A/N: Sorry I'm a day late. My Dad is visiting and he has an odd obsession with the computer game "Plants Vs. Zombies" so he took over my computer. I hope no one is angry with me but I sort of lied in the last chapter. Bella does not visit a bar in this chapter but she will in the next one, I promise. Thanks for reading, Everyone! Hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: SM owns it all.
Chapter song: Howl by Florence and The Machine
My skin was actually turning a color. Granted, it wasn't tan but a healthy pink that I never even saw while living in Phoenix as a little girl. With heaps of sun block and hours upon hours sitting or walking in the Miami sun, my skin was no longer a pasty white.
"What are you thinking about?"
I turned to Edward, who was now the only other person in the house who's lips weren't constantly stuck to someone else's. We were the single outcasts who spent their time avoiding awkward situations where body fluid might possibly get involved or already was. For example, a couple of nights ago, Rose had picked The Bodyguard to sit and watch which meant the rest of us were forced to watch it also. I tried to escape, I really did, but something was in her eyes that told me not to push my luck. "It's movie night and we're all going to watch a mother fucking movie," she said it with a smile, but like I said…her eyes were giving me the creeps.
So, it was about halfway through and Kevin was saving Whitney yet again from something stupid when I heard lips smacking resounding throughout the room. I was sitting by Edward, and I moved forward to look around him. Both girls were straddling their men, and a furious blush crept across my entire body. Tongues were in full force, hands roamed in places that I hadn't imagined Alice's hands roaming to, and Rose was sort of grinding a little. Edward made a face at me and pointed toward the back patio. I nodded enthusiastically and we made our quiet escape away from our four horny friends.
We hadn't mentioned Mike Newton again, but I caught him looking at me a few times the same way he had the night we talked about it. A sad, and rather worrisome expression took over his face and he would look away abruptly when I would catch him staring.
"I'm trying not to stare." I pointed out to Alice who was floating in the pool with Jasper. Her legs were locked around his waist and once again, it seemed she had lost track of her hands.
Edward made a face.
"Do you think that chlorine kills everything?" I asked, subconsciously mocking his grimace. "I mean, if it turns hair green, it has to be pretty strong stuff."
His eyebrows shot up, and he considered my question for a few moments. "It probably takes a few hours post…er…introduction for it to completely take care of it."
My grimace became incredibly strained on my face. "Gross."
"I should call my Dad."
He cut his eyes toward me. "That's kind of weird. Wondering which bodily fluids chlorine takes care of reminds you to call your Father."
I rolled my eyes but otherwise ignored his comment. "I think I should at least let him know where I am in case something happens. If he was injured falling off his fishing boat, I'd want to know." This would be the most awkward conversation ever. Charlie could care less where I was just as long as I wasn't under his roof. He wasn't unkind and he provided for me growing up but there was no sense of a relationship. Everything between us was forced and ill at ease.
"He doesn't know where you are? I bet that won't go over well," Edward grinned.
I shrugged. "He doesn't really care."
"How could he not?" Edward's tone had changed reminding me of the loss of his own Father.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up my Dad, like that. I can't imagine how difficult it is for you," I awkwardly mumbled. He nodded, accepting my apology but his shrug told me it wasn't necessary. "We just don't have a very tight relationship so we just…don't talk."
He shifted in his seat a little but I kept my shaded eyes on Alice and Jasper. Alice's hand had come up for air but now I couldn't see one of Jasper's. I was never going in that pool again.
"He loves you, though."
"I don't really know, to be honest."
"That's insane. He's never told you?" I shook my head. "What about your Mom? Is she in Washington?"
Now it was my turn to shift around in my seat. I never talked about my Mom because I didn't really know what to say. The truth? Sure, I could say, "Oh, my Mom disappeared when I was eight because I was too difficult to be around. Probably jumped off a bridge or changed her name and moved to Europe. Why? Oh, because I threw an ashtray at her head one day when I came home with a 'C' in biology. Oh yeah, I threw the ashtray with my fucking brain!"
"She left when I was eight," I told him.
When I thought about my parents, a strange thing would happen. A sort of numbness shadows over my brain like an eclipse taking over the sun. When I was moved back to Forks after Renee left, I was a mess. I wasn't sure whether she was alive or dead, but I did know that she had been reported missing. Even with all her faults and lack of coping skills, she was the only Mom I ever knew. There were good times, in addition to lots of scary and bad times, but the good times were what stuck in my brain during those years. I clung to them like moss on an elderly Oak, hoping that one day I could add memories to the ones I already had. A reunion memory, perhaps.
