in a red checkered apron approached our table. "Hi!" she enthused. "What can I get you nice folks today? Let me start with you, young lady." She leaned towards Violet, who ordered a hot fudge sundae. "And you, big sister?" the waitress said to Amy, who ordered a sundae called 'Death by Chocolate.' "And Mom? What would you like?" I shook my head, declining. I knew that there would be plenty of leftovers if I wanted them. "And what about Dad?" she asked, inclining her head to Adrian.
"He's not our dad," Violet said, immediately. "He's just our friend who lifted us up so we could see Santa."
"Oh," said the waitress, confused. She looked back and forth between Amy and Adrian a few times, and then turned her gaze back to her notepad, embarrassed. "Anyway, what would you like to order, sir?" she asked, without looking at Adrian.
"I have to keep my figure," Adrian said. "So just a coffee for me, and Sydney probably wants one too, right? Maybe a latte?"
I started to decline, but then I ordered a cappuccino. Today was about treats, after all.
The sundaes came out quickly, and each of them was about the size of a Yorkshire terrier. As the girls ate, they continued their conversation with Adrian, who encouraged them with questions and compliments. I sipped my coffee, so full of conflicting emotions I hardly knew how to feel. When the girls had eaten as much as they could, and I'd had a few bites – well, more than a few –of the ice cream they'd left behind, Adrian paid the check and pointed out a small playground built into the restaurant, suggesting that Violet and Amy play a little. They were delighted by the prospect, and ran over to go down the slides and play in the ball pit. Adrian and I followed them over and sat down on a bench to watch them play.
"Adrian," I said. "I –"
"Shh," he said, but then, to my surprise, he took my hand and held it tight. We sat in silence for a while. When he finally spoke, it was in a hushed voice, totally different from his usual jocular tone. "I... I don't want to play favorites, you know?" he said. "Only douche-bags do that, and besides, Violet is obviously completely awesome. I liked her the second I met her. But Amy..." He shook his head. "She's mine." He turned to look me in the eye. "Admit it," he said. "I want to hear you say it."
"She's yours," I said, very quietly. "Amy is your daughter." Adrian nodded to himself and turned away, but he didn't let go of my hand. A long silence followed, during which I felt my heart almost stop. He was going to say he hated me, and that he'd never forgive me. Wasn't he?
Then I heard Adrian's sharp intake of breath. I looked up to see him rubbing a few tears out of his eyes. "She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," he whispered.
"She is, isn't she?" I answered.
"She really is," he said. "There aren't words." He squeezed my hand, and I squeezed back. A few minutes went by as we watched the girls playing.
"Were you ever going to tell me about her?" Adrian asked after a while, in a ragged voice.
"I don't know," I said. "I hadn't thought that far ahead. But I swear, I... I didn't do it to hurt you. I know you must be furious with me but..." I trailed off.
"I should be angry," Adrian said. "I should be like, enraged, that you kept this secret from me for so long." He drew in a long breath, then let it out. "And I am a little angry, I can't lie. But I just can't be that angry. Meeting her... Both of them, really. Violet is like a miniature you." He gave me a smile, wiping away a few more tears. "I mean, I didn't know until now that love at first sight was really possible. But now I want to just take all three of you home with me and let that be that."
"It doesn't work that way," I whispered, though the thought of it was beautiful beyond description.
"I guess not," he said. "Just a dream I had." We were still holding hands, and he began to stroke the back of my hand with his thumb. "I really can't moralize at you too much, anyway," he added. "You were the one who carried her and gave birth. And you've certainly had it rough enough for ten years. All I've really had to face is loneliness."
"Well, you did miss out on a lot," I said. "I feel awful about it."
"Yeah," he said. "I know." We sat in silence for a little longer, until he said, "Well, I have a confession of my own."
"What's that?" I said, fearing the worst. Did he already have kids somewhere? Was he married?
"I'm not here by coincidence," he said, a little sheepishly.
"Well, duh," I said, relaxing again. "I kind of figured that. How'd you manage it?"
"Long story," he said. "You're not mad at me for sort of... stalking you like this?"
