Apparently in an earlier draft for TJM, there would have been a reunion scene between all the Shortmans, and the Patakis would have gotten to reconcile too, and it would have happened back at the temple where Arnold was born! That scene got cut because it just seemed more fitting to fade back to Hillwood after Arnold and Helga's kiss, and I would agree. Helga and Arnold's kiss also would have taken place at that temple, but the writers realized it would have been an awkward spot for them to confess their love in the place where Arnold was born, so that all got scrapped. Of course… I still would've liked to have seen the reunion however. I imagined my own version, with a few ideas that Craig specifically mentioned (Bob trying to sell the pirates beepers…)


The Helpers for Humanity, true to their name, proved nothing if not helpful. Rather than heading back the way they had come along the river, they had instead lead Lasombra's now liberated captives to a rendezvous point near the Hidden City, where they intended to meet with Eduardo. Among the group of kids, young Phoebe marched out in front, having masterminded their escape she felt a surge of confidence and had more or less appointed herself the leader of the pack. She still had no idea what had happened to Helga, Gerald and Arnold, and felt considerably anxious about that. Walking alongside her was Stinky, who with his superior height spotted something in the distance.

"Hey fellers! Look!" he yelled, "It's some kinda Egyptian Pyramid or somethin'!"

Everyone looked and beheld a ruined stone structure, covered in moss and vines. A stone staircase at its base lead up towards an archway, beneath a tall cylindrical structure with a strange green smoke rising from the top like a large chimney.

Phoebe corrected Stinky, saying "Well, given the region of the world we're in, I think it would be more comparable to a Mayan or possibly Incan… oh my!"

Appearing in the archway atop stood three familiar figures, smiling and waving at the approaching kids.

"Look! It's… it's Arnold! And Gerald, and Helga!" Mr. Simmons shouted.

"They're alive!" Harold bellowed, "Ahahaha!"

The kids all swarmed the trio as Grandpa Phil and Grandma Gertie pushed their way past the others to reach their grandson.

"Arnold!" Grandpa shouted as he threw his arms around Arnold and cried out for joy, "Oh Arnold, we thought we lost ya, short man!"

"Grandpa! Grandma! You're here!" Arnold laughed.

"Arnold!" Harold shoved past the other kids and attempted to give Arnold a huge bear hug, but Gerald quickly stood in his way.

"Hey! Give the kid some space!" Gerald said, "Family first. Any questions can go through his PR man, right here."

"Kimba!" Grandma cried out, "Are you alright?

"I'm fine, Grandma." Arnold reassured her, "But… how did you get here?"

"Oh, we hitched a ride with those Pataki characters." Grandpa shrugged, "Now what in the Hellen of Troy were you doing out there in the Jungle by yourself?"

"Well, I wasn't completely alone. I had Gerald and Helga."

"Out in the jungle with your cranky little friend with the one eyebrow?" Grandpa scolded, "It's a wonder you're still alive, short man…"

"Yeah." Arnold said, "I'm sorry I broke my promise, Grandpa."

"Oh what matters is that you're safe." Grandpa chuckled, "Don't worry, you're only grounded until you finish up junior high school."

Not even batting an eye at his grandfather's obvious bluff, Arnold took a deep breath, unsure of how to break the news to the two of them.

"Grandpa? Grandma?" He said solemnly, "You both might want to brace yourselves… I… I found out what really happened."

Gertie gasped, "You mean…?"

"Yes." Arnold nodded and lowered his head, "All the questions have been answered. There are no more loose ends…"

"Oh… I see." Grandpa knelt down and placed a hand on Arnold's shoulder, "I'm sorry, Arnold. I didn't want you to get your hopes up after all, but I just want you to know that Grandma and I are always going to be there for you. At least until they shove us in the grave, and then- ouch!"

Grandpa's heartfelt speech was abruptly cut short by a sharp pain on his shoulder caused by Grandma squeezing with all her might. Grandpa turned to look at her, and saw she was staring straight ahead with an awestruck and somewhat flabbergasted look in her eyes.

"Dagnabit, Pookie!" Grandpa howled, "You trying to break my shoulder? My bones are already sturdy as balsa wood… what?"

Grandma said nothing, but grabbed Phil's head and manually turned it in the direction she was looking. At last seeing what she saw, Phil's jaw dropped and he fell completely silent. Out of the temple appeared a man and woman slowly walking towards them, hand in hand. As they approached not one of them said a word. Even the other kids looked on in awe, as if somehow already aware of exactly who they were.

At last Miles broke the silence and said, "Dad. Mom."

