Authors note: So this is another chapter co-written by my favorite co-author, whose name shall not be mentioned. This is certainly one of the raunchier and sexual stories, no lemons mind you; ya dirty shoobs! Not much to say except I hope you enjoy the new chapter.
Chapter 6: Stan Illustrated
O-O-O
When the boys entered the bar early today to get some drinks in before the late night rush, they discovered Stan and Dr. Girlfriend were busy unpacking boxes filled with bags with what the teens would only assume were either merchandise or drugs. Thankfully, it was the former of the two options. This didn't shock the trio in the least; Dipper's great-uncle was notorious for capitalizing on a good idea—or a bad one—by selling mountains of cheap, useless crap to the public.
"Ah, boys!" Stan greeted as he waved over to them. "Come here and check this out."
"What is all this?" Dipper asked him and his friends.
"Why it's the club's merchandise of course." His great uncle answered matter of factly. "Check it out, we've got t-shirts, mugs, caps and even pogs!"
"What is this, the eighties?" Penn commented. "No one gives a shit about pogs anymore"
"People will like what I tell them to like." The bar's owner casually replied. "But that's not all, we even made few more items outside of the generic crap that'll really get me some money—I'm mean make people give their money—I mean… ah, screw it! Just look at this."
Stan then reached into the box and pulled out a small plush doll that resembled his grand-nephew.
"Ta-da! It's a mini-Dipper! He's softer and less sweaty than the real one." He explained, earning a grimace from Dipper in doing so. "He even has over twenty phrases."
Stan then pulled the cord on the doll's back.
"I peed my pants!" the doll said in drunken slur, clearly a rough recording, to which his friends burst into a fit of laughter.
"I hate all of you." Dipper grumbled as he grimaced at his great-uncle once more.
"How did you even manage to record all of this?" Marco asked, as his laughter died down.
"I had Claptrap record conversations throughout the bar awhile back. Then I had Soos edit them and find the best quotes." Stan explained. "And Dipper isn't the only person I made dolls of."
The con-artist then pulled out more dolls that had the likenesses of every single patron of the bar, including Marco, Penn and their girlfriends. Curious what the old man had recorded from them, the other two teens pulled on the strings and listened.
"What do you mean you forgot to take the pill?!" the Marco doll cried out.
Now it was the hoodie wearing teen's time to be laughed at. Next was Penn's turn to pull the cord to his doll.
"Sure Sashi, we can try pegging." the Penn doll commented.
Rather than laugh, the group could only look at the part-time hero into total shock and disgust.
"What? We were celebrating women's apperception day." The ginger defended.
"Well that explains why you couldn't sit down last week." Marco surmised. "I just thought you had hemorrhoids"
"I guess we should call you Pegged Zero." Dipper snickered.
"At least I don't hide in my girlfriend's bedroom and jack-off while she's undressing!" Penn snapped.
"Hey she knows I'm in there, so it's not that creepy!" The younger teen shot back.
"You kids are gross." Dr. Girlfriend muttered, shaking her head in disproval.
"And this just the tip of the money made ice-burg, boys." Stan continued. "I've got another piece of swag that'll really get some attention."
"Is it legal?" his grand-nephew asked.
"Only if we do it right." The con-artist began. "I'm making an underwear calendar to sell at the bar, and the models will all be patrons."
"An underwear calendar?" Penn repeated in skepticism. "Isn't that a little…tame?"
"I'd have gone with a more pornographic one, but Dr. Girlfriend told me no woman would willingly fuck a horse." the bar's owner answered.
"Clearly you've never looked too deep into the internet." Marco mentioned.
"So did you hire a photographer?" Dipper asked.
"I'm glad you asked, kid!" The con-artist said enthusiastically. "It's you three."
The trio of teens were taken aback by that statement. Now normally, if a boy their age was asked to snap pictures of very attractive women in bikinis they would jump at the chance. However, these boys were in relationships with some very beautiful—and very scary—ladies.
"Are you out of your mind?!" Marco exclaimed. "The girls would murder us if they found out about this!"
"Yeah, Wendy's cool with a lot of stuff, but I'm pretty sure she'd castrate me if she knew as snapping pictures of other women." Dipper pointed out.