I shrugged. "I guess I should be, but... honestly, it's so nice to see you. And I don't have a leg to stand on, anger wise."
Adrian smiled at me tentatively. "Listen, can we meet up later tonight?"
"In a dream?" I asked, and he nodded. "Yes, definitely, we can," I said.
"Good," he said. "Because there's a whole lot I want to talk to you about. I can explain about how I found you today, and you can explain why you've been hiding the existence of my daughter from me for ten years." A short, cold silence fell, and then Adrian squeezed my hand again. "Sorry. Didn't mean to put it that way. But um, right now, I think I need some time to think and stuff."
"Ok," I said. "Take the time you need."
"I will," he said. "But first I want you to know that this doesn't change how I feel about you. It changes just about everything else on the planet, but not how I feel about you. I still love you like crazy. So... I'm going to have to deal." He took a deep breath, then looked over at me with a weak smile. "I can't believe I'm someone's dad," he said. "I mean, it's freaky."
"Not that freaky," I said.
"You've had ten years to get used to it," Adrian said. "I've had less than an hour." He gave me a brief, measuring look, then stood up and went over to the girls. I followed him, slightly worried about what he'd say to them.
"Hey, Amy, Violet," he said, and they stopped playing and came over to him. "I have to do something really quickly, but I want to hang out with you guys some more. Would you like that?"
"Yes, of course," Amy said.
"What do you have to do?" Violet asked, in her quiet voice.
"Just stuff," Adrian said, smiling. "But listen. I'm going to go have a word with Santa and his helpers to make sure you get a chance to visit with him, ok?" At this, the girls let out a cheer, and Adrian smiled. "And then I'm going to come back and meet you at Santa's workshop, in about half an hour."
I was surprised. He had thinking to do - for half an hour? I wondered if that would be nearly enough time for him to acclimatize himself to the existence of a nine-year-old daughter.
"Don't you let your Mom leave without me, you promise?" Adrian was telling the girls, as I tuned back into what he was saying.
"We promise," said Violet, in an intense whisper.
Amy held out her wrist. "I have a watch," she said, proudly. "What time is a half an hour away?"
"12:15," Adrian said, tapping on the "12" and "3" on her watch. "Right, Sydney? That's when we're meeting?" He grinned at me.
I obviously couldn't contradict him now. "Yes, of course," I said. Violet and Amy cheered again, said quick goodbyes to Adrian, then went back to playing.
"Give me a hug goodbye," Adrian said, and wrapped me in a fairly chaste hug.
"You sneak," I said, in his ear.
"Takes one to know one," he said, as we pulled apart. "Look, I just need a few minutes to think, and I have to do a few things. But really, go over to the Santa station in a few minutes and go straight to the front of the line. They'll be expecting you."
"Thanks," I said.
"And don't sneak off, please," he said. "I really want to hang out with all of you some more."
"I have a feeling it wouldn't do me any good to sneak away," I said.
"You're probably right," he said. "I'll see you at 12:15."
"Bye," I said. He nodded and walked away.
I watched his tall form leaving the restaurant, then sat back down for a few minutes to compose myself. Then I told the girls it was time to go. We hit the bathrooms, got our coats back on, and walked over to Santa's workshop again. We followed Adrian's instructions, and the moment we identified ourselves, we were ushered directly to Santa. I wondered if Adrian had used money, compulsion, or a combination of the two to make it happen, and then found I just didn't care when I saw how happy Violet and Amy were.
After the visit to Santa, we still had a few minutes to wait before Adrian came back, so we sat down by the mall's Christmas tree, just gazing at the bright lights. At precisely 12:15, Adrian reappeared by our bench. Both girls jumped up to give him a hug simultaneously, as if he was their very best friend and he'd been gone for weeks. He looked surprised but pleased at the affectionate gesture. "How was Santa?" he asked. Both girls began talking excitedly about how much fun they'd had and Adrian nodded, listening appreciatively. "And is it time for Christmas shopping now?" he asked.
"Yes," Violet said, gravely. "I want to buy Mommy a present."
"I do, too," Adrian said, and smiled at me. The thin edge of anger I'd sensed in him before seemed gone. Adrian's moods had always been changeable and unpredictable. This time, that seemed to be working to my advantage. He had forgiven me in less time than most people would have even had needed to simply process the basics of the situation.