"M-Miles?" Grandpa gasped, "Is it really you?" He turned back to Arnold in utter bewilderment, "Arnold? You…?"

"Grandpa… I found them." Arnold said. He was then slightly taken aback when he saw his grandfather shedding tears.

"I… I don't believe it… son? Is that really you?" Grandpa pressed.

"Oh, hello there Miles." Grandma said very casually, "Hello Stella."

Every time his grandma did much of anything, Arnold told himself he shouldn't be surprised, but as always he somehow was. Her casual reaction to seeing her son and daughter-in-law alive had him slightly worried.

"Grandma… you're not… surprised?" Arnold asked, slightly worried the last ten years may have just slipped her mind.

"Well of course not." Grandma said, "I knew this day would come. I always… knew…"

Dropping her act, Grandma then ran to Miles and hugged him tightly.

"My boy…" she wept, "My boy…"

"And you… you no good son stealing so and so… get over here…" Grandpa gestured to Stella.

As Stella approached, Grandpa threw his arms around both herm Miles and Grandma. Arnold looked on with a huge smile as his grandparents and parents all hugged.

"Phil… or can I say dad?" Stella asked.

"You… look at you two!" Grandpa remarked, "You don't look much worse for wear. What have you been doing out here all this time? Napping?"

Arnold, Miles, and Stella exchanged looks with forced awkward smiles as their eyes darted back and forth.

"I'm sorry, Grandpa." Arnold started, "I know I said I wouldn't go looking-"

"Oh, Arnold!" Grandpa interrupted, "You are forbidden to ever obey me again! I don't believe it! Just when I thought you couldn't be any more impossibly amazing you go and do the amazingly impossible!"

"Mom, Dad… I'm so sorry." Miles said, "I never should have left."

"Oh short man, I've missed you so…" Grandpa said to Miles as he tussled his hair. Grandpa then quickly turned to Arnold and said, "Sorry, Arnold. You weren't the first one. Should've told you."

"Now, where's that Eduardo character?" Grandma asked, "I still feel the urge to hit him."

"We're all going home. Together." Miles said. "To stay."

"Oh that's wonderful!" Grandpa laughed, but then turned rather serious, "But don't think you're gonna be ducking at the boarding house for free, ya mooch! Honestly, what are you? Forty years old? Isn't it about time you got a job and moved out on your own? I'm running a boarding house, not a charity. Honestly."

"Dad…" Miles smiled, and embraced his father.

"Oh that's cute, you think I'm joking…" Grandpa muttered.

Nearby, Helga and Gerald stood grinning. Helga wiped a tear from her eye.

"You okay, Helga?" Gerald asked.

"Yep. Jungle pollen again." Helga said, "This stuff is really doing a number on my allergies… ah-choo… heh, heh…"

"Helga? Just admit it. You're human." Gerald teased.

"I ain't admitting squat, tall hair boy. But I don't think I can handle any more tender reunions…"

"Helga!" the voice of Phoebe rang out from the group of kids.

"Feebs!" Helga shouted for joy, "Okay, just one more…"

Phoebe practically tackled Helga as the two friends hugged tightly.

"Oh, Helga! I'm so glad you're okay!" Phoebe cried, "Of course, I never doubted you would rise in the face of adversity. You being the strongest person I know."

"Yeah, yeah, quit sucking up…" Helga said as she and Phoebe smiled warmly at one another.

"Hey… no sugar for Gerald?" Gerald asked as he opened his arms.

"Oh I've been saving it…" Phoebe said, a mischievous grin crossing her face. She then threw her arms around Gerald and locked lips with him much to his surprise as Helga stood by awkwardly. The other kids looking on started to whoop and holler, but the kissing couple ignored them. Helga's eyes darted back and forth as she rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly.

"Right then… I'll just leave you two to it." she said, stepping backwards, "Like I said, that's enough tender reunions for one-"

"BABY SISTER!" an all too familiar voice cried out.

Helga froze, "Oh crap…"

Olga tackled Helga with the full force of a linebacker and held her in the tightest hug she had ever experienced.

"Helga! You're safe! I was so worried!" Olga cried as tears gushed from her eyes.

"I'm… fine Olga… but I might not be if you don't ease up on the hugging… I can't breathe…" Helga struggled for air.

Suddenly another and much less expected voice filled Helga's ears, "Helga! Oh Helga, my little baby girl! I thought we'd never see you again!"

Helga's mother wrapped her arms around both girls and squeezed even harder.

"Ack! Miriam?" Helga gasped, "What in the blue blazes are you doing here?"

"Well, we got a little call at home on the beepers somehow," Miriam explained, "And we just had to come make sure you girls were okay."