"And you'd never find my body after Sashi was done with me." Penned added.
"Not to mention Star would probably banish me to some horrible dimension." Marco finished.
"Well excuse me, I had no idea I was talking to a trio of whipped pansies!" the old man scoffed.
"I'm not whipped unless I ask for it!" The cap-wearing teen argued before realizing that he just blurted that out "Hehehe…whoopsie."
Rather than open that can of worms right now, the boy's friends did the smart thing and ignored it for now and kept focused on the subject at hand.
"Can't you hire a professional to do this?" The ginger questioned.
His great-uncle's respond to that came in the form a fit of howling laughter like he did when Claptrap had asked him for a raise. Dipper should've know better than to ask him of that.
"Ha! That's a good one!" He finally said. "Listen, I need you guys to do me this solid. I'd get one of the staff members to do it, but they all said no, and I'm not trusting Claptrap with this. I'm still punishing that little bastard for snitching on me."
"Did someone say my name?" The service bot called out from across the bar as he poked his head out of the broom closet.
"Get back in the closest you bucket of bolts!" Stan commanded, making the robot whine.
"But there are spiders in the boxes!"
"Stay outta my boxes!"
Claptrap let out a sigh in defeat before slowly rolling back into the closest, closing the door behind him as he did; allowing the boys to once again get back on track.
"Look Stan, what you're asking of us is a big deal." Penn reasoned. "It's not that we don't want to, it's just that…"
"We like being in a relationship with our girlfriends." Marco finished before tacking on "And living."
"Well too bad, because you're doing it!" Stan said sharply. "You punks owe after I let you throw that party a few weeks ago!"
"But you told us to-
The elderly man then pulled out three cameras and placed them into the teen's hands, not letting Marco finish his sentence.
"Now get out there and get me photos of some beautiful women!" the bar's owner warned "And they all better over eighteen! I don't wanna deal with the cops again!"
With no other option, the teens set out on their mission. Even though they had no idea where to start or who to ask, not to mention that if they were discovered it would mean the end of their relationships and possibly their lives.
O-O-O
Later that night, the bar was once more filled with its regular patrons. As they costumers drank, the trio of the newly made photographers sat at their regular table, mulling over who they could ask to shoot pictures of.
They had considered asking Dr. Girlfriend to be one of their models, but they decided against it since the very sound of her voice made their boners want to commit suicide. Besides, they doubted that her husband would approve of it and would annoy them to no end.
Their girlfriends hadn't arrived yet and for once the boys were happy for that, for if they did show up it would make things even more complicated. Just then, Dipper felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He took it out and saw that he had received a text from his older lover.
"Well, it looks like God's cutting us some slack." He said to his friends "Wendy says that she and the girls are going to have a night out and won't be coming tonight."
"That's odd, Sashi's not really into the whole 'girl's night out' thing." Penn mentioned in suspicion. "But on other hand, that does give us time to take the photos and get it over with without them finding out."
"Yeah, if we can find anyone who wants their picture taken." Marco countered. "I mean it's not like we can just walk up to someone and say 'hi! You're very pretty can we take a picture of you in your underwear? Oh, and can you do it in the sexiest pose you can make? That'd be just swell!'"
"I can do that." A female voice suddenly spoke up.
The teens slowly turned around to see none other than Lord Dominator standing before them. Instinctually, the boys leapt from their seats out of fear of the evil empress.
"Relax guys, I'm not here to kill you." She casually assured them "In fact, I wanted to ask if I could be in the calendar."
"How do you know about that?" Marco asked.
"Dr. Girlfriend mentioned it to me while I was getting my drink, and since Toffee and Vlad are no shows and I'd rather not hang out with the big cheesepuff and the dandy dorito all night, I was like 'sure, why not.'" Dominator admitted. "So what do you say boys, am I in?"
While Dominator was a very intimidating and deadly person with the power to level whole armies with little effort, no one could deny that the green-skinned villain was incredibly sexy. Many of the male bar patrons outside of Lord Hater lusted after her and would perhaps shell out big bucks to see her half-naked—even the boys themselves had to admit they wanted to see that.
