A/N: again! More writing! This hasn't been updated in a while. Fixing it up before dinner…

Disclaimer: Melody, Carson, and Mandy are all mine. Everyone else, not so much.


"Still alive but I'm barely breathin',
Just prayin' to a god that I don't believe in
'cause I got time and she's got freedom.
'cause when your heart breaks no it don't break even"

~ 'Breakeven (Falling to Pieces)', The Script

Break Away

All I knew was that my mom wasn't going to be happy. Then I had to deal with Gwen... That would be hard. And Ben. Yeah, he'd be able to manage without me. I was probably like an annoying older brother to him. If living with me was hard, living without me would be a breeze.

I hit the brakes, parking right outside my house. This was probably going to be the hardest part. I pulled the key out of the ignition. I shoved it deep down into my pocket. The cold ice burrowed its way into my heart. Pain would soon follow.

I jogged up the few stairs and stood on that porch for a long time. Such a long, long time. The sun beat down on my face and neck. I was so hurt. But I had to leave. I had to. There were no real options beside it. They needed me. It was having me with them and fighting for my life everyday or staying in Bellwood with nothing to gain and nothing to lose. It wasn't simple, but I didn't want to be left out of my life. The life that I used to have...

"Kevin?" asked my mom, looking at me through the kitchen window. Her dark gaze was trained on me; concern laced in her every flickering glance. "Are you alright, baby?"

I was going to miss everything about this place. I was going to miss my room. I'd have to leave my garage behind. All those memories of me and Ben doing stupidly random things together in the garage would fade away. And Gwen. Oh, Gwen.... Bellwood was the first place I'd ever felt truly at home.

I'd miss living here. And the worst thing was, I'd miss Mr. Smoothy.

My mom's face was still the perfect picture of worry as her dark eyes stared out at me. "What's wrong?" she called through the open window, drying her hands on the dishtowel.

"I'm leaving, Ma," I replied softly. "I don't belong here." That was a lie. "I need to be somewhere else." I stood there, leaning against the posts that held the small roof-like structure above the porch.

And as I let my gaze meet hers, I watched her brown eyes stare back sadly at me. She didn't seem broken or hurt, just extremely alone. Like it was the last piece of her heart that I was ripping away. "I always knew you had to be off to bigger and better things. You were always destined for that, darling. This life was never enough." This moment had been carried on through the window until she disappeared into the kitchen and came out the front door, standing in the frame. My mother seemed to look me over before smiling approvingly, her eyes still sullen, but she would never admit it. We Levins bank on our pride. "Your father was the same way. And I always knew you were going to follow him."

"I'm sorry," I started, but she cut me off with a glare before I could get any further.

"You need to listen to me."

I only nodded. Arguing with her is like asking for a death warrant. A long, painful, and torturous death warrant.

"If this has anything to do with your father or your step-father, just tell me. I care about you and I love you." She reached out with one small, delicate hand to touch my shoulder. "Be safe. I raised you well enough to be out on your own now." My mom wouldn't break down no matter how much she wanted to. She wasn't going to cry. It was part of her being her. And partly pride. Actually, I had a feeling it was mostly her pride that kept her from breaking down. "And make sure to call me every now and then. If you don't, I guarantee you'll be sorry."

I nodded, trying not to let the tears cascade down my cheeks. Pride was what held us together and pushed us apart. And somehow, it kept us together as a family. No matter what. "I will, Ma."

She hit me with the dirty dark blue dish towel that was in her hand. "Get out of here, Kev," she laughed, stepping out fully onto the porch. The sunlight painted her hair to brightness, the tendril-like rays of sun gently kissing her weary face.

This got me to smile despite the situation. For being my mom, she was pretty awesome. "Love ya, Ma."

Again, she hit me with the towel. "Love you too, baby."

Carefully, I jogged back down the steps. Another car skidded past mine, parking right next to my car, but I was already inside my own precious vehicle, the key pressed into the ignition and engine purring, prepared to pull away as soon as the moron who was the beginning of the end of my life was out of my way.

The second he was on the sidewalk and there was no chance of me running over him (even though I really, really I wanted to), I was gone, pulling around the corner. Disappearing. It was an act I had excelled at over the years.

Moving on. Mr. Smoothy. That's where I'd agreed to meet Gwen this morning. As expected, I caught sight of her radiant fiery red mane on one side of the parking lot, leaning against the side of the building, dazzling emerald gaze scanning the parking lot for any signs of me or my ride. Sure enough, the shining green metal must've caught her eye because she was sprinting towards the car in all her grace, waves of scarlet hair billowing behind her.

I pulled the car into a space and she slowed to a stop only a yard or so away. Then approached slowly. "Hey," she said. "What happened last night?"

Hard part. Lying to Gwen. I'd hate lying to her, but it was the only way I'd be able to get away. At least my left eye didn't twitch like Ben's did. It would've been a dead giveaway, but I didn't have any kind of problem like that. "We headed out on a deal. Mandy brought the stuff I needed and I was able to put it together with the dealer that had been fighting for it." I had gotten out of my car and now leaned against the door.

Her eyes narrowed. Sadly, I knew what I was getting myself into. "You said you wouldn't deal anymore, Kevin! You promised me you wouldn't!" One of her small hands launched itself out at me to deliver a punch to my chest, but I blocked her hand only a short second later by placing my palm in the way. Then I closed my hand tightly around her fist and twisted it the wrong way, a quick yelp of pain escaping her lips.

I kept my expression as hard as stone and let my eyes turn cold. Instead of saying anything, I just released her hand.

Gwen clutched her wrist to her chest, the other hand caressing it, massaging what I injured. "Kevin..." Her gaze slowly moved upwards to meet mine and I could tell that she was hurt. The girl I loved seemed broken because of one simple thing. I could faintly see the glistening of tears in her eyes. And I had to admit that I definitely felt guilty after seeing her being saddened so deeply like that. "What is wrong with you?" she asked. I heard her voice cracking.

My face remained emotionless, empty. No reply came from me.

Only one step was taken by Gwen. Backwards. Away from me. "Kevin, you promised me that you'd never trade anymore alien tech." She was wounded. Not only physically. I'd just dealt her one of the hardest blows she'd probably ever receive.

"I already traded my tech, Gwen. I can't stay clean forever." I looked her dead in the eyes. I really hoped that she couldn't read my emotions as well as I could read hers. Being secretive was something that really paid off in times of need. Times like this. "I need cash."

Without another thought, she went into fury mode. Anger blazed in an inferno behind her emerald orbs. "I'm done with you, Kevin. If you can't stay off the streets, then maybe you don't belong with me. And chances are, you don't belong on this team either." She was fierce now. She had been kicked in the stomach by my betrayal and now she was lashing out with her tongue, just leaving scrapes on me compared to what I'd felt in the past.

"Maybe I don't," I sneered, reopening the car door and sliding into the driver's seat. The keys were still in the ignition and I took off at top speed, the engine charged like lightning, sending me back towards the garage. Tires squealed on the black pavement as I headed off.

In the rearview mirror, I caught sight of Gwen. She stood there, staring after me. Her gorgeous emerald eyes were drenched with unshed tears. Her red hair was being blown to one side from the whipping winds. That hand remained clutched to her chest, probably sore by now. She was going to break down as soon as she was alone. I barely saw her as she ran off in the direction of her house. Clearly, she wouldn't make it all the way there without a few of those sparkling silver tears sliding down and maybe a sob being unleashed from her lips.

Already, I knew I'd broken her heart.

And my own.


A/N: there's that taken care of… review if you think this was good! Or if you have any comments or… I'm babbling. Just review!

~Sky