"You don't have to buy me anything," I said.
"But I want to," Adrian said. "And you can't stop me, ha ha!"
"Ha ha," Violet repeated, in a whisper. I shot her a quelling look, and her eyes widened and her mouth closed. I reached over to smooth her hair and she smiled again.
"And after that? Where were you lovely ladies going to go next?" Adrian asked.
"A museum," Amy said. "I want to see the dinosaurs. I'm going to be an archeologist when I grow up."
"Paleontologist," Violet corrected.
"That's what I said," Amy said.
"You're going to the dinosaur museum?" Adrian asked. "That's my favorite museum." He looked down at the ground, pouting.
"Do you want to come with us, Mr. Adrian?" Violet asked, shyly.
"Oh, yes, please," Adrian said. "I would really like to. And just call me Adrian," he added. "Mr. Adrian sounds like I'm your substitute teacher or something."
"My Dad says it's rude to call grownups by their first name," Violet said. "Is it?"
"It depends on the grownup," Adrian said. "I don't mind it." He turned to me. "So, Sydney, is it ok if I go with you to the dinosaur museum?"
I couldn't exactly say 'no,' and anyway, I didn't really want to. "Sure," I said. "But we have to do our shopping first."
"I love shopping," Adrian said. "Let's shop. Where are you going first?"
So, we ended up going to a few stores together. Amy bought Violet a few pretty barrettes without Violet noticing, and Violet bought Amy a little statue of a unicorn while Adrian kept Amy distracted. Once that was done, Amy suggested that Adrian take them shopping without me for a little while so that they could buy me a present in secret. I found myself agreeing to the plan, and each girl grabbed one of Adrian's hands and dragged him off. He turned around to look at me, clearly bemused by the whole thing, but not unpleasantly so.
I shopped on my own for about twenty minutes, keeping my eye on the bench where we were supposed to meet up again. It was a good opportunity to pick up a few presents for the girls, and something small for Adrian, but as I shopped, it occurred to me that I had just trusted Adrian to take care of the two people on earth who were most precious to me, more precious by far than my own life. And, even more strangely, I wasn't worried in the slightest.
With a few minutes left to go, I sat down on the bench and opened the package of the gift I'd bought for Adrian, taking a moment to connect it to the USB drive on my keyring so it would be ready to give to him when we parted for the day. I had just put everything away again when Adrian and the girls returned, the girls chittering away like little happy birds, and Adrian carrying a small shopping bag.
"We got you the best present, Mommy," Violet was saying, jumping up and down. "You're going to be so happy. It's so nice."
"It was my idea," Amy said.
"No, it was mine," Violet said.
"No, it was mine," Adrian said, with a grin, and that ended that little spat before it began. "Now, Am-azing, Miss Purple, who's ready for some dinosaurs?"
Of course. Give Adrian fifteen minutes, and he'll give someone a nickname. The girls began jumping up and down again in enthusiasm, and we began walking towards the exit. Adrian got out his phone as we walked and made a quick call, and when we got outside, a stretch limo was waiting for us at the curb. A white gloved driver got out to open the door for us. I looked at Adrian witheringly, and he grinned. "It's for them," he said, gesturing with his head as the girls got inside eagerly. "If I'd been showing off for you, I would have rented a muscle car and let you drive it." I couldn't help but smile at that. "Listen," he added. "I'll bring you guys back here to your own car when you're ready to go. I promise. So just get in, ok?"
I couldn't deny the girls the pleasure of riding in a fancy limo, and to tell the truth, I'd kind of always wanted to try it myself. "Fine," I muttered, and got in the car. We rode over to the museum, passing through the historic center of the city. When we passed by some of the most famous buildings, Adrian rolled back the sun roof, then held each girl up in turn so that she could look out of the open window. I think that Amy and Violet thought they'd died and gone to heaven. For my part, I didn't know how to feel exactly, but when Adrian took my hand and offered me a smile, I found myself smiling too.
