"Three trainee doctors walk into a back entrance to the hospital; A black man, an Australian, and a girl who's so fucked off her damn face she's unconscious-"

"-House..."

"...Who gets fired?"

House regards her levelly as the brunette opens and closes her mouth in search of an answer.

"I... It won't happen again."

"You're damn right it won't happen again! I mean fuck, Cameron, what the hell were you thinking?"

"I shouldn't have used hospital drugs... I'm sorry..."

"Oh, stop it! If this was about the damn drip I would be hounding all three of you! In fact, if this was about the drip, you'd be the one I'd place the least blame on, what with you being completely incoherent when that little decision was made. No, what I'm fucked off about is that little Miss Perfect- key word; little- felt the need to drink herself into a stupor! Cameron... This has to stop!"

She glares at him, opening her mouth to argue that he has no point; no case. That she is perhaps the only one amongst them to never have stepped even a toe out of line when it comes to the hospital's drugs and drink conduct before. House catches her quickly, shaking his head and holding up his hand.

"If you can't deal with the shit Vogler laid on you then you need to say so right now, because I'll be damned if I'm going to sit here feeling obliged to worry about your sorry ass as you fret yourself into a nervous break-down. If you can't get yourself through the next couple of days sober and in control of your emotions, I'll give Vogler your name today and we can be done with this, do you understand?

"...Why haven't you already?"

"Oh, god, what did I tell you about this whole Martyr business? It's boring! I haven't given your name- any of your names- to Vogler, as no matter how much you three conspire to irk me, you are all fully competent doctors and are a key part to this team. Now, I am sorry that you find yourself in the unique position of possessing breasts- if you can call the little you have up there breasts- and that this has caused the Chairman to feel he can come up with yet more rules to this ridiculous little game, but... Grow up, suck it up, and get on with your job... Ok?"

"... Yes..."

"Good."

House rises and limps quickly over to the small cabinet above the sink and pulls down a half eaten carton of fruit-winders. Taking out three and pocketing one, he tosses the remaining two in her direction, before making his way back and moving them from their chaotic landing positions to rest before her.

"Eat these. Lots of sugar; they'll do a much better job of making you feel better than a bloody apple."

He gives her a curt nod before limping off into Wilson's office, leaving the brunette fidgeting with the candied fruit tentatively before heading off for clues to their current case, nibbling at her bounty as she goes.


"I swear, if I had known the hassle of looking after three children, I never would have had any!"

"... Okay?"

Wilson looks up curiously as House falls into the old leather chair opposite his desk, glaring at his friend moodily.

"Is this still about Cameron?"

"Yes!"

"Hmmm... curious that she seems to be getting to you so badly..."

"Curious?! What the hell? Yesterday you were telling me off for not taking this seriously, and now suddenly it's 'curious'?!"

"So you are taking this seriously now?"

"I... Chase and Foreman carried Cameron into my office last night and put her on a fucking vitamin drip..."

"Why would they-"

"-Why? Because the little idiot got herself so worked up she decided to get completely and mortally wasted until she passed out!"

"...Shit."

"Yes! Shit! I know you think I should talk to her, and a good lot of help would come of that, but I have! I've tried! I... I think she's genuinely weighing up her options with Vogler."

"... If I recall correctly, you yourself were of the opinion that she would be doing herself a favor playing by his rules..."

"It's Cameron!"

"Yes, that's what I tried to tell you!"

"It's Cameron! The likelihood of her submitting to a suggestion like that should be nil!... But, now... I think..."

"House-"

"- If he touches her..."

Wilson frowns, clicking a pen distractedly between his fingers. He watches as his friend struggles to calm down slightly and proceeds with caution.

"He can't touch her unless she lets him..."

"And that's supposed to make me feel better?!"

"House..."

"If she wasn't entertaining the idea then she wouldn't be acting the way she is...It's not consensual; it's blackmail!"

"I know! Look, I know, that's what I was trying to tell you... I think...Well, I think you should fire her."

"What?!"

"If you're really, genuinely, thinking she's in a position where she's in trouble; fire her... Write her a reference- if you play by Vogler's rules there's no reason she wouldn't be able to use it- and let her go. If you keep her in the place of either of the other two, there's a good chance she'll quit out of guilt anyway, and there's no telling how Vogler will react around her... Let her go... But, for god's sake, tell her why you've done it!"

"Tell her-"

"-That she's a good doctor! That you'd rather circumstances were different! That, due to recent events, it's not a fair option, but it's the best one you've got. Just don't... Don't be you and make her feel like crap about it."

House sighs and rubs at the scruff that lines his jaw irritably.

"This is all so fucked up."

"... It is... And I'm sorry."

Regarding the oncologist a moment longer, House finally gives a small nod, and limps back over to his office, taking a seat at his desk. He imagines things will work out better if he speaks to Cameron before finding the Chairman and making him aware of his decision, and so waits for his young employees to return from their errands in the bleak darkness of his office.