The envy for Toffee grew ten sizes that moment.
"Lord Dominator, your about to become Miss January." Dipper said. "I'd be happy to be the one who-
"Dibs!" Penn cut in. "Called it."
"Goddammit!"
Penn gave his friends a cheeky smirk as he and Dominator left the bar to begin her photo-shoot.
Now Marco and Dipper were left to seek out other girls for the calendar. Just then, the Hispanic boy noticed a pair of young women sitting at a nearby table, drinking and laughing together. The patrons knew the two women as Korra and Asami: the bar's local lesbians. Upon seeing the couple sitting together, an idea sparked in Marco's mind.
"I think I know who we can get for February." He said to his friend as he pointed to the couple.
"Korra and Asami?" Dipper asked in disbelief. "Good luck with that dude, you're on your own on that one."
"Hmph, thanks for the backup." Marco muttered before he walked over to the girls.
Now it was down to Dipper to find someone, but as Marco had said earlier, it wasn't going to be easy to find someone who'd be willing to expose themselves like that.
Suddenly, as if the universe was throwing him another bone, a young red haired woman in her early twenties entered the bar. She swore a white t-shirt with a green hoodie over it and a short-skirt. Dipper had seen her come to the club a few times before, but never really talked to her. What he did know about her was that her name was Frankie Foster and she's the caretaker at her grandmother's foster home for imaginary friends; and word around the bar was that she was bit of a party girl underneath that nice girl façade she put up.
After gathering up his courage, Dipper made his way to the bar-table where Frankie was currently sitting and ordering a small glass of bourdon. The older redhead noticed the young boy walk up to her and greeted him a smile.
"Oh hey, you're Dipper Pines, right?" she asked "I've heard about you and your friends. So what can I do for you little dude?"
"Well Frankie, it's like this…" The teen began awkwardly began, getting Vietnam flashbacks as he was reminded of his awkward crush on Wendy he had when he first knew her. "I-I was wondering if you'd uh… like to help with something for the bar."
"Sure, what is it?" she replied with interest in her voice.
"Well, here goes nothing." He thought before speaking out loud. "I was wondering if you'd like to model for a calendar were going to be selling here…an underwear calendar."
There was a bit of a pause from Frankie's end, making Dipper think that he just offended the older woman as he gulped nervously.
"Yeah, absolutely." She answered with a smile. "Are you taking the pictures?"
"Yes!" Dipper squeaked out, clearing his throat afterwards.
"Cool." Frankie said. "Alright, let's do this!"
"Yes ma'am!" The teen responded a bit too quickly.
Frankie finished her drink and headed out the door with Dipper following behind her. As he did, the boy couldn't help but let his wander over downward to her rear-end, taking in the sight of the older woman's rear view and imagined Wendy with an ass like Frankie's.
So he had a massive hard-on for redheads, sue him.
O-O-O
While Marco had said that he was going to ask Korra and Asami if he put them in the calendar, his bravado had abandoned him in the short time between walking his table to theirs.
It was hard to determine how the couple would take the offer; Korra was known for bouts of anger her while lover would assist in the ass-kicking of anyone who had rubbed them the wrong way. A good example of this was a few days back when Emperor Awesome attempted to invite the pair back to his ship for a three-way. He's still in the emergency room to this day. Marco had faced monsters, villains and Star on her period before without any problems—well maybe he had trouble with that last one—but hell have no fury like a sexually frustrated Avatar.
But just as Marco's mind started screaming 'Get out of there, you idiot!' he was already at the girl's table.
"Marco, are you ok?" Asami inquired.
"Oh! Hi ladies!" He yelped out "I-I was wondering if—and you can totally say no to it if you want—w-would you like to be part of an a-adult calendar? Please don't hurt me! It was all Stan's idea! Kick his ass not mine!"
The couple could only look at him with surprise in their eyes. Marco quickly closed his eyes and braced himself for Korra to go into the Avatar state and kick him into oblivion. Strangely however, not a single fist touched him from either woman. Confused by this, the Hispanic boy opened his eyes to see the girls looking back at him with a bright smile on each of their faces.
"We'd love to!" Korra happily agreed.