So, there I was, a scared little girl clutching onto a possibly fabricated memory of a Mother I would never see again. I desperately needed something from my Dad, the only parent I had left. I didn't know for sure what that was that I needed but I was pretty sure it was affection, maybe even love. Instead, I got nothing. Maybe a little acknowledgement that I shared a house with him was the most I could get out of Charlie. Thank God I met Alice. I recoil when I think of the person I would be today if Alice wasn't in my life.
"So, it was just you and your Dad?"
I nodded and he turned his gaze back to Jasper and Alice. We both watched their wandering hands and slimy tongues transfer spit back and forth for a few moments.
"It's kind of like watching National Geographic," he blurted.
I laughed, "Where's a hungry hyena when you need one? Isn't that the natural predator of the male and female erect nymphomaniacs? Pun intended, by the way."
"It must be mating season. Natural urges to procreate take over any sense of decency," Edward grinned.
"We can hear you!" Alice yelled in a sing-song voice.
I sat up straight and turned slightly toward Edward, stage whispering, "Did you hear that? It's very rare that you hear any sort of communication during the mating ritual. We are so lucky."
He leaned toward me, "Let's see if I can get a rise out of the male."
I held my hand out in mock fear, "Be careful! He's liable to get ferocious while protecting his mate. I've seen times when he gets so defensive that his voice gets high pitched and he tries to confuse his adversary by flailing his arms around in a bitch slapping manner."
Alice and Jasper were now watching him as he stalked beside the pool in a very cool Edward-like manner. All four hands were now above sea level so whatever he was going to do was already a success in my opinion.
"What are you doing?" Alice asked, and snapped her neck toward me, "Bella? What…" she trailed off as Edward picked up the large cooler that Emmett always kept beside the pool. It was also always filled with loads of ice but rarely any beverages, mainly because we were all too lazy to refill it.
"Edward, I will kill you," Jasper grumbled matter-of-factly.
Edward grinned as he picked up the cooler and shuffled over to the edge of the pool.
"Edward, this is…" Alice's voice was slightly panicked. "Bella, tell him that this is ridiculous."
Edward looked at me with raised eyebrows. "Should I?"
Alice and Jasper looked like they were enjoying a tennis match. Their panicked and annoyed expression went back and forth between Edward and myself. Alice clutched onto Jasper as if he could omit some sort of force field to protect her against the contents of the cooler.
I sighed heavily, "It's only fair, really."
At that, Alice untangled her legs from around Jasper and they tried desperately to get as far away from Edward as they could. Unfortunately, for them, the leg tangling took a little too long because within seconds the contents of the cooler had been dumped on their heads. Alice was screaming and Jasper was shouting profanities with Edward's name mixed in.
Edward shrugged, but ran in the opposite direction while Jasper jumped out ran after him.
"What the fuck?" Rose's voice came from behind me, as she took in the ice floating in her pool and the cooler upturned.
"Edward," Alice spat as she climbed out of the pool, "He threw ice on us."
"You needed it, Alice!" I laughed at her as she wrapped a towel tightly around her.
She flipped me off.
"How was work, Rose?" I asked, between residual chuckles.
A noise came from in the house that sounded a little like a painful screech from Edward.
"Eh…it was work. Wish I could be here with you bitches, instead."
"You're with us in spirit. For instance, you would have covered Al and Jazz with ice but Edward did it, knowing you'd be proud of him." I smiled proudly up at her, as Alice ran a comb through her hair.
Rosalie grinned, "You know, I probably would have. Thanks, Bella."
"You people are insane. Who does that to another person?" Alice spat.
"Oh, like the time I was in the shower and you turned on the hot water in the kitchen every two minutes so it would go frigid on me? That was insane, Alice." I pointed my finger at her, and narrowed my eyes. She didn't think that the whole thing could have caused some sort of catastrophe but luckily nothing happened. If only I could control my fucking mind!
The corners of Alice's mouth twitched. "That was great. You scream like a girl."
"So, we're going out on Thursday," Rose said, gazing toward the beach. "You're going with us, right?" I pretended to be busy picking at my fingernails, and hoping against all odds that she wasn't talking to me. "Bella?"
I shuffled through the memory folders in my brain, trying desperately to find something important enough to bring up that would change the subject. Someone famous is in rehab or has died. Phone messages she had gotten while she was a work. Anything. I got zilch.
"It'll be fun, Bella," Alice grinned. It was an evil grin. A revengeful grin.
I narrowed my eyes from under my sunglasses. Her malevolent smile was interrupted by Jasper, who came striding outside looking proud. Jasper was suddenly my hero.
"What are you looking so smug about?" I asked.
He shrugged a little and kissed Alice on the cheek. "I just gave Masen a bloody nose."