The limo dropped us off a short distance from the museum. We had to walk through the open, grassy area known as the Mall, a name that struck the girls as funny since we'd just been at a shopping mall. We could see the famous Washington Monument, as well as the long reflecting pool. It was a cloudy, dull day, so Adrian was safe from the sun, but it was too cold to walk around outside much. So, we went pretty directly over to the Smithsonian museum devoted to Natural History. Adrian got out his wallet, but it was Violet who pointed out that the museum was free. "I read about it in Highlights," she said. Adrian shot me an amused look, and let Violet drag him inside.
We walked from room to room, looking at all the dinosaur skeletons first. Adrian named all the dinos we saw, giving them names like "Bob" and "Alison," which made the girls laugh.
"That one looks like a girl from my class," Amy said, pointing.
"Ooh," said Adrian. "That one looks like my old math teacher. Rarrh!"
We looked at the dioramas of ancient people, and the displays of amazing geodes, and the meteors that had come so far before they'd fallen to Earth. Everywhere we went, I found other people were staring at us – well, staring at Adrian. With his good looks and expensive clothes, he really did look like some sort of VIP. I caught a few tourists taking pictures of him, and once, a female tourist stopped us and asked us all to pose for a picture with her, which we did. She ran back to her friends and showed them the picture triumphantly, and we walked away, astonished.
"Are you sure he's not famous, Mom?" Amy asked.
"He's an artist, not an actor," I said. "Some people might know him because of his art, but I think these people just want to take pictures of him because he's so... you know. Handsome."
"My ears are burning," Adrian said, a few steps away.
"He has good hearing like Amy," Violet said.
"Yes, he does," I said. "Oh, look, a sabre-tooth tiger!"
When the girls started to get tired, we found the theater inside the museum that was showing an IMAX movie about coral reefs. Violet and Amy were watching it with rapt attention, but I couldn't concentrate with Adrian sitting next to me. He seemed to be playing with something in his pocket, but I couldn't figure out what it was, since he never took it out to look at it. Finally, I nudged him and indicated the door, and he nodded. I whispered to Amy that Adrian and I were going to be right outside, and she nodded impatiently, wanting to watch the movie.
"So," I said, when we'd gotten outside. "What's in your pocket?"
"Oh," Adrian said. "Nothing much. Good movie, right?"
"Fascinating," I said. "Seriously, what's..."
And he leaned forward and kissed me. There we were, two grown adults, kissing like teenagers out past curfew, and I found I didn't care. It was subtly different to kiss him in real life than it had been to kiss him in a dream. It was... well, real. When we pulled apart, I looked around us, blushing, and saw that a few people walking by were shooting us dirty looks – except for a few people who were just outright staring.
"People are looking at us," I whispered.
"It's because you're so pretty," Adrian said, and leaned forward again.
"Hey," I said, ducking away. "We can't. We'll get kicked out of the museum."
He laughed, that lovely laugh. A few women walking by turned and stared, then shot looks of pure murderous jealousy at me. Well, they wouldn't be so jealous if they knew the first thing about my life, I thought. Adrian made a half-hearted attempt to talk me into making out in the back row of the theater, but finally accepted my suggestion to sit down on a nearby bench, which overlooked a display made to look like an African sunrise.
"What did you want to talk about?" he asked.
"I wanted to ask what's in your pocket," I said.
"Just my phone," Adrian said. "See?" He pulled a phone from his pocket, and put it away again. "That's all. Anything else on your mind?"
"Other than... everything?" I said, and we both laughed. "I guess I wanted to give you something."
"You have a present for me?" he asked, eyebrows raised.
"Yeah, it's in my purse," I said, and turned to open the zipper.
"Give it to me later," Adrian said, resting his hand on mine. "You look so pretty in this fake sunrise light. I'm happy to just sit here with you."
"You really think that?" I said. "I don't look..."
"What?"
"Old," I said.
"Old?" Adrian said. "I'm older than you by a few years, so if you're old, what am I?"
"It's different for women," I said. "I mean, I know I'm not like, ancient. But I'm not 20 anymore. And I've had two kids..." After both pregnancies, Rick had nagged me mercilessly to get the weight back off, so I was still in good shape, but I still felt strange about it.