"R-really?" Marco stammered out.
"Absolutely!" Asami continued. "Korra and I were just talking about how we could spice up our relationship and this seems like just what we looking for."
"Huh, well that easy." The teen muttered before speaking up. "In that case ladies, let's go take some pictures."
The lovers nodded in agreement before following Marco out of bar, ready to be photographed for all to see.
O-O-O
When Penn entered Dominator's ship, he couldn't help but let out a 'whoa' at the sight of the massive inner walls of her spacecraft. The occasional robot would pass them as they headed off to carry out their objectives. Dominator led her teenage photographer to her bedroom, where she allowed him in first before closing the door behind them.
The moment they entered, the evil empress began to kick off her sneakers and remove her gloves. She then headed toward her bedroom, removing her helmet as she did. Dominator then set her helmet down on a small table before reaching down and pulling down her skirt, exposing her lower half to the ginger. Despite this being his job, Penn looked away from the green skinned girl out of respect for her and his girlfriend.
"Oh grow up, you baby!" Dominator groaned as she pulled off her shirt. "Like you've never seen a girl in her underwear before."
Penn forced himself to look at the alien and nearly went lightheaded from the amount of blood that shot down from his head to his dick when his eyes set upon the warlord's half-naked form. Dominator was dressed in a black bra and a black pair of panties that had red skull-and-crossbones on the front and back of them, as well as her pair of socks. She then climbed onto her bed and sat on her knees. She then unhooked her bra and let it hang from her shoulders; however she crossed her arms over her chest to her breasts, giving the boy a sly, sex-filled grin.
For a moment Penn nearly forgot that he was supposed to take pictures…or that he had a girlfriend for that matter.
Snapping back into reality, Penn aimed the camera and began to take pictures of the half-naked alien, all the while trying not losing his composure—or what little he had of it—while snapping the photos. Photography wasn't the part-time hero's strong suit, but thankfully Dominator perfectly posed herself in several different and very suggestive ways, giving the redhead more than enough material to work with. It did make the teen wonder if she had done this before, but he knew better then to ask that question to her face.
"Aaand I'm spent!" Penn said as he snapped the last picture. "Well that was fun, thanks for being so sexy—I mean helpful! Very helpful!"
"No prob." Dominator replied, strapping her bra back on as she did. "Anything else you need before my good mood wears off?"
"Can I use your bathroom?" Her photographer inquired sheepishly as he looked over to her bathroom.
"Yeah sure." the alien said plainly.
"Thank you!" he nearly shouted as he raced toward the bathroom
Penn slammed the door behind him and locked the door behind him. Dominator could only roll her eyes at him, knowing full well what he was really doing in there.
"You better clean up after you finish!" She warned him through the door "If I find one drop of jizz in there, I swear I'll make you eat it!"
O-O-O
Marco really had no idea as to what to do for the photo-shoot. All he knew was that since Korra and Asami were going to be the girls for February, he wanted to do a Valentine's Day theme, but as for what that was to look like, he was fucking clueless.
After riding alongside them back to Asami's home, he followed the lovers up to their bedroom, all the while still trying to figure out what would be the best shot for the calendar. The couple went into the bathroom to get into their attire for the shoot while Marco patiently waited for the two, completely unsure what exactly they were slipping into.
When Korra and Asami step out of the bathroom, Marco's jaw dropped like a like sack of bricks.
Korra had changed into a red leather corset with black laces. She wore long black arm warmers and red and black striped stocking that strapped around her heart-shaped thong. Asami was dressed down to a red satin bra with a hearts on both sides of the bra. She also wore a red pair of panties that had the words 'I heart u' written on them. She too was wearing stripped stockings like her lover, but she also wore a pair of black high heels. The biggest piece of her costume was that she had a pair of large of fake angel wings that were strapped to her back.
Marco did his best not to stare for too long, but that was easier said than done.
"Well it's easy to see who's on top." The teen mused to himself before asking out loud. "Where did you guys get those outfits?"
"Came out of the closet." Korra simply answered.
"…Uh-huh…" the boy answered slowly, not wanting to make an obvious joke for fear of his life.