"Beepers?" Helga asked, "How did-"

As Helga looked off in the distance, over the ridge appeared Big Bob himself, leading the remainder of Lasombra's crew, all tied up. Among them was Olga's short time fling Che. Bob was speaking to them in a surprisingly businesslike tone.

"So you can see why gentlemen in your profession can't afford to be without our top of the line beepers." he explained, "They're just so much more convenient and less hassle than cell phones, especially out in a spotty region like this."

"Señor…" Che pleaded, "If you please just stop talking I will gladly buy everything you've-"

"Plus messages can't be traced if you're…" Bob stopped when he spotted his family.

"Daddy!" Olga shouted, "Look what we found!"

"Hey! There she is!" Bob opened his arms and began running towards them, "I've got all my girls back!"

Helga, already feeling like a helpless animal caught in the coils of a giant anaconda braced herself as Bob came barreling towards them.

"Oh lord have mercy…" she groaned.

Bob then wrapped his arms around all three of them and lifted them into the air.

"And there go my ribs… ow…" Helga squeaked, "Please let go…"

"Sorry, girl but I'm never letting go of you again!" Bob shouted.

"Oh… how… touching… ow… criminey!" Helga yowled.

At last, Bob put them all down but held onto Helga.

"I thought we'd lost you, little missy." he said sternly.

"No such luck." Helga frowned, "Sorry to disappoint. As usual."
"What're you talking about?" Bob huffed.

"Oh please… you're not that clueless." Helga said.

"Look missy… I mean Olg- I MEAN… Helga…" Bob corrected himself twice, "I know that I uh… I mean, I was doing some thinking while you were out lost in the jungle. I'm kind of used to being in control and… and not being able to find you was… well, coming this close to losing you was really… well…"

"Sobering." Miriam finished for him.

"Yeah, good word, Miriam…" Bob said, then gave his wife a look, "Remember that one. Listen, I know I haven't always exactly been the most attentive of fathers but… well, when you were lost out there I thought if I could tell you one thing, it'd be just how proud of you I am."

"Proud?" Helga scoffed, "I haven't won any trophies…"

"No, but Olga told us about everything you did to help the others. And you made it back with the others so I assume you did something right." Bob said, "But Helga, I'm proud of you just because you're my girl. You're a Pataki and I… I…"

"You what…?" Helga asked.

"I love you," Bob said with some effort at last, "Love you like a daughter, Helga…"

Helga's eyes got watery, "And… I love you like a father, Bob."

"Our family wouldn't be complete without you." Miriam said, placing a hand on her daughter's shoulder.

Wrapped tightly in her father's arms, Helga cooed, "Daddy…" Then she frowned and thought to herself.

Wait, what did I just call him? Ah well… feels kinda nice.

"There, see?" Bob said, sounding pleased with himself as he didn't so much release Helga as drop her. "Quantity time! Miriam? I did it! The girl and I are closer now!"

Helga had landed on her rear and sat on the ground glowering at her father, but she shrugged and said to herself, "Oh well. Guess that's what you'd call progress…"

As friends and families reconnected and reconciled, Arnold meanwhile had slipped away unnoticed. Stepping up the circular stone staircase of the temple, he looked out across the jungle canopy and marveled. He hadn't really had time to take in the natural wonders of the environment around him, with his mind too preoccupied with thoughts of his parents, and later just trying to survive Lasombra's wrath. The jungle had appeared forbidding and somewhat nightmarish before, and yet now Arnold beheld the picturesque green landscape with new eyes, seeing it for all its sublime beauty unspoiled by mankind. The beauty of the landscape was only enhanced by the cacophony of birds, insects and other creatures all crying out together in a beautiful natural symphony. As a city kid he had always looked for the beauty in a rather gritty urban world, and for once he found he didn't have to look hard to see the beauty the world had to offer. Here and now, this place somehow felt like home.

As he thought to himself about how he had never seen anything like this place, it dawned on him at last that he had in fact been here before. He never really dwelt on it, but he had learned from his father's journal just over a year ago that he had been born in this country, and somewhere in these very jungles. Bearing this in mind he began to feel an eerie sense of familiarity, but then looked downward at all his fellow classmates laughing and excitedly sharing the tales of their experiences, which shifted his train of thought. Arnold was eager to hear all their stories eventually, but for now he wanted to soak up as much jungle scenery as possible, and hoped he could preserve it in his minds eye when he returned to his own steel jungle. He watched as Gerald and Helga stood on the stairs above the other kids, recounting the tale of what happened in the jungle and at the hidden city, and apparently squabbling over the accuracy of some details. Suddenly, from behind him a voice snapped him out of his quiet observing.