"You better have kept him off the living room carpet, Jasper," she hissed. It was impressive the lack of concern Rose showed for Edward's nose and the protective stance she took in defense of her carpet. In response, Jasper's grin fell off just a fraction and his brows came together.
"You asshat!" She slapped him on the back of the head and stomped off into the house.
Jasper ran after her after giving a quick slap to Alice's behind. "It was Edward's blood!"
My laughter caught in my throat when Alice snapped her face in my direction.
"You're going, Bella. You need to conquer your fears."
I whined and shifted in my seat, "Alice, you know what could happen and I'm not…"
"You'll be fine. No excuses, Bella."
Then she walked away, leaving wet footprints and a big gust of anxiety in her wake. Is this what people call "tough love"?
It's funny how the concept of time can seem so different from person to person, from situation to situation. A minute will always be sixty seconds, even though it may seem to pass in the blink of an eye or painfully tick by with bated breath.
When I was ten, I went fishing with my Dad for the first time. He had approached me about a few days before, looking at his feet and muttering the invitation as if he had been forced. Possibly, he was. Anyhoo, I accepted and as soon as he left the room, I threw myself upon my bed, squealed into my pillow and kicked my Keds on the bed so hard it made the room shake. Needless to say, I was excited at the chance to spend time with Charlie. I thought that if I went along with him, we would talk and come to a sort of understanding. I imagined the awkwardness of our relationship sprouting wings and taking flight, as a bond would form between us over earthworms and hot chocolate. To make a long story short, the awkwardness sat upon us like a vulture and it was the shortest fishing trip in the history of Charlie's fishing past. The pole slipped right from my hands, I swear it.
Those few days between Charlie's invitation and the actual fishing trip seemed to drag on forever. Each night of forcing myself to shut my eyes and think of anything but catching a huge trout, showing it proudly to Charlie seemed endless. With each day, the darkness couldn't come soon enough nor the light of the next day. "Father Time" was a big fat tease.
Coming back to the present, Rose had told me on Monday that we would be going to the bar on Thursday. She had teamed up with Alice, telling me that all my excuses were old and lame. At one point, she sent me a "talk to the hand" gesture, rendering me shockingly speechless. So, I had been dreading it, scheming in my head how to trick them into forgetting I exist for an evening. Between Monday and Thursday, I had barely blinked and here it was, Thursday. Time had passed so quickly that my brain struggled in these last few hours to come up with a reputable reason to skip the night out. I change my opinion on "Father Time"; he's a mother fucking asshole.
So there I was, standing in front of the full length mirror in my room, wondering to myself what Syrup of Ipecac tasted like and just how desperate I was. Vomiting sucked so I wasn't sure if the situation was that hopeless, yet.
I had on a dark blue tank top with a rosette neckline and dark jeans. After staring at my chucks for a good five minutes, I reluctantly pulled my black heeled boots out of the closet and put them on. I curled my hair a little, whipped on some mascara and some lips gloss so I could look like I at least made an attempt. The last thing I needed was Alice or Rose to get their hands on my makeup or hairbrush. I would end up looking like a two dollar hooker, making their goal of finding me a quick lay not even a challenge.
I stomped down the stairs with my little brown wallet clutched in my hand for dear life as if it could save me. Everyone was lounging on the living room furniture watching Wheel of Fortune. They were so wrapped up in the game that they didn't even see me approach from behind. Alice was in a tight little red strapless dress that made her slim figure look slightly curvy. Her dark hair was flipped and her bangs pinned back away from her face. She clung onto Jasper who was wearing a Killer's t-shirt, blue jeans and a pair of brown Vans. Rose and Emmett had went with a matching theme; both of them had on tight red t-shirts, however Rose's v-neck showed the curves of her breasts. Emmett had on a pair of khaki pants but Rose topped all of us. Her black leather pants had to have been sewn on Sandra Dee style. Edward looked casual in a blue button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and some loose fitting jeans. I smiled when I saw his black Chucks and I contemplated running upstairs to discard my boots. He was mindlessly fumbling with his cell phone and his eyes were glued to the television.
A short balding man had just went bankrupt.
"This guy sucks at this," Jasper mumbled and he took a pull from a beer.
There was a collective nod around the room. Emmett let out an agreement grunt.
"People can't suck at picking letters, Jasper. There is no skill involved," I said. Everyone turned in their seats and stared at me.
"There is so skill involved." He used air quotes on the last two words.
I rolled my eyes because unfortunately this wasn't the first time we had had this argument. Things were exciting in Seattle, especially in my apartment. So much so that these kinds of discussions were considered heated debates.