"So Marco, any ideas for what you want us to do?" Asami inquired. "Because Korra and I have a pose in mind you might like."
"Sixty-nine?"
"What?"
"Nothing!"
"Let's just show him, babe." Korra offered, to which her lover nodded in agreement.
Korra and Asami then climbed into the bed and laid down on it, propping up the upper half the bodies on their elbows as they did. They then moved their heads forward toward one another until their lips were mere inches away from one another, all the while looking dreamily into their eyes. The hoodie-wearing teen aimed his camera and began to snap several pictures.
"Awesome! Thanks girls!" He said to them. "I think I have enough for—"
Marco's words were cut off when a sharp moan escaped Korra's lips as she and Asami suddenly began to make-out.
"Uh girls? You know I'm still here, right?"
The Avatar gently wrapped her arms around her lover's hips and rolled them over so that she was on top, all the while continuing to make-out with the girl and paid no mind to their photographer still watching. Marco wanted to turn and leave as he saw that things were getting hot and heavy between them and had seemed to have completely forgotten about him.
"Maybe I should go." he squeaked out to the girls as Korra began to move to Asami's lower regions. "I think I should…I…should…stay for little while longer."
With that, Marco pulled up a chair and took a seat to the Avatar and her billionaire girlfriend have the wildest girl-on-girl sex he had ever seen in his life. As he watched, he started to wonder if Star would be willing to do something like this.
Marco grinned widely at the thought, imagining him and his girlfriend in the bed.
O-O-O
Unlike Penn and Marco, Dipper had already thought up a pretty good idea on what to with Frankie's photo-shoot; since Dominator was January's girl and Korra and Asami were going to be the girls for February, it was only logical to make Frankie the girl for March.
As they rode in Frankie's van, he told her about all the ideas he had for her; most of which revolved St. Patrick's Day. Frankie said that she had just the outfit for the shoot and after making a quick stop at her home, they headed off to where Dipper said would be the perfect to take pictures in private.
They drove out into the forest where they then parked next to a large pine tree. Dipper waited outside while Frankie changed her outfit in the back of her van. Five minutes later, she climbed out of the back of van and showed her attire for her photo-shoot. It was a green bra that and green panties with a shamrock on the back of it with the words 'Wanna get lucky?' written on the front of it. To complete the piece, the redhead wore a small green top hat on her head and pair of long green stockings that ran up to her thighs.
"So, how do I look?" She asked with her hands on her hips and a sensual smile her face.
Dipper's answer to that was a small trickle of blood that leaked out his nose and a large bulge in his pants.
"By the Emerald Isles…" He finally breathed out in a poorly spoken Irish accent.
"That good huh?" Frankie giggled. "So where do you want me?"
"Sitting on my face…" Dipper said in almost trance-like state as his stayed focused on her breasts before coming back to the real world. "Uh—I mean over by that rock! Yes! That rock over there that doesn't look my face in any sort of way whatsoever!"
Frankie let out a laugh at the teen's expense; she always got that kind of attention from men both young and old. At this point she didn't mind the attention she got, if anything, it made her feel more comfortable in her own skin, for she had never really saw herself as a 'pretty girl' before, so when Dipper asked her to do all this in the first place, she was flattered to say the least. Dipper himself was rather cute for a kid his age; if he was just a bit older she would've suggested a more 'explicate' shoot.
As instructed, the older woman went over to the rock and waited for Dipper to tell her to tell her what to do next. Dipper thought it over on what to do with her for the picture. After a few seconds of mulling it over in his mind, he had the perfect idea.
"Alright, I want you to bend over and give me a sexy, yet playful smile." He informed her.
Frankie nodded in understanding. She then bent over forward and gave her photographer the sexiest grin Dipper had ever seen a woman make. If he wasn't already in a committed relationship with a girl he absolutely love—and a few years older—he'd have been all over the older redhead like the IRS was with his great-uncle's finances.
He shot a few pictures of the girl before giving her the thumbs up that he was good.
"You can change back, Frankie." Dipper told her. "And uh…just between us…if I was a bit older…"
"I'd fuck your cute brains out." She finished, giving him a wink as she did.
At that point, the teen's whole body turned into a sweaty mass of hormones.
