Thanks for all the reviews. You guys are the best. I think this is my favorite chapter so far, so I'd love to know what you think.

Chapter Six "Let It Burn"
"How long can you stand the pain?
How long will you hide your face?
How long will you be afraid?
Are you afraid?
How long will you play this game?
Will you fight, or will you walk away?
How long will you let it burn?"~Red

Steve found himself spending his considerable downtime at a small beach outside of the city. He bought a surfboard and told Denning it was for reconnaissance. He probably would have allowed it anyway, but Steve was not in the habit of showing what might be considered weakness in front of his boss. Not after the last time.

"You really screwed yourself over, McGarrett," Denning said, standing with his hands behind him and his back to Steve.

He was staring out the window into what, Steve didn't care. He wanted to leap out of the bed and strangle the man who had never given a rat's ass about him anyway. He didn't. He didn't have the energy to do anything but wish this was some kind of hallucination between life and death. He'd have preferred to see almost anyone else, but he probably didn't get to be selective.

"Are you going to explain this?" Denning turned around. He looked a little too real. Too lifelike.

"No," Steve said. Why bother? But he did. "It's fubar."

Denning gave him a steely glare.

"You want me to spell it out for you? I will."

Denning held up a hand. "That's quite enough," he said. "Are you done? Because we have a lot of work to do."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Insubordination was irrelevant; he was dead.

"You're death. It's more convenient than I initially thought. Now, don't get me wrong, under normal circumstances, I'd fire your ass for being so stupid, but ironically, you've presented yourself with an opportunity."

"I'm supposed to care?"

"You should. You want Wo Fat? He's the reason for all this drama? Now's your chance."

"Remember when I asked what the hell you were talking about? I still want to know."

"You're dead. As far as anyone knows at this point. You can go after him in peace. I'll reassign Five-0. He won't bother them anymore. It's perfect."

"In what world is that perfect?"

"Considering what you just did, I'd say yours."

"So, I'm dead, but I'm not dead. Shit."

"So you'll do it?"

"Of course I will. Fire me all you want when it's over; I don't care."

Steve was brought out of his thoughts by the sound of crashing waves suddenly seeming much closer. He saw a boy catch air on his surfboard and thought it looked a lot like pictures his mother had taken of him when he was younger.

Steve immediately put that image out of his mind. The boy was coming out of the water now. It was Ryan. The boy who made cookies on his days off from the fishing boat. The boy who lived next to the apartment where someone died which was next to where Steve had been living for several weeks.

Probably weeks. He wasn't sure how much time had passed.

"Hey!" Ryan called, dragging his board and running up to Steve. "You surf?" He was eying Steve's board.

"Yeah, a little," Steve said.

"Bet the California waves have nothing on this?" He gestured widely, grinning like a kid at Christmas. Steve was reminded of Kono.

"No," he said, blocking yet another image. "Not the same, anyway."

"Well come on. Let's see what ya got."

Ryan ran back to the waves leaving no room for refusal. The thought never seemed to enter his mind. The kid's enthusiasm was infectious, but it wasn't unconscious. Steve could tell. Steve had been that boy far too many times.

H-5-O

When Danny finally got back, Kono was still out on the beach, sitting cross-legged next to the fire pit. Danny went inside and grabbed them some beers before heading out to meet her.

As he got closer, he saw a stack of papers in the sand in front of her. "What are you doing?" he asked.

Kono looked up at him and took the offered drink. "Trying to figure it out," she said. "I know we did this already. I just..."

Danny sat down, but didn't say anything.

"I thought I had it figured out, you know?" Kono went on. "That we had to let him go, to give him up, but something still eats at me, and I can't stop it."

"I don't think you're supposed to," Danny said.

"But I can't freaking live like this! I can't be 'Kono' like this. I'm... something else. Nothing. I don't know."

"You are not nothing. Steve helped make you who you are, and it's that part of him that can live on. Not die with him and take you too."

Kono tossed one of the letters in Danny's lap. "This one makes the most sense," she said. Then she threw the rest in the fire pit. There were no flames, but it didn't matter.

Danny looked at the wrinkled, tear-stained page in his hands. He'd read it countless times, trying to make sense of Steve's choice. It still wasn't right. But this was the closest thing they had to an explanation.

Dear Danny,

I can't believe I'm writing this. Just the writing part, not the actual... Anyway, I know you're gonna blame yourself, all of you, but don't. None of this is your fault. It's Wo Fat. It's Mary. It's Dad and Mom and Jenna and... everything, you know? I can't explain this in a way that will make sense to anyone but me because it's taken me this long to make sense of it myself.

I just want you to know that I love all of you, and if I thought you were safe with me alive, I'd never... But you're not, and Danny, I can't lose you too. I can't even describe what that thought has done to me every night since I got that call. Since they told me my sister was dead. I can't lose my brother too.

Tell Grace I loved her. I always, always loved her, and I know she loved me too, and I'm so, so sorry. If there were any other way...

There is no other way. I can't stop him, Danny. No one can stop him, or no one will.

I'm not really alive anymore. I know I put on a good mask. I know you can't tell or you'd be shaking me and slapping my head and telling me to get help, and really meaning it. I know sometimes you mean it and others you don't.

It's too late for help. No one can help. There's nothing you or anyone else could have done. This is not your fault. It's me and Wo Fat. I can't exist while he does. I physically cannot do it.

I know you won't take my word for all of this. You'll tell yourself there was something that could have stopped this. That nothing's really that hopeless. Truth is, I don't even know what hope means. Is it something people just invented so they can go on living while the world has gone to hell?

I've seen a lot of things no one should ever have to. I don't deny they stay with me, but I'd do it all again because it meant something. But all it means now is that my family, the only people I love are going to die because someone out there hates me.

Hate. That's real. The most real thing I can grasp. I've only hated four people in my life. Wo Fat. Hiro Noshimuri. Victor Hesse. John McGarrett. Now I only really hate one, but it's all that matters.

For what it's worth, I loved you. I used to know what that was. It used to mean something. Now it means I have to die. This is for you Danny. My brother. My friend. The only person I can't stand to lose now. The only person he would take away from me.

I love Chin and Kono too. I always have, but they're not you. I want them to be happy. They've taken so much bullshit from everyone. Now they're clear, though. Now they can live. You too. You'll probably get the job. Please take it. Please don't give up on all the good you can still do.

When it comes, you'll find this. You'll try to believe someone set it up. That I would never really... But it's real, Danny. I did it. I made this choice, and there's no going back.

It's over.

Steve