"Arnold, my young friend?" he heard the voice of Eduardo in his ear.

"Hey, Eduardo." Arnold said, "I was just… well, I haven't really had time to really appreciate all the scenery."

"Magnificent, isn't it?" Eduardo asked, "For you I imagine it must be otherworldly. Believe me, I felt similarly on my brief visit to Hillwood, ten years ago."

"Yeah." Arnold agreed, "And now so much has changed just in the last day…"

"It's positively surreal, isn't it?" Eduardo asked.

Arnold nodded, "That's a good word for it. I don't think my life will ever be the same again. Or any of theirs…"

"Are you all right, Arnold?" Eduardo asked, "You look somewhat perturbed."

That eerie feeling returned and Arnold shrugged as he tried to explain, "I can't explain it but… there's something familiar about this place…"

"Yes, there may be cause for that." Eduardo smiled, "I take it you've read that journal of your father's." He turned and gestured off into the distance, "Do you see that mountain just over there?"

Arnold looked over the horizon behind him, and beheld a huge mountain in the distance, though it didn't exactly look quite like a mountain, but rather something else.

"Yeah… it looks like… a volcano?" Arnold gasped as the revelation dropped on him, "Hey wait, this temple… is this where… is this where I was born?"

"Indeed it is. I was here with your parents when it happened." Eduardo reminisced.

Arnold surveyed the temple with even greater scrutiny than he had before, as if trying to recall details that were impossible for his newborn mind to have retained ten years later.

Eduardo continued, "Of all the things I've seen and been through, that was truly the most intensely frightening but ultimately miraculous experience I've ever had."

"How I silenced all of nature or something?" Arnold asked.

"That's a close second." Eduardo smiled, "I was talking about the moment I think I finally won your mother over. I don't think she trusted me until then… I had a particularly bad habit of inadvertently sending your parents into near death situations, and sadly the same can be said of their decade long absence… for which I can never be sorry enough for."

Arnold looked at Eduardo, and the remorse that washed over the man's face. He had never placed any of the blame on him, but clearly Eduardo felt insurmountable guilt for the disappearance of Miles and Stella.

"You couldn't have known what would happen." Arnold stated earnestly, "You all did what you had to to help those people. I understand that. And I probably would have done the same."

Eduardo smiled warmly at him. Arnold felt the same comfort and camaraderie he had felt when Lasombra had so masterfully impersonated this man, only this time it was genuine.

"My little amigo, there will always be a place for someone like you with the Helpers for Humanity." Eduardo smiled, "But for now, I say go home. Regain your lost time with your parents. Now that I finally know of the location of the hidden city, my people and I will watch over them as best we can."

"Arnold!" they heard the voice of Helga shouting up at them, "What're you doing up there? C'mon! I'm getting tired of answering everyone's questions for you!"

Eduardo nodded to Arnold, and the two of them descended the stone steps back down to where Helga was in the process of recounting the details of their adventure to Phoebe and some others.

"… so then they upgraded me to demigod status." Helga said, "I'm like a deity to those Greneeyes now, Feebs. I'm kind of a big deal."

"Wow… although, I must say that the device used to implement the cure to the sleeping disease sounds, while innovative, a little impractical…"

"Right?" Helga agreed, "I mean, why make your entire healthcare system entirely dependent on the "pure of heart?" I mean, I appreciate the poetic implication, but it's still… no wonder it took a decade."

"Uh huh. Don't labor the point." Gerald noted, "It worked. And now my man has got his folks back."

Grandma and Grandpa had been listening to Helga and Gerald's retelling as well.

"So the pirate leader is… gone?" Grandma asked.

"Stone dead." Helga said triumphantly.

"Yeah, good thing too," Stella added.

What happened next completely floored Arnold, his father and grandfather as well as Eduardo. Helga, Stella and Grandma all got the same slightly savage look in their eyes, then pounded their fists against their palms while saying in unison, "Because if he was here right now, I'd punch him right in the-" All three of them stopped and looked at one another in slight amazement.

Similarly, the three generations of Shortman men all stared at their female companions with their jaws agape.

"That was cool…" Arnold said, as his grandpa and father said together, "That was hot…"

Everyone within earshot burst into laughter, except for Eduardo who shook his head, then said to the Shortmans, "You know? I'm beginning to think you Shortman men have a type…"

THE END


And that's it for my lost jungle memories anthology... for now at least. I've actually got at least one more to post, but it's not canon even in my story... WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? Find out soon... same jungle time, same jungle channel.