O-O-O
After getting the photos they needed, the three friends reunited at the bar, where they compared the pictures among themselves—ok it was mostly them bragging about their nights with beautiful women.
"Frankie said she'd fuck me when I older" Dipper said.
"That's nothing, Dominator let me jerk-off to her in her bathroom." Penn countered.
"Please, I watched Korra and Asami do it." Marco proudly boasted.
His friends were instantly impressed, he had topped him.
"Respect my friend, much respect." Penn congratulated, first bumping his friend as he did.
"Well this good and all, but we've only got three months down for the calendar." Dipper mentioned. "We still need nine more girls to finish the damn thing, and I doubt we'll find anyone else willing to be in the calendar."
"We could—"Marco attempted to suggest.
"Ah the hell with this!" Penn suddenly proclaimed. "I know how to figure this out!"
Before either of his friends could ask what he meant by that, the part-time hero leapt onto the table.
"Hey! Are there any ladies in here who wanna be in an underwear calendar for the bar?" He asked the bar. "Raise your hands now or forever hold your peace!"
The moment he had said that, a wave of women's hands shot up into the air, surprising the other two teens. The ginger looked down the boy and gave the other two amateur photographers a sly, superior look.
"We're gonna need more film." Macro mentioned.
O-O-O
After getting a sudden influx of volunteers, the boys divided up the months and the girls among themselves to photograph.
Penn took April through June and picked Amethyst, Mirage and the bounty hunter known as June to be his models. Marco chose to do July through September and had Hera, Amy Wong and Ms. Bellum to photograph. Dipper was left with October through December and chose to shoot for Ember, Tak and the model he won to shoot in a game of rock paper scissors against his friends; Molotov Cocktease.
Amethyst was easy enough to shoot for; she merely morphed her cloths into a bra and panties and took the photos out behind the bar; they finished up in less than fifteen minutes tops for the Gem to be become the girl for April. Mirage transported Penn and herself back to her home of Morbia. Once there, the Lord of Chaos disrobed and changed into her underwear and had a photo taken of her sprawled across a sarcophagus. She then returned the teenager to the bar, leaving him with the weirdest boner, but with a great picture for May. Last but not least was June's picture for, well, June—it was the only reason he picked June to shoot. The bounty hunter changed into a gothic Lolita-type outfit before Penn took her picture at a local park.
Marco's photo-shoots went just as well.
For Ms. Bellum, he had her dress down into a red, white and blue bra and thong and shot the Mayor of Townsville's assistant in the backyard of some guy's house they had snuck into. Hera dressed herself in the attire of one of Jabba the Hutt's slave girls for her shoot for August; normally the Hispanic boy would be worried about Kanan's wrath even after the 'incident' he heard about that blinded him, but the Twi'Lek assured him that no harm would come to him by the Jedi's hand. For September, Amy stripped down into pink basque lingerie with matching pink panties and stockings. Marco took her pictures in the cargo hold of the Planet Express ship.
Dipper was happy with his choices, for he knew that where some truly pervy guys and girls who would be turned by a ghost, an alien and an assassin.
As expected, Ember was the girl for October. The two traveled to the Ghost Zone where some of the ghost rocker's friends by the names Kitty, Spectra and Desiree asked to join in on the photo-shoot as well; to which the young photographer happily agreed. While Tak looked like young human girl, in reality, she was in her sixties. In her true form, the alien dressed up as what can only be described as a 'sexy pilgrim' spreading her legs apart across a table ready for a thanksgiving feast; although the GILF as he called her made him want to quit photography. And finally came Molotov's turn that reinvigorated his trust in photo shoots instantly. Dipper had her slip into some Christmas theme lingerie and snapped several photos of the Russian spy up against Christmas tree Soos had decorated for the occasion.
All in all; the three friends had gotten the photos they needed for the calendar…and a few extras for themselves for when their girlfriends weren't available; at least Penn and Dipper did, Marco was far too loyal to Star surprisingly and the boys just took his photos after a quick card game to use the photos as bets.
