Author's Note: So, I think I'll be having more time to write during the school year than I expected. I won't be doing any clubs because they don't have Math club or Yearbook club, which I did last year. This weekend should be a treat since I'm off Monday for Labor Day, so it's like a three-day weekend! Once again I would like to thank Kenzi, my beta for all your help! Anyway, onto the story!

Jane

Eli was concerned about me at work. I guess you could say we're broken up even though we were never offically boyfriend and girlfriend, but we are still friends. I ended up confessing all of what's been happening. So, I guess I'll write it down in here.

"Jane, a moment?" Eli said as I was walking past his office. I glumly walked slowly into his office, the office that used to belong to Jeremy. He had changed it up a bit. The picture of the London flag that used to hang on the left wall, which I used to admire often, was now replaced by a picture of Gray and himself. They were both smiling broadly into the lens, Eli had taken the picture because I could see a strip of his extended arm cut off. Looking at them both up close I could see the resemblance. Same puppy dog brown eyes and button-like noses. The vase of flowers that used to stand atop the desk were now replaced by a minature replica of the effial tower.

"Yes, Eli?" I meant for my voice to sound professional, quiet and poised, but it ended up coming out as a quiet croak.

"What's wrong?" His concern got me itching to break down and pour my heart out to him, but I tried to ignore it by replying,

"Nothing."

"Oh, come on. You've been off the past few weeks. You're not yourself. Something most me up." He took a seat on the plush black leather couch that's been pushed up against the wall and pats the empty spot next to it. I hesitantly sit down next to him.

"You up for talking?" he asked me, his eyebrows are still knit up in the confusion he's been in everytime he sees me. I gave one of my famous sighs and said,

"More than you'd think."

"So, what's up?"

"Okay, well, you know when you told me...you...slept with someone else." An awkard silence passes between us before either of us speak.

"Yeah?"

"And, you...you said, and I quote, 'Well...sounds like you should be with him'. And, I've been thinking alot about that. You're right. You made me realize I have feelings for him. Not just feelings...I've realized I'm in love with him." The last words came out as a mere whisper. I wait patiently for what I've said to sink in. His eyes get as big as saucers and his mouth forms a perfect O shape. A few seconds pass before he says,

"Really?"

"Yes, really." Tears silently slide down my face but he doesn't seem to notice. I've been crying so much for weeks that I would've thought I'd be all dried out and have no tears left.

"So, you've fallen for him because...of what I said?"

"No, I've been in love with him for awhile, you just finally opened up my eyes to see it."

"Wow...that's wow..."

"I know. It hurts so much. Like I said he's with Zoe. It hurts to see him with her. It even hurts just seeing him. It's worse that now Zoe's being all nice to me and wants to be friends. I want to be friends too but it's only a matter of time before she'll find out the truth, and when she does she'll hate me forever. I don't want that. I didn't want any of this to happen." Now, I can't control the tears as they change to full force. I cried even harder than I'd cried in the closet with Billy. Their the same as always, bent up sobs that make me seem like a little five year old.

"Oh, Jane, this must be hard." I give him a meek little nod of my head and continue to cry. He can tell all I want is silence. So, I just sit there, crying quietly to myself.

Why was this happening to me? And, why now of all times? Why when I'd finally got settled in at work and had a good thing running? Why did I have to 'fall head over heels' in love with Billy? I sit there longer, it felt like hours but was probably only a couple of minutes. I lean my head back against the soft material of the couch and wipe my eyes. Eli finally breaks the silence that I've gotten tired of by saying,

"Jane, I'm your friend. You can talk to me more about it if you want."

"Thanks Eli. I guess it won't do any harm to talk." I turned my body around so that I'm facing him and give a sniffle before starting,

"He's my best friend, since kindergaten in fact. There's never really been anything between us. I recently found out he'd had feelings for me awhile back, but he doesn't any more. He doesn't even know that I know. I don't want to tell him for the same reasons he never told me. I don't want to risk the chance of loosing our friendship. We've been through thick and thin. I don't think he ever had the same feelings as I do now, I think his feelings...they were what people would say about my feelings. That it's normal to develop feelings for one another in a boy-girl friendship and whatever. But, my feelings are different. I don't just like him, I love him, I'm in love with him." He continues to listen intently to me rant on and on about all of what I'm feeling. He never once disagrees or interrupts me. Honestly, I think it's the best conversation I've had about this, better than when I talk to Ben. I know I barely know him but it feels good. It feels good to let someone inside the door of my heart.

Love, Janey