I must start doing… something.

He felt angry. Angry about himself. Angry about his friends. Maybe… somewhat angry about her. How warm the afternoon felt was no encouragement for him. The cool breeze wouldn't make him feel better. The new day was simply filled with pure anger so far.

Why do I never act with guts? Why do I never act like a tom? Why am I never brave enough to act? And why do my friends never know what the hell I'm feeling? Jem… What's her problem? Does she think she's so wise? Does she think she's so much wiser than me? And Tumblebrutus! I thought he – at least, he – would give me some good advice! But, no! He, too, is acting like he knows everything. Arrogant… And also, Etcetera! Oh…

He sighed. It was as if there was a shield in his mind to block off any complaints about that queen. Oh, Etcetera… What can I say about you…

As if it was the perfect timing, Etcetera passed by. "Oh, hey, Etcy!" he said, smiling innocently. He felt overwhelmingly ashamed within.

Etcetera looked at him. "Oh… hey," she said. Pouncival immediately noticed something unpleasant. Her smile wasn't her usual, gigantic smile. It was something… more limited. A smile… with some components of a frown. Is… she… mad or something…? Is it about… me…? Oh, it's all my fault…

He felt like a hypocrite. A few seconds ago, he was about to judge her in his mind; now, his feelings seemed to depend on the size of her smile… as if he was some kind of a marionette held by her. Yet she wouldn't know that she was the puppeteer of the marionette…

Is she tired today? Is that why…? Hoping so, he looked up. She wasn't too far away. On her face, there was no sign of lacking energy; her enthusiasm had returned, and as usual, she was chattering time away with her friends. She seemed… happy. Nothing seemed to be abnormal. It was just him. It was just him who was unhappy, isolated from the others, isolated from everyone he knew… Just him who felt unhappy.

He had never felt so lonely before.

He felt a tap on his right shoulder. Annoyed, he violently turned around, his claws tight.

"Now, what the hell is wrong with you? Are you trying to have a fight with me, huh, Pounce?" Tumblebrutus scolded him.

"Oh… Uhh… Well…" Pouncival desperately tried to grab a plausible excuse from the air.

"You don't seem very happy today," Tubmlebrutus commented.

Pouncival nodded bitterly. He pointed at the queen.

"Oh. I see. Well… I'm not sure how I can help you right now, to be honest…" Tumblebrutus said, almost mumbling. He quietly walked over to Etcetera.

Well, maybe, Tumblebrutus may make it seem less awkward… Hoping so, Pouncival, too, walked over.

"Hey, guys…" the young tom said, rather inarticulately. Tumblebrutus gave back a usual greeting; Etcetera let out an unenthusiastic smile. Almost all of Pouncival's courage seemed to disappear due to her silence, but he decided to push forth, anyway. "How are you guys doing? Fine weather, huh?" he asked, trying to sound as natural and normal as he could.

"I'm doing fine. And yes, indeed, the weather is great…" Tumblebrutus answered. Etcetera just nodded.

Pouncival then had the sudden urge to do what he considered would grab her attention. It was an immature urge indeed, but he couldn't manage to control it…

"Hey, guys, I've got a funny joke: Why did the cat cross the street?" Pouncival said, trying to deny how nonsensical he sounded.

Etcetera shrugged and looked at Tumblebrutus, who shrugged back. You're gonna feel pretty screwed up, Pounce… he thought, giving him a smile of early sympathy.

Pounciaval nervously waited for an answer. When only silence answered him, he felt that he was stuck in a deep pit… a very deep, muddy pit…

"Uhh… Well… I guess you guys don't know. Well, it's because he felt like it! Get it? Do you get it? Oh…" Pouncival was cut short… by his own consciousness.

Etcetera rolled her eyes and gave an unpleasant face that clearly showed how annoyed she was. Her precise facial expression became a dagger and shoved its way through Pouncival's chest, reaching the other side, torturing every part of him…

"Uh… ok…" he muttered. The world in front him seemed to turn white. His mind started to spin within his head. Almost losing balance, he turned around and started walk away. His tried to quell down his urge to vomit.

His slow walking turned into an angry sprinting… He tried to deny what just happened; he tried to convince himself that this was a dream, just a dream, just a nightmare, nothing more, nothing in reality…

His face was red… His teeth were clenched… His body was shaking… with anger and embarrassment…

He crept under an old, decaying chair and slumped down. The front of the chair was covered by a dirty, somewhat-torn blanket. He peeked through where the blanket was torn… and saw what he was separated from…

Etcetera was laughing again; her young smile had returned. Tumblebrutus was right next to her, and he, too, was laughing. They seemed… so natural to be together. Nothing had to be done to keep them close…

"Oh, Tumble, what a silly thing for you to say…!" Etcetera said, giving him a playful punch in the shoulder.

"No, I'm serious, Etcy! It really happened!" Tumblebrutus replied. "I'm not even joking!"

"Well, you're just being obnoxious, that's all!" she said jokingly, her eyes directly in front of his eyes.

"Well, you're crazy! What's worse? Obnoxious or crazy?" Tumblebrutus said back, maintaining his eye contact with her. He, too, had a large smile.

His comment was quite a shock to Pouncival. If I call Etcetera crazy, she'd hate me forever! But when Tubmlebrutus says it, she knows it's a joke and laughs! Why are things so tense between her and me, while things are so natural between her and Tumble? Is there something that he has that I don't have? Why is nothing awkward between her and Tumble, while I always have to be the one who starts the conversation between her and me? What am I… to her?

He saw the two cats hugging. Pouncival knew that it was just friendship and nothing more, but even that…

Pouncival felt something that he didn't feel for a long time. Although Tumblebrutus was his friend, and although he should've wanted the best for him…

He felt jealous.