O-O-O
The next day, the trio turned in the photos they thought would be best for the calendar to Stan and returned to their table. It wasn't too long after that the girls had entered the bar and sat with their lovers. The boys noticed that their girlfriends looked as if they were guilty of something, confusing them. The trio wasn't exactly innocent either, but they knew they'd be dead if they told what had transpired the night before.
"So…how was girl's night out?" Penn slowly asked Sashi cautiously.
"Oh, uh, fine! Totally fine!" She answered with an uncharacteristically nervousness in her voice before quickly looking over to the other girls. "Right girls?"
"Oh yeah, it was a fun night!" Wendy instantly agreed, with a small tinged of guilt in her voice.
"Uh, yeah, full of unicorns and tampons!" Star quickly added on before changing the subject. "What did you guys do last night?"
"Oh uh, nothing special." Her boyfriend quickly lied, much to his shared guilt.
"Yep, nothing special." Dipper tacked on, more so out of fear. "Right Penn?"
"No siree bob, we did absolutely special!" the part time hero commented as he sweated bullets. "Because doing something is our least favorite thing to do, especially if that something made you girls angry."
Dipper kicked the red haired boy under the table to shut him up before he could do any more damage.
"O…Kay" Was all Sashi said.
Just when the boys were in the clear, Dominator walked up to the group of teens and approached Penn, who at this time knew he was going to be flung face first into a category five shit-storm.
"I just wanted to tell you that I had great time last night, Penn." She informed him sensually before walking away.
When she left, Penn looked back at his girlfriend, who had hellfire in her eyes.
"What did SHE mean by that?" She demanded harshly.
But just as the ginger was about to try to explain his actions—or better put, beg for mercy, Vlad approached the group and walked up to Sashi.
"Dearest Sashi, last night was utterly fantastic!" He told her with a smile. "No one had treated my body in the way you had."
Now it was Penn's turn to become furious.
"What did HE mean by that?" He questioned just as harshly as Vlad strode away from the table
"I asked you first, asshole!" Sashi shouted as she slammed her fist on the table.
"Not until I get some answers!" He shouted, shooting up from his seat as he did.
"Well she didn't sleep with some green skinned slut like you apparently did!" Wendy cut in.
"And who's to say she didn't sleep with a green-skinned creep?" Dipper coldly surmised as his eyes narrowed at her "Or any of you did for that matter?"
"Hey we didn't do anything like that!" Star defended.
"And can you back that up?" Marco asked sharply.
The three couples were just about to murder one another when suddenly Soos causally strode up to them like World War three wasn't about to go down at their table. He was carrying two freshly made calendars up to the anger-filled couples, unaware he was walking into a warzone.
"Yo dudes check it out!" He said as he set the calendars down. "The calendars are done."
Soos then turned and left, allowing the teens to look down at them.
It was then that the boys noticed that it wasn't just the one they had helped to make, but one that was labeled 'for the ladies'. Both groups took the different gender focused calendars and saw the series of photos not only shot by Dipper, Penn and Marco, but ones shot by Sashi, Wendy and Star. The photos that the girls had taken were of were male bar patrons who consisted of Toffee, Vlad, Kanan and others dressed in only their boxers or briefs. It was in that moment that all the anger they had rising within them suddenly faded away and was replaced with a strange relief.
"So Stan conned you into this to, huh?" The part-time hero finally asked.
"Yeah…" Sashi answered, clearly ashamed. "He said we owed him and that we we're supposed to be the photographers for the calendar."
"We we're so ashamed to tell you guys." Star continued "We're sorry."
"We're sorry too, sweetie." Marco apologized as he hugged her affectionately. "Right guys?"
"I'm not; I got some pretty good shots." Penn absently admitted before getting a death glare from his lover. "That I do not find sexually attractive at all."
"So, what do we do now?" Wendy questioned.
"Sneak into Stan's office and set fire to all the copies?" Dipper suggested.
"I'll get the blowtorch!" the part-time sidekick cheered.
And so, the group of teens gathered up the boxes of calendars and lit a bonfire in the parking lot, letting their love grow stronger among them as the flames grew higher until the fire department came to put the fire out.
Many teens were arrested for arson that day.
O-O-O
Discalimer: Blah! You know the drill, fuckers!