"When are you going to be ready, Bella?" Rose asked, looking me up and down. She disapproved of my outfit with a single glance. I pretended to be oblivious.
"I'm ready. Let's go," I said.
Alice flipped around on the couch. "You aren't wearing that shirt, Bella."
I raised my eyebrows. "Oh, I'm not?" She shook her head and her mouth fell open a little. "I think I am. Let's go."
The entire room stared at me and I glanced at Edward. He shrugged and I gave him the stink eye because he should be intuitive enough as the other single oddball to realize that he should be helping me.
"I have the perfect shirt for you, Bella. I'll just go get it." Rose's pants squeaked when she walked as she went for the stairs.
"Rose, seriously, I'm wearing this." Rose stopped and looked to Alice for help. It was rare when Rosalie Hale asked for help which said a lot about my current top.
"B! Guess a freaking B!" Jasper yelled out.
"Bella, we're just trying to help." Alice gave me her pouty face. Huh-uh…not this time, Al.
Rose turned back toward the stairs and I actually had to stop arguing to breath a little. They were starting to piss me off. I was close to barging out the back door and making a trip to the beach when the sound of Edward's phone ringing stopped me.
He closed his eyes for a moment before hissing out a curse, then he pushed a button and put it up to his ear. Surprisingly he didn't stomp off to find a quiet room to hash out his phone duel. He stayed put so naturally all of his friends stared at him and attempted to eavesdrop. Jasper even turned the volume down on Pat Sajak.
His voice was soft and his eyes were still shut as he rested the back of his head against the chair. He moved a hand through his hair, tugging at the roots and leaving it looking slightly messier than normal. The tips were turning auburn from being kissed by the sun.
"Yes…I know…I know…I told you that…please…"
Whoever was on the other end talked for a couple minutes as he sat with it to his ear. I was starting to think that they had hung up when he started talking again. "I do. How could you think that I don't?" His voice was growing strained and agitated, and I waited for the dragon to emerge from the calmness but exactly the opposite seemed to happen. "I know you do…I know…a few weeks. I promise…please…don't do that, okay?" He now sounded like he was pleading with someone. His eyes popped open and he noticed the five pairs of eyes fixated on him so he quickly raised out of his chair. He stalked into the kitchen and there was a communal awkwardly shift of all the bodies left in the room.
The sound of Rosalie's heels clonking up the stairs broke the silence. Damn it. She was getting that shirt.
Ten minutes later, I was stuffed into a tight blue tank top with more boob showing than I was comfortable with. Emmett had went to check on Edward and came back with a gloomy look on his face.
"Edward decided he isn't going to come," he muttered. "We should go."
Rosalie gave him a look that probably meant something and he nodded in return. Fucking couples with their secret fucking languages.
"What? Why isn't Edward coming?" This wasn't fair. I didn't have some secret person calling me and getting me out of these kind of things. The fact that Edward was going was going to make this whole bar experience a little bit better. If something happened, he would be there; I could grab his hand and answer questions later.
"He's not feeling well," Emmett grumbled, avoiding looking at my narrowed eyes.
"But he was just…"
Emmett cut me off with his usual spunkiness returned, "Let's hit the road! I'm gonna get my groove on!" He proceeded to do some strange mating dance where he grinded his hips into the back of the sofa. Alice let out a disgusted groan.
"I…er…forgot my wallet upstairs. I'll be right back," I grumbled, heading for the stairs.
"Your wallet is in your hand, Bella!" Alice called after me.
I yelled something unintelligible back and headed straight to Edward's room. I wasn't even sure if he was up here but if he was, I was going to let him have it. Knocking would have been kind of me but kind had flown out the window the minute my boobs were smashed into the polyester that was currently wrapped around my torso like an Ace bandage.
He was laying on his back across the bed with his arm draped across his eyes. When I shut the door behind me, he didn't budge. I looked around me and spotted his guitar, and several pots of tiny dead plants that were sitting by the large patio window of his room. There was a small pile of clothes in the corner and a picture of a man and woman sitting on the dresser. The colors of the woman's red hair and the man's brown suit were fuzzy and a crack ran across the glass of the frame.
"Emmett, I told you that I'm not going. For the last fucking time…leave me alone, please." His voice was weak and strained, leaving a bad taste of guilt in my mouth. It was wrong of me to come barging up here, demanding that he expose himself to the sweaty and rude crowd of a bar just to protect me from myself.
"It's me," I squeaked, "I just wanted to make sure you were all right." Yeah, that's it. I was concerned for your well being and it has nothing to do with your magic hands.
He raised his arm a fraction and he peered at me through the opening. His eyes widened a little at Rosalie's slutty tank top and the corner of his mouth twitched but he recovered quickly and went back to being his typical post-phone call broody self.