Adrian shook his head. "First off, you don't look a day over 22. Second, I don't get this obsession with youth. Being gorgeous at 20 is no great feat. But being gorgeous at 30 or 40 or 50... that means a bit more. It means that you're truly gorgeous. Which you are, by the way."
I smiled and looked down at our clasped hands. "Thanks," I said. "I wasn't sure how I'd look in person. Maybe in dreams I sort of... fudged the details."
"Is that why you were nervous to meet in person?" Adrian asked. "Or was it just because of... Amy?"
"A little of both," I said. "Mostly the latter."
There was a long pause, and then Adrian said, very slowly, "Did you hide her from me because... you didn't think I'd be a good dad?"
"Oh, God no," I said. "No, no, Adrian, that wasn't it at all." I put my arm around him and squeezed him tight.
"It would probably have been fair if you did think that," he said. "I mean, I don't know if I would be. Will be. Whatever."
That had broached the topic that I was terrified to discuss – what role Adrian would play in Amy's life now that he knew about her. So, to head it off, I took a small object out of my purse. "Look," I said. "This is my present for you, the one I was talking about." It was a small media player that could play both videos and mp3 files. It wasn't very expensive or anything, and I could see Adrian's look of surprise. We both knew he had nicer media players than this already, so he was probably wondering why I'd chosen this as a gift. "It's not the player that's important," I explained, as he took it from me. "It's what's on it. I had some files on a USB drive on my keychain, and I imported them to the player while I was waiting for you guys to get back."
Adrian turned the media player on, scrolled down to the list of videos, and chose the first one on the list. The video began playing, and we both looked at the image on the small screen. A tiny baby slept in a crib, her thumb in her mouth. "Hi, Adrian," came my voice from the speaker. "This is Amaryllis. She's three days old. She's sleeping, or I'd ask her to say 'hi' to you." The video continued playing for another minute, then cut off. Adrian turned and looked at me with wonder in his eyes.
I shrugged. "Watch the next one."
He clicked on the next video. A six month old baby with bright green eyes giggled at the camera. "Hi, Adrian," came my voice from the camera. "It's March 18th, your birthday. Amy and I are thinking about you. Right, Amy?" The baby just giggled.
Adrian pulled me close to him, wordlessly, and we watched several more videos together. Amy digging into a huge cake on her first birthday. Amy taking tentative steps on chubby little legs. Amy saying "Da-da" and smiling. Amy holding her new baby sister in her lap. Amy at a dance recital, as a bunch of three-year-olds moved about the stage randomly. Then came the video with a a four-year old Amy smiling uncertainly on our back porch.
"It's March 18th," I said, in the video. "It's Adrian's birthday today. Say happy birthday to Adrian, Amy."
"Happy birthday, Adrian," little Amy said. "Who's Adrian, Mommy?"
"He's our friend," I said, from behind the camera. "He loves us. Just talk to him."
"Ok," Amy said, then paused before she continued. "Hi, Adrian," she said. "How are you? I hope you're fine. Mommy and I are fine, even though it's cold out here. Um. Do you like dogs? Because I like dogs and I can't have a dog, Daddy says. I have a little sister named Violet. She just turned two. We had a party and cake." She shrugged. "Is that enough, Mommy?"
"That's great," came my voice, and then the video stopped.
Adrian put the player down and pulled me into a tight hug. "Thank you," he whispered.
"Least I could do," I muttered, embarrassed.
He pulled away from me, dabbing at the sides of his eyes. "Holy shit," he said. "Did Amy know about me all along?"
"Not really," I said. "She just knew that we had a friend named Adrian who loved us. We always celebrated your birthday together. I had to do that much for you."
"So my last nine or ten birthdays, you've been thinking of me," he said. "Wow. That's crazy."
"Like I said, the least I could do," I said. "Anyway. It's all on the player now. You can watch them when you get home, or whenever. I know it doesn't make up for not being able to watch her grow up. But I just... I made those videos, and I kept them on my keychain for safe keeping, and when I saw you at the mall today I thought you'd want them."
He kissed me a few times, blinking away tears. "Wow," he said. "I can't believe you were thinking of me the whole time. I thought you must have forgotten me."
"As if I could forget you, with your eyes staring at me out of my daughter's face," I said. "As if I could forget you, anyway. You were my first love."
"How many loves have you had?" Adrian asked, in a subdued tone.
"Just one," I said, and our eyes met.
He smiled and stroked my cheek with his fingertips. Then he held up the media player. "This is the second best present I ever got," he said. "Come here, Sydney." He pulled me to him, and I leaned my head on his shoulder. He smelled amazing, as always. His presence in real life was even more affecting than it had been in dreams, and I felt the blood starting to rush in my veins, like a river rushes when it gets closer to the sea. I was just going to kiss him again when people began emerging from the theater.
"Violet's calling us," Adrian said, and walked through a group of people straight towards my daughters. I couldn't hear her calling until we got much closer, of course, but with Adrian's help, we were all reunited quickly anyway.
Amy and Violet were both full of stories about the movie, and Adrian and I listened with good humor as we walked over to the Insect Pavilion, where we were just in time to see the tarantulas being fed. Adrian was surprisingly squeamish for someone who sucked blood out of people's necks a few times a week, I thought, but the three of us girls watched the process with interest.
After that, we went to see the butterfly exhibit – another chance for Adrian to use his amazing talents to scoot us to the front of a line. When we left the area, I think both girls were on some sort of happiness overload, and we decided to go visit the museum cafe for a snack with at least a modicum of nutritional value. There we ordered snacks with names like "Sharkburgers" and "Butterfly salads," which, thankfully, contained neither sharks nor butterflies.
As we left the restaurant, we noticed a sign saying that another IMAX movie, this one about giant pandas, was starting soon. We hurried up the stairs towards the theater, hoping to get there in time for the start of the movie, when Amy suddenly let out a painful sounding cry. We all turned to see her standing on one foot, her body heaving with stifled sobs. Adrian immediately went to her side, scooped her up, and carried her up the last half-flight of stairs to a landing. Violet and I followed as quickly as we could.
"Someone pushed me," Amy said, as Adrian placed her very gently on a bench. "I started to fall and I stepped funny."
I didn't doubt that. My daughter was agile and fast, and she had probably caught herself before she had fallen and caused a much more serious injury. Half of me wanted to hunt down the careless tourist who had treated her so callously, but the rest of me was focused on her immediate needs. Amy was trying not to cry – she didn't like crying in public, if she could help it – but she was obviously in a lot of pain. Through shaky repressed sobs, she described the pain in her ankle, and I could tell that she had twisted it. This would mean months out of gymnastics class, and a long uncomfortable conversation with Rick.
"Aim-Aim," Violet said, sitting down next to Amy and using her most affectionate pet name for her big sister. "You can have this." She pulled a small 'fun-size' chocolate from her pocket and handed it to Amy.
"Th-thanks, Vy-Vy," Amy said, and began tearing open the wrapper.
"Where'd that candy come from?" I asked Adrian in an undertone, as Amy began eating.
"Me, of course," Adrian said, as he knelt down in front of Amy and took off her shoe. "Hey, Am-azing," he said. "Want to see a trick? I know how to fix ankles so that they don't hurt anymore."
I realized two things very quickly: one, that Adrian was about to use his spirit magic to heal Amy's twisted ankle, and two, that I didn't mind in the slightest. The same magic that had terrified me when I first knew Adrian years and years ago now seemed like a godsend. I wasn't about to deny a healing to Amy, with her tear-streaked face, white with pain. Nothing like motherhood to change priorities, I realized. I watched as Adrian gently moved Amy's ankle in a circle, squeezed her toes, and tickled her instep, as if those actions were the "trick" to taking away pain.
"It feels funny," Amy said. "All hot and cold and tingly..."
"It's magic," Adrian said. "There you are! All better!"
Amy rotated her ankle experimentally, then grinned. "It really is. Thank you." She threw her arms around him in a tight hug, and Adrian hugged her right back. He even, very cautiously, stroked her hair a few times. Then he released her, and she happily put her shoe back on, still hoping to get to the movie theater in time to see the panda movie.