"I just don't feel well all of a sudden so I'm just going to stay in." His voice was muffled as he lowered his forearm back over his eyes.
"Bullshit," I spat. I flinched a little because I was surprised that I had actually said it out loud considering my aversion to confrontation.
"Bella, no offense but it's none of your business," he mumbled.
I narrowed my eyes and breathed in through my nose and exhaled a warm gust of air through my mouth. I walked over to his bed, and sat down on the edge next to him. His hand looked so inviting just laying at his side. He had no clue the power he held over me with just a touch from that hand. I sucked in a deep breath and took a chance to look at his room in a little more detail. It seemed that Rose had given him the smallest room but he did have his own little patio which made up for it. There was only a closet and no private bathroom like I had in my room, but he wasn't the type to care. The decaying plants by the patio window were a little on the creepy side and I only hoped that it was a last attempt at reviving them by Rose and not some weird hobby of Edward's.
The picture on the dresser kept drawing my eyes to it and I found myself curious about it. Who the couple was and why did they look so damn happy. I assumed it was his parents and I wanted to ask about his mother. I had learned previously that he was an only child, and his mom had babied him his whole life. My guess was that he secretly loved it even though he grimaced when he told me.
"You're going to piss them off if you don't get down there," he told me, peering up at me again from under his arm.
"I would really like you to come, Edward."
He almost looked sad for a moment at my request but it vanished into a neutral expression. His head shook a couple times, and his eyes disappeared once again. "Sorry, I…I just can't."
Out of nowhere, my body reacted on it's own accord and I slowly grabbed onto his hand. As soon as my skin met his, my body reacted and I was floating. I couldn't help the smile that spread over my face and the feeling of relief flood through my body as if it had replaced my blood. My stomach rejoiced in the absence of the imaginary hand that enveloped it on an every day basis when tension and fretfulness ruled my decisions.
"Edward, can I just…can I just tell you that you shouldn't let other things or other people make decisions for you. I don't know what those phone calls are about and I'm not dismissing the importance of them but you are here…right now." My voice did not sound like my own and I paused for a short time. The utter euphoria that was running from my hand to every other portion of my body was placing me in a semi-confused state. Was I dreaming? Or maybe I died.
Edward's hand twitched from under mine and I sensed retreat. In a defensive action, I held a little tighter and climbed back onto my soapbox.
"I lived for a long time in fear, always wondering what would happen if I stepped outside my little bubble. The little bubble that I live in is safe and predictable but it's pretty damn boring. Tonight, I'm going to that bar and my bubble is staying here so…" I trailed off, a little embarrassed that I was talking about bubbles. His hand was warm, so warm, and I wanted to hold onto his tighter and feel if his palm is soft or calloused. I wanted to travel my hand up his arm, and feel the dark hair on his forearms travel between my fingers.
Edward didn't move and I wondered if he had fallen asleep until he pulled his hand away from mine in a slow but deliberate movement. I was unable to hold back the soft whimper that came from me as the clutching and tautness returned to my body in full force as if angry that it had been sent away. It took a few minutes to readjust but when I did, I found my bearings and rose from his bed. After one last glance at his unmoving frame, I started walking toward the door. It was strange; what I felt was sadness but not sadness that his magic hands would not be there to rescue me if the situation called for it. I was sad because I actually wanted him to come. It occurred to me then that I really liked Edward, and his company was something I looked forward to. I didn't hang out with him just because he was the only one not sucking someone else's face besides myself. I hung out with him because I wanted to.
I put my hand on the doorknob when he spoke, his voice deep and slightly hoarse. "I'll make a deal with you."
I turned around on my heel as he sat up on the edge of his bed. He cleared his throat as I raised my eyebrows expectantly.
"Why do I feel like I'm making a deal with the devil?" I asked.
The corner of his mouth pulled up into a smirk. "I'll go tonight if you play a song for me sometime," he said and nodded once toward the guitar propped up in the corner of his room.
I crossed my arms over my chest and chewed on my lip while considering his proposition. I'd never played for anyone but Alice, and I only knew three songs however he didn't specify when I'd have to play this song. It could be ten years from now.
"Okay. Deal."
He stood up, crossed the room and held his hand out for me to shake it. For the first time, I didn't want to touch him. It was the whole blind man taking a five second peek at a porno. A tease. There was no way out of it, however, so I grabbed his hand for a quick shake, feeling the release and reintroduction of the monster inside me.
A/N: A five second peek of a porno would TOTALLY suck. Leave me some love, purdy please! Thanks to everyone who reads!