The movie was brief, and when it was over, we agreed that we'd had enough of the museum. We decided to take a little walk around the Mall area to look at some of the monuments. The girls took turns getting piggy-back rides from Adrian, who bore their enthusiasm with amazing good humor. Once we got tired of walking around, Adrian called for the limo to pick us up, and we rode back over to the parking lot where our own car was waiting for us.
Adrian unpacked a few shopping bags from the trunk of the limo and put them into our trunk. It seemed like a lot more bags than I had thought we'd had, but I knew that shopping bags have a way of multiplying over a course of a shopping trip. Once everything was packed up, we knew it was time to say goodbye. We had a very long drive ahead of us, and I wanted to get home before it was time for bed.
"Goodbye, Adrian," Amy said. "Thanks for the presents and stuff. And my ankle."
"Goodbye, Am-azing," Adrian said, and bent to give her a cautious hug. But she threw her arms around him tightly, sighing loudly, and he grinned and picked her up to swing her around. She giggled madly, tightening her hold on him, as they spun. Finally, he put her down, then blew her a kiss as she got into the car.
Violet stood by, obviously wanting the same treatment. "Goodbye, Mr. Adrian," she said. "It was very nice to have met you."
"Goodbye, Miss Purple," Adrian said affectionately, and picked her up and swung her around, too. She held him tightly, eyes closed, as she spun, then when he put her down, she waved at him wordlessly and got into the car.
That just left me, still outside and waiting. Adrian stepped over to me and said, "Will I see you tonight?"
"Yes," I said. "Maybe around 1, is that good?"
"It's great," he said. He paused, then whispered, "God, I want to kiss you."
"Don't," I said. "The girls will see."
"It's ok," he said. "I think they kind of 'ship' us, you know?"
I didn't bother asking him what that meant. "Listen," I said. "I just don't think the girls should see that kind of thing."
"What kind of thing?" he asked. "Love?"
"They have enough secrets to keep from their father... from Rick," I said. "Don't give them any more."
"Hmm," he said. "I guess I see your point. Well, fair enough. Can I hug you, though?"
"Please do," I said.
He pulled me to him, picking me off the ground a foot or two and spinning me around. I found myself giggling a little. When he released me and let me slide back down to earth, I felt like I was still floating. It took all my willpower not to kiss him before we said goodbye and I got into the car. I waited until he'd gotten into the limo and driven away before I put the car in drive.
"When can we see Mr. Adrian again?" Violet asked, as soon as the limo was out of sight. "Can he come over to our house? Or can we go over to his house?"
"We'll see," I said.
"He's so nice," Amy said. "I liked him."
"I liked him too," Violet said.
"Is he a doctor?" Amy asked. "'Cause he fixed my ankle so good."
"No," I said. "But he is good at fixing things, like ankles."
"I want to be a doctor when I grow up," Amy said.
"That's what I want to be," Violet said.
"You want to be president," Amy said.
"President and doctor," Violet said. "That way I can fix people and they'll vote for me."
Amy rolled her eyes. "Whatever."
Violet stuck out her tongue at Amy, then caught my eye in the rear view mirror. "Is Adrian your best friend, Mommy?" she asked.
"Boys and girls can't be best friends," Amy said.
"Yes they can," I said. "And I guess Adrian is... one of my best friends."
"Did you meet him a long time ago?" Amy asked. "Like a long, long time ago?"
"A pretty long time ago," I said. "Hey, how about I put on a movie? We have the Grinch movie here."
"Ooh," said Amy.
"Yes, please," said Violet, and I slid the DVD into the player.
Soon the girls were engrossed in another movie that their father would probably have forbidden them from seeing if he had known about it. I had borrowed the DVDs from the library, as I'd done on a few other occasions, and the girls knew that they were never to admit that they had seen them. We kept a few nature documentaries in the car as a cover, and sometimes, we even watched them, too. But there was nothing like forbidden fruit.
The drive was long, and during the movie, both girls fell asleep. After that, I drove in silence, thinking of the crazy day we'd had, and of the other, much longer drive I'd made, the night when Amy was conceived. I felt pretty sure that wherever Adrian was, he was probably thinking of that night